I hate to sound mean but......
Replies
-
I would say do nothing. People are going to do what they want to do. If someone suggested to me to change my eating habits before I was ready to, I would not have listened and I would have been very pissed off. It is up to her to change, not up to you to change her. At one point, people would have looked at my food choices and been repulsed as well. Thankfully no one said anything. People have to want to change.
THIS^^^^ I was up to 297lbs at 19 years old before I decided I wanted to change. Finally decided to do something about it and dropped 162 lbs!! Thank God I made that choice earlier in my life. I gained about 40 back in the last 4 years after getting married. So I am here to drop those 40 again. However, the choice had to be mine. I was told time and time again by family members that I needed to lose weight, but I didn't care. I had to make that choice. I admire you for wanting to help, but it could be taken offensively if she is not ready. Just continue to keep up your healthy lifestyle for yourself :happy:0 -
To the OP.. there are a lot of sheeple in the world.. it is expected to get responses such as some of the ones you have received. I have no doubt you'd like to help your coworker, I would want to do the same. It's just the question is, how to put it across.. like my prior post on here, would you let someone on the edge of a building jump? No.. so why is this any different?
Cosigned!
But I probably wouldn't say anything to her directly cause I'm really blunt but not a bully and you don't know why she eats like that. She probably already hates herself.
But You could do some indirect stuff like:
When ever she eats any of the junk food look at here like she farted.
Bring some fruit for a snack and start eating it in front of her and say in an exaggerated manner how awesome this fruit is.
Tell her about the thread on MFP where the women were talking about how they have orgasms while exercising.0 -
Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
Simply asking would be: What would you do if you saw a really overweight co-worker eating really unhealthy foods all the time? Would you say something?
You didn't simply ask - you gave a detailed listing of your co-worker's food choices and told the world you find her repulsive. You get back the kindness you put out into the world.0 -
There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.
Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.
Word.0 -
Honestly, unless she asks for your input I would mind your business. It should be motivating not discouraging.0
-
You all are right!.
Its just very frustrating to see. I would be pissed if anyone said anything to me about my eating habits.
Then WHY are you sitting in judgement over her? Worry about yourself and YOUR eating habits.0 -
I'm having a similar issue with my mother. After 37 years as the only child of a single mother, we have a VERY tight relationship. Which means that I KNOW how difficult and potentially devastating my non-judgemental judgement (I don't remember who used that term, but thank you!) of her would be.
What I choose to do is get healthy myself and talk to my kids about healthy choices openly. So I might talk about it right in front of her, but I don't say, "Hey mom, mix in a few veggies and cut out the soda!"
She made a quick dinner the other night for my 8yo son - turkey and rice. So I asked my son what fruit or veggies he had. As he looked at his plate, my mom said that he had strawberries with breakfast. I said to my son, "Dude, you need veggies with every meal. Do you want carrots, an apple or salad?" and I said it like 'here are your choices, pick one' instead of 'would you like one?' She rolled her eyes, but he lit up and asked for a salad. I made my point without saying a word to my mom.
As for your coworker, I have to agree with most of these responses that you shouldn't approach her directly. If you lead by example, she might come to you and say "How did you do it?" at which time you can respond with the courtesy and compassion you'd hope to receive if your places were reversed.0 -
aweful
Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?
Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.
How much time have you spent pointing out what you beleive to be the OP's faults? Are you the pot or kettle?
BTW - no little red lines show up on the MFP app I use. Typos are a part of life on the internet. Nothing to get your panties in a wad about.0 -
Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
I have learned that for a site where we are all here to get healthy and support each other, there are a lot of mean people on here that will call you out on the smallest things. You really didn't mean to be mean, you were just being human. I love how everyone that is giving you such a hard time is acting so 'high and mighty' like they've NEVER done the same thing.
So, I'm assuming that all of you who are calling her out have NEVER looked at another human being, and formed some type of opinion? Whether it be that they're overweight? Too skinny? You don't like what they're wearing? Their hairstyle? Wow...you all must be saints! Amazing!0 -
Same deal with smokers... There is no point, just keep living your life... I hate when people try to convert me (door to door religion)... Lol0
-
Why would you post something about your overweight coworker when you are overweight yourself? Concentrate on your own weight. You don't have a clue if she has medical problems, nor have you walked a day in her shoes. Your post comes off as very mean spirited.
Yes I do know that she has medical issues because she has said something to me about it before. And Im not trying to be mean at all!!!
I guess If I ever see her ready to jump of a bridge I should just mind my business then too.
Maybe Ill send some flowers to the funeral and let the family know I let it happen.
You people wouldbe surprised on what the smallest amount of impact can make on a person!
Good Day People!
