Closed Diary's
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My beef is with "friends" with closed diaries...I don't care how others keep their diaries.
Well then why not take it up with them on your own feed, instead of posting here?0 -
My beef is with "friends" with closed diaries...I don't care how others keep their diaries.
Ask them to open it, if they don't and it's that important to you delete them - Easy Peasy!!0 -
I would also like to say that most people don't need unsolicited advice about food that isn't coming from a nutritionist. That isn't supportive and doesn't help.0
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Mine is closed! reason why some jacka** thought they were better than me and was making nasty comments...so to the ones that ask to see it I have it locked with a key and they have the key.. why because they are supportive! Not everyone on this site is supportive
See, this is just wrong. I'm all for being supportive and honest. ANYONE who makes poor comments on your diary when it's open (honesty and being just plain mean are different) does NOT deserve to be on your friends list. I'm one of those that if you can't handle the cold hard truth about your diet, then you probably shouldn't add me as a friend. :-) No one is perfect and as long as everyone puts their goals and explains what they eat out in the open, I'm all about respecting that. It's the ones who post workouts, complain about it not working, but have closed diaries that you can't help them determine if it's their diet OR their workouts. You don't go to the doctor and provide 50% of your information in order to be diagnosed. Just doesn't work that way. This is strictly my opinion; to each their own.
I understand where you are coming from I do have it available for those who ask...I want to open it but the criticism and hateful comments is what got me here in the first place With it being open to everyone there is a risk that one of my "friends" will say something that will derail me and that isnt hard to do I use this site to help teach myself the tools and knowledge I need to continue this journey for the rest of my life instead of just a "diet". So if I under eat one day and overeat the next I don't want all those comments...I need to hold myself accountable first then when i feel I am ready to move to the next step and accept criticism then I will. 0 -
I really should save my responses to these "closed diary" threads.
Why do people care whether others have open or closed diaries? It seems a bit controlling.
Some reasons people don't open their diaries:
*It is the Internet - you get very strange people commenting on something personal. Who wants a troll sending PMs about that piece of cake you had?
*You are embarrassed.
*You've had issues with eating disorders and the idea of others commenting on your food choices is unbearable.
*Why on earth would you take the advice of some random MFP person on your nutrition? Are they a nutritionist/dietician/doctor?
*You don't owe it to anyone.
*You don't need someone's opinion on being over calories one day - you know what you are doing and not doing. Plus, a food diary doesn't convey all the info: diabetes, food allergies, food intolerances, pregnancy, breast feeding, saving calories to go to a party, carbo loading before a big race, on and on!
*People on MFP have various ideas about nutrition (cleanses, no carbs, high protein, low cal, low fat, high fat, eat more, primal, clean, everything in moderation, on and on). Which would you listen to?
*Open diary is NOT the whole point of MFP. That's why it is an option.
*You are a stellar cook and don't need shopping or recipe ideas from others.
*You tried opening your diary and the inappropriate comments from people who don't understand boundaries or etiquette or nutrition sent you over the edge.
*Your mom/sister/cousin/coworker/best friend/spouse is on MFP and you don't really want her/him reading your food diary.
*Food is personal to you.
*You are a grown adult and don't need someone policing your intake.
*You don't wanna.
^^^^^^Like This^^^^^^^^0 -
I have a whole host of reasons for keeping mine private, but here's one. If you're noticeably obese, you're used to having your eating scrutinised by others (in real life), and it isn't helpful. I don't want to bring that stress over here.0
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Getting fit is not about knowing what everyone eats its about encouragement, accountability not judgement and I find the biggest turn offs for me in this site is when a person has good intentions about their diary and only eats say 1400 calories we immediately attack that person for not eating enough etc. Then that person goes and exercises more and then we say your exercising more and not eating enough... This is why closed diaries are becoming more popular and I agree its nobodies business what I eat or what my buddies eat. Of course suggestions are always welcome but please leave the flaming of others and their diaries alone!0
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Aww!I've been put down my whole life about my eating habits, even when I was walking/jogging 15+ miles a day to work and working as a groom/exercise rider at one of my jobs. I needed calories then and was broke as all hell so I ate what I could get. I usually eat reasonably healthy. However my mother and others feel I eat like a hog because I am not yet stick thin and they think I need to seriously restrict my calories till I get there. This coming from my mother who was 5'11'' and 100 pounds.
So yes I have personal issues letting people know how much and what I am eating, because everything feels like like crap.
Its ok, its a "its me not you" sort of thing. I feel bad because most people here like the support. But I just cant do it.0 -
I have a whole host of reasons for keeping mine private, but here's one. If you're noticeably obese, you're used to having your eating scrutinised by others (in real life), and it isn't helpful. I don't want to bring that stress over here.
Not just the obese, I've always been the "bony" one and I've been scrutinized as well. Never mind I have a sucky hip to waist ratio and had cholesterol through the roof....being thin doesn't mean one is healthy. So I can relate to that.0 -
This is so silly. I feel like the ones who MUST read other diaries are nosy AND want to feel better than other people. My friends do not know what type of foods I eat. They get reports when I am under my calories, they get reports when I exercise and when I have lost weight. Plenty of circumstances to congratulate me on.
I have an eating disorder. BED, actually been diagnosed and in treatment twice so far. It is important for me to be honest with my self at ALL times and if one...just ONE person made a passing comment...well for someone with an ED is detrimental and can lead to suicidal thoughts etc.
FFS. Don't like my choice to not allow you to have a nosy around? Don't add me. Its not rocket science now is it?0 -
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.
So do you ask your friends outside of MFP to tell you everything that they ate that day and then end the friendship if they refuse to tell you?0 -
THIS
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.
So do you ask your friends outside of MFP to tell you everything that they ate that day and then end the friendship if they refuse to tell you?
