Need Advice- My daughter needs to lose weight!

WendyA1119
WendyA1119 Posts: 53
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello All,

I am on my weight loss journey to reclaim my health and body for the better. However, my 16 year old daughter is also in need of her own journey to better health and I am having trouble motivating her. She is 56lbs overweight and the Dr said we need to get her weight down in the next year. Slow and steady. The problem is, she is not motivated at all to do much of anything. I am trying not to make it a huge deal so she doesn't get a complex or even rebel. But my suggestions of dance class, personal trainer, Home DVD's do nothing. All she wants to do is sit on the PC and chat with her friends on FB all day. How would you guys suggest is the best way to handle this tough and touchy situation the best way possible?
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Replies

  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
    Maybe take her to a few high school games like volleyball, basketball or softball to see if you can spark her interest? Does she have any friends that are into sports? It just has to be fun to her. Good luck!!! :)
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Studies have shown that kids will emulate their friends -- ie an kid with active friends will be more active.
    So get her off the computer, and have her spend time with her friends face to face. Offer to take her to the beach, to a waterpark, someplace where there is activity -- even if it is just walking on the boardwalk, or the mall.


    Also, she is 16. Make her get a summer job for 10-12 hrs a week, even if it is unpaid volunteer work. Get her outside the house.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    sparkteens.com

    MFP for teens
  • AimersBee
    AimersBee Posts: 775 Member
    Something along the lines of, for every 30 min you spend on the computer/infront of the TV you have to do an hour of some sort of activity.. pick what it is.. over-weight or healthy weight my mom would make me get outside and get active when I was younger..
  • laurenbausch
    laurenbausch Posts: 146
    If she's into games, maybe things like Wii Fit or Dance Central. Even my brother loves the dance games, which is absolutely hilarious. He made me promise not to tell his friends he loves Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"! That game will whoop your butt, but it's so much fun!
  • Patg2728
    Patg2728 Posts: 9 Member
    just walk together . but do it without here knowing zoo, shopping , paddle boating in a park lake if you have one . wii fit or games that make you move. and make esating right a game if you eat the fewest cal in a day you get the money or pick the movie .
  • Kooraloo
    Kooraloo Posts: 362 Member
    I agree with the above poster's suggestion about sports! Also, force her into the gym with you! She might be resisting now because she doesn't think she'll enjoy working out BUT maybe if you take her with you might learn that she likes it!
  • thirdday70x7
    thirdday70x7 Posts: 13 Member
    Does she like going to the mall or anything? You could take her and just walk around and window shop. Take her on everyday errands where there is alot of movement involved (ie grocery shopping).
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Do you have a gaming system, like Wii or PS3? I got my daughter Zumba and she loves it! Maybe you could do it together.
  • BandForAlyAnne
    BandForAlyAnne Posts: 321 Member
    martial arts might intrest her if shes not already too self conscious. honestly other than trying to get her into a sport i have no idea. when i was overweight as a teen nothing in the world could have made me change until i was ready. didnt help that all motivation was coming from my mom who did nothing to fix her own weight problems.
  • Tourney3p0
    Tourney3p0 Posts: 290 Member
    Physical activity is definitely going to be preferred, but it's not necessary for losing weight.

    Buy/prepare less food. If she's not overeating, she's going to lose weight.
  • Pomoch325
    Pomoch325 Posts: 63 Member
    continue cooking her healthy meals, get rid of the junk in the house and replace it with healthy snacks, and lead by example. She needs to make the decision herself, really.
  • buffybabe
    buffybabe Posts: 180 Member
    Does she not want to work out together? My sister is 16 and her doctor has recommended she become more active. She is not overweight, just has some health issues that a more active lifestyle would be benificial to. My mom tries to get her to do workout videos, etc but she will have nothing of it. She is staying with me for the summer and I suggested she get a membership at my gym and we can go daily together. She honestly loved the idea; maybe your daughter just wants someone to workout WITH her?
  • scarlet_goddess13
    scarlet_goddess13 Posts: 38
    definately love this idea! She needs to be able to get up and do something.

    Also, change the whole food situation around in the house if you haven't already. Portion control is key. Even at food joint, i measure my food. People look at me weird but it works
  • LilJenn510
    LilJenn510 Posts: 14 Member
    I know it's easier said than done.. but limit the PC time! Allow her 1 hr a day.. and have her earn more time by doing healthy/positive things! Chores are exercise! Great way to earn more PC time and get active!
    I learned a long time ago that some kids just aren't into sports, which makes it extremely difficult to get them active! Good Luck and I'll be looking to see the outcome!
  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 639 Member
    You guys can take zumba together or go for a walk every night together. Don't have any junky foods in the house like chips/ice cream.
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
    Sometimes you have to step up and be the parent. Regardless of her weight, staring at a screen all the time isn't good for her. I would start with limiting the computer time!
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    First and foremost, make sure that she doesn't see exercise as a punishment for being overweight - that's how I felt when I was younger and it took me years to enjoy exercise. She might feel like she's not good at it, she'll look ridiculous exercising, etc.