Ask yourself: "if my coworker saw my original post in this thread, would her feelings be hurt?" I'd be willing to bet it's a resounding YES!!!! That does make it kind of mean...
I disagree. Asking a internet fitness community what they would do when faced with a situation of a co-worker literally eating themselves into sickness doesn't seem mean to me. Though many of the replies have certainly been mean.
You would be pleased, then, if you were the overweight coworker to find a great fitness site, and then read the board and see that your coworker had written this about you? You would be happy. No hurt feelings? Surely you jest...or lack the empathic feelings it requires to put yourself into that person's shoes.
The coworker probably doesn't want her "dirty laundry" aired all over the internet by some person she feels obliged to say good morning to every day.
Whatever!!!0 -
I agree with a lot of people on here about not saying anything directly to her about her eating habits. However, if you have one of those cubicle environments that is like mine, where people bring food every now and again to share, maybe bring some healthy snacks to share occasionally (for instance, someone here makes a pretty low cal zucchini chocolate bread). We do this ALL the time in my office. If I find something that is amazing, I usually bring it in and talk with my office mates about it. Maybe if she is subtly exposed to some good, healthier eats, she will come to you and ask you for recipes, etc. It could be what makes her more motivated to eat better....and if not, well, I bet the other folks in the office will love you for feeding them yummy snacks!0
-
Ah, yes. Criticizing spelling, rather than content. Always a mature and productive approach. :flowerforyou:aweful
Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?
Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.0 -
My life experience tells me not to get involved....It has a way of biting you right in the *kitten* somehow (even if your intentions on good). There really isn't anything you can say anyway everyone has to been in the right frame of mind mentally before starting this venture. Saying something and her taking it negitivally may set her back even further.
) 0 -
WOW op's getting a hard time here when all she wants to do is help a co-worker. Normally i have all the tact and diplomacy of a sledge hammer so i can empathise with your situation. If you really want to say something why not tell her about your own 8lb loss and how it was so easy to do using MFP. If she decides to look at the site then she may change, if she doesn't then at least you can say you tried. Just make sure you are telling her about your achievement and not telling her to change.
Also see if you can have this thread deleted first :noway:0 -
honestly this breaks my heart, she's literally killing herself in front of you0
-
Ah, yes. Criticizing spelling, rather than content. Always a mature and productive approach. :flowerforyou:aweful
Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?
Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.
Love this! Thanks for saying it. 0 -
We are all on here for a simular problem. Maybe in different degrees of overeating and unhealthyness but still the same. I don't think of anything more hurtful that to bring it to a persons attention about their weight no matter how well meaning you are. All you can do is be a freind and maybe one day they will take from you lead. You never know what a person is going thru that might feed the eating habit. Please don't say anything to this person. Even when the doctor would say something about how unhealthy my weight was it was hurtful.0
-
There's nothing worse than someone on a mission.
Just leave it. It's none of your business. Lead by example. Keep it simple.
This^^^. Your actions are so much louder than your words anyway 0 -
I DISAGREE with all of the people who say "IGNORE her, carry on with yourself".. (sheeple)
I would do subtle things "hey you want to go for a walk here with me .. or want to hit up this restaurant (one that has healthier choices).." then once you get to talking and she tells you about her life and you tell her about your life, maybe say something about being on MFP and how you're doing well.. NOT selling it.. but just along those lines of just have A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION.. then what she does is up to her. IF YOU'RE really up for genuinely helping her...0 -
Its not aweful to continuously abuse your body when you KNOW and express to other that you have health issues from your own habits???!!!
Oh ok!!!!
Maybe Ill wait until she comes to work drunk to try to extend a helping hand!Sounds like you're nonjudgmentally judging her. You've seen what she eats often enough to know she's not eating well, but it really isn't your place to say anything about it unless she asks. Just look after yourself and maybe she'll notice your improvements health wise and want to know how you're doing it and then you can tell her to go easy on the fast food and that she'd be better served learning how to cook her own food.
This is what I would say. It never is a good idea to give (a negative) opinion unless someone asks for it. The only time I might do/say something is if someone was involved in an abusive relationship, or doing drugs/abusing alcohol (or something awful like that)...
I was not being rude to you, so I don't understand why I am getting a feeling of rudeness directed to me? (If that was not your intention, than I apologize)
I honestly understand why you'd want to help someone in that position, I have family members and friends in poor health--but coming from personal experience it makes it worse to give your opinion or offer help on the matter. Most will block your advice, push you away, and the habits get worse. Being an example by living/doing healthy has always worked better for me.
I've never gone up to someone I don't really know in such a situation. maybe it will be different, but at least the people who know you -know you are coming from a place of love. This person does not know you or your heart, and may take it as an attack pure and simple.
