anyone else have a spouse who.....

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  • beije24
    beije24 Posts: 23 Member
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    delete her stuff then it will be WAR!!! But really ive come to find that those that are constanly accusing are usually guilty of something

    This. Seriously delete her facebook. And then be sure to post all the details here. I'd love to know more.

    This may work if they were just dating, but not when married. Bad advice!

    That is bad advice!!!
    This is all social networking and yes this is to help lose, gain, maintain weight but everyone has a jealous side. I occasionally FB stalk my hubbys page but its all in good fun...well curiosity.
    Stay positive and don't Piss her off. Keep a close net of supporters on here...its not a popularity contest.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Maybe I am missing something but he never even mentioned her and face book... maybe she doesn't even have one?? Leave the poor guy be!

    Post right after yours. His wife has a Facebook account of nearly 400 people, mostly male.
  • momshorses
    momshorses Posts: 376 Member
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    Awesome advice!!!
    :happy:
    Her response is a symptom of a much larger issue. . .this coming from a previously SUPER insecure wife. What I suggest you consider is asking her why she's insecure about your on line conversations; consider what she tells you and think if you could have stepped across any lines; let her know that you're sorry to have hurt her feelings; then let her know that the support you get on here means a lot to you. See if there is some way you can negotiate a solution where you can have social interaction, but in a range that doesn't make your wife feel threatened.

    And, if you truly have an issue with her Facebook. . .get to the bottom of that one, too.

    My husband and I have all the passwords to all our email/social networks, etc. It makes for instant accountability because i do NOT want him to feel threatened by anything. And, for us, our relationship is #1 our social networks are easily and readily droppable in the event the accounts become a problem. I'd give up 1000 facebook friends (I only have like 250) before I'd see my hubby anxious about anything!!

    Good luck on the relationship issue AND with your continued journey toward fitness!!!
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
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    If there are children involved in this then you do what you need to do to keep your family together. Period.

    Barring that there has been infidelity to give her just cause...

    She could either find a way to live with it or find the door. I don't go for this whole poor woman with her hurt feelings and insecurities crap. Eff that. She could get involved too. Have her own MFP account and walk this with you. When things are on point like that it wouldn't matter that you got a compliment. She'd feel like it was a compliment to her too. Why do we have to tiptoe around people's issues? Everyone has limitations but that doesn't mean my life has to contort to fit someone else's reality. We can be loved, and loving, through our limitations. It doesn't mean we get to make others miserable in the process.
  • beije24
    beije24 Posts: 23 Member
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    Awesome advice!!!
    :happy:
    Her response is a symptom of a much larger issue. . .this coming from a previously SUPER insecure wife. What I suggest you consider is asking her why she's insecure about your on line conversations; consider what she tells you and think if you could have stepped across any lines; let her know that you're sorry to have hurt her feelings; then let her know that the support you get on here means a lot to you. See if there is some way you can negotiate a solution where you can have social interaction, but in a range that doesn't make your wife feel threatened.

    And, if you truly have an issue with her Facebook. . .get to the bottom of that one, too.

    My husband and I have all the passwords to all our email/social networks, etc. It makes for instant accountability because i do NOT want him to feel threatened by anything. And, for us, our relationship is #1 our social networks are easily and readily droppable in the event the accounts become a problem. I'd give up 1000 facebook friends (I only have like 250) before I'd see my hubby anxious about anything!!

    Good luck on the relationship issue AND with your continued journey toward fitness!!!
    Great advice!!! Every few months I go through my FB friends and ween out the ppl that aren't friends. Suggest that to your wife and possibly do the same yourself.
    Hubby and I tried the whole sharing account info...everyone needs space and "privacy". If that's the case, delete your individual pages and get a combined page.
  • lovedtorun
    lovedtorun Posts: 75
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    Wow thats nuts... if she only new the truth about MFP. EVERYONE of us is here to encourage people to be healthier... so you can be sexier for her!!! Try telling her that! Not that it will work since she is insecure about something.... Ask her to join MFP and see the results for herself... maybe then she will realize the benfits from it and be happy for you and herself
  • Un_desirable
    Un_desirable Posts: 4
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    Here"s the deal....

    She had been monitoring my MFP account for days...
    Once she confronted and told me that she was angry about the flirting ( add smileys) etc I immediately told her this wasn't worth it to me so immdiately deactivated my account. I then made a new account that I use to only log in and add my calories and exercise.

    She is a high profile person at her place of employment and does NOT lack for confidence....she is working on her body using MFP and in fact I wrote to a friend how proud of her I was of her progress....

    I got an earful thanks to Black Thong Thursday and Booby Friday....Like I was the perv who invented it....?/

    I am proud of EVERY man or woman on this site who Tracks daily...has had a success and shared it....who is an inspiration to myself and others...when I'm on my runs now and I feel like I have legs of Jello I get an energy burst thinking about how I am going to feel when I post a ran 50 minutes at 6.0 and burned 800 calories....that inspires me to continue this journey....that inspires me to want to help others on this site who are frustrated with the scale and need to know that NSV's count just as much if not more..

    Thats as real as I can be!! This site was helping me connect with others who can help me....and I can also help!!
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    Maybe I am missing something but he never even mentioned her and face book... maybe she doesn't even have one?? Leave the poor guy be!

