Closed Diary's
cmthorsness
Posts: 83 Member
in Chit-Chat
Is it just me? Do you wonder why people keep their diary's closed? I have had some just ignore me or some get pissed when I have asked them why?? Well why? I don't get why, we are here to support one another and people close out their diary and it says under calorie goal.... Why should anyone say good job if they cannot see it? Just wondering all, I find it frustrating.
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Replies
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Some people don't like other people commenting on what they are eating. Or if the have an eating disorder they don't want it public. At least those are the reasons I've heard.
Mine's open - look away! I never say good job to anyone with a closed diary - for all I know all you ate was 3 Cheetos and a celery stick.0 -
None of your business why.....if their diary is closed just don't comment on it.0
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Because some people don't want the support aspect of the site, they just want the tools.0
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Some people don't realise theirs is closed (this was me until recently)
Now it is open to my friends.
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If they are my friend, I tell them I don't like it because I can't keep them accountable for being healthy if I can't see what they are eating or how far under they ate (alot of people with ED's on here and I DON'T want to encourage that). And I'm not going to go around calling people out on what they ate, unless we are close MFPers. But if someone ate all fresh vegetables, lean meats, healthy stuff all day and are under, I am going to compliment their diary. If they ate all Mcdonalds and cheesecake, even if they stayed under goal I'm not going to compliment them. I think there is more to MFP than just staying UNDER your goal, although it is an important part.
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.0 -
Because nosy people are incredibly annoying and if I work at ____ and I eat there six times a week because it's free for me and I'm a broke college student and you don't like it, tough! :mad:
.. or at least, that was the actual reason and situation to why I closed mine down, haha :bigsmile:
Honestly, I'm on here for me, not on here for anyone else. I am honest with my calories and my intake and I am real with myself. I don't need or want unsolicited advice about that extra cupcake I indulged in.0 -
Honestly, I'm on here for me, not on here for anyone else. I am honest with my calories and my intake and I am real with myself. I don't need or want unsolicited advice about that extra cupcake I indulged in.
But...then why do you have MFP friends?:huh:0 -
Well we are here for ourselves first and foremost. Next we are here to be a supportive member of the MFP community if we so choose. So, if I have a few friends who are more comfortable keeping their diary private I will still occasionally tell them good job and it's for staying under. It's really a personal decision. Mines open for friends.0
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My diary has always been open. I don't eat perfectly 100% of the time. I'm not ashamed. My friends are always warm and supportive. I've yet to be shamed for anything in my diary. Sometimes a food item is a conversation starter. I think that's cool.
I could definitely imagine that if someone had health problems they might want to add details in the notes section about their symptoms, pain level, medications they're starting or changing, their mood, sleep and supplements. This way you could see if certain foods or meds caused problems or were helping you and do everything in one place. That's way TMI to share with someone you just met on the internet. I think that's a completely legitimate use of a food diary and excuse to limit access. No explanation required.0 -
I don't have mine open to be viewed. Part of it is because people are harsh and I don't yet know if I can trust people to be kind when commenting on what I eat, and part of it is because I truly don't want or feel a need for people to know. If I am under, why can't you say good job anyway? All because you don't know what I ate? That seems a bit harsh....that's probably why people don't open up about it. It's hard enough to admit to having a problem of being overweight and coming here to do something about it. I don't need people commenting and putting me down on anything I eat....I've had to deal with that my whole life. This is the place to change and start over. People commenting would just extremely discourage me from using mfp and I love it...I don't want to stop using it. I am big. I am not afraid to admit that anymore. I am finally doing something about it. And it's working. And that is all that matters to me. Not what someone ate to get to the loss they got to. I personally comment on every one of my friends. Open/closed...under/over. Putting in the effort EVERYDAY is a job well done in my eyes. It's so easy to not log when you "just don't want to like I feel on some days. Yet I continue to do it. That is success to me. In any way shape or form...I succeeded to making some sort of effort in trying today.0
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Maybe people don't know how to make their diarIES public. I am sure there may be good thoughts behind that. Maybe some are afraid of the criticism of others. For some people, food can be a very touchy subject. It took me a while to open my diary. I fall of the wagon from time to time, and am a little embarrassed by my choices. Regardless, we ought to be as supportive as we can in our MFP friends' journeys.0
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I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.If they are my friend, I tell them I don't like it because I can't keep them accountable for being healthy if I can't see what they are eating or how far under they ate (alot of people with ED's on here and I DON'T want to encourage that). And I'm not going to go around calling people out on what they ate, unless we are close MFPers. But if someone ate all fresh vegetables, lean meats, healthy stuff all day and are under, I am going to compliment their diary. If they ate all Mcdonalds and cheesecake, even if they stayed under goal I'm not going to compliment them. I think there is more to MFP than just staying UNDER your goal, although it is an important part.
