anyone else have a spouse who.....
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you mean like her facebook account where she has 400+ friends a majority of them being men and her nose is buried in it ....during dinner.....vacations....sitting on couch watching television??
yeah...NO!!!
If this is the case, then it sounds like she's justifying her ignoring you for Facebook by going into your MFP account and accusing you of flirting. If you do value your marriage, it sounds like you two need to sit down and have a serious talk and possibly counseling.0 -
the account is deactivated....wth?
Such a shame. The man really needed the support of Black Thong Thursday. When will you horrible women understand?
:bigsmile: 0 -
Ask for a compromise. Allow yourself MFP friends but also allow her to see the interactions between yourself and MFP. So there won't be any secrets anymore!0
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Although it is sad you can't interact anymore, I can see why your wife reacted the way she did. You should have been more open with it, and let her know what the messages were saying before she had to 'find' them. Maybe she will come around eventually, though. If the messages truly were innocent (from what you typed it seemed so..) then I am truly sorry for you! What may be innocent may not always appear that way, especially since what was said in the messages was never discussed with your wife before she had to read them herself.0
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Trust is the biggest factor in jealousy. It sounds like your spouse is dealing with some major insecurities and is questioning your interactions on here because they've lost some trust.
I'm not a very jealous girlfriend, but I've been cheated on in previous relationships so sometimes it's as simple as being clear with your SO about what type of interaction bothers them, figure out why, and either curtail those actions or find a way to reach an understanding about what those interactions mean to you so she is crystal clear and secure in your dedication and loyalty.
I have a mixed bag of friends on here... I don't know if my SO would think I got flirty with any of the guys, but I hope he realizes I get on here to support myself and getting some pats on the back is just a participation medal to keep me going. I don't want to constantly ask my fb friends for encouragement in my weight loss journey, and I don't want to constantly bug him for it either. I'd like to think that he knows where my loyalties lie, and that in reality land I only have eyes for him.0 -
and she has the right to do this to you??? How??
You have a commitment to your relationship and a commitment to yourself! If she is that insecure then it is her problem not yours. If you have a clear conscience then do what you want! Enough of others steam rolling you into submission!0 -
the account is deactivated....wth?
Bahaha. Apparently, he didn't like the lack of support he was receiving.
Ha ha ha!!! He probably deactivated after he realized that his wife could see his post and actually read it. She would probably figure out it was him just by reading. What is even funnier if we keep writing on this post and keep it popular the better chance she will see it. LOL! JK JK JK. not really not really. Yes I am! JK.0 -
delete0
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Hey, sounds like you are talking about MY wife!you mean like her facebook account where she has 400+ friends a majority of them being men and her nose is buried in it ....during dinner.....vacations....sitting on couch watching television??
yeah...NO!!!
Heaven forbid I interupt her FB time. Do I let it bother me? No, I tell her if she can find a better deal, go for it. She tells me I can sleep with whoever I want as long as they have money and I send some home. My problem is I can't find any nice looking rich woman that wants a fat balding old man! 0 -
I think my husband would react the way that your wife did, but I would never delete my account because of him being jealous. I do what I do on here, to make a better me, in more ways then one. Without the support and kicks in the butts I get on here I would not be doing as well as I am. I get no compliments from him what so ever, and to me that is a huge part of succeeding. I am sorry she feels this way. Good luck and if you are looking for a friend to help support you, I am here. I don't do Thong's or Boobs!! LOL I am just an over weight person looking to make a better life for myself.0
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Yeah it looks like you both need remove yourselves from these unsettling situations...Buddy Black Thong come'on man Im just saying it dont look good and facebook is trouble correct that issue fast.
I've been on here for 2 weeks, and I'm just discovering there's a black thong thursday?! *pout*
This! dammit and my 2 weeks is more like 2 months0 -
My husband spies on my fb and here all the time and deletes friends as he wants he's an *kitten* and always has been to me so he should be insecure and now he gets mad because I'm on here all the time and says "what let me guess your on fat book" so I sort of know how you feel it sucks.0
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Un_desirable has deactivated their account.
Maybe his wife saw this one too!0 -
Although it is sad you can't interact anymore, I can see why your wife reacted the way she did. You should have been more open with it, and let her know what the messages were saying before she had to 'find' them. Maybe she will come around eventually, though. If the messages truly were innocent (from what you typed it seemed so..) then I am truly sorry for you! What may be innocent may not always appear that way, especially since what was said in the messages was never discussed with your wife before she had to read them herself.
^This and you obviously have major marraige issues to be seeking advice on here when the problem was your interactions on here to begin with :? I have seen some really inappropriate (in my estimation) conversations on here and can just imagine what goes on in PM's...0 -
Threads like this make me appreciate my girlfriend so much more. None of this nonsense to be dealt with. Amazing how communication actually can work.0
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My husband spies on my fb and here all the time and deletes friends as he wants he's an *kitten* and always has been to me so he should be insecure and now he gets mad because I'm on here all the time and says "what let me guess your on fat book" so I sort of know how you feel it sucks.
DTMFA. Seriously. Google it then do it.0 -
Let her read this thread.Here"s the deal....
She had been monitoring my MFP account for days...
Once she confronted and told me that she was angry about the flirting ( add smileys) etc I immediately told her this wasn't worth it to me so immdiately deactivated my account. I then made a new account that I use to only log in and add my calories and exercise.
She is a high profile person at her place of employment and does NOT lack for confidence....she is working on her body using MFP and in fact I wrote to a friend how proud of her I was of her progress....
I got an earful thanks to Black Thong Thursday and Booby Friday....Like I was the perv who invented it....?/
I am proud of EVERY man or woman on this site who Tracks daily...has had a success and shared it....who is an inspiration to myself and others...when I'm on my runs now and I feel like I have legs of Jello I get an energy burst thinking about how I am going to feel when I post a ran 50 minutes at 6.0 and burned 800 calories....that inspires me to continue this journey....that inspires me to want to help others on this site who are frustrated with the scale and need to know that NSV's count just as much if not more..
Thats as real as I can be!! This site was helping me connect with others who can help me....and I can also help!!
If she is this confident isn´t she just being controlling?0 -
i have a strange feeling theres a WHOLE lot more going on then just MFP.....
two sides to every story, and (usually) somewhere in the middle lies the truth......0 -
My "spouse" (boyfriend of 8 years) is the least jealous and most trusting person ever. He could care less if I flirt and I could care less if he flirts (though neither of us actually flirt with others)
I did have a friend on here make a snark comment about wondering how my boyfriend felt about all the "attention" I have been getting on here. People have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that not all men are jealous and insecure.0 -
Hey, sounds like you are talking about MY wife!you mean like her facebook account where she has 400+ friends a majority of them being men and her nose is buried in it ....during dinner.....vacations....sitting on couch watching television??
yeah...NO!!! Heaven forbid I interupt her FB time. Do I let it bother me? No, I tell her if she can find a better deal, go for it. She tells me I can sleep with whoever I want as long as they have money and I send some home. My problem is I can't find any nice looking rich woman that wants a fat balding old man!
Hmmm? Apparently I've been using FB the wrong way all these years. I took the "social networking" tag seriously...I should have been flirting with hot strangers and cyber-cheating on my dude instead of making plans with girlfriends, keeping up on upcoming events, seeing photos of friends and their kids who don't live close, paying tribute to the dearly departed, attempting to be funny and laughing at the humor of others, promoting my business, and staying in touch with people I would otherwise have lost years ago. What on Earth was I thinking??? Maybe logging calories on MFP will open up a whole new world of debauchery and deception...*fingers crossed*
:noway:0 -
This is why women shouldn't be allowed out of the kitchen.
WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, if we're not allowed out of the kitchen, how else are we supposed to bring you your sammich?? :laugh:0 -
It sounds like she might be a bit insecure. Lots of women feel threatened when their husbands start to loose weight and feel that they might lose them to someone else. If you want to get back to having the same communication you had on here before, maybe offer your wife the password so that she can see for herself that everything being said just supportive and motivational converstion. I realized that once you give them the password, they dont feel the need to come check.
We all need support and motivation! I could not do this without the support of all my MFP friends. I appreciate them telling me I look good, or way to go, when I add a new picture. it keeps me motivated.
Good luck to you! hope it all works out!0 -
Not I. My hubby's cool with the deal. I would probably ask her why she's really so peeved. For some reason I don't feel as though I am getting the entire picture here?
In any case, you were in some way asking for sympathy, hence the post. You were also likely craving the interaction.
Regardless, you are a good person to consider her feelings. I'm not certain I would be so terribly generous.
Best of luck to you and your spouse on your fitness journeys (l lift my tea mug to you).
:drinker:0 -
I feel bad reading this....save yourself and leave him .My husband spies on my fb and here all the time and deletes friends as he wants he's an *kitten* and always has been to me so he should be insecure and now he gets mad because I'm on here all the time and says "what let me guess your on fat book" so I sort of know how you feel it sucks.
With every day that passes I get more and more greatful I´m single0 -
I haven't read past the first page, but it's probably by now, at a point, where everyone is telling you to get a divorce and that you wife is a controlling *****. LOL.
