Closed Diary's

If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.

I just find that bizarre, but each to their own. :ohwell:

(hope none of my real life friends defriend me for not telling them everything I eat!)

I cant speak for anyone else, but personally, mine is closed because the only way my nutritionist/dietician can see it without joining, is if it is closed with a key, then she can click the link, and type in the password....if it was open, she would have to have a page to see it, and that would be silly.....

Because some of us don't care what other people's opinion on what we eat are... I use the diary for my logging purposes to make sure I am hitting my macros and keeping track of my calories. I know what I should be eating and can keep myself accountable. Mine is open but I have had it closed in the past just for the fact that I don't particularly like people commenting on crap like my water intake (I don't log it), or unrelevant stuff like how I should just eat the Whites of eggs. It's not anybody's darn business what I choose to eat. :P
This site is for logging and motivation/support. I can get and offer support and motivation without having to know what somebody is eating. Why would you need to look through my diary before offering support or encouragement? Looking to critique it? Thats not exactly the best kind of support..
I rarely even look at the diaries of my friends because I'm here to offer support and encouragement when they need it not to offer suggestions on their diet unless they asked for it. =/
Would you still offer your support knowing that person is starving himself/herself to death?? Or you would rather not know?


Why is it so important for others to HAVE to see their friend's diaries? I don't understand that. Making comments on somebody's eating habits or knowing what they are eating is not the only form of support you can offer. If that was the only kind of friends I had on here, I certainly would never use this site again outside of logging.

Would you still offer your support knowing that person is starving himself/herself to death?? Or you would rather not know?

I don't keep friends very long if I know they are starving themselves and they don't try to change it. But It isn't my business to pry into their lives to find out. Most of my friends on here have the same goal as me and are looking to build muscle and therefore eat that way. The others have their right to their privacy. I am still going to offer any encouragement I can and just assume they are doing what they should be doing. I don't go aorund commenting on people's diaries whether open or not with stuff like ''way to go'' etc.

This is why friends need to remain more open about what they are doing. Because everyone is here for a reason. Everyone looks for people with similar goals when they send out friend requests. If you don't like someone who is nosy by all means delete that person. But if someone is starving himself /herself and has a closed diary how would you know about it?

Why is it your business to know about it then? They might just have it closed for reasons I mentioned before. I don't just automatically assume the worst and am not going to just delete them or ignore them because I 'believe' they may be starving themselves..therefore ignore them based on my own negative outlook.... You don;t have to see somebody's diary to know they have similar goals. I look for friends who are striving for a fit life or like lifting. If they say that and we have stuff in common to talk about then that is good enough for me. Why the heck should I care what they eat? =/ I'm not here to look into people's eating habits or have them looking at mine. I'm here for friends to chat with about our goals and get/give support and motivation. If they choose to hide something then they are only harming themselves but I'm not here to be nosy to try and pick out the people starving themselves and shun them... If I don't know and they aren't posting Eating disorder like statuses then I am fine...

I can't believe what this website has turned into. Before it was a great place for support and motivation. People didn't just start going through your diary and judging whether they will like you or friend you based on that. It was all about supporting and motivating each other to be better and achieve our goals. Now it's always ''Oh, I can't see what your eating. You must be hiding something. I can not friend you or give support because I am going to automatically assume you have an eating disorder or your doing things wrong/not my way"

HOLLY CRAP BATMAN!!!!

C'mon people get real. We are all on here for different reasons. I am here cause I am overweight not because I have some brilliant excuse, because I have made choices that let me here!!! pure and simple.

I don't care if your diary is open or closed or if you are fat, thin, fit, short, cross eyed, bald, whatever.... all the girl asked in her original post was why... she can obviously see the benefit in having 'friends' that support you.. and yes those little comments help many people stay motivated and ACCOUNTABLE

If your overweight and you eat well most of the time and eat an ice cream once in a while, who cares???? if your overweight and eat a bucket everyday but nothing else and your under your cals... I don't want to encourage that so I just won't comment. Personally, if you choose not to open your diary to you friends but think you should look at theirs and comment then make sure it's only positive.

To everyone who go all haughty over this original question... i think you should about why it hit a nerve

ps. my diary is open to my friends and am happy to be friends with anyone else who is real about their nutrition, fitness and health going for a walk now........................................

Mine is open only to friends. I do feel sort of silly about what I eat at times because I know there isn't enough variety, and the prospect of others seeing that is a little ... I don't know. And then there is also the fact that I spend my calories the way I want to, even if I choose ice cream a few days a week for 600 calories - it's my choice. As long as I am under my calorie count there is no harm. I have not had any nasty comments about my ice cream mochi fiestas yet. I hope I won't get any ;0

It is simple for my wife and I, we support each other and really like the tools provided here. We choose to keep our dairies private because of personal preference. One can judge us for keeping them closed if they wish. When I started here I was at 204 and had dropped from 214, I had already lost 10 pounds by ramping up my exercise and working harder before joining MFP and starting to track my food intake. I do eat back some of my exercise calories and I do eat some unhealthy snacks. I do eat some snacks late night as well. The key is what I do and actions I take are working for me. I understand this site is for encouragement and knowledge sharing among other things but, I do not need someone judging me for what I stuff in my pie-hole, especially those that have chose in the past to let themselves go past overweight to the obese stage. We have a saying while deployed in the Army ............... "Don't let the D-Fac (dining facility) dictate how you look going home", meaning don't over indulge in the D-Fac and do zero physical training. Yes, part of my job is maintaining a weight and fitness standard. I don't believe I judge people by how they look necessarily but, I do judge actions.

