Heartbroke and defeated...

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  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    If you can do 60 days of working out without losing weight, I think you really can lose weight. Just the fact you've stuck with it this long just means you're determined!!! You should find a nutritionist who can tell you EXACTLY how much you should be eating and can give you tips on WHAT to eat, because you could be eating too little or too much to lose weight. You can do this!!!! Add me too.
  • Jivebunnie
    Jivebunnie Posts: 18 Member
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    Please don't give up or be hard on yourself - there's loads of people here that need to lose 100lbs + and I'm one of them. There's loads of people here that can support you - please feel free to add me as a friend if you want.

    :flowerforyou:
  • bella_babe_86
    bella_babe_86 Posts: 503 Member
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    I weighed 253 lbs when I started, I'm down to 229 after falling of the wagon multiple times, I have friends on here who were much bigger with much bigger goals and have lost way more weight than me. You are not too big to do it on your own, that doctor is an idiot. Try some more cardio based exercises alot of JM stuff i've done has not resulted in large amounts of weightloss. Feel free to add me too, you can do this!!
  • trishstrain
    trishstrain Posts: 3 Member
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    DO NOT GIVE UP! Surgery is not your only option - maybe not even the best option! I lost more than 120 pounds over 13 months and have kept it off for a year and nine months by simply modifying my eating and instituting a regular exercise program. You can do it!! Please don't get discouraged. It is SO worth it!!!
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
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    Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.

    Definitely. If your ticker is right, there's no way that you're "too big" for doing this on your own. Please don't give up-- you CAN do it.

    Seriously! Dont do this and get a new doc. I had an aunt that did that and she almost died...TWICE!! My mother who weighted more than her, dropped 75lbs with just walks and eating right. When she went to the plastic surgeon to talk about removing all of her extra skin, he was in shock that she did this alone and so proud of her. Again, i think you need a new doc and maybe if you feel fit for it, talk to a nutritionalist to see what advice they can offer to help you too.
  • skb12573
    skb12573 Posts: 202 Member
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    Time to find a new doctor. Your current one is an idiot.


    This is the truth! You definitely need a new doctor. Seriously, you will do yourself a huge favor to dump that doctor right now and find another!
    You can do this! So many have before you. Keep working it! Show that doc who's the boss!
  • Akijade
    Akijade Posts: 210 Member
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    Sweetie, I've got over 100 lbs to lose still, and I've already lost 30. Lap band is a tool to consider, but not necessary by any means. My mom got a bypass and while it helped temporarily, it still requires exercise and diet to lose and maintain the weight.

    I would suggest maybe giving yourself a day or two of rest. It sounds like you are going pretty hardcore with the exercise. Sometimes a day to recover will help.
  • vestarocks
    vestarocks Posts: 449 Member
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    Yay! Good to hear that you are refusing it. If it were me I would be anxiously awaiting the day I could waltz into my Dr.'s office and show her what good nutrition and exercise will do (except that I would have fired her for suggesting that I was too big to lose weight by diet and exercise and recommending lapband). There is no quick fix. You got this. You didn't put it on overnight and you certainly won't take it off overnight. You've found the right place to come for support. There are a lot of inspiring people here. Find their stories and write your own.

    PS. I'm glad you are deciding to clean up your eating - it may not make a difference to your weight but your body will thank you.
  • cantjustcant
    cantjustcant Posts: 1,027 Member
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    Please don't give up. Someone who has an amazing story and did this all by herself is http://www.myfitnesspal.com/namaste1983
    and you should friend her as well. She talks about how its all about small changes, one at a time. You have a great start with 7 pounds lost. You CAN do this.

    I just posted a link to this thread on Sarah's page! She is truly a study in how to do it and do it right! You will love her and love her story!
  • DesignGuy
    DesignGuy Posts: 457 Member
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    First, if your Dr. recommends a lap band or other surgery for weight AND you're not going to die tomorrow, tell him to screw off. So sick of hearing this crap. Surgery is being marketed as some quick fix BS. If you don't change what got you there in the first place, you're screwed anyway.

    Last I looked there is tons and I mean tons of success stories on this site from people with tons of weight to lose. It takes time and work. It's not magic.

    Sorry, but crap like this pisses me off. Eat as best as you can, work out and mix in some patience. Don't care what the scale says. If you change your eating habits and exercise in a positive way, you're in far better shape than before you started and you're going the right way.

    If you give up, you lose. Don't do it. And don't get sucked in to all the crap out there.
  • boku70
    boku70 Posts: 80
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    I lost 110 lbs on diet and exercise.

    Your doctor is a fool.
  • BandedTriaRN
    BandedTriaRN Posts: 303
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    Your Dr is probably going by research that shows that 90% of people who lose weight re-gain within 5 years. I read that research was done a very long time ago and I know people who lost weight in their teens (one girl from over 250 lbs and down to 120lbs over a couple of years and that was 20 plus years ago and she is still skinny! So it can be done). I could never keep my weight off and finally got the lap band. I love it. My insurance paid for it. Best money we ever spent even with all the testing that I had to go through. BUT you still have to deal with your issues. The band does not push the food away when one eats out of stress or emotions. I had taken years of time dealing with my emotional eating issues. Then, I finally found a book that clicked with me "Shrink Yourself" by Dr Roger L. Gould. It really helped me tremendously. I can even let you borrow it via kindle "loan" for two weeks if you give me your email! I am hoping you will feel better about your dieting. I know how hard it was. I tried to lose and regain the same 25 lbs, prior to my surgery, for about 5 months. I had dieted myself up to 310 and now I have lost over 100 lbs total (about 80 since my surgery). You might want to tell your Dr that there are complications that can occur with all WLS including lap band and you don't have the money to afford it. Maybe switch to another, more intelligent and empathetic Dr, good luck whatever you do!
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 707 Member
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    "So big that you have no hope?" No way. I started out over 400 lbs (don't know how much because I waited until I'd been losing for months to step on a scale). Insurance companies normally won't even cover surgery unless you show you can lose on your own. I don't know if your diary is open, but if not, open it up--folks will help you. I admit, the past few months I've been really struggling, losing maybe a pound every two weeks, but that's after a pretty substantial loss. You absolutely can lose this without surgery, your doc's completely wrong here. Also, have you had a full thyroid work-up?

