Ideas on How to Get REAL-LIFE Friends

Try meetup.com . When I moved to a new city, I knew no one and all of my new best friends are from a group that I joined on the site.

I agree with an earlier comment about posting on here for people in your area. I don't really know you but I am sure you are a great person and others would enjoy hanging out with you

I hate making new friends. Half of them wind up being weird, and it's uncomfortable when you gotta cut 'em out.

But, some advice I was given is to just get out of your house. It doesn't matter what you do, but get out at least twice a week and do something. You will meet people if you stick with it. Make it similar to exercise, just get out and do it. You just wind up talking to people as you do things. '

I have a lot of bar friends. So, there's a local watering hole and almost anytime I can walk in there and know a few people. It's nice. And, I'm good friends with the bartenders too. Is that bad? LOL. So, that's nice to always have that in my back pocket. I've been going to that place for 20 years, so that's why.

Other than that little bit of advice, the only other thing that has worked for me is use the few friends you have. You know how you might have a friend, and they bring over another friend that you never met before? That's a good launching point for a new friend. And, then they probably know other people, and you can multiply it out quickly. My ex was a friend maker. Man, that girl can make a friend a day. It's amazing and I never really got it. But, one thing I've learned is that when you meet someone and you guys seem to like eachother, you have to call them right away and plan something with them. Otherwise, they lose interest. That's my problem, I never follow up and plan something. Ever. And, I hate the phone. Plus, doing anything with other guys is gay, unless you're just drinking and playing pool and picking up on chicks. But, I can't even imagine going to a movie with another guy. I mean, i Just don't know what to do with another guy. Vegas, and hooker and blow? That kind of thing. But, anything else seems gay, so that's my biggest issue. Other than debauchery, I don't know what to do with making friends with guys.

Women seem to have more latitude. You can go shopping, or see a movie, or go for a run together, or go hiking. All that *kitten* is gay with dudes. Ya, not gonna happen in my world.

Such a sad thread :,(

I run 2 bookclubs, because I to read. I meet really amazing people that way.

Also, I have always met lots of awesome girls through work, and I've always had best friends. (plural)

BUT, last year my very best bud had a high school moment and told me our friendship was over, so I've been looking for a bestie ever since.

I have had a few contenders vie but it turns out I am picky as hell.

I'm getting really lonely - my husband is my best friend but life is not really full without a best girlfriend to confide all my secrets in.:brokenheart:

In a weird way, it's nice to know that there are lots of people in this frame of mind. I don't think it has to do with TV and the internet. I think it's always been that way. At least, now we have an outlet and can make virtual friends.

Can I be honest here? I'm pretty busy most of the time. I get up, kids and I shower, I make breakfast, we all get dressed, we head out the door, they go to school, I go to work. I pick them up, go home, make dinner, workout, chill out, then get tired and go to bed. Same thing everyday. So, my weeks are jam packed usually.

The weekend comes, and the last thing I want to do is hang out with someone. I'm the type of person where people steal energy from me. So, it's very draining to be around people. Not that I don't want to, but I have to gear up for it and be ready and have the energy ready. Because of this, on the weekend, since the vampires stole all of my energy all week, it's hard for me to want to go hang out with someone. i just want to stay home and do my own thing. Sometimes I turn off my phone and keep the blinds shut so no one will bother me. By Sunday afternoon, I'm ready. But, as someone told me, I can't just have people around when I want them. I have to be ready for them when they want to also. So, often, it doesn't work for me.

I've also found that other people are really sensitive. I'm the type where I can not talk to someone for months, and just out of the blue call them and talk and to me it's awesome. But, I've had some people get all offended that I haven't talked to them in a while. I just don't have time for that *kitten* in my life. You know? Just grow up. I'm not going to call anyone every other day, or even every week. I just don't work that way. Also, I don't call to chat. I only call when something is going on or there's an activity or some kind of reason. i never call to just talk. I can't even imagine. I have a friend that does that and I never pick up. It's so boring. Just say what's happening where, and I'll try to be there. LOL.

Anyway, those are my things about friendship.

But, on the other side of it. for the friends I do have, I would kill for them. I would give them my last dollar and risk my life for them. So, I'm loyal and I'm a great friend. But, I'm not needy, and some people take that as I dont' care. But, the few that take the time to learn that about me, usually stick around a long time.

@ neverstray - there are lots of "dude" things to do besides hiking- there's fishing, bowling, poker night, go to a concert, darts - or leagues that you can join - dart league, bowling league, hockey, fantasy football, all sorts of stuff- and just having a guys night- go and shoot the heck outta some people playing paintball and stuff- lots of things.

I do get when you have kiddos things change, I've got 2 little guys, and the friend time isn't nearly as often, and usually that separates the families with kids from the friends without. the families with kids, you can schedule play dates, and stuff, we've had a dinner at the other couples house- where all the kiddos could play, and we had dinner, was fun, but haven't been able to schedule another one since.

to the OP and others- most of the people on here are right, you just have to come out of your shell a little bit, and find things that you enjoy - every year I try to learn something new- make a list of things you've always wanted to try, learn or do, and then get to work on accomplishing those things. I know in our area the community colleges and sometimes the Parks & Rec folks put out a summer class schedule - and you can sign up for all sorts of stuff- some of mine didn't involve that, but it doesn't hurt.

Car shows are also great places to meet people- you can join car clubs too, if you have a certain vehicle, hubs has a Camaro from the late 60s, and that always attracts lots of attention, and I have a PT Cruiser, and there was a little local car club here for PT Cruisers. sometimes you'll just have to approach someone and start up a conversation - usually women are very easy to befriend- find someone with an outfit, purse, or shoes you like, and tell her that, and ask a few questions- maybe let her know you'd value her opinion on a shopping trip. Also - like another person said in a previous post- go to the Mary Kay, Tupperware, Miche bag, Partylite and Pampered Chef parties- if you aren't getting invites, look them up on the internet for a local representative, and just ask if you can attend the next party they have at someone's home- I bet the host wouldn't mind one extra person, and then *Poof!* you have all sorts of new people to introduce yourself to - and let them know you're new in the area and have no clue what the fun things to do are...I'm sure you'll find someone willing to help you out!

Pick something you have always wanted to do and sign up for classes!! Cooking, dance, kickboxing...something! It's easier to make friends in smaller group settings that way!

i could steal some of these ideas...