How great is your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend?

my husband is awesome but he does not know.i have lost 41 pounds since he deployed and have no plans on telling him until he gets home

Wow, you are all lucky to have found someone so great. Gives me hope that the one is out there somewhere. Mine has only made a comment about my weight once, but he likes bigger girls. It is all the other abuse that is hard. He is always eating things that he knows that I can't have infront of me. He buys fattening foods and expects me or anyone in the house to touch it. After he spends so much money on the junk I have no money left to buy healthy foods, so I go without eating. He complains that he never has anything to eat, but I go weeks with almost nothing...oh well, what do you do

:sad: I was thin when my husband and I got married, but I had loose skin from losing 130 pounds... our wedding night was the first time we had sex, so he'd never seen me naked. He wouldn't touch me at all to get me "warmed-up"... he just did what he needed to do, and told me I was repulsive. Even though I warned him before we got married, he said he never could have imagined how gross I really looked naked, and he felt deceived. So, needless to say, I got depressed- after my daughter was born, I just couldn't get the weight off and wound up even adding a few pounds. My husband told me on our 1 year wedding anniversary that I disgust him, and he never in a million years would've ever dated a fat girl, let alone marry one.

We've been married for almost 4 years now- 4 years next month actually. And while he's gotten better (we went through some counseling) about the way he communicates his frustration, he still won't touch my body when we have sex. A lot of his issues have their roots in his family and in the way he was raised to value appearance over everything else- they told him not to marry me because I used to be fat, and might have fat children (I don't by the way- my daughter is a bean pole!), and they didn't want fat grandchildren. They're truly awful people- example: my MIL refuses to quit smoking even though she gave herself throat cancer; she said she'd rather die thin from cancer than live to be old and fat (fine by me!!). But at least my husband has begun to recognize that and is trying to overcome that pitfall in himself. And no, I didn't know they had said that until after we were married. They're very deceitful people. And I didn't know my husband was going to be like that until after we said "I do." But we're getting better every day- and while many people would say he should be able to love me and accept me the way I am even if I don't lose this weight... at least he's honest with me. So many husbands would just say "it doesn't matter" and then ogle other women and cheat. And when the weight is gone this time, I'm getting the skin removed- for both of us. I hated looking like a deflated balloon too.

The only thing i could see wrong is if people have a inaccurate perception(including myself) of what the best/greatest is.
The way i see it, the theme on this board is they're on cloud 9 24/7 which i know isn't true.

Wow I am so impressed, no one has ever had any relationship problems, dang everyone seems so perfect. I wish i was perfect.

Wow I am so impressed, no one has ever had any relationship problems, dang everyone seems so perfect. I wish i was perfect.

Sorry you haven't had a good enough relationship to see that it's all in what you make of it.

3 years and we have had ups and downs but all in all, we have never had an argument. Why? Because we communicate what is really bothering us IF anything is, we know how to choose our battles and approach each other without the anger that causes a fight.

We have the same goals for our future with different paths to get there. We believe in each other and we love unconditionally.

He is flighty, he is messy, he can be cheap... in the end, he compromises and so do I. I accept him and his flaws and I love him for being human enough to have them.

Good Luck and I hope you find your left shoe one day, I truley feel like I have found mine. The best part is, we were always ourselves with each other, there was never a reason to "put the best foot forward" We jumped in feet first and kept eyes wide open. Trust but verify.