MEN.. HELP..!! (maybe women moms of pre-teens or teen..)

Get a male that he looks up to explain a few things to him- maybe his dad, brother, etc. Just tell him that as you grow up things begin to change and it's all normal (but if he's going to 'touch' himself theres a time and place for it!)- you won't really have to go into too much depth- I'm sure he'll make sure he finds out what he doesn't understand!! If you're mature about the topic and treat him as a grown up, he'll respond a lot better than if you try make a big deal of it. Alternatively, leave the encyclopaedia lying around open to a specific page?!? (He might rather going over it/ through the information in his own time and at his own pace?!?

19 year old male here. I was about the same age, maybe a little younger even. I wouldn't talk to him, there is nothing that he really needs to know, just let him figure it out. Personally I would rather do anything than have that conversation with my mother. As long as it wasn't any weird there's no need to confront him.

I agree with the part about not having it with my mother- I probably would have died if she'd tried to talk to me about it!! (I already knew all about it when I got the 'talk' cause of friends at school, but it still felt awkward!!)

I'm a mom of a 12 yr old, soon to be 13 in July. This is perfectly normal. I'm assuming that he has already had the health talk at school and at home. Go for a car ride (this way you are side by side and not eye to eye which is less embarrassing for males) and explain to him that you apologize for not knocking. At his age you realize that he needs his privacy. There is nothing for him to be ashamed of and these actions/feelings are normal. Then, just drop it. Not sure if there is a male he can talk to, if so tell him that if he has any other questions he can talk to his person. Period.

Mom of 3 boys... 11, 13, and 15... I have been there. In my opinion, best not to say anything. He can figure that part out on his own. And if you mention it, you will embarrass him. He is probably already embarrassed plenty. And I am sure you are too. Just relax about it. Just my thoughts on it. I guess it's always a learning process.

Absolutely no need for anyone to 'talk to him' about it.
That includes car drives, getting a male to do it. No need.

He was in his room (therefore in private) so there is nothing else to talk about.

I'm a single mom of teenage boys. I'm very honest and up front with my kids, I asked my boys (they're a year apart so I had the discussion between the 3 of us) if that was something they had heard of or had done, at first they didn't answer I told them that it was normal behavior, nothing to be ashamed of, every man does it, and that it should be done in private. They admitted it, were happy to find out they were normal, and went out and mowed the lawn after.

After that conversation with mom, they had no issues asking me anything. If it's not something I can answer, I tell them that too.

Absolutely no need for anyone to 'talk to him' about it.
That includes car drives, getting a male to do it. No need.

He was in his room (therefore in private) so there is nothing else to talk about.

I don't think it needs to be a big event, but I don't think it's a bad idea for OP to be open with her son about sexuality, etc. I've always thought of the idea of "teachable moments" to be good ones - not like you sit down with your parents and they tell you about sex, but little discussions based on real life - commercials, advertising, things that happen in the news, etc. It doesn't have to be as awkward as it might seem, or go into much detail, but I think it's always nice when a children and parents feel comfortable enough with each other to discuss it to some extent.

Like I said, I'm not a male nor a parent, but if anything, her son should know that there is no shame or anything unnatural in what he's doing. I feel that not talking about it because it "might feel awkward" is a disservice to kids who then feel that they should be guilty or embarrassed, or ill-informed about sex.

ETA: I had my first period when I was nine years old, and I developed very early, right around that age. My parents were always too embarrassed/felt too awkward to really discuss what was happening to me, so it sort of made me feel like a freak. I feel that if I had a more open relationship with my parents regarding sexuality and puberty, it would have made the transition into "adulthood" a lot less scary and embarrasing to me than it wound up being.

mother 18 & 19 yo boys here... nothing to talk about, and ESPECIALLY not w/ mom! that's just about the right age, and perfectly normal. now, if he had a GIRL in there, that's a different story altogether! the only thing i would say is, if his siblings have a habit of entering unannounced, he needs to protect his privacy a little better -- for his sake and theirs. other than that, welcome to the teen years! good luck!!! (you're gonna need it!!)

Absolutely no need for anyone to 'talk to him' about it.
That includes car drives, getting a male to do it. No need.

He was in his room (therefore in private) so there is nothing else to talk about.

