Who initiates in your house??

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  • ZombieDiva76
    ZombieDiva76 Posts: 15 Member
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    The alarm can play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.......:tongue:
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    The alarm can play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.......:tongue:

    "Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang? :laugh:
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    The alarm can play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.......:tongue:

    I agree with this one! "Closer" would be a great song to have sex to! Although, the only band that I've ever had sex to was Satyricon.
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
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    me mostly but I make him ask lately , I tired of asking and him saying "not tonight, I need a shower, how about tomorrow?" ughh I don't plan it ..it happens or it doesn't we have been together 9 years
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    The alarm can play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.......:tongue:

    "Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang? :laugh:

    Or anything by the Bloodhound Gang for that matter!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    me mostly but I make him ask lately , I tired of asking and him saying "not tonight, I need a shower, how about tomorrow?" ughh I don't plan it ..it happens or it doesn't we have been together 9 years

    WHAT?! No shower sex?! :sad:
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
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    Five kids later... I'd say there was enough initiating going on around here... We're trying to avoid each other now. ;P
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Me. Apparently as I started losing weight, I turned into a complete horndog.
    I noticed ;)

    HIIIHOOOO! Whatchya tryin to say?! :huh:
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    The alarm can play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.......:tongue:

    I miss sex music. Now I have to listen for a baby monitor :grumble:
  • ZombieDiva76
    ZombieDiva76 Posts: 15 Member
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    The alarm can play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.......:tongue:

    I miss sex music. Now I have to listen for a baby monitor :grumble:


    Love sex music...especially if it has a"driving beat"..... :drinker:
  • beyg
    beyg Posts: 212 Member
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    If you said no a lot I'd say he has a legit point, but I don't know why he'd threaten to leave over that.

    I could see him talking to you about it, but not leaving. It's not like he's being deprived with that amount.

    Some guys don't know how good they have it. I'd be ecstatic if my wife had your mindset.

    To answer your question, my wife does initiate more, but it's only because I don't bother trying anymore. After getting rejected so many times, a guy kind of gets sick of it.

    So truth!! lol!!
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
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    Honestly, I don't usually initiate. I did more when we were dating. My husband does it 98% of the time.

    Unless I'm drinking... then I'm all over it.
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 648 Member
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    We both do. Its basically 50/50. But I haven't heard much about rather your man is helping you reach the Big O. It's a pretty well know fact that 90% of women have to be helped to reach climax. If your man is doing that for you, then you have nothing to complain about. Initiate a hell of a lot more, it won't hurt. I only get the Big O, maybe 6 or 7 times a year, if I'm lucky. It's always "Wam, bam, I'm done with you, Mam." He never turns me down, but he never wants to touch me, either. We have sex about twice a week, that is He does.
  • gail2207
    gail2207 Posts: 133
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    . But like I said--I don't hardly ever tell him no and we are together probably 4 or 5 times a week. What is the norm in your relationship?

    Oh my god! Three or four times a WEEK? I've only been with my fiance three years and we 're lucky if it's once a week! I have basically no libido and don't think about sex at all, and he stopped wanting to initiate it all the time, so now we just don't do it much. Is that strange?

    This my sound harsh.. but do yourselves a favor and REALLY REALLY explore this before tying the knot.

    Not harsh, I appreciate it. The thing is I just don't really enjoy sex that much, I do it to keep him happy and just spend the time thinking about cooking, or tv and waiting for him to be done. Sometimes I want sex, but rarely. But it isn't like I want to have sex with anyone else, I just have no sex drive. I don't even think about it anymore, I don't have fantasies. But I know I love him and I am attracted to him. Also in every other relationship i've had the sex has just repulsed me...it doesn't repulse me now with him and I enjoy it sometimes so it must be ok....
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    When i was with my EX I initiated 99% of the time. Usually was turned down 99% of the time. :( I'd have given the world for the OP 4-5x a week!
  • _AllieCat_
    _AllieCat_ Posts: 515 Member
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    Usually me, but it requires negotiation, usually related to promising to buy her something the next day. I hurts my feelings, and makes me feel pretty cheap and worthless.

    This made me sick reading it. I am so sorry to hear that... that's no way to be treated.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    I'm really sad to see all of the stories about people using sex as a negotiating tool. I was in a relationship a long time ago like that, and looking back, I'm disgusted by how unhealthy it was, and disappointed in myself for not getting out sooner.
  • sarasmile144
    sarasmile144 Posts: 108 Member
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    It's even in our house, my boyfriend is fond of my libido.
  • rosesedge
    rosesedge Posts: 36
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    When I was in a couple, I'd say about 70/30 him/me, and (as we didn't live together) roughly 3 times a week. However, I've been single for nearly a year now, and there's been no initiating by anyone, so who knows!
  • braign
    braign Posts: 89
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    I honestly don't know, but I don't actively initiate, it just comes to me when I want it/give out the signals, or when I tell him my plans for that evening if they involve me being taken care of lol. It's not a thing we really count, since to me, taking note of each initiation sounds more like a symptom of the initiator feeling un-sexy or undesirable. I try to make my guy feel special whether or not I want sex, by kissing, complimenting him, squeezing his sexy arms etc. And he also understands that my stress levels would affect my sexual appetite and so he wants to help me cope with stress as much as he can. It's a two-way street.

    It upsets me to read about so many unhappy marriages/relationships on here. I've been in those before, and it sucks :(

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