If you feel that is best to say something, than go for it--offer your advice/opinion in love and support. Good luck.0 -
I listed an example of what she might eat to give an idea. And trust me I am NOT looking from kindness from any of YOU!Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
Simply asking would be: What would you do if you saw a really overweight co-worker eating really unhealthy foods all the time? Would you say something?
You didn't simply ask - you gave a detailed listing of your co-worker's food choices and told the world you find her repulsive. You get back the kindness you put out into the world.0 -
I wouldn't do anything except keep eating my helthy food around her and losing my weight and maybe she'll be inspired too.
I tried to get my best friend to eat healthy with me. and she didn't want to and then went home and ate a klondike bar. And she was a friends so again just let your change and healthy habits speak for themselves and hopefully inspire her. 0 -
We are all human. We judge.
We have to know between right and wrong and we must use our senses to JUDGE along the way. We see someone making bad choices and we ought to be aware that they are making bad choices for our own self preservation to not make the same mistakes.
I see the headlines in the news almost every day and I am disgusted by some of the things people do in this world. It's my right to think that way and I don't think I am a bad person because of it. Anyone who says they don't EVER judge I would be skeptical of. I mean let's face it, how many people have said condescending things about you for "judging" so far? It's laughable.
If I saw someone doing drugs and destroying themselves and hurting their loved ones, I would probably feel the same way you do about this woman. I would worry. I would come to the conclusion that it's a disgusting destroying habit, stay away from it, and move on. Actually I have seen the effects of drugs on a coworker. People wouldn't accept food from her when she handed it to them because of her appearance. It's obvious. She looked disgusting. She twitched, had bad hygiene, was missing most of her teeth, look 65 at 40 something, could hardly talk straight. I could tell on the days she was using. Management talked to the rest of us about having all of us randomly tested for drugs because it was becoming a problem and they needed a legal way to fire her. I felt bad for her because I know she was supporting family members and needed that job. I couldn't help her and I couldn't save her from herself.
People facing addictions (food falls into this category too), already know the truth. They just can't be bothered to change. Saying something would only hurt her and mostly likely hasten her path to self destruction. Be a buddy. Be casual. Bring things up about your efforts, don't push, and maybe something will happen. Whatever you do, don't hurt her.0 -
Sounds just like me before I started this journey. Stop being so judgey of someone who isn't in the same place you are now. You have your own problems with food, or you wouldn't be here.0
-
somebody's else's failures. ?? :laugh:aweful
Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?
Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.0 -
Also,
I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!
I have learned that for a site where we are all here to get healthy and support each other, there are a lot of mean people on here that will call you out on the smallest things. You really didn't mean to be mean, you were just being human. I love how everyone that is giving you such a hard time is acting so 'high and mighty' like they've NEVER done the same thing.
So, I'm assuming that all of you who are calling her out have NEVER looked at another human being, and formed some type of opinion? Whether it be that they're overweight? Too skinny? You don't like what they're wearing? Their hairstyle? Wow...you all must be saints! Amazing!
agreed...0 -
If the opportunity developes, you could just say "I have been eating very healthy foods and I am feeling so wonderful that I just wanted to tell someone and I am even losing weight." You may or may not want to say the last part, but the feeling so wonderful and maybe healthy might just plant a seed. Do not say anything about her doing it; just plant the seed. k0
-
I have had gastric by-pass surgery (rou-en-y) and when I see someone morbidly obese, I so want to reach our to them, but I know they would more than likely be offended. I know I would have been and was when my sister suggested to me to have the surgery. I cannot stand to watch other people eat, esp. if they get a big fork full and stuff it in their mouths. I let people know to start with that I know it is the way they eat but since I have had surgery it makes me sick so if I don't look at them during the meal not to be offended. I have a small stomach therefore I have to take small bites, but it doesn't mean you do, so I just learned to quit looking at people when they are eating.
Now I have gone as far as to tell my doctor that so in so is seeing you today or at least they are in your waiting room and you really should suggest weight loss surgery. He has done so a few times, too, since I had mine. He was against me having it, but since he has watched me, he is now all for it. I try to set by example and if the opportunity arises I let people know I have had the surgery in hopes they will ask me about it, but I would never suggest it to them.0 -
I know so many people just like that at my job. I mind my own business every single time. Until they want to change, any help I offer would fall onto deaf ears. I have one coworker specifically who talks with me all the time about wanting to get healthy, and she will even acknowledge her eating habits are bad (they are similar to the woman you describe), but no long term change ever happens.
Lead by example, use them for motivation to keep at your hard work if you need to, but it's a sensitive issue, so I would recommend giving advice only when specifically solicited.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions