I hate to sound mean but......
Replies
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Live and let live.
Mind your own business.0 -
Sounds like you're jealous because you see her eating like that and not giving a ****, and you wish you could too. She probably looks at you and thinks "Ha, that poor carrot.munching suckerfish!"
Mind your beeswax woman. That's just plain rude, a.) to judge her when you obviously barely know her, b.) when you aren't a totally clean eater either and c.) to watch her this closely and monitor her eating habits. Does your boss pay you to nose in on your co-workers? Because I would like a job there, if this is the case.
Acutally no im not jealous. I can eat those things if I chose. Dont choose to. and IM NOT WATCHING HER CLOSELY!!!! she sits RIGHT IN MY FACE. all I have to do is glance up from my computer and BAM!!!!!! Its not hard to pick up on habits when you are around a person everyday.0 -
It's not your problem. If she wants your help, she'll ask, otherwise, it's not your place to say anything--especially not to a coworker.0
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You say nothing because you don't want to explain to your boss or HR why you hated to sound mean, but just couldn't help yourself from being a judgmental jerk.
If you actually care about (or are friends) this woman, maybe ask her if she wants to take a walk with you at lunch or talk about some of the healthy things you are trying to incorporate into your life. Anything else is obtrusive, rude, and quite frankly, something that could get you fired.0 -
There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.
Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.
Love This!!! It's so true. Focus on yourself....because honestly by you being "disgusted" by her eating habits you really are judging her.0 -
Don't do a thing. She needs to help herself before others can help her. I'm SURE she knows eating like that it bad for her. But you never know. Maybe she has an eating problem, like eating her feelings, or she's probably bored.0
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I agree....completely.I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this.
But you are.I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly.
Bottom line: It's none of your business.0 -
I would tell her about your weight lose and tell her about the website,in a girlfriend chatty kind of way. Let her know you are willing to help her when she need help. As she continues to hear your weight lose accomplishments, she will be eagered to check it out for herself. This website will help her with her eating habits, and then you all can do it together and encourage each other. LOL, now back to the real world! What was I saying....LOL! seriously, let her know each day she can set aside one of her favorite foods and still lose the weight. It just may save her life!0
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This may sound mean but here it goes I HAVE to get this off my chest. There is a woman that sits in the cubicle next to mine. She is severely overweight maybe about 350 lbs and 5'3. Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits. Im with her from 9-5 and here is something like how her time her might go:
Breakfast: Soda and McDonalds or burger king
Snack: Chips and another soda
Lunch: McDonalds, burger king, Wendy’s, or other fast foods
Snack: soda, donuts, candy, chocolate, chips
Now. I’m am not a clean eater at all and I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this. I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly. Another thing is that she is always out sick, which I can attribute to her weight. I know its not my place to say anything however I’m really bothered and I really want to help out. But don’t want to offend her. What would you do?
I actually have a co-worker, same stats (maybe even higher weight), who eats like this. She has diabetes, health problems, etc... I say nothing because I used to eat gummy worms, chocolate, and all sorts of crap at my desk all day. I just love on her. Bringing it up will only embarass her and alienate her. I would be pissed if a co-worker pointed out to me when I used to eat crap all day. Her doctor is probably on her already.0 -
None of us here got overweight because we sat at our desk overeating salad
Do nothing. It is her life, not yours.
Instead of trying to figure out a way to change her habits maybe instead spend a bit of time trying to find out why it bothers you in the first place?
Let her be a lesson to you about what happens when you live an inactive life with poor quality food.
Let youself be an example to those around you on how eating healthy and exercise can change your body and life for the better.
No words needed, let your success alone lead others if they are looking for that.
I have a simple rule that I generally try my best to keep: Don't share my opinion unless I know the other person really wants to hear it. I may sometimes break that rule on the internet now that I think about it (like in this thread for example LOL,) but in real life and *most* of the time on the internet I try to follow that advice 0 -
i agree with the others, mean ... yes.
keep yer nose out.
mind your own business0 -
I had a friend who I told about my weight loss, and she approached me and asked me to help her lose weight as well. One of the first things I told her is that she could probably lose a lot of weight just by changing her diet a little. She didn't eat horribly, but she did go over her calories with how much soda she drank in a day. To this, she replied "well, I don't want to be miserable and go on a rabbit diet, like you."
I shrugged that off, she was probably thinking that I was being mean, when I was just trying to help. So, I tried a different approach. I told her whenever I went to the gym she could come with me and we could work out together. She agreed, and so the next time I told her I was going to the gym, she had an excuse. Fine, there are just some times that we can't make it. But it kept happening. Again, and again, and again, until I finally stopped asking her.
She wanted to lose weight, I could tell that she really did. But she wasn't ready and having me try to help wasn't doing a thing for her. There are some people who know they're eating badly and they're not doing the right thing to get healthy, but they need to come to the realization on their own.0 -
Use her as an example. Ya know like cause and effect.
as in:
"If I can McDonald's for lunch very day and scarf down chocolate and chips and fatty fat stuff, then I am going to end up like THAT."
And then it's an ego boost for you; all the more reason to eat healthy and work out and all that good stuff.
Maybe it's the drugs...
But really? Call her a THAT and belittle her to boost your ego?
How about mind your business and don't be a total snagglepuss while you're at it.0 -
There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.
Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.
^^^^This! And why would assume she is out sick because of her weight? Does she call in to work fat? I am fat and I hardly ever call in sick and have never in the past called out because of my weight. Try being less judgemental.0 -
Is there no way to put it a polite way? Hmmmm... it's a thinker.
