The Thin Treatment

snowgrrl83
snowgrrl83 Posts: 242 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been nearly overweight, I've been underweight and I've been mostly of normal weight all my life.... but the one thing I notice, is that when I'm at a low weight, nearly underweight, or slightly underweight, that people, strangers, particularly men, treat me differently. They treat me well, when I'm thin...

When I'm thinner, people smile at me, say hello, I make friends much easily, women idealize me and men want to talk to me and help me in any way they can.

Has anyone else experienced this? What are the benefits that thin people get in our society that "regular folks" don't get?
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Replies

  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree. Men like women. All women. All kinds of women. Big women, Thin women, Small breasted women, large breasted women, african american women, asian women, caucasian women, WOMEN.

    And I will tell you- I have heard this SO many times- the most attractive thing about ANY woman is confidence. A woman who exudes confidence is extremely sexy and desireable.

    Perhaps when you are "thinner" you are more confident and have a more extroverted personality? Maybe thats why women are jealous and men find you irresistable.

    Women on here who go from mordibly obese to slightly overweight and make great strides in their body's appearance are extremely attractive. Whether they are "thin" or not, they know how hard they've worked to get there and it shows. ;)

    Just my thoughts!
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
    I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree. Men like women. All women. All kinds of women. Big women, Thin women, Small breasted women, large breasted women, african american women, asian women, caucasian women, WOMEN.

    And I will tell you- I have heard this SO many times- the most attractive thing about ANY woman is confidence. A woman who exudes confidence is extremely sexy and desireable.

    Perhaps when you are "thinner" you are more confident and have a more extroverted personality? Maybe thats why women are jealous and men find you irresistable.

    Women on here who go from mordibly obese to slightly overweight and make great strides in their body's appearance are extremely attractive. Whether they are "thin" or not, they know how hard they've worked to get there and it shows. ;)

    Just my thoughts!

    ^^THIS. You are likely looking happier/smiling more, which will result in people smiling back!
  • leopard_barbie
    leopard_barbie Posts: 279 Member
    I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree. Men like women. All women. All kinds of women. Big women, Thin women, Small breasted women, large breasted women, african american women, asian women, caucasian women, WOMEN.

    And I will tell you- I have heard this SO many times- the most attractive thing about ANY woman is confidence. A woman who exudes confidence is extremely sexy and desireable.

    Perhaps when you are "thinner" you are more confident and have a more extroverted personality? Maybe thats why women are jealous and men find you irresistable.

    Women on here who go from mordibly obese to slightly overweight and make great strides in their body's appearance are extremely attractive. Whether they are "thin" or not, they know how hard they've worked to get there and it shows. ;)

    Just my thoughts!

    ^^THIS. You are likely looking happier/smiling more, which will result in people smiling back!

    Also agree with these guys! When I lost weight (down from 170-180) I was a lot more confident in myself and people liked me more because I was more fun! There are women I idealize and think are beautiful who weigh more than I do, I don't care how skinny other people are anywhere near as much as I care about how skinny I am.
  • snowgrrl83
    snowgrrl83 Posts: 242 Member
    I don't think that my "confidence" levels played in on this one.
    I'd say that I was probably more confident at a higher weight than I was at a lower weight.

    So what gives?
    Does society really treat thin people differently?
  • jallen1955
    jallen1955 Posts: 121
    Yep...thin people, pretty people, tall people and young people....all get treated differently than the rest of us.

    Guess the worst combination would be to be fat, ugly, short and old.
  • danapouncey
    danapouncey Posts: 31
    I agree OP!

    The statement 'men like women whatever' is false. I notice how when I was thinner I got a lot better treatment FROM MEN. men were more likely to wait and hold doors open, go out of their way to help me, have a chat with me etc, wolf whistle etc BUT WOMEN were awful. I'd get dirty looks all the time, it would really upset me to be honest.

    Now it's neutral. Like Im not even there. I can't decide which I like best.

