Need Advice- My daughter needs to lose weight!

This may have been mentioned before, but whole family activities would be great, as well as making sure you hold everyone else to the same nutritional and exercise standards as you hold her, whether you think they need it or not. The most infuriating thing for years was that my mother would imply and needle and tell me to lose weight and eat this and do that, and I hated her for insulting me like that. What made it worse was that my skinny sister was allowed to eat whatever she wanted and just laze on the couch because she didn't gain any weight, and my mother never stayed with a diet for more than a few weeks.

Don't single out your daughter, because she will become resentful. Instead, you all need to make a decision to become a healthier family. That means no more cookies for anyone, and you all go out and do physical activity on a regular basis.

I've been overweight my whole life. Basically she's not going to do it until SHE'S ready. You can want it for her BADLY but she isn't going to be committed to it until she's ready to make the changes herself. Just be patient =]

Agreed. Don't force her, or nag about it. It will only make her resist more. She'll know when she's ready. In the meantime prepare healthy meals, and ask her to join you for a walk like another poster mentioned.

Simple. DISCONNECT ALL TECHNOLOGY in the house. Then have her go for walks with you. As for eating...She needs to eat what you do.

Remove junk from the house, replace it with fruit, veg, lean protein sources. Buy her a months gym membership and go with her - if she doesn't like it, cancel the plan.

I have a 17yr old who is also about 40lbs over. First - there is a reason why - but she may not know it or does not want to share it with you. Second - teenagers are LAZY. My daughter has played soccer and basketball since she was in the third grade so it does not matter if they sit in front of the PC or play sports - it is more than activity. For us - It was OUR household LIFESTYLE that I raised her in and I had to implement a CHANGE for her to understand. My daughter needed to understand how to Eat to Live and not Live to Eat.
Your daughter is old enough to work but stay away from fast food. Try hospital volunteer program to see if that will peak her interest; if not, animal shelters, retirement communities, youth building programs, big sister programs, etc. As a parent it is hard to motivate our children and at her age, it is NOW time to NOT be a friend.

Finally - everyone has a different metabolism and she (with your help) has to figure out what will work for her. Currently, I am working with my daughter to increase her curfew by 30 mins for every ten pounds she loses. If she gains then the curfew increase is cut back. You just have to figure out what will motivate her. If it is PC time, then figure out how to incorporate that into her training program.
Her food plan is three small meals and three snacks - her calorie intake is no more than 1200 a day unless she has a major cardio workout then calories are added to her daily intake. Simple MATH - More calories burned = more calories she gets to eat with the right amount of fats, carbs, & proteins.

Good Luck - teenagers are hardwork.

My 12-yr old daughter was the same way....I had to make it count because she too is overweight and needs to lose about 60 lbs. First thing I did? Put a timer on the television. After 30 minutes, it turns off...I also unplugged the PC and grounded her from it for the summer. (we also had an issue with grades last year) I then told her she had $100.00 to use however she want BUT it had to be an activity of some sort. She decided to choose softball this summer.

So far, she has made a lot of new friends who are active and fit (and incredibly friendly and understanding). They now make plans to be active on the weekends (ie..coming to our house to swim, etc). Since there is no electronic that she can use as she also managed to lose her handheld devices too (ie...mom hid them in the closet one day when she didn't clean her room and now they'll stay there the rest of the summer), when we are home she goes outside and plays.

For a 16-yr old, I'd recommend an unplug experiment in the entire house. Put the cable on a seasonal suspend, unplug the computers, and hide all the video games. Have a household challenge to be "electronics free" for the rest of the summer. Plan outings like walks, swimming, etc and ensure that you have planned healthy meals that you eat together. She will emulate what you are doing even if she doesn't want to because she's a teen and moms are "lame".

Drop her off at the community swimming pool and tell her you'll be back in a few hours, and also get her enrolled in a volunteer program. She'll want community service on her record when she applies for college...in fact many universities give preference to kids with volunteer activities, and most scholarships require community service. Make sure her community service is something active...like raking yards, cleaning parks, etc.

Hope this helps! Just don't push too hard...get her going in the right direction and it will roll downhill.

"Stay friends with her??? I don't think so, they aren't friends, she is her Mother."

Yes, she is her mother and not just her friend. There IS an authority component.

However, the time for authority expressed primarily thru control ("do what I say because I said it") is when children are young. Authority needs to be expressed primarily thru influence ("this is a better way, try it") when kids are older. There are a host of reasons why it is this way. For one, a 16 year old kid usually has a car; take the car, they have friends, etc. It is very difficult to control a teenager who does not wish to be controlled because you usually have to up the ante and that produces a lot of excess negative emotion totally unrelated to the real issue you are trying to address. Point being, the most effective way to express authority with teenagers is thru influence and influence with kids requires relationship, i.e. friendship.

My wife and I learned this years ago when we had three teenage daughters and read a book called "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp. It was a game-changer for us - and for them.

I would also add in response to the OP that the best way to lead a teenager to change their life for the better in some way ... is to change your own. Your signature shows that you are 6lbs down. It's very hard but I would suggest you keep quiet about anything related to weight loss until you have reached 15-20 yourself. Take the log out of your own eye before you try to pick the speck out of hers. You'll have a lot more credibility when you do.

Peace

16 is a tough age... I was only 16 four years ago. But if you want to be serious with her take the computer out of her room (if it's in her room) or turn the router off during periods of the day so she can't use the internet.

When I was sixteen I thought about exercising but being self-conscious and shy made me not do it. If my mom asked me to go for a walk with her I would, because we never get to do anything alone together for bonding. Right now if she joined a gym, I'd go with her for sure! But gym memberships are too much now...

If you know any of her friends suggest to them to go for a hike, and/or even swimming. I enjoy hiking because I like taking pictures and after a nice hike you just want to jump in a pool!

But also if she's not motivated to do anything it's going to be a battle!

Sorry if this idea has been mentioned previously, but I only got through pg 3 of the topic before work reared its ugly head.

Lots of people have mentioned cooking healthy foods, which is GREAT. My suggestion would be to have your daughter help you prepare the meals. Not only will this help teach her portion control and how to incorporate good foods into a meal, it will develop a needed lifelong skill at an early age. I work with university students, and I see SO MANY of them come to college and completely trash the eating habits established by their parents because of their freedom to choose ice cream, cookies, cake, pizza, etc. for every meal at the cafeteria. If you could work on healthier meals now, with her still being a couple of years from leaving the nest, it would (hopefully) be harder for her to break the pattern.

Good luck!!

I agree with everyone else, remove any junk food and replace it with healthier snacks.
Also, I would suggest that you make a new house rule of food only being allowed in the dinning room.
It will help her if she has a problem with over eating. She wont want to sit at the table and snack if that means she wont be able to talk with her friends.