At the same time, what would be the difference of someone eating at a very unhealthy rate, and who is at an unhealthy weight range, and then someone standing on the side of a building ready to jump?
Would all those people who said "leave them be it's their problem, etc".. say the same thing to the possible jumper on the side of the building?0 -
maybe if she see's you eating healthy and see's you focused on your goals, maybe she'll want to change too!0
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Lead by example.
^This. I don't think you sound mean, it is what it is and if I had to be around food temptations all day I wouldn't like it either. I say, keep your eye on the prize.0 -
Are you really trying to help someone or trying to convince your audience (us) to feel disgusted in the same way you do?What would I do?
I would get to know her better and find opportunities to share health and nutrition with her. I'd share my own weight loss and "eating clean" struggles with her. That is what I do now and will do for the rest of my life. I would NOT just blindly do nothing.
She needs help, she needs a friend that will support her, can that person be you?
This!!! I just want to help. I constantly hear her talking about her health issues and all of that. Maybe all she needs is someone to support her? !
You seem pretty invested in not being judged as "mean" so I'm curious why you felt the need to list what your co-worker eats. This is MFP. We know what unhealthy eating choices look like. I think you need to work out whether you really want to help this person, or simply want an excuse to judge. I don't know you - maybe it's a combination of both. We all judge people.
Were you only interested in helping, I would have expected a simple post that read something like: "I have an overweight co-worker that I am concerned about. She makes unhealthy eating decisions and I want to say something to her. Does anyone have any advice?"
I don't know whether you really want to help this person or not. But I don't think empathy and disgust co-exist harmoniously. Pick one and be honest about it. It not with us, with yourself.0 -
Acutally no im not jealous. I can eat those things if I chose. Dont choose to.
If you're going to make statements like that, you might want to close your food diary.0 -
Agree with others... let her live her unhealthy lifestyle, while you make better decisions and choices. If you say anything to her, you'll simply come off and rude and insensitive. However, if she ever says anything to you... by all means, help her :-)0
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What would I do?
I would get to know her better and find opportunities to share health and nutrition with her. I'd share my own weight loss and "eating clean" struggles with her. That is what I do now and will do for the rest of my life. I would NOT just blindly do nothing.
She needs help, she needs a friend that will support her, can that person be you?
This ^^
Unless you can't do it in a "positive non-judgemental way". Eating habits are hard to change, and you can't force health on anyone.
Start small and don't be pushy. Someone who talks non stop about their diet or work outs, would make me want to slap them (others may just find it annoying).
She is mostlikly at the point where most of us get too, where we dont give a f**k until something breaks and then we want change.
Someone picking on my food habits would make me mad, upset and embarassed. If you must proceed, proceed with utmost kindness,
If not, sit back and lead by example, she may venture your way and ask what you are doing to be so successful0 -
She's not going to respond well to anything that you have to say. If it bothers you so much, I would suggest talking to your manager about relocating your work space.0
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Sounds exactly like how I used to eat...I feel for her. We don't know what her inner issues are. I hope she finds the strength and courage to change for if nothing else, better health.0
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Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.0
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Acutally no im not jealous. I can eat those things if I chose. Dont choose to.
If you're going to make statements like that, you might want to close your food diary.
Ding ding we have a winner.
& It was just closed as right after I looked.0 -
The most you can likely do is be her friend and try to set a good example. Maybe bring an extra piece of fruit some days and offer it to her. Or ask her to lunch and choose a place that has healthy options. Even if she chooses an unhealthy option, you can set the example by eating healthy. Don't mention her weight or yours, as she might find that offensive. Just say you are trying to be healthier if your food choices come up in conversation.0
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She eats that way because she wants to, or maybe knows no better. I wouldn't say anything if I were you, it could cause a lot of future awkwardness.
Maybe ask her to go for a walk at lunch? Motivate her to be healthy in some way that you can, while being nonchalant?0 -
I'm sure that she has no idea that she is obese, and needs to lose weight. :huh:
And I'm also sure she has NO idea that people are judging her for what she eats.0 -
Everyone knows about calories at this point, so it's not really your business to be an educator. When you get fat, your body sends your brain signals to eat more calories. In other words, you're not necessarily fat because you eat poorly; you eat poorly because you're fat. Moral judgment from other people isn't helpful, no matter how tactfully phrased.0
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This may sound mean but here it goes I HAVE to get this off my chest. There is a woman that sits in the cubicle next to mine. She is severely overweight maybe about 350 lbs and 5'3. Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits. Im with her from 9-5 and here is something like how her time her might go:
Breakfast: Soda and McDonalds or burger king
Snack: Chips and another soda
Lunch: McDonalds, burger king, Wendy’s, or other fast foods
Snack: soda, donuts, candy, chocolate, chips
Now. I’m am not a clean eater at all and I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this. I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly. Another thing is that she is always out sick, which I can attribute to her weight. I know its not my place to say anything however I’m really bothered and I really want to help out. But don’t want to offend her. What would you do?
How would you feel if someone was judging you by your behaviors that led you to be 40 pounds overweight? "Just Sayin"
And starting your post out with I hate to sound mean but.... is just mean!
I understand where you're coming from. There was a lady in one of my grad classes that was probably about the same size as the lady you are talking about. I once saw her dip Chick-fil-a nuggets in mayo....and I mean she really scooped that mayo onto that nugget! She would also drink soda and eat entire bags of chips or boxes of candy...all this JUST during class. I felt sorry for her because you could tell she struggled to just walk and got winded really quickly. It's hard to know what to do in these situations. I didn't know her very well at all...so I never said anything. But like a lot of people have said, most people aren't going to change until THEY are ready to. Best of luck!0
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