I hate to sound mean but......

You're judging her. Just own it, because I would too. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do, since it's not your business. Just silently judge her and think about how much healthier you are. Enjoy that feeling of superiority and better health. Maybe one day she will get sick enough that she has a wake-up call. Probably not though.

It is odd to me that you would post this topic. :indifferent:

Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.

This, too. I hate it when people post something like this and say, "I don't want to be mean, but..." No, you do. You think that you're morally superior to this woman because you've decided to eat differently than she does. Is she hurting anyone but herself? No. Therefore, the question of morality is not involved.

You don't sound mean, you sound human! I've been there, I've seen it and I know how frustrating it can be. The problem I had was then the person sat there and told me how they had tried to lose weight but it just wouldn't come off...seriously don't tell me that when you have a Quarter Pounder in your hand :laugh: It's hard but you have to let her be. I am a pretty clean eater, I do know what being obese versus being healthy feels like and I do know they could have a healthier and far more productive life if they would make the change BUT I cannot force anyone to do something they are not willing to do. If someone had told me I was unhealthy and fat it would have drove me to eat more, not less. It sucks that obesity is driving up our healthcare costs and trust me on this, nothing pisses me off more than people who are sick because of their own bad habits! That said, I find that if I step back and let that person know I'm there if they need me, they are more likely to come to me for help when they're serious about changing.

This may sound mean but here it goes I HAVE to get this off my chest. There is a woman that sits in the cubicle next to mine. She is severely overweight maybe about 350 lbs and 5'3. Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits. Im with her from 9-5 and here is something like how her time her might go:

Breakfast: Soda and McDonalds or burger king
Snack: Chips and another soda
Lunch: McDonalds, burger king, Wendy’s, or other fast foods
Snack: soda, donuts, candy, chocolate, chips

Now. I’m am not a clean eater at all and I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this. I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly. Another thing is that she is always out sick, which I can attribute to her weight. I know its not my place to say anything however I’m really bothered and I really want to help out. But don’t want to offend her. What would you do?

Yes, YOU are judging her; and you are arrogant because YOU think YOU have the "Magic Bullet" that will make her better.
Do this: When she is out or away from her desk, (Do Research and place literature about SEVERAL Wt Loss Options on her Desk, ie, Weight Loss Surgery (RNY, Lap Band and give websites), MFP...AFTER THAT - LEAVE HER ALONE! DO NOT talk about her to your "Friends" at work anymore because INDEED, That is MEAN and DESPICABLE!

Starting a post with 'I hate to sound mean but.......' is probably not the best delivery for this. I have SO many people at my work like her... I think it's very encouraging. Just like she needs to have her own urge to change her lifestyle, you need to be strong and not be influenced or discouraged by her incessant fattiness. Honestly, take that disgust for watching obese people shoving food into their gullet with a grain of salt and realize that you've moved on from anything close to that! You're doing great just by being here, you're making a change... she isn't. Instead of saying something to her, why not indirectly show her what it's like to be healthy! I feel your pain in wanting to help her, but those kinds of people will never move forward if they don't want to.


Just to vent along with you.. I have a woman in my cube row who can eat an entire stuffed crust pizza, a beef and cheddar from Arby's and a bag of taco bell in one day. Just be glad it isn't you! :drinker:

I don't think some of the people are being fair on the OP - she may genuinely want to help her.

I wonder if it would be different if she was taking drugs are was drinking too much. I'd want to help

I'd be inclined to say something lighthearted and empathetic like "Oh McDonalds are so hard to resist aren't they - the only way I could stop was to cut them out completely" and see what she says. If she says "Yeah Ive been meaning to cut down" you have an opening

If she says "I dont want to stop as I love 'em so much" then never bring it up again

I have another thought. I compare this to people that smoke. I used to be a heavy smoker myself and I KNEW it was bad. I would be annoyed when endless people would tell me it's not good for me. DUH!! But I chose to keep smoking.

Yes, I quit at one point but it was not because someone told me it was bad. I realized I wanted to quit one day and did.

Overeating is kindof the same thing. Leave her alone and worry about yourself.

I suggest you use it as motivation, you don't want to be like that and as far as "trying" to change it as every one here said nobody makes a change until they "want" to change. When I was 340lbs I didn't think I was that big until I stepped on the scale. In any case it wouldn't have mattered if anyone said anything to me about my weight I would have just replied that it is my life. Maybe she will see your progress and "ask" you about how your losing weight that will be the time to bring up eating habits. But until she asks I personally would just use it as motiviation to keep myself on TRACK with my goals.

I use people like that as motivation. If you are thin I cant tell by your picture or not but I wouldnt say anything to her. If it were me in I would say something to her bc I HAVE been there I understand why shes eating all that **** and I can tell her there is a better way she will take it much better from an obese person then a thin person or so Ive seen

I would say do nothing. People are going to do what they want to do. If someone suggested to me to change my eating habits before I was ready to, I would not have listened and I would have been very pissed off. It is up to her to change, not up to you to change her. At one point, people would have looked at my food choices and been repulsed as well. Thankfully no one said anything. People have to want to change.

^this. maybe having a job is very important for her/her family, so she might not decide to change her eating habits until she's less stressed. For a lot of people, junk food is a vice. Either way it's unhealthy, but either way most people have unhealthy emotional or tangible vices that are unhealthy to cope with their responsibilities and stresses.

Can't help them that don't want to help themselves

I personally would bring an extra snack or something and offer it to her. and do that once every so often maybe she find something through you that she ends up liking.

Is there no way to put it a polite way? Hmmmm... it's a thinker.

At the same time, what would be the difference of someone eating at a very unhealthy rate, and who is at an unhealthy weight range, and then someone standing on the side of a building ready to jump?

Would all those people who said "leave them be it's their problem, etc".. say the same thing to the possible jumper on the side of the building?

I think if there were a jumper on the side of my building I would pray that there was a "professional" on the scene to talk to them, as saying the wrong thing can have the opposite effect as what you are hoping for. Which is the same for what the co-worker is talking about. Her words could have the opposite impact of what she's hoping for. That's how the situations are the same. How they are different is the jumper scenario has an immediate risk of fatality - so if I were the only option (and I would hope I wasn't), I would do my best to keep the person on that ledge for as long as was necessary to get them off that ledge in the right way. But at no point would I find the jumper's behavior "repulsive" or some other judgemental term while claiming to "only want to help them".

To the OP.. there are a lot of sheeple in the world.. it is expected to get responses such as some of the ones you have received. I have no doubt you'd like to help your coworker, I would want to do the same. It's just the question is, how to put it across.. like my prior post on here, would you let someone on the edge of a building jump? No.. so why is this any different?