    It's nothing to do with confidence because I didn't even notice I was fat at first.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    I think people treat me differently now, especially men. I have an example, I used to shop at a small store near my old home and one cashier pretty much ignored me when I was fat, he never said much or smiled. I went a few months ago for the first time in over a year and he was very talkative and flirty.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    If we're going to be real here, then yes you're right OP. If we're going to be all PC, then no. Obviously a thinner frame is generally more attractive than one that is overweight. It's simple, and people can choose to deny or accept that, but the reality is that it's true.
  • snowgrrl83
    snowgrrl83 Posts: 242 Member
    It drives me crazy how people treat me differently.
    I'm the SAME PERSON inside!!!!... but the social benefits of being thin are simply to great (not to mention the health benefits, etc.)

    Its funny, because, subconciously, I know that people don't do it on purpose. I find myself acting towards this stereotype as well (not conciously, of course).
  • FrostyFour
    FrostyFour Posts: 262
    I saw a thread a while back of women complaining about guys honking at them and whistling as they went down the street when she bent over, or just because.

    That has NEVER happened to me.

    If it does, I'm probably going to be shocked and confused. But flattered.
  • frosty73
    frosty73 Posts: 424 Member
    Personally, I tend to be suspicious of people that are "too perfect". I like real people and I don't trust people who look like Barbie dolls all the time. But yes, men in general did treat me better when I was thinner.
  • Derpina7
    Derpina7 Posts: 552 Member
    I agree OP!

    The statement 'men like women whatever' is false. I notice how when I was thinner I got a lot better treatment FROM MEN. men were more likely to wait and hold doors open, go out of their way to help me, have a chat with me etc, wolf whistle etc BUT WOMEN were awful. I'd get dirty looks all the time, it would really upset me to be honest.

    Now it's neutral. Like Im not even there. I can't decide which I like best.

    It's nothing to do with confidence because I didn't even notice I was fat at first.

    I agree with ya, I feel/felt the same way. I was thin and shy and got better treatment from guys *le sigh* haha.
  • Saaski
    Saaski Posts: 105 Member
    I know two people who can vouch for the 'Thin Treatment' and, in my opinion, really proves how completely inappropriate it is. The first, a girl I know, Dora, has several health conditions, and during a treatment was taking medications that were huge appetite suppressants. She was at a good, healthy (and fit--she's a dancer) weight and then dropped a good 20 pounds. She complained to me a lot about hating how sickly thin her arms and legs looked, and the increase of unwanted attention and comments from people. When the treatment ended and she was able to get some healthy weight back, said attention stopped.

    Second person, a relative. A very pretty, full-figured girl. Perfect apple shape. Already had admirers because she was happy and confident and a lot of fun to be around, on top of being beautiful. Got...really sick. Dropped sixty pounds in four months. And the people who hadn't seen her during were all over, "you look so good!" At being dangerously ill, unable to eat, and in a wheelchair.

    Society treats thin people differently? Without a doubt.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    Are women different? I’ve seen guys that weren’t the cutest or in the best shape be treated like they were scum by girls in school. Then if they buff up or “grow into their looks” those same girls were all of the sudden treating them nicer and being flirty.

    My husband says it’s a survival instinct. We’re going to be attracted to the person that we feel we will have the best chance to procreate with because life must go on…he might have a point and I believe everyone’s entitled to have a preference with who they’re attracted to-but I don’t like hearing someone being treated like trash either.
  • EvilPink
    EvilPink Posts: 94 Member
    I think there is a valid argument for both sides. If you look at a photo in a magazine and there's a pic of a thin girl and an overweight girl or a chubby guy next to a 6 pakc; which are you going to focus on? For the majority of the population, it's going to be the thin girl and the 6 pack guy. In society, when you're out and about walking around - you're nothing but a moving photograph. The prettiest picture is going to get the focus. So, as your photograph gets prettier to the societal eye - it's going to get more focus. Plain and simple. Now, of course, this doesn't take into account anything outside of strictly looks. Once you actually talk to said hot moving photograph - the stupidity may make you turn and run, lol. But there are people out there who are so shallow that they do in fact only want to look at, associate, or be in a relationship with attractive people no matter what other qualities they may have or lack.

    But, on the other side; I can completely understand and agree that insecurities play a huge role too. When you're closed off, it easily transmits, whether you realize it or not, and makes you completely unapproachable even if someone finds your photo to be the prettiest. Who wants to associate with a miserable person?
  • Jugie12
    Jugie12 Posts: 282 Member
    The more weight I lose, the more attention/better treatment I get from men, especially my boyfriend. Oddly enough, the more weight I lose, the more women glare and 'throw daggers'.

