I hate to sound mean but......
Replies
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There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.
Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.
^^ Agreed.
exactly- it is NONE of your business how other people live.0 -
I would deck you just to give an idea of what she might do. I wouldn't just be humiliated that your watching me like that but then you put me on the spot. She will have her breaking point one day and she will lose it and if she doesn't want to it's not up to you to tell her to.0
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I don't think some of the people are being fair on the OP - she may genuinely want to help her.
I wonder if it would be different if she was taking drugs are was drinking too much. I'd want to help
I'd be inclined to say something lighthearted and empathetic like "Oh McDonalds are so hard to resist aren't they - the only way I could stop was to cut them out completely" and see what she says. If she says "Yeah Ive been meaning to cut down" you have an opening
If she says "I dont want to stop as I love 'em so much" then never bring it up again
I do!!! I didnt even mention the every hour cigarette breaks she takes and the five minutes it takes her to get to the elevator! I honestly feel bad and I would want someone to help motivate and support me.0 -
WOW op's getting a hard time here when all she wants to do is help a co-worker. Normally i have all the tact and diplomacy of a sledge hammer so i can empathise with your situation. If you really want to say something why not tell her about your own 8lb loss and how it was so easy to do using MFP. If she decides to look at the site then she may change, if she doesn't then at least you can say you tried. Just make sure you are telling her about your achievement and not telling her to change.0
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Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
Your co-worker is just sitting there trying to eat her lunch and do her work. You're popping up on an Internet messageboard and asking for advice. And it seems like you can barely put a sentence together without multiple grammatical and spelling errors, so there's that, too. I wonder if your co-worker is sitting in the cubicle next to you, posting something on another board, "I don't want to be mean, but this girl who works next to me can't construct a sentence to save her life. Didn't she complete high school?" How would that make you feel, I wonder?0 -
What bothers you exactly? Watching her behavior? Hearing her eat? Smelling the food? Knowing she's eating what you want to eat?
I think figuring out precisely what bothers you would be a good start. You are the one being bothered, apparently not her.
For me, I think hearing package rattling and the smell would get to me. I'm guessing it is typical in your office to eat at your desk, so I don't think it's realistic to ask her to stop eating at her desk. But if it is, then ask HR to help out. You don't need to enforce the office rules.
Depending on the work relationship, and understanding what exactly bugs you, you could talk to her about your own weight loss and struggles to keep your goals. Ask nicely if she would please help you out by putting her food in a bowl so you don't hear the package noise or not throw food garbage in the cubical trash so you don't smell it, or whatever. I believe a friendly approach gets better results, and she might be more supportive of helping you out than you think.0 -
To the OP.. there are a lot of sheeple in the world.. it is expected to get responses such as some of the ones you have received. I have no doubt you'd like to help your coworker, I would want to do the same. It's just the question is, how to put it across.. like my prior post on here, would you let someone on the edge of a building jump? No.. so why is this any different?
BAN FAST FOOD!!!!!
And bridges....
And tall buildings....
MORE LEGISLATURE IS THE ANSWER :drinker:0 -
Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.
Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!
I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.
Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.
You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!
Good Day People!
Ask yourself: "if my coworker saw my original post in this thread, would her feelings be hurt?" I'd be willing to bet it's a resounding YES!!!! That does make it kind of mean...
I disagree. Asking a internet fitness community what they would do when faced with a situation of a co-worker literally eating themselves into sickness doesn't seem mean to me. Though many of the replies have certainly been mean.0 -
Just a Story: When I was in College, this one woman used to come to class and now and then she had a "tinge" of urine smell on her. Well, this one group of Students would get together and talk about her like a DOGGGG...OHH did I mention that the woman had just had a Baby and was a Paraplegic in a wheel chair. POINT: It is AMAZING what/who SELF-RIGHTEOUS, ARROGANT KNUCKLE-HEADS will PUT DOWN...Some People JUST CAN NOT Empathize (Usually LOW EQ (Emotional Quotion.)