    Hang in--you absolutely CAN do this.

    BTW--my weight loss is from my first weigh-in--I've actually lost over 160. You CAN!

    Kris
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Find a new doctor. The relationship with your health care provider is best as a team. Your health is the common goal. Find someone who can send you for nutritional counseling and get really educated. Don't give up!
  • gmeiners2
    gmeiners2 Posts: 38 Member
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    I had and lost a lap band after two slips. It's a slow loss method and there is the constant filling and unfilling of the band. After I had my band removed I tried on my own again for two years and gradually gained the weight and my diabetes back. I finally sucked it up and had Gastric Sleeve surgery. It was a breeze compared to the lap band. Back to work in two weeks, back to the gym in 4 weeks. After only 4 months I'm back at the weight that I was after a year with the band. My diabetes is in remission and I feel great. Consider the gastric sleeve, it saved me! Good luck!
  • natvanessa
    natvanessa Posts: 230 Member
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    Add proving her wrong to the list of reasons why you want to lose weight and carry on!
    [/quote]

    Exactly!! Also, as someone else mentioned your doc probably would get a cut out of the cost of surgery. He/she is not thinking about you but themself. Get thee to another doctor asap

    Good luck! And feel free to add me as well
    :smile:
  • lorihalsted
    lorihalsted Posts: 326 Member
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    While I know several people "in real life" who have had lapband or bypass surgery and successfully lost and kept off large amounts of weight for over a year, it is not the only answer! They still have to exercise and eat VERY carefully for the rest of their lives. It's not a cureall, and it will change how your body handles certain foods FOREVER. Plus, it's not covered by insurance, as far as I know. Two of the three the people I'm thinking of were closer to 200 pounds overweight, not 100, and had health issues. If you've only got 70-100 pounds to lose, I don't think your doctor should probably not be recommending a drastic surgery.

    Okay, FIRST of all....DON'T GIVE UP!!!!! You have already lost 7 lbs which is a great start even if you are losing a pound a month.

    SECOND, I have had lapband surgery and guess what???? I am here!!!!! I was 35 years old, 5'2" and 335 lbs; a good 200 pounds overweight. I had surgery July 15, 2006, and don't regret it for a second. I lost 85 pounds the first 8 months and then guess what??? I quit losing. It's not that I didn't try, I tried even harder still no more loss. Fast forward to today. I am on MFP losing the rest of my excess weight.

    THIRD....Get a different doctor. Any doctor that thinks surgery is the ultimate answer doesn't have all the facts.

    Good luck!!!!
  • kahlee2000
    kahlee2000 Posts: 77
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    There are always alternatives if you really don't like the option of surgery. When I started I was just under 400 lbs, at 5 feet tall. I couldn't walk, couldn't stand for more than 5 minutes, my blood pressure was 198/100, and I had recently passed out and been hauled out of the office in the back of an ambulance. My doctor told me the same thing. And I told her I absolutely REFUSE to consider surgery.

    I started in a swimming pool, and all I could do was treat water for 10 minutes at a time. I had to get really radical with the food -- in other words I turned into a food nazi about what went in my mouth and how many calories I consumed in a day. Today I am walking 3 miles every day and I am down 117 lbs. I haven't felt this good in years!

    Hang in there -- and what ever you choose remember you aren't alone in this battle! You have lots of friends here!
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
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    Definitely get a new doctor and if you can, find a nutritionist. There's no such thing as being too big to lose weight, and a good doctor would have asked you a lot of detailed questions about your diet and exercise regimen. Maybe he even would have suggested getting checked out for thyroid problems or other health problems that can hinder weight loss. Surgery should never, ever be the first option- in fact it should only be the last option.

    I'd recommend finding some friends on here who have lost 100+ lbs, as well as making sure you are eating enough NET calories, and take at least one day off from working out.

    Also, don't forget that losing 6 lbs is better than losing none. I'm not sure how long it took you to lose those 6 but it's still a start.

    Some people have a more difficult time losing weight than others and you might need to play around with different things until you find what works for you, but you CAN do this!

    Feel free to add me if you'd like to :)
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    My biggest motivation (when I am feeling overwhelmed) is to go on the message boards and just scroll through and read ALL the stories from people on here who have lost over 100 pounds. Some of the heroes on here have lost up to 150 - 200 pounds. I still have a ways to go, but this is wonderful support when I feel like I will never, ever be thin and healthy again. Reconsider the surgery - this site is teaching me to eat better, healthier, and to have accountability for the first time while dieting. I am actually thinking HARD before eating something because I know I will have to log it in. This is amazing for me. I wish you success on your journey and hope you find your balance again soon. :flowerforyou:

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