    Post right after yours. His wife has a Facebook account of nearly 400 people, mostly male.

    Yeah, I missed that. Now I find it hypocritical, but I still think there are other issues going on. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and trying not to add fuel to the fire!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Here"s the deal....

    She had been monitoring my MFP account for days...
    Once she confronted and told me that she was angry about the flirting ( add smileys) etc I immediately told her this wasn't worth it to me so immdiately deactivated my account. I then made a new account that I use to only log in and add my calories and exercise.

    She is a high profile person at her place of employment and does NOT lack for confidence....she is working on her body using MFP and in fact I wrote to a friend how proud of her I was of her progress....

    I got an earful thanks to Black Thong Thursday and Booby Friday....Like I was the perv who invented it....?/

    I am proud of EVERY man or woman on this site who Tracks daily...has had a success and shared it....who is an inspiration to myself and others...when I'm on my runs now and I feel like I have legs of Jello I get an energy burst thinking about how I am going to feel when I post a ran 50 minutes at 6.0 and burned 800 calories....that inspires me to continue this journey....that inspires me to want to help others on this site who are frustrated with the scale and need to know that NSV's count just as much if not more..

    Thats as real as I can be!! This site was helping me connect with others who can help me....and I can also help!!

    Whoa whoa whoa..she's on MFP too? But she deleted your account? And you don't think she'll see this?

    This gets better and better. Pass the popcorn, I wanna see how this one turns out.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    So she was upset about your use of MFP, you apologized and said you'd delete. You did and then started a new account you didn't tell her about...

    Listen brother I want to root for you here, I really do. But that's a rookie mistake right there and you hate to see that sort of thing.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Whoa whoa whoa..she's on MFP too? But she deleted your account? And you don't think she'll see this?
    No. He's "pretending" MFP isn't worth upsetting her, so he deactivated that one then created this one behind her back. Now he's seeking out pity from people because he has a mean, controlling wife. [/quote]
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    I got an earful thanks to Black Thong Thursday and Booby Friday....Like I was the perv who invented it
    I don't think I'd appreciate my husband going into a "Black Thong Thursday" or "Booby Friday" thread. Not sure what your replies were there, but something upset her. Now you're creating a new profile "just for counting calories", but you made this public announcement???? Maybe there are reasons she doesn't trust you.....
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
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    I feel like there is probably more to this story.

    If not, OP should delete her *kitten* too.
  • Un_desirable
    Un_desirable Posts: 4
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    No *kitten*....I delete the account with the friends....i made this account to log my calories and exercise....not to make friends...or accept requests....so don't...i'm not looking for any sympatht from anytone...I just asked a question if anyone else had a similar experience....

    again,
    '
    this screen name is JUST to LOG.....no friends....no drama...just to keep my momentum going.....or I could join weight watchers and sit through meeting where people ask.....if I eat 10 carrots do they count the same as eating a bag of carrots.....ummmm your not at weight watchers because you are eating too many ****in carrots!!!!!!!

    wtf!!
  • amygaycheme
    amygaycheme Posts: 26
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    this too shall pass.....have her log on with you...put a profile pic of the two of you on here. get some friends back...but ask her what she thinks of them first.
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
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    Whoa whoa whoa..she's on MFP too? But she deleted your account? And you don't think she'll see this?

    This gets better and better. Pass the popcorn, I wanna see how this one turns out.

    IKR? This is like a telenovela.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    Unless the emails and messages were inappropriate then I don't see the problem.
    However it is easy to cross lines on site with so many attractive people working towards the same goal.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    this screen name is JUST to LOG.....no friends....no drama...just to keep my momentum going.....
    You're introducing yourself in the public forum. You say it's "JUST TO LOG", but you're not JUST logging. You do realize that, right?
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
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    Hi,

    I was on MFP daily and loved the interaction, the inspiring stories, the positive reinforcement I received from my FL and others. Then the spouse went into my account and accused me of flirting , cheating and lying because I PM females on this site.

    Now I have no friends...and only log on to log my exercise and calories....i feel like I lost a part of me as well as my MFP friends. I wasn't on here to do anything that would jeopardize my marriage but it looks like I have....and for that I'm sad!!

    I female friend told me in a PM that I looked amazing and had a great physique....it was positive reinforcement...I replied Thank you....you made my day....!!!

    now I'm in solitary confinement and I have a new screen name!!

    I miss you all!!!!

    Because coming here and complaining about what happened will make her more open to the idea of you using MFP for support and friendly interaction, right? :huh:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    No *kitten*....I delete the account with the friends....i made this account to log my calories and exercise....not to make friends...or accept requests....so don't...i'm not looking for any sympatht from anytone...I just asked a question if anyone else had a similar experience....

    again,
    '
    this screen name is JUST to LOG.....no friends....no drama...just to keep my momentum going.....or I could join weight watchers and sit through meeting where people ask.....if I eat 10 carrots do they count the same as eating a bag of carrots.....ummmm your not at weight watchers because you are eating too many ****in carrots!!!!!!!

    wtf!!

    *kitten*??

    Bad move. I'm gonna go find your wife now.

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