All I will say about this, is that I think your wife has a good point. However, I do think there is a workable solution to the problem. But, that's for you two to work out together.0 -
Un_desirable has deleted their account. Looks like he lost that battle.0
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I haven't read past the first page, but it's probably by now, at a point, where everyone is telling you to get a divorce and that you wife is a controlling *****. LOL.
All I will say about this, is that I think your wife has a good point. However, I do think there is a workable solution to the problem. But, that's for you two to work out together.
You haven't missed much - just the OP deactivating his account after admitting that his wife is on MFP, and everyone pointing out the obvious info of "good job complaining about her publicly on a site she frequents about an argument they had over the same site."
On a separate note I want to say, I don't understand people who think trust equals exchanging passwords so that you can spy on each other. I feel (and luckily have a husband who agrees) that is the polar opposite of trust. I have nothing to hide online, or elsewhere, but my husband doesn't need to have access to all my accounts to know that.0 -
I haven't read past the first page, but it's probably by now, at a point, where everyone is telling you to get a divorce and that you wife is a controlling *****. LOL.
All I will say about this, is that I think your wife has a good point. However, I do think there is a workable solution to the problem. But, that's for you two to work out together.
You haven't missed much - just the OP deactivating his account after admitting that his wife is on MFP, and everyone pointing out the obvious info of "good job complaining about her publicly on a site she frequents about an argument they had over the same site."
On a separate note I want to say, I don't understand people who think trust equals exchanging passwords so that you can spy on each other. I feel (and luckily have a husband who agrees) that is the polar opposite of trust. I have nothing to hide online, or elsewhere, but my husband doesn't need to have access to all my accounts to know that.
To each their own.
The wife and I never spy on each other. We aren't looking for issues, but we both know each others passwords and stuff. I make sure to clearly document every password I have, in case I should happen to die/be killed. I'd hate her to have to deal with everything without any information, or having to go through legal ****, etc etc etc. Plus, we are very open, so its not a matter of she not trusting me or me not trusting her at all. Hell, the only time i get on her facebook is when she forgets to log out, in which at that point I try out some of my comedic genius. 0 -
I haven't read past the first page, but it's probably by now, at a point, where everyone is telling you to get a divorce and that you wife is a controlling *****. LOL.
All I will say about this, is that I think your wife has a good point. However, I do think there is a workable solution to the problem. But, that's for you two to work out together.
You haven't missed much - just the OP deactivating his account after admitting that his wife is on MFP, and everyone pointing out the obvious info of "good job complaining about her publicly on a site she frequents about an argument they had over the same site."
On a separate note I want to say, I don't understand people who think trust equals exchanging passwords so that you can spy on each other. I feel (and luckily have a husband who agrees) that is the polar opposite of trust. I have nothing to hide online, or elsewhere, but my husband doesn't need to have access to all my accounts to know that.
I don't think that trust=exchanging passwords etc, we just happen to have them saved on the computer and don't mind if the other is on there. Our trust goes way beyond that, our marriage is bigger than that. We see it as "trust" because neither of us have anything to hide. We have spent 11 years building a marriage that doesn't "require" passwords (NOT saying those who do have weak relationships...theirs are just different than mine). If you feel you need to have no access...great, if you choose to allow access...great. It isn't about the social networking, it is about the relationship.Heck, we share an email account. Make it hard for him to surprise me with booking get-aways though...lol. That is when he uses my mother. :laugh:0 -
I haven't read past the first page, but it's probably by now, at a point, where everyone is telling you to get a divorce and that you wife is a controlling *****. LOL.
All I will say about this, is that I think your wife has a good point. However, I do think there is a workable solution to the problem. But, that's for you two to work out together.
You haven't missed much - just the OP deactivating his account after admitting that his wife is on MFP, and everyone pointing out the obvious info of "good job complaining about her publicly on a site she frequents about an argument they had over the same site."
On a separate note I want to say, I don't understand people who think trust equals exchanging passwords so that you can spy on each other. I feel (and luckily have a husband who agrees) that is the polar opposite of trust. I have nothing to hide online, or elsewhere, but my husband doesn't need to have access to all my accounts to know that.
To each their own.
The wife and I never spy on each other. We aren't looking for issues, but we both know each others passwords and stuff. I make sure to clearly document every password I have, in case I should happen to die/be killed. I'd hate her to have to deal with everything without any information, or having to go through legal ****, etc etc etc. Plus, we are very open, so its not a matter of she not trusting me or me not trusting her at all. Hell, the only time i get on her facebook is when she forgets to log out, in which at that point I try out some of my comedic genius.
Oh - I should clarify, I don't mean for banks, legal stuff, etc. where my death would impact his ability to set things right. I just mean for social stuff, etc. I agree that it's very important to have each other's passwords for stuff like that. But if something were to happen to me, I think getting into my MFP account would be the last thing on his mind.0
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