Advice please...guys point of view as well

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  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
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    From a guy's point of view, even bad sex is good. He's just trying to get you in bed. Things have to move at a pace you are both comfortable with for a relationship to develop. Don't compromise on that. If he says goodbye, he was only in it for the sex and you're better off. If he says ok lets keep dating, he knows you have a backbone and will respect you for it.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
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    He's being a jerk. Not only does it sound like sex is the only thing he wants from the relationship, it sounds like he is saying if the sex isn't good the first time he's not willing to work at making it good.

    Good sex, like a good relationship, is give and take and sometimes takes a little time to know your partner's preferences.

    This. If it were me, I wouldn't give him the time of day ever again.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    Perhaps one of his relationships failed and he didn't find out till later that one of the reasons was because he was bad in the sack. Tell him you'll answer him when you find out?
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
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    Tell him you can provide references that vouch for how good it is :laugh:


    hahaha i like the way you think!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I don't see the issue here. You want one thing, he wants another. Time to say goodbye.

    I don't think he is being a douche by telling you right from the get go what he believes is important to him. Personally, I had the same viewpoint when I was single. Whilst I would have expressed myself differently I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with and I would have preferred to have found that out sooner rather than later.


    If you really liked a girl (as much as you possibly can after 2 dates) would you really risk turning her off by discussing sex so soon?

    I wouldn't "discuss" it per se but I would be straight forward and let it be known that sexual compatibility was an important part of a relationship to me right from the start.

    But yes, I would take the risk in that turning the women off and the relationship going no further. If two people aren't fundamentally on the same page on certain key issues what is the point of stringing something out which won't really work? I was never desperate enough for sex to pretend to be something I wasn't just so I could get it further down the line due to false pretenses.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Maybe he would settle for a mouth hug?

    ^^^^Ya see what he did there?^^^^^
  • melissab6968
    melissab6968 Posts: 56 Member
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    Total jerk! His attitude toward sex is demeaning and toxic!
  • Cander1
    Cander1 Posts: 3 Member
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    Ask him if the 50lbs that he lost was between his ears, and move on. You deserve respect and if sex is the first thing he thinks of well I believe that respect is a ways down the line,,,,,don't waste your time. Life is too short to waste it on idiots. : :flowerforyou:
  • ccarre81
    ccarre81 Posts: 134 Member
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    Give him the best night ever, then kick him to the curb and tell him it wasn't good enough! :devil:
  • reyopo
    reyopo Posts: 210 Member
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    Of course good sex is important, if not crucial to a good relationship. But he's an arrogant a**hole. Not only is he pressuring you into it (a totally presuming you WANT it in the first place!), he's pressuring you to be "good". As though he has no responsibility to make it good as well. Yeah, good luck with that, buddy! It's a set up for failure. What a d**k!
  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
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    He's being a jerk. Not only does it sound like sex is the only thing he wants from the relationship, it sounds like he is saying if the sex isn't good the first time he's not willing to work at making it good.

    Good sex, like a good relationship, is give and take and sometimes takes a little time to know your partner's preferences.

    I so agree with this!! Well said!

    I agree too.

    Yeah, I agree as well!!
  • mlwatts2
    mlwatts2 Posts: 247
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    At least he is being honest....
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    Run



    Fast
    yes!
  • Dawna954
    Dawna954 Posts: 183 Member
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    Not a chance I would give it up to him!
    I am somewhat of a hopeless romantic. Sex should be natural, beautiful and evolve between 2 people who move towards that intimate space.
    It definitely should NEVER EVER be about pressure or ultimatums.

    You have an inner voice for a reason. It protects you when your heart fails..... LISTEN TO IT AND STOP SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF!

    Good Luck to you!
  • YankeesLvr52
    YankeesLvr52 Posts: 64 Member
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    Dump him...he's an *kitten*!!!!
  • TiffanyWasmer
    TiffanyWasmer Posts: 190 Member
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    So...two days later and I want to know what happened! :devil:
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Good sex, like a good relationship, is give and take and sometimes takes a little time to know your partner's preferences.

    Very true.
  • builtforlife
    builtforlife Posts: 259
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    Dump him but don't be mean to him. He might just be telling you what he thinks he's SUPPOSED to say to a girl.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    He's being a jerk. Not only does it sound like sex is the only thing he wants from the relationship, it sounds like he is saying if the sex isn't good the first time he's not willing to work at making it good.

    Good sex, like a good relationship, is give and take and sometimes takes a little time to know your partner's preferences.

    I so agree with this too!!!!!
  • lynheff
    lynheff Posts: 393 Member
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    You should never feel blackmailed into having sex. Period. If that is his attitude, he is a jerk and you should be the one to move on. Good thing you found out what he is before you invested any more time in him! Good luck.

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