I'm baffled that it's considered a "significant secret".
ps: I don't post my bowel movements either.:happy:0 -
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.
So do you ask your friends outside of MFP to tell you everything that they ate that day and then end the friendship if they refuse to tell you?
^^^^THIS^^^^0 -
Only my friends can see my diary, I see no reason to show it because most entries are in icelandic so people won´t understand it anyway.0
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THIS
If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .
If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.
If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.
So do you ask your friends outside of MFP to tell you everything that they ate that day and then end the friendship if they refuse to tell you?
I'm baffled that it's considered a "significant secret".
ps: I don't post my bowel movements either.:happy:
You don't :noway:
That is a significant secret you are keeping from your friends... you should start posting them!0 -
who gives a **** seriously!!!!0
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I think you need a life.
Also, learn to spell.0 -
People are entitled to their privacy.0
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I think you need a life.
Also, learn to spell.
reel tawk!
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Right now, I closed my diary because I am taking a break from food logging and calorie restriction. I am trying to maintain a 29 lb. weight loss until July 1st, when I plan to hit the next goal--28 lb (hopefully before Jan 1, 2013).
I appreciate that most of my friends have open diaries. I am vegetarian all the time, and vegan most of the time. Many of my friends are the same or hardcore vegan. When I read their diaries, I mine them for ideas. As a consequence, I have many new favorite foods which I probably wouldn't have tried otherwise.
One thing I have found embarrassing about having an open diary is that my menu tends to be repetitive day after day. I wonder if my friends who read it suffer total boredom or wonder why I don't expand my repertoire. Eventually in July, I will go back to opening my diary to my friends, but I think I will remove the automatic notification when I conclude the day. The longer I do MFP, the more I enjoy other aspects of encouragement, support and getting to know people here. This isn't to say I don't enjoy encouraging comments or questions about my food diary. I love talking about food and recipes. But, since everyone has limited time, I would rather read a funny status, or something thoughtful, than have the cheers.0 -
Not everyone is you, people are different and have different ideas of why they are here and what kind of support they need. You don't need to understand why my diary is private, it is none of your business. What is the point of these anti-private diary posts, if you don't like it then you decide if you want people with private diaries on your friends list or not. we don't care.0
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Sometimes i'll close my diary if i had a bad day (rather that than not log like some do). I guess after a while you begin to care what others think...even MFPers you dont know0
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I don't understand why it matters what other people do. Do you, and get in where you fit in! :glasses:0
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This is why friends need to remain more open about what they are doing. Because everyone is here for a reason. Everyone looks for people with similar goals when they send out friend requests. If you don't like someone who is nosy by all means delete that person. But if someone is starving himself /herself and has a closed diary how would you know about it?
I don't keep friends very long if I know they are starving themselves and they don't try to change it. But It isn't my business to pry into their lives to find out. Most of my friends on here have the same goal as me and are looking to build muscle and therefore eat that way. The others have their right to their privacy. I am still going to offer any encouragement I can and just assume they are doing what they should be doing. I don't go aorund commenting on people's diaries whether open or not with stuff like ''way to go'' etc.
Would you still offer your support knowing that person is starving himself/herself to death?? Or you would rather not know?Because some of us don't care what other people's opinion on what we eat are... I use the diary for my logging purposes to make sure I am hitting my macros and keeping track of my calories. I know what I should be eating and can keep myself accountable. Mine is open but I have had it closed in the past just for the fact that I don't particularly like people commenting on crap like my water intake (I don't log it), or unrelevant stuff like how I should just eat the Whites of eggs. It's not anybody's darn business what I choose to eat. :P
This site is for logging and motivation/support. I can get and offer support and motivation without having to know what somebody is eating. Why would you need to look through my diary before offering support or encouragement? Looking to critique it? Thats not exactly the best kind of support..
I rarely even look at the diaries of my friends because I'm here to offer support and encouragement when they need it not to offer suggestions on their diet unless they asked for it. =/
Would you still offer your support knowing that person is starving himself/herself to death?? Or you would rather not know?
Why is it so important for others to HAVE to see their friend's diaries? I don't understand that. Making comments on somebody's eating habits or knowing what they are eating is not the only form of support you can offer. If that was the only kind of friends I had on here, I certainly would never use this site again outside of logging.0 -
When you are friends with people you expect them to be more open with each other as we are all here looking for support and motivation. If we just wanted to count our calories,we can do it on a regular diary and not be here. The reason we haven't been able to do it this long,is because we lacked motivation or support from people we interact with in our daily lives. But here on this forum we find people with the same goals and motivation as ours and that surely helps.And when you want to motivate your friends here you want to make sure that they are not starving themselves or living on ridiculously low calories (under 500 cals). I am never judgmental. I can't afford to be. That would be like a pot calling the kettle black! :PI don't understand why it matters what other people do. Do you, and get in where you fit in! :glasses:0 -
Diary ahhhhhhh0
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Mine is closed because I would get people sending me messages saying I should be replacing x with y, or not eat white bread, or "cereal bars are junk" etc. I couldn't be doing with it. My weight loss is successful, and I seem to have the balance right for myself. I need support with my exercise, but my diet is something I don't want comments on.0
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Does it really matter????? As long as they are staying under,loosing weight and exercising I am game:)
I figure what works for them might not work for me or I might not like what they eat...lol...0 -
What business do you have butting in like that? This is an open forum and I have as much right expressing an opinion as you!My beef is with "friends" with closed diaries...I don't care how others keep their diaries.
Well then why not take it up with them on your own feed, instead of posting here?0 -
Mine is open, but then people were *****ing at me for my alcohol intake when I posted about being tired from work, so I can understand closed diaries now.0
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