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.
Honestly people shouldn't need YOU to keep them accountable for their food choices. They need to keep themselves accountable because they won't always have someone saying "you ate too many calories today, bad you!" Or "you need to eat more calories, bad you!" "you had pizza, nooO! mortal sin!" Or whatever needs to be said to "keep them accountable". I can definitely understand not wanting to encourage eating disorders, but other than that...no big deal.0 -
Maybe people don't know how to make their diarIES public. I am sure there may be good thoughts behind that. Maybe some are afraid of the criticism of others. For some people, food can be a very touchy subject. It took me a while to open my diary. I fall of the wagon from time to time, and am a little embarrassed by my choices. Regardless, we ought to be as supportive as we can in our MFP friends' journeys.
You're right. Food is an extremely touchy subject for some people. I am one. Thank you for posting this.0 -
For me I keep my diary closed because I feel its my private business. If I have a bad day food wise, I already don't feel too great about it myself and don't want someone commenting on it when they may or may not know anything beyond the fact that I ate something I technically shouldn't have [not that there might be other factors that caused me to back slide on said day]
I like having MFP friends who have similar amounts of weight to lose than me or who have lost massive amounts of weight and are already down if I have questions about something. When I stagnate or am curious about attempting a new exercise. I look to MFP friends if I have a question, if they have a question I might have the answer to.
For me using the food tracker is a private thing but I don't mind being very open about my workout regiment. So that's something I share with my MFP friends and ask questions about and compare notes with them on.
To me MFP is a community about sharing and exchanging information and just as in real life I don't broadcast all my private business, I just choose not to broadcast my entire diet regimne either. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to have an open/honest and hopefully helpful exchange with people here.
Everyone uses the site differently and what's comfortable for them. I think thats as it should be.0 -
I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.
It's kind of like saying: "even though we are married we don't need to have sex because holding hands should be enough."
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I have mine open to friends, and i have twice opened mine to public (sought advice in forums). I keep mine to my friends because I really don't want unsolicited advice from someone not on my friend's list. I don't eat perfectly, and am in the process of trying to get my husband to stop buying processed food altogether but that hasn't worked (and we can't afford two separate shopping lists) and I don't need people telling me what i know that i need to improve on. There are days that I am under (especially fairly recently) and I know that it isn't healthy, and so I am working on it. Point being, I understand that we are here to support each other, but as of right now, I am only comfortable with having my friends on my friends list comment on my diary, not the general public.0
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None of your business why.....if their diary is closed just don't comment on it.
:flowerforyou:0 -
There are trolls that attack people for their food choices without being prompted to do so. People lock their diaries to keep out the trolls.
Also, there are hypocrites that like to preach about how to eat, and can't be held accountable to their own preaching- those people close their diaries.0 -
Mine is closed because what I eat is my business and no one else's. I don't browse my MFP "friends" diaries because what they eat is none of my business. I comment on a weight loss post or an exercise post and that's it. Why does this bother people so much? This isn't the first thread I've seen on this subject and I am amazed at how some people seem to have nothing better to do than ***** about someone else's private food business. Please get over it and worry about yourself. If you don't like the closed diary, then remove that person from your friends list and move on.0
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I honestly don't understand why it bothers anyone. Everyone has different levels of privacy. I don't share my diary. I also would never put a picture of myself in a swimsuit on the internet. I'm not hiding anything. That's just me. I'm not going to NOT support someone because I can't go in and see everything they're eating. It's not really any of my business.0
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I kept mine closed for a long time. I used to have very disordered eating associated with crippling shame. Not everyone on MFP is nice. Or tactful. I've seen crazy stuff written on other people's diaries. I opened mine to friends when a friend asked me to. I was on MFP for more than a year before I felt comfortable with that. It's a process and it isn't the same for everyone.0
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because my diary is to keep me accountable. I am an adult I do not need someone looking at it telling me how bad I have been or how good I have been. I know myself.
Well that and I honestly do not track on here.... but when I was tracking on here, I kept it private then because its for me... if I needed someone to look at it I would make it available with a key or just to my friends.