I NEVER got over that, and I remember the woman's name to this day, and the type of person she is...Very Strong and Courageous and Kind!0 -
Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
You really learned nothing from the responses you got didn't you? Other than that you should close your food diary lest someone see what a hypocrite you are?
If you honestly can't see the irony in saying you're not judgmental and then immediately calling someone "repulsive", then I don't think anyone is going to be able to explain it to you.0 -
This may sound mean but here it goes I HAVE to get this off my chest. There is a woman that sits in the cubicle next to mine. She is severely overweight maybe about 350 lbs and 5'3. Now I would never say mean things about people that are over weight but I cant help but be bothered by her eating habits. Im with her from 9-5 and here is something like how her time her might go:
Breakfast: Soda and McDonalds or burger king
Snack: Chips and another soda
Lunch: McDonalds, burger king, Wendy’s, or other fast foods
Snack: soda, donuts, candy, chocolate, chips
Now. I’m am not a clean eater at all and I am not judging by her eating habits but I find it very discouraging being around this. I almost find it repulsive to see someone so over weight eating so carelessly. Another thing is that she is always out sick, which I can attribute to her weight. I know its not my place to say anything however I’m really bothered and I really want to help out. But don’t want to offend her. What would you do?
Be a positive influence and brag about your fitness accomplishments and how easy it all is. That is about all you can do. Show her how wonderful life is when you are thin and fit.0 -
If you honestly can't see the irony in saying you're not judgmental and then immediately calling someone "repulsive", then I don't think anyone is going to be able to explain it to you.
Yes, exactly.0 -
The smell bothers me and just watching someone scarf fown burgers and donuts gets a bit annoying. And No many of us eat in the kitchen that is provided for eating. And I think she may be more open than people think!What bothers you exactly? Watching her behavior? Hearing her eat? Smelling the food? Knowing she's eating what you want to eat?
I think figuring out precisely what bothers you would be a good start. You are the one being bothered, apparently not her.
For me, I think hearing package rattling and the smell would get to me. I'm guessing it is typical in your office to eat at your desk, so I don't think it's realistic to ask her to stop eating at her desk. But if it is, then ask HR to help out. You don't need to enforce the office rules.
Depending on the work relationship, and understanding what exactly bugs you, you could talk to her about your own weight loss and struggles to keep your goals. Ask nicely if she would please help you out by putting her food in a bowl so you don't hear the package noise or not throw food garbage in the cubical trash so you don't smell it, or whatever. I believe a friendly approach gets better results, and she might be more supportive of helping you out than you think.0 -
I don't think some of the people are being fair on the OP - she may genuinely want to help her.
I wonder if it would be different if she was taking drugs are was drinking too much. I'd want to help
I'd be inclined to say something lighthearted and empathetic like "Oh McDonalds are so hard to resist aren't they - the only way I could stop was to cut them out completely" and see what she says. If she says "Yeah Ive been meaning to cut down" you have an opening
If she says "I dont want to stop as I love 'em so much" then never bring it up again
I do!!! I didnt even mention the every hour cigarette breaks she takes and the five minutes it takes her to get to the elevator! I honestly feel bad and I would want someone to help motivate and support me.
This is not your friend, your family, or someone you are close to. She has not reached out to you for help. You are the one here with a problem.0 -
Sounds like you're nonjudgmentally judging her. You've seen what she eats often enough to know she's not eating well, but it really isn't your place to say anything about it unless she asks. Just look after yourself and maybe she'll notice your improvements health wise and want to know how you're doing it and then you can tell her to go easy on the fast food and that she'd be better served learning how to cook her own food.