    Win some, lose some. I just wanna get fit and be ME!:bigsmile:
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    I get it. I have noticed it now that I lost weight. I think people want to talk to me because i look happier.
  • cuatromommy
    cuatromommy Posts: 120 Member
    In my opinion this is a no brainer.
  • incfighters
    incfighters Posts: 18 Member
    I agree. I was bothered that people just seemed soo much nicer when I lost weight. Same people I'd pass by every day, same customers that come in...all of a sudden people want to go out of their way more for me. And I haven't changed my personality whatsoever. It kinda pissed me off because I've been overweight my whole life...and there was such an obvious difference.
  • leopard_barbie
    leopard_barbie Posts: 279 Member
    I saw a thread a while back of women complaining about guys honking at them and whistling as they went down the street when she bent over, or just because.

    That has NEVER happened to me.

    If it does, I'm probably going to be shocked and confused. But flattered.

    When it starts happening after being overweight for a long time it kind of feels like they're making fun of you haha.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Honestly, I've gotten the same amount of attention from men (and been able to make friends with females) no matter what size I've been. At my lowest, about a size 0 my freshman year of college and at my highest, a size 14 a few months ago---made no difference. Literally none.

    The only things I can take from that are 1. I've always carried myself the same way (head up, smile on my face, approachable), and 2. No matter what size I've been, I've always had bigger boobs since I was a senior in high school. I was that girl who basically hit puberty twice--once when I was 13, got my period and my first bra,and then when I was 17 it's like I suddenly had these hips and big breasts, went from a B cup to a D cup almost over night(even though I was teeny tiny elsewhere)...man to be 17 again...

    HOWEVER, I DO think very overweight people are treated much more poorly in general than very thin people. I have never been extremely overweight (at my heaviest, people didn't even believe me when I told them what size I wear---I think I'm blessed with good proportions), nor have I ever been super underweight, so I wouldn't be able to give personal experience with the extremes.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Are women different? I’ve seen guys that weren’t the cutest or in the best shape be treated like they were scum by girls in school. Then if they buff up or “grow into their looks” those same girls were all of the sudden treating them nicer and being flirty.

    My husband says it’s a survival instinct. We’re going to be attracted to the person that we feel we will have the best chance to procreate with because life must go on…he might have a point and I believe everyone’s entitled to have a preference with who they’re attracted to-but I don’t like hearing someone being treated like trash either.

    Completely agree.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

    what a shallow jerk! I dont care if they lock the thread! the nerve of you... especially since you're not exactly small yourself...

    sooo ignorant!
    Is he a shallow jerk? He was honest. I don't like super skinny guys and I don't like fat guys. I did a lot of visual judging when I was in the dating world before getting to know the person. Its human nature.

    Because his comment was not necessary, and he worked in a way to come across as a shallow jerk, that is how. Especially because I have much hotter guy friends on my list (@Sean) That aren't even as judgmental.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

    Really? That's what you have to add? Pot.....Kettle.....
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
    Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.
    what a ****.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    Another bloody over generalization thread....

    /rolls his eyes and walks back out.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

    Oh, how I laughed when I saw your pic - the fine figure of a man that you are!
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    HOWEVER, I DO think very overweight people are treated much more poorly in general than very thin people. I have never been extremely overweight (at my heaviest, people didn't even believe me when I told them what size I wear---I think I'm blessed with good proportions), nor have I ever been super underweight, so I wouldn't be able to give personal experience with the extremes.

    Thank you for acknowledging this fact. People who've never been morbidly obese don't understand how differently the world works for those of us who are.
  • rosiejocotton
    rosiejocotton Posts: 12
    Meh, I've never really been thin, but people treat me differently when I carry myself with confidence.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I was just melting down over this the other day!! All of the extra niceness and attention is VERY much to much...I still have a ways to go. Even my best guy friend, that I have known for years are falling over themselves...asking me out...I had 5 invites for this weekend alone. I have been a single mom for 10 yrs and have been asked out twice...

    So yes...I completely understand..More people smile, men hold the door open now...dont get me wrong...I am very pleased with all of the hard work that I have done and want the compliments...I guess my brain just hasn't caught up yet.

    Nice post! Thank you!
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