Why does it really matter?0 -
I'm not looking for kudos on what I do/don't eat. I know when I've done well or poorly with my eating, and I don't want to deal with comments from people when I pull an all-nighter and thus eat something ridiculous. Or if I count cleaning as exercise when it involves sorting and moving several boxes of books for the library. It's a useful tool, since I'm in college and my school doesn't offer nutrition info for its board plan. I just don't need or want unsolicited comments, good or bad.0
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You are mistaken in your belief that everyone here is in need of support. Some of us just like using the tools available here.0
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If it bothers you then you could always restrict your friends to those who choose to keep their diaries open. I have a combination of friends with open and closed diaries. Doesn't matter to me either way what they choose, but I do find that the people who tend to lose the most weight are one with open diaries. These people get and give the best advice regarding ways to increase certain food groups or cut carbs or whatever.... They are receptive to and offer constructive criticism and its their openness that appears to make this experience more beneficial for their weight loss goals. I think everyone has to get comfortable with making the decision to stay private or not. When I first joined mine was private, but then I realized that in order to hold myself accountable...I needed others to help me be accountable as well. And that comes through the constructive criticism and encouragement of my Pals.0
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You are mistaken in your belief that everyone here is in need of support. Some of us just like using the tools available here.
Yup...that too!!!0 -
Maybe people don't know how to make their diarIES public. I am sure there may be good thoughts behind that. Maybe some are afraid of the criticism of others. For some people, food can be a very touchy subject. It took me a while to open my diary. I fall of the wagon from time to time, and am a little embarrassed by my choices. Regardless, we ought to be as supportive as we can in our MFP friends' journeys.
You're right. Food is an extremely touchy subject for some people. I am one. Thank you for posting this.
You are welcome. 0 -
I choose (in life and on the internet) who I share information with.
I choose not to share my eating habits with the world wide web.
No eating disorder, no weirdness, no excuses. Just what I choose to share.
I share my diary with my online friends, because I know we think similarly about things.
I don't need random strangers telling me I eat too much protein, or fiber, or that my macros aren't "right" (based on what MFP suggests).
I'm not looking for comments on what I eat. I know how to eat. And, I'm certainly not looking for comments from 45,000 people, 99% of whom know less about nutrition than I do. If someone wants to see my diary because they want to learn something, then perhaps I'll make them my friend.
I don't see what the big deal is.
If I posted a thread asking the world wide web about my calories, or macros, then sure. Otherwise, what's the big deal.
ps: I also don't have a "personal" photo. Again, I choose what to share.
I guess I don't get why closed diaries bother people.0 -
I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.If they are my friend, I tell them I don't like it because I can't keep them accountable for being healthy if I can't see what they are eating or how far under they ate (alot of people with ED's on here and I DON'T want to encourage that). And I'm not going to go around calling people out on what they ate, unless we are close MFPers. But if someone ate all fresh vegetables, lean meats, healthy stuff all day and are under, I am going to compliment their diary. If they ate all Mcdonalds and cheesecake, even if they stayed under goal I'm not going to compliment them. I think there is more to MFP than just staying UNDER your goal, although it is an important part.
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.
Honestly people shouldn't need YOU to keep them accountable for their food choices. They need to keep themselves accountable because they won't always have someone saying "you ate too many calories today, bad you!" Or "you need to eat more calories, bad you!" "you had pizza, nooO! mortal sin!" Or whatever needs to be said to "keep them accountable". I can definitely understand not wanting to encourage eating disorders, but other than that...no big deal.
You know what, I don't NEED the OP, or anyone else to keep me accountable for my food choices. That ain't the point. I DO welcome feedback, advice and suggestions. "have you tried this", or "this choice might have been better than X", or "I noticed your Potassium was a bit low. Maybe add in XXX?" It isn't about NEEDING someone to keep me accountable, or NEEDING someone to vindicate me. It's about knowing that some people (like jsapninz by the sound of it) are truely the type of MFP friends that are just cheerleaders (rah rah rah - you're under your calories - do a cartwheel!), but actual FRIENDS that are willing to take time to encourage, perhaps coach a little, and give advice and suggestions.
If you're not interested in sharing your diaries, that's perfectly fine. But please understand that you're missing out on one of the more subtle tools that MFP has to offer that also help to maximize the goals that we're all shooting for. That said, I'm not (yet anyway) to the point of unfriending people who don't share their diaries, but I can see why it's a bit frustrating.0 -
I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.
It's kind of like saying: "even though we are married we don't need to have sex because holding hands should be enough."
Um. No it's not.
I don't need anyone to be accountable for me, I'm adult enough to do that myself.
Also, your opinion of what is a 'good' diary day might differ from mine.
I have friends who choose not to have their diaries open, that's up to them and I find other ways of showing support.0
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