    I would absolutely limit her screen time. She shouldn't be allowed to sit at the computer all day - an hour a day (including tv and computer) is plenty. Without that as an option she might be more interested in doing something else. But again, that rule should apply to everyone; she shouldn't be punished for her weight by limiting her computer time. It's just not healthy for anyone!

    For now, just take her for a walk with you. Ask her to join you for company. My dad did that with me and that was probably the best thing anyone could have done. Going for a walk doesn't seem intimidating, but "working out" sure does!
  • unluckyIrish
    unluckyIrish Posts: 121 Member
    I would also suggest Zumba. Maybe as an activity the two of you can do together. It is a lot of fun and a great workout at the same time.
  • Shweedog
    Shweedog Posts: 883 Member
    Make sure there's no junk in the house. At least you can manage what she eats while she is at home. My hubby is trying to lose weight so we make sure not to have any snacky foods around (chips, cookies, etc). If he is hungry he actually has to prepare his food. This makes him think twice as to whether or not he is truly hungry or just "snacky". And the foods we have to prepare are healthier choices. Good luck!!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Another idea could be giving her a ticket system, and for every hour of activity she gets a ticket. If she gets 5 tickets in a week, she gets to choose something fun to do, like going to a movie or the mall.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    My older kids are 7 and 8. My son is a little overweight (about 8 lbs. but on an 8 yr old, that's over 10% of his body weight).

    All I've been doing for my son is reducing his food intake (he eats mostly healthily, just too much volume) and increasing activity. For the activity portion, since I'm getting in shape, are fairly easy. I take them to the park. We go for walks in the park. We go for bike rides in the park. I can see where that would be more difficult with a 16 yr old though. My kids CAN'T stay home alone LOL.

    Have you considered limiting her screen time and having her earn it with activity? Something like 'hey, come for a bike ride with me and you can earn equal time on the computer'.
  • AimersBee
    AimersBee Posts: 775 Member
    Physical activity is definitely going to be preferred, but it's not necessary for losing weight.

    Buy/prepare less food. If she's not overeating, she's going to lose weight.

    Agreed, healthier food in the home.. get rid of all the junk.. (although she is at an age where she could buy food that isn't the healthiest).. at least it would lower the not-so-healthy food significantly..
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    First is to really stress the health aspect. Then make her do things with you -- swim, hike, stuff that doesn't eeem like formal exercise.

    I totally feel your pain and was in the same boat. My daughter finally took control when SHE was ready. I made sure she had the tools and she's taken it from there. She's lost 20 pounds.
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
    continue cooking her healthy meals, get rid of the junk in the house and replace it with healthy snacks, and lead by example. She needs to make the decision herself, really.
    This is so important! She won't do it unless she wants to. It is her choice & her responsibility.
    My parents tried to make me lose weight and it made the whole problem worse for many years. You can only do it for yourself & cheer her on when she decides for herself!!
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    At 16, there's not much you can do. Really. You need to lead by example. Make healthy food choices, don't bring junk into the house. Ask her to join you for a walk, or go to the gym for a yoga class or something. But if she won't exercise, then the food calories need to be cut. No cakes, no cookies, no chips. Lots of fruit and veggies. Salads as sides for meals. I'm assuming you control the food in the house.
  • jwilson2001
    jwilson2001 Posts: 80 Member
    Agree with some of the others - get the junk food out of the house and since you are probably preparing the food, she should be eating healthier. That is a start. Then, make the exercise fun using games...the wii is really great.
  • Wonderwoman2677
    Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 428 Member
    tough love... nobody said parenting would be easy. Take the PC and phone away and let those be her motivators. If she's not going to take care of business (diet and exercise) she doesn't deserve the perks. I do that with my own kids for chores, etc... why not this most important aspect of her life? Give her an hour of PC time for an hour of exercise.

    You don't have to give her a complex to be very truthful about her HEALTH. Don't make it just about her weight. Tell her it's time to change and that even though it may be late, you're realizing that she has not learned some healthy habits. I am going through the same thing with my daughter (13). Luckily she does like sports but in the off season I see her weight start to creep back up.

    Be her #1 role model. If you don't want her to eat certain things don't have them in the house. Let her see you exercising.

    Good luck!
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    There are a lot of physically active video games if she has any systems, you could get her a bike if she doesn't have one, walk the mall together once or twice a week for an hour and just window shop along the way. I also second having her get a job of some sort even if it's part time. It's 4 hours she's off her butt doing something and it'll look great on a resume or, if she chooses to volunteer like at a soup kitchen, it can look good on a college application. You can try doing things together but that depends on how close you two are right now.

    Really it just comes down to if she wants to. If she knows she's not a healthy weight or leading a healthy lifestyle and is too lazy or doesn't really care, you can't do much for her. She's old enough to figure things out on her own.
  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
    Mother of 4 teens here.

    1. Don't buy any snack food.
    2. Don't tell her to diet. She won't.
    3. Remove computer, cellphone, all means of internet from her possession. Give it to her for like 1-2 hours a day.

    She will get up and get out of house. Maybe she'll walk the neighborhood with her friends instead of texting. If she still won't get out, then give her house chores to get exercise. Your not being mean, your being a good mom (not friend). :)

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