This is what I would say. It never is a good idea to give (a negative) opinion unless someone asks for it. The only time I might do/say something is if someone was involved in an abusive relationship, or doing drugs/abusing alcohol (or something awful like that)...0 -
wow, this is the best of the bunch on simple, direct responses. I quite agree, there are somethings that can't be explained to others unless they truly are open to hear the words, and I'm not talking about your co-worker here.:frown:If you honestly can't see the irony in saying you're not judgmental and then immediately calling someone "repulsive", then I don't think anyone is going to be able to explain it to you.
Yes, exactly.0 -
No im acutally NOT a hypocrite. I never said there was anything wrong with the foods that she eats. But YES in my opinion there is something wrong with the AMOUNT of the types of food she eating.Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
You really learned nothing from the responses you got didn't you? Other than that you should close your food diary lest someone see what a hypocrite you are?
If you honestly can't see the irony in saying you're not judgmental and then immediately calling someone "repulsive", then I don't think anyone is going to be able to explain it to you.0 -
I don't think some of the people are being fair on the OP - she may genuinely want to help her.
I wonder if it would be different if she was taking drugs are was drinking too much. I'd want to help
I'd be inclined to say something lighthearted and empathetic like "Oh McDonalds are so hard to resist aren't they - the only way I could stop was to cut them out completely" and see what she says. If she says "Yeah Ive been meaning to cut down" you have an opening
If she says "I dont want to stop as I love 'em so much" then never bring it up again
I do!!! I didnt even mention the every hour cigarette breaks she takes and the five minutes it takes her to get to the elevator! I honestly feel bad and I would want someone to help motivate and support me.
Fo-Get YOU...YOU Still do NOT Get IT! ONE Day YOU WILL! And it will be HARD and Embarrassing!0 -
Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.
Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!
I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.
Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.
You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!
Good Day People!
Ask yourself: "if my coworker saw my original post in this thread, would her feelings be hurt?" I'd be willing to bet it's a resounding YES!!!! That does make it kind of mean...
I disagree. Asking a internet fitness community what they would do when faced with a situation of a co-worker literally eating themselves into sickness doesn't seem mean to me. Though many of the replies have certainly been mean.
^^^ Agree.. this OP is sure getting a lot of slack for trying to get advice from people on how to help a coworker..0 -
Maybe all she needs is someone to invite her to go for a walk at lunch, it may only be a short walk but that just might be the nudge she needs. I used to be that person to fast food all meals and some. But because someone started asking me to go for a walk at lunch its now what I do everyday and i have that one person to thank for it.
just sayin0 -
Its not aweful to continuously abuse your body when you KNOW and express to other that you have health issues from your own habits???!!!
Oh ok!!!!
Maybe Ill wait until she comes to work drunk to try to extend a helping hand!Sounds like you're nonjudgmentally judging her. You've seen what she eats often enough to know she's not eating well, but it really isn't your place to say anything about it unless she asks. Just look after yourself and maybe she'll notice your improvements health wise and want to know how you're doing it and then you can tell her to go easy on the fast food and that she'd be better served learning how to cook her own food.
This is what I would say. It never is a good idea to give (a negative) opinion unless someone asks for it. The only time I might do/say something is if someone was involved in an abusive relationship, or doing drugs/abusing alcohol (or something awful like that)...0 -
I think many people on here will attest, that although that kind of eating is a large part of why I/we got fat, there are a whole lot of other things going on, and my eating habits, although bad, were a side effect of the many other issues going on in my life and head. And if you were to say anything to me, especially without us having any kind of relationship or trust that would allow for that kind of honesty, it would hurt me deeply, and if it changed my behavior at all, it would have been temporary, and more than likely, I just would have ate worse, but added to my problems by now feeling like I need to hide it even more.
