Closed Diary's

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  • cmthorsness
    cmthorsness Posts: 83 Member
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    I was talking about amoungst friends not to the public and yes mine is open!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I was talking about amoungst friends not to the public and yes mine is open!
    Is it just me? Do you wonder why people keep their diary's closed? I have had some just ignore me or some get pissed when I have asked them why?? Well why? I don't get why, we are here to support one another and people close out their diary and it says under calorie goal.... Why should anyone say good job if they cannot see it? Just wondering all, I find it frustrating.
    ok If you say so.
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,307
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    Mine is closed but I think I might be opening it up soon...This is because before I had never looked at other diaries and this past week I have. Also, a couple of the ones I looked at were under 1200 net cals, and no I didn't comment on this as it is their choice to eat this amount.
  • DestroyTheOpposition
    DestroyTheOpposition Posts: 444 Member
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    Is it just me? Do you wonder why people keep their diary's closed? I have had some just ignore me or some get pissed when I have asked them why?? Well why? I don't get why, we are here to support one another and people close out their diary and it says under calorie goal.... Why should anyone say good job if they cannot see it? Just wondering all, I find it frustrating.

    completely agree with you. In my mind... you're either all in... or not at all.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    I understand some people want to keep it private... some just don't want the critic others just don't want you to see the eating to calorie burnt ratio... commenting on a non viewable diary though is just not something to do... there is an options to have that not say when you complete your diary, they should just check that as well, just saying...
  • cmthorsness
    cmthorsness Posts: 83 Member
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    Mine was closed for a little while because I had no idea that it was private. Once I realised I changed it.

    I imagine there are a lot of reasons someone might choose to keep their diary private so I won't extend a comment on what someone else is doing but I know that it helps me to keep mine public.

    1. I am working really hard to find a balance between the fat kid who ballooned up to 200lbs and the other part of me who has lost 22lbs - I am proud of my diary - the good, the bad and the ugly.

    2. I eat it - I own it. I know some people who stop logging once they go over - that simply doesn't work for me. I don't care if I am over by 25 calories or 2500 - if I eat something, I add it.

    3. By no means do I stalk other peoples entries but I do check them out when I feel like it. Lots of times I see things that I like and want to replicate in my own food choices and occasionally I see things I know I should shy away from. Almost all of my friends have theirs open and I have never seen anyone rip someone a new one over a bad choice. My group of friends is my portion of the greater community and we all hold eachother accountable but are supportive and respectful - and I wouldn't want it any other way.

    4. I feel that if I had my diary closed it would be easier for me to eat crap food because I know no one could see it. As long as I stayed under my calorie goal - no one would be the wiser. That doesn't fly with me! I am still learning how to be a healthy person and I don't need any opportunity for my inner fat kid to sneak in and take over.


    I agree
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    Is it just me? Do you wonder why people keep their entire profiles closed? I have had some just ignore me or some get pissed when I have asked them why? Well why? I don't get why, we are here to support one another and people close out their entire profile. Why should anyone want to be friends if they cannot see it? Just wondering all, I find it frustrating.

    Ironic, isn't it?

    I don't want people to search through my trash cans out by the curb to see what I eat. It's an invasion of privacy to me.

    On another note: if a food diary is keeping a person from being friends or commenting on one's thread, that's pretty thin. Real thin!!!!
  • wlaurel
    wlaurel Posts: 43
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    I keep it closed because sometimes I only eat half my dinner so I can eat candy later without going over my calories. I don't like being judged for this :)
  • chelsa1986
    chelsa1986 Posts: 71
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    I think it's a huge over reaction to get "pissed" because someone's diary is closed. I don't care either way.
  • chelsa1986
    chelsa1986 Posts: 71
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    I keep it closed because sometimes I only eat half my dinner so I can eat candy later without going over my calories. I don't like being judged for this :)

    Exactly, "sometimes" you make that decision. That is yours to make!
  • Drenched_N_Motivation
    Drenched_N_Motivation Posts: 1,004 Member
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    I never realized mine was closed til today, so I opened it for all to see...cuz really, who gives a *kitten*?
  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
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    People are at different places in their health/fitness journeys; some people need/want the support that involves their MFP pals looking at/commenting on their food logs, and some people don't. Neither way is "right" - it's a personal decision. If you only want to be MFP friends with people who want to keep their diaries open, then that's certainly your right. But just remember that you're excluding plenty of potentially great MFP friends. There are tons of ways to be supportive without analyzing someone's diary and giving feedback on it.
  • hobbesgrrr
    hobbesgrrr Posts: 9
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    I am new to this site and new to being diabetic. I keep my diary closed because I don't feel it is anyones business what I am eating. I use the site to track my own food and carbs/protein. I also use the note section for personal notes to myself regaurding health issues or food and I don't want that public. I use the messae boards on here to get more info and if I ask a question that realates to food then I would talk about that food or how I am eating it, but for the most part I am just here for me and using it as a motivator to eat healthy and to keep a diary for when I see a nutritrionist. I don't think an open or closed diary matters much in the grand scheme of things, I guess it depends on how you want to use the site.
  • theladyy
    theladyy Posts: 176
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    I tried the friends thing and having an open diary when I first joined...and I seriously don't get why people need it. I just deleted everyone and made my profile/diary private. All you get is "good job, good walk, good workout" yadda yadda yadda, and it's all fake 'support' here, especially in the success stories part. I mean, really, how many pages of people telling you 'you look good' do you need? You know most of them barely glance at the pictures. Based off how many replies it takes before someone mentions it on threads featuring Photoshoped after pictures (one of the SAME EXACT PICTURE), I'd say a lot don't look at all.