I don't think it needs to be a big event, but I don't think it's a bad idea for OP to be open with her son about sexuality, etc. I've always thought of the idea of "teachable moments" to be good ones - not like you sit down with your parents and they tell you about sex, but little discussions based on real life - commercials, advertising, things that happen in the news, etc. It doesn't have to be as awkward as it might seem, or go into much detail, but I think it's always nice when a children and parents feel comfortable enough with each other to discuss it to some extent.

Exactly, I think there should be some discussion. This allows the parents to clear up any misconceptions, myths, etc. Children get in trouble when they are misinformed or lack information and knowledge.

Ditto to the "no talk needed" comments. Nature will do it's thing. Just expect him to disappear a little more often, and be sure to make plenty of noise when approaching his room so there are no awkward encounters.

Almost felt like a moment on those american pie movies..

LOL!!

lol.. just remembered the pie moment.. lmbo.. okay i have to see this with humor.. Ill worry when he asks for a warn cherry pie.. lol ok ill stop..

glad you're able to look on it w/ humor :laugh:

Yes, talk to him. Tell him those feelings are normal, give him the sex talk if you haven't. I am no mom, but I live with an 8 year old, and a 12 year old brother. I'm 19 and my mom and dad is gone most of the time so I give them these talks. Just tell him those feelings and what he is doing is perfectly normal. It will be awkward, but you'll be glad it's done.

I have a 26 year old son and walked into the same thing. Obviously, he is interested in feeling pleasure and will seek it out, maybe even with a girl. If you don't talk about it, he may think of it as dirty. Sex isn't dirty and no one should see it that way. Since he is interested and curious, now is the time to talk about it. In its entirety.

Some tips:

1. Get pictures of male anatomy.
2. Explain how things work down there.
3. Explain the primary purpose of intercourse.
4. Explain that it is okay to please oneself, but clean up the mess. LOL Better yet, he isn't too young to do his own laundry, mom.
5. Explain about how girls get pregnant. In other words, intercourse and the fertilization of eggs to produce a baby.
6. Explain that it only takes one sperm.
7. Explain that there are diseases associated with sex. Reading material from a clinic can help in this department.
8. Explain your expectations. In my home, this included an agreement that my son would not have sex before the age of 17 and that when he did, he would use protection. Also, my son could not have sex under my roof when I was home. This was in recognition that if I wasn't home, I wouldn't know and I didn't want him to lie. Additionally, if a child was a product of his having intercourse with someone, he would assume responsibility and support that child.

The result of all that teaching is that my son is 26 years old, moved out early (he's in the military) has had sexual intercourse with a few girls, says he uses protection except with long-standing relationships, has never had a sexually transmitted disease, and no girl has gotten pregnant by him.

The alternative is ignorance, getting a sexually transmitted disease, getting a girl pregnant, and a whole lot more.

Hope this helps.

Just apologize and tell him you will knock next time. I'm sure he is probably just as mortified as you.

I have a 26 year old son and walked into the same thing. Obviously, he is interested in feeling pleasure and will seek it out, maybe even with a girl. If you don't talk about it, he may think of it as dirty. Sex isn't dirty and no one should she it that way. Since he is interested and curious, now is the time to talk about it. In its entirety.

Some tips:

1. Get pictures of male anatomy.
2. Explain how things work down there.
3. Explain the primary purpose of intercourse.
4. Explain that it is okay to please oneself, but clean up the mess. LOL Better yet, he isn't too young to do his own laundry, mom.
5. Explain about how girls get pregnant. In other words, intercourse and the fertilization of eggs to produce a baby.
6. Explain that it only takes one sperm.
7. Explain that there are diseases associated with sex. Reading material from a clinic can help in this department.
8. Explain your expectations. In my home, this included an agreement that my son would not have sex before the age of 17 and that when he did, he would use protection. Also, my son could not have sex under my roof when I was home. This was in recognition that if I wasn't home, I wouldn't know and I didn't want him to lie. Additionally, if a child was a product of his having intercourse with someone, he would assume responsibility and support that child.

The result of all that teaching is that my son is 26 years old, moved out early (he's in the military) has had sexual intercourse with a few girls, says he uses protection except with long-standing relationships, has never had a sexually transmitted disease, and no girl has gotten pregnant by him.

The alternative is ignorance, getting a sexually transmitted disease, getting a girl pregnant, and a whole lot more.

Hope this helps.

Agreed!