I think you may be genuine in some of your concerns, but don't seem to have relationship, or understanding and tolerance it would take to be that friend for her, and I would leave her alone, be nice to her, work on your own goals, and like someone on here said, maybe some day she'll come to you and ask what you do to lose weight and you can share.
and I agree with everybody else, "I hate to sound mean but.." means you already know it sounds mean, and it most likely is, and says you're going to do it anyway. I need a lot of help in my journey, and have a lot still to work on, but based on that phrase you used alone, I don't feel like you could ever give that support and help to me that I need. That said, I also think you brought it before this group, because you were looking for feedback, and someone to give you a solution or reign you in, and that's awesome that you would seek advice in a possibly questionable dilemna, and I applaud you and hope I and others haven't judged you to quickly or harshly, as one post is truely not enough to get to know anybody, much less judge them. So my reactions are to the words said, I'm sure you are a great person and wish you great things in reaching and maintaining your own weight and fitness goals.0 -
I don't think some of the people are being fair on the OP - she may genuinely want to help her.
I wonder if it would be different if she was taking drugs are was drinking too much. I'd want to help
I'd be inclined to say something lighthearted and empathetic like "Oh McDonalds are so hard to resist aren't they - the only way I could stop was to cut them out completely" and see what she says. If she says "Yeah Ive been meaning to cut down" you have an opening
If she says "I dont want to stop as I love 'em so much" then never bring it up again
I do!!! I didnt even mention the every hour cigarette breaks she takes and the five minutes it takes her to get to the elevator! I honestly feel bad and I would want someone to help motivate and support me.
Fo-Get YOU...YOU Still do NOT Get IT! ONE Day YOU WILL! And it will be HARD and Embarrassing!
Is this also the fact when someone points out that you are addicted to heavy drugs and they are killing you. You don't want someone to point it out because you're embarrassed for taking the drugs and are slowly killing yourself. Of course.. but do they need help? Yes..0 -
Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.
Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!
I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.
Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.
You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!
Good Day People!
Ask yourself: "if my coworker saw my original post in this thread, would her feelings be hurt?" I'd be willing to bet it's a resounding YES!!!! That does make it kind of mean...
I disagree. Asking a internet fitness community what they would do when faced with a situation of a co-worker literally eating themselves into sickness doesn't seem mean to me. Though many of the replies have certainly been mean.
You would be pleased, then, if you were the overweight coworker to find a great fitness site, and then read the board and see that your coworker had written this about you? You would be happy. No hurt feelings? Surely you jest...or lack the empathic feelings it requires to put yourself into that person's shoes.
The coworker probably doesn't want her "dirty laundry" aired all over the internet by some person she feels obliged to say good morning to every day.0 -
Part of me wants to keep replying, hoping you'll understand but too much has been said and it's not happening.
The OP made makes me sad, what was written but most of all the lack of tact in how it was written.
This thread has gotten far too ugly for me, I need to get my head back in a far more positive place.0 -
Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.
Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!
I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.
Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.
You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!
Good Day People!
Let me put it in a context you might better understand. I am no longer overweight. I am at my goal weight and a clean eater. Let's say that YOU are my coworker. How would you feel if I made this same post about YOU? Listing what you ate for others to see? Telling people how disgusted I am because you are 40 pounds overweight and are obese?0 -
Maybe she is eating for emotional reasons. I wish i could all all that crap all the time and stay super lean. dream world. lol. but i feel like you shouldnt push your dieting ways onto her. She isnt forcing you to diet so you shouldnt judge her. anyways, look at it as a challenge or a motivation.0
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aweful
Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?
Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.0 -
She will one day look in the mirror and realize that she needs to change her habit...I hope for her sake.!!!!!0
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I had a co-worker who would offer me some fruit at lunch time. At the time, I didn't take it. My peanut butter cups held more interest at the time, but I DID NOT FORGET HER PLEASANT ATTITUDE AND KIND GENEROUSITY!
When I was super overweight and depressed my mom used to bribe me to go for a walk with her by suggesting that we should go "window shopping" in the evenings. We'd walk downtown (past the ocean- beautiful!) and browse in the windows every night. After a few weeks I wanted to do more walking than browsing. Clever!0
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