    I don't get why people think this is support, or why they need it? I'm not here to eat healthy, I will never eat healthy, and I don't need someone calling me out on it because they think they're better than me. I'll eat my 1500-1800 calories a day however the f**** I want to, and it's no one elses business. Besides, I don't need to sit here every night going through peoples diaries, if you feel the need to, then go ahead, and if you have friends with closed ones, then just delete them. I don't feel the need to say 'good job' to people 50 times a day because I don't give a s**** about them or what they do. I come here to log food and exercise, and be a b***** in the forums. :smile:

    And seriously..."it's like sex with your partner", "you're either all in or not at all", "closed diaries = gaining weight" ..........wow.
    So do you ask your friends outside of MFP to tell you everything that they ate that day and then end the friendship if they refuse to tell you?

    I love this, so much. :heart:
  • LadyBug56711
    LadyBug56711 Posts: 14
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    How do you know if it closed, just asking I'm on here trying to get friends.
  • Susabelle64
    Susabelle64 Posts: 207 Member
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    I guess I just dont understand why someone else's diary really matters to you personally. I keep mine closed because honestly I dont need unsolicited advice. If I need help on my diet, I will open it and ask for input realizing I will get every comment under the sun. But more realistically I will ask a nutritionist or dietitian. You have the religious clean eaters, the low carbers, the super low cal people, the eat more people, paleo, on and on and on....... Everyone is an expert. I eat real butter, I eat real cheese and whole milk, once a week a get a milkshake from McDonalds, I eat at Wendy's from time to time, granted it is the salad, but whatever. I eat in a way I can maintain for the rest of my life, I log so I can evaluate my diet and workouts, not so others can keep me accountable. The way I see it, if you need to open your diary so others can keep you accountable, then do it but dont expect others to need or want the same from MFP. I like to have friends on here, I love to see their weight loss progress, I like to encourage them to a new and healthier lifestyle but that doesnt mean I need to criticize their choices. And yes, someone commenting that I could conserve calories by using trim cottage cheese instead of the full fat version is a pain....We are all adults here, I personally dont need someone else kicking my butt, I'm pretty good at that myself, but if there is a time I do need it, I will call my Dad.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    I tried the friends thing and having an open diary when I first joined...and I seriously don't get why people need it. I just deleted everyone and made my profile/diary private. All you get is "good job, good walk, good workout" yadda yadda yadda, and it's all fake 'support' here, especially in the success stories part. I mean, really, how many pages of people telling you 'you look good' do you need? You know most of them barely glance at the pictures. Based off how many replies it takes before someone mentions it on threads featuring Photoshoped after pictures (one of the SAME EXACT PICTURE), I'd say a lot don't look at all.

    I don't get why people think this is support, or why they need it? I'm not here to eat healthy, I will never eat healthy, and I don't need someone calling me out on it because they think they're better than me. I'll eat my 1500-1800 calories a day however the f**** I want to, and it's no one elses business. Besides, I don't need to sit here every night going through peoples diaries, if you feel the need to, then go ahead, and if you have friends with closed ones, then just delete them. I don't feel the need to say 'good job' to people 50 times a day because I don't give a s**** about them or what they do. I come here to log food and exercise, and be a b***** in the forums. :smile:

    And seriously..."it's like sex with your partner", "you're either all in or not at all", "closed diaries = gaining weight" ..........wow.
    So do you ask your friends outside of MFP to tell you everything that they ate that day and then end the friendship if they refuse to tell you?

    I love this, so much. :heart:

    Tell us how you really feel --- :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • cmthorsness
    cmthorsness Posts: 83 Member
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    Well closed diaries hasn't kept me from defriending anyone or not excepting anyone. Why does everyone think when your diary is open people only judge you for the negative? it can be used as a tool. I write my foods in the food notes and some of us share recipes that way. I track good and bad... I love beer and I am not afraid to log it!! I am on this site to lose weight and get healthy and me logging my foods for the world (friends) to see helps me feel accountable... Its not all negative and no one should ever feel or be attacked because of their food choices. It was just a QUESTION!! Not meant for people to get ****TY! OR attack one another!!!
  • cmthorsness
    cmthorsness Posts: 83 Member
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    Some people just like to pick on others just like the mispelling comments. Good enough, I am here to support my friends and work on myself and if it makes you feel better inside to laugh at and put me down go for it.. :flowerforyou:
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Is it just me? Do you wonder why people keep their diary's closed? I have had some just ignore me or some get pissed when I have asked them why?? Well why? I don't get why, we are here to support one another and people close out their diary and it says under calorie goal.... Why should anyone say good job if they cannot see it? Just wondering all, I find it frustrating.

    For some people, it's not "just food"; a lot of people have ended up here through eating issues - whether full blown eating disorders, or other milder struggles with food. Scrutiny of what you are eating every day is a big problem for some people. I have my diary open for friends - sometimes. At times, I find that I can be more honest and more relaxed about my food choices when I'm not thinking about what other people might think.

    Some people just don't need support, encouragement or criticism based on their diaries. The way I eat works for me. I don't need praise for it. At the same time, my diet is far from perfect and I'm sure people could see ways to improve it and helpful suggestions to make. I'm just not looking for that. If I need help or advice, I'll ask my friends, or I'll ask on the forums.

    You say no one should feel attacked because of their food choices, but unfortunately a lot of people do if they have open diaries and then get people giving unsolicited criticism or advice. I get that some people like the support when they have completed their diary and people compliment them on being under-goal, or having lots of "healthy" choices. That's just not what I'm here for though.

    I'm sorry you feel attacked on this thread, but hopefully, you're getting a better idea of why people have closed diaries. It's really not something worth getting annoyed about. Love that quote: "I'll do me, and you do you". Try to let it go! :flowerforyou:

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