Need Advice- My daughter needs to lose weight!

Book a badminton court for you and her to have a knock around. Ask her to invite a couple of friends for a game of doubles. Even if they just have a laugh, it's a start, she might like it

Bowling - more active than sat on the PC, fun for you and her too

Swimming is usually fun, have a splash about with her in the pool

Has she a bike? "Don't plan anything for Saturday morning, we're going for a bike ride"

Ok here's a bold one! Ask if she would like a puppy - how could she refuse! Stipulate that it will need walking twice a day!

Most involve a lot of effort (and expense) from you though, but you knew it wouldn't be easy - and think of the great rewards! Good luck

The biggest battle is won in the kitchen. Perhaps initially concentrate on making healthy filling nutrient-rich meals and snacks. Incorporating fun outdoor activities that your entire family can enjoy is one way to disguise exercise.

Take her on walks! Maybe on weekend or after school some days, go on hikes together and chat.

I've been overweight my whole life. Basically she's not going to do it until SHE'S ready. You can want it for her BADLY but she isn't going to be committed to it until she's ready to make the changes herself. Just be patient =]

Take her window shopping...and then walk the whole darn mall back and forth 4 times...that'll burn a lot and she won't even notice...and stopping occassionally to try on clothes that would just fit a TAD better should she work on some body definition, may give her the kick in the pants she needs.

I agree with the above poster's suggestion about sports! Also, force her into the gym with you! She might be resisting now because she doesn't think she'll enjoy working out BUT maybe if you take her with you might learn that she likes it!

Dont ever force a teenage girl into a gym!! Well unless you want her to become even larger and more unhappy! Encouragement and asking her to help you by working out together works better. Teenagers have enough negative people around them. Remember she has to do it for herself by forcing her you are only going to hurt her. YOU ARE SAFE PLACE! Good luck I hope it goes well and you both lose the weight.

Actually, that's how my mom first got me into the gym. She forced me in and I started to love it But i know that all people are different so it might not work for everyone...

I agree with the above poster's suggestion about sports! Also, force her into the gym with you! She might be resisting now because she doesn't think she'll enjoy working out BUT maybe if you take her with you might learn that she likes it!

Or she'll learn to hate it even more.

You can't force her to do anything at this point--even if you physically can, it's likely to damage your relationship, and, as you say, cause her to rebel. What you can do is buy and prepare healthier food at home, set a good example, and encourage her to partake in other activities. Invite her to the gym, but don't force her, invite her on walks, try games if you think she'll like it. In the end, this has to be her decision though, otherwise, it will only create friction and have no lasting impact.

I lot of people have said it already, but here's my 2 cents.

First and foremost, you can't force her to do it. She has to be willing to do it and she has to WANT to do it for herself. Second, you can certainly choose not to enable her. By this, I mean purchase only healthy foods. Get her to help you cook the healthy foods so she learns about choices. Talk to her about the changes you are making for yourself and why you are doing it.

Invite her with you when you do exercise. You may have to do this 100 or a 1000 times before she takes you up on it, but keep asking in a friendly, positive way every time you go. Talk about what you enjoy about exercising.

Finally, and probably what would be hardest for me, don't overwhelm her with all of this. Go slow. She might not ever get it. But, all you can do is encourage her to make the healthy decisions.

Bottom line: she is only 16 and still under YOUR roof. If she's that difficult and won't find motivatation to get some sort of exercise you make her get a job to pay for that FB with friends, etc. I was handed absolutely nothing in life, so I have no sympathy for those who got things handed to them (i.e the internet, tv, etc). You've done the offering and she has not stepped up. Now it is time for mom to do something about it. I hope you get her butt in gear and make her realize her life is in jepordy.

By the way - Great job on your life changes! MFP is very welcoming and we love to see people reaching for success =D

Studies have shown that kids will emulate their friends -- ie an kid with active friends will be more active.
So get her off the computer, and have her spend time with her friends face to face. Offer to take her to the beach, to a waterpark, someplace where there is activity -- even if it is just walking on the boardwalk, or the mall.