I've never looked at anyone else's diary... I just don't see the point? You can see when they are under their daily limit, you can see when they log on, you can see when they exercise - if they ask for advice I'd look but other than that I don't get it.

My diary is private because what I eat is private in real life too. I rarely eat in front of anybody or talk to people about my food, I've had eating problems in the past and although I'm trying to be healthy all the time that's one thing I've never managed to shake off.

I don't have any friends on here yet who I'm not actually FRIENDS with in the real world, I'm sure I will as I use the forum more and their support will be invaluable but for now I don't see the point in accepting friend requests from strangers that know nothing about me

HOLLY CRAP BATMAN!!!!

C'mon people get real. We are all on here for different reasons. I am here cause I am overweight not because I have some brilliant excuse, because I have made choices that let me here!!! pure and simple.

I don't care if your diary is open or closed or if you are fat, thin, fit, short, cross eyed, bald, whatever.... all the girl asked in her original post was why... she can obviously see the benefit in having 'friends' that support you.. and yes those little comments help many people stay motivated and ACCOUNTABLE

If your overweight and you eat well most of the time and eat an ice cream once in a while, who cares???? if your overweight and eat a bucket everyday but nothing else and your under your cals... I don't want to encourage that so I just won't comment. Personally, if you choose not to open your diary to you friends but think you should look at theirs and comment then make sure it's only positive.

To everyone who go all haughty over this original question... i think you should about why it hit a nerve

ps. my diary is open to my friends and am happy to be friends with anyone else who is real about their nutrition, fitness and health going for a walk now........................................

Brilliantly said! :flowerforyou:

Great thread! I found it really helpful in posting this to MFP friends


"http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/618722-closed-diary-s?hl=closed+diary's Anyone get a chance to read this thread? Its very interesting. I want to keep my diary open for the sake of sharing and because Im proud of all the work I am putting into this. That said I need to keep a boundary with my mfp friends because Im not comfortable with unsoliceted comments about what I eat. I am sure all intentions behind this practice are kind and supportive but it honstly gives me a little anxiety and I personally dont find it helpful. I am great at advocating for myself and researching to be informed. I am sure on occasion I will ask for advice in which it will be appropriate to have my friends comment on my diary but in general that practice crosses the line for me."

Is it just me? Do you wonder why people keep their diary's closed? I have had some just ignore me or some get pissed when I have asked them why?? Well why? I don't get why, we are here to support one another and people close out their diary and it says under calorie goal.... Why should anyone say good job if they cannot see it? Just wondering all, I find it frustrating.

I am more honest with logging when it's locked down. When it's open, I lie, a lot.

IMHO I feel that it is up to each and everyone here to do what they see fit and if they want it opened or closed it is up to them, but on the other hand if you come on here and say things like..."I eat my 1200 and exercise but not losing..what am I doing wrong?" well if diary is closed noone can help you and the same goes for any kind of comment where you ask for help or say I am on plateau what can I do different...so if you aren't willing to have your diary viewed then don't ask for help with how you are doing when it comes to eating and trying to lose.

Mine is closed to people I am not friends with. The only reason I have it open to friend is because I am "friends" with my husband who copies my meals because they also his meals.

I hate feedback on my food journal, honestly. You don't know if somebody had a "good day" just because they were under their calorie goals (they could be sick, stressed -- you have no idea) -- you don't know if you should really be telling somebody "tomorrow will be better" if they went over -- I go over when I feel like my body needs it and I am not worried about it for a second.

I don't need strangers monitoring and commenting on my food intake -- unless I have a very specific question. Unless that happens -- oh wait it won't cause I'll ask a doctor, my diary is closed.

Because some people don't want the support aspect of the site, they just want the tools.

^^This^^ and closed mine after someone decided they needed to review my eating habits and tell me what I need to change, feel I'm doing just fine and did not solicite comments or suggestions. I eat what I eat and it is not up to anyone on MFP to tell me if I am not doing it right just because it is not the way they are doing it.

If they are my friend, I tell them I don't like it because I can't keep them accountable for being healthy if I can't see what they are eating or how far under they ate (alot of people with ED's on here and I DON'T want to encourage that). And I'm not going to go around calling people out on what they ate, unless we are close MFPers. But if someone ate all fresh vegetables, lean meats, healthy stuff all day and are under, I am going to compliment their diary. If they ate all Mcdonalds and cheesecake, even if they stayed under goal I'm not going to compliment them. I think there is more to MFP than just staying UNDER your goal, although it is an important part.

If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .

If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.

If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.

Some people aren't on here to make friends. Some people are merely using MFP as a tool to utilize towards their fitness.