Also, she is 16. Make her get a summer job for 10-12 hrs a week, even if it is unpaid volunteer work. Get her outside the house.

Definitely something like this. Also, make sure you are definitely cooking healthier meals at home and buying less junk food.

Change her diet... you don't have to tell her you are, just stop getting processed/quick foods, more veggies and fruit in the house, more veggies with dinner and smaller meat and starch portions...

Just changing taking out processed foods should help (no kraft dinner, canned soups and such.. nothing in boxes and cans...) cook from scratch.

change the bread from white to whole wheat. make snack foods veggies...

I lot of people have said it already, but here's my 2 cents.

First and foremost, you can't force her to do it. She has to be willing to do it and she has to WANT to do it for herself. Second, you can certainly choose not to enable her. By this, I mean purchase only healthy foods. Get her to help you cook the healthy foods so she learns about choices. Talk to her about the changes you are making for yourself and why you are doing it.

Invite her with you when you do exercise. You may have to do this 100 or a 1000 times before she takes you up on it, but keep asking in a friendly, positive way every time you go. Talk about what you enjoy about exercising.

Finally, and probably what would be hardest for me, don't overwhelm her with all of this. Go slow. She might not ever get it. But, all you can do is encourage her to make the healthy decisions.

Beautifully said!

Lead by example.

just walk together . but do it without here knowing zoo, shopping , paddle boating in a park lake if you have one . wii fit or games that make you move. and make esating right a game if you eat the fewest cal in a day you get the money or pick the movie .

I like this idea. Make it about you and not her. Tell her that you want to get healthy but you need a workout buddy. Ask her to go on walks with you and try to do a lot of activities together. Maybe you could even have a little competition and say at the end of summer whoever loses the most or whoever has the most activity (depending where you want the focus) can choose a mother/daughter treat such as a pedicure or movie. I think you can use it to get closer to your daughter and teach her to be more active.

I posted the same issue about a year ago. (Do search on" teen daughter weight", several topics have been posted with lots of great advice). My daugher is 16, non-athletic, loves to play guitar and sing for hours, or is looking up videos on youtube learning new songs. I did get her a gym membership and she was going fairly regulary with her friends before summer break (they would walk to gym after school and she can also walk to gym from our house). This has helped some..but her diet is still an issue.

My question to EVERYONE who is saying "get all of the junk out of the house" is how to you handle a "mixed" household? My daughter and I are battling weight and my son and husband struggle to GAIN weight. SO..we have healthy options and I don't cook fried or starchy foods. (my husband was raised on typical southern country cuisine-red meat, white bread, and fried potatoes. Cake for dessert every meal, and little produce. So..my refusal to cook "heavy" foods (fried, fatty, creamy, etc) has caused a few fights in the past few years as my daughter started gaining weight and I changed my cooking habits to reduce temptation).

However, when I'm not in charge of dinner (have a meeting after work or something), they always make mac-n-cheese or biscuits and gravy. I DO make my husband keep the Debbie cakes and candy he takes to work for break in his truck in the winter and in his dresser in the summer. He gets them out for him and my son. NOt having them in kitchen DOES keep them out of sight.

I agree that it has to be HER choice. Mydaughter's Dr has talked to her two times in past year, offered nutritionist referral (my daughter declined). Her weight (esp her huge chest) is now hurting her back and I took her to my wonderful chiro who tactfully explained what weight was doing to her spine. (hold a 10 lb flour sack right next to your navel, then hold it out a few inches, then out a few inches more..you can see how the further out the weight is from your body...aka big belly or boobs..the more it hurts/pulls your back). He stressed no sodas, "clean" eating, and most importantly TONE THE CORE. This will hold your back in the correct position.

She finally mentioned to my mom that she knows her weight is her back problem. However, she gets all touchy and sensitive if I say something to her. So..all I can do is set a good example, eat healthy, get real excited when she does go to gym with me, and get real excited to "share" my "new found" produce recipes with her.

I DID let her join MFP too..with fake age date. Just so she can log on her ipod. She's friends with a few select people I know and I monitor her use just like with FB. Good luck!