You know you drank too much when....

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Replies

  • builtforlife
    builtforlife Posts: 259
    When you come out of a blackout while walking down the frontage road of a highway at 7:30 a.m. in a town 10 miles away from your own, in socks and with blood on your shirt.
  • MarleeRayne
    MarleeRayne Posts: 32 Member
    This is freaking HILARIOUS!!!!!
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    i got so drunk with a friend a few years back and we sung karoke which i dont remeber ... and whats worse is my friend forgot thr words to happy birthday as we tied to sing it to another friend..gotta love cell phone video i am just glad it never made you tube
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
    When you wake up next to someone you don't know and all you do is check to see if your clothes are still on..... "Ok, i'm good. ":wink:

    I did this! Woke up and had no idea where I was or who was next to me! Fortunately I was fully clothed, but I had to check this guys ID to see who he was, turns out we were old school mates, but I didnt recognise him. Lost 4 hrs of my night that night and my handbag :grumble:
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    ...you wake up on your couch with no pants on, bruises on your knees and forearms, and you have white castle in your fridge.

    ...you pass out in the hallway on the floor butt naked cause you wanted to go to the bathroom, but didn't quite make it.

    ...you ask your husband to bring you a rice cake and Gatorade while you're still lying butt naked in the hallway cause you're too tired to move.

    ...the walk to Jimmy John's takes 10 minutes when it normally takes about 2.

    ...when you wake up in your dorm room on the floor, and the dude that lives on the floor below you is in your bed.

    ...McDonald's breakfast sounds like the best thing EVAR.


    i swear, i'm not an alcoholic.
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    When your partner tells you, you had the most amazIng intimate relations ever and you blew his mind but you don't remember a thing! Gutting! Lol x

    god i HATE when this happens!!
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    crap, i have another one:

    you wake up under a tarp covered in glitter with a bottle of Carlos Rossi next to you. and you have NO IDEA whose house you're in.


    god i miss college.
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
    when you and your girlfriend decide to run toward the falls by the circles in palm springs ( THERE ARE NO FALLS there at least ) and seeing as theres water decide to strip off clothes in the desert mind you , as you go.. only to run towards a campfire of men..who then start chasing your naked *kitten* as you scurry to retrace your steps and gather your clothes a car full of guy friends rescue you and say that they heard the boys yelling about the two naked chics running in the desert.. lol.. yipee.

    you decide its a good idea to rob a place to get money for your broken windshield.. and you get away with it while your friend smears ice cream EVERYWHERE.

    you wake up in the ER naked ..and the cop tell you its good to go home you go to get out of the bed only to realize you are in a pediatric gown and all your body is still visible.. you ask the cop if he was there.. when you were picked up..( naked ) he looks away and says yes... you then ask him.. so can I at least get a ride home..
    he indeed drives you home... but for weeks people in EMT vehicles and cops wave to you like you are their best friend..
    * apparently I came to at one point and the EMT asked me if I had insurance at which point I read his name tag and said look mr "xxxxxx" My *kitten* is naked I am in an ambulance I think I have more **** to worry about ..


    yeah been there.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Lol this is funny. Sadly, I don't think I've ever done anything funny enough worth mentioning here. Maybe getting out of the car and peeing in the burger king drive through while we were waiting for our food.
  • you wake up to you phone alarm going off in the middle of the hallway in your dorm hall...without pants on, all of your bedding is on the floor, there is some guy on said bedding, and you have the "puke bucket" next to you that you apparently used twice the night before without your knowledge.
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
    Lol this is funny. Sadly, I don't think I've ever done anything funny enough worth mentioning here. Maybe getting out of the car and peeing in the burger king drive through while we were waiting for our food.

    that still made me laugh. ;D
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
    a cop pulls you over.. you are 16 have several underage drinkers in your car with you ( 16-18)

    the cops tells you that you failed to stop at an intersection.. he tells you that you are too young to be out,.,.

    he says if you were my daughter " I would put you over my knee" you
    say

    " I bet you'd like that.. "
    he goes on to lecture while his partner is sitting down at the back of your car trying to keep from pissing his pants.. he says something to the effect that "blah blah blah " and you tell him to do his F$@king job stop flirting and write you the fecking ticket.
    He does not impound your car.
    He does not give you a ticket
    ....

    the end.
  • jmobashrn11
    jmobashrn11 Posts: 120
    you piss yourself while going through the arby's drive-thru because it's going to be 3 minutes on fries and you can't hold it any longer

    you throw up in the middle of the street on new year's eve on vacation while your one night stand is holding your hand

    you wake up with "rectal callouses" written on your hand
  • knapowell
    knapowell Posts: 230 Member
    All of this.

    I called it "college."

    I used to call them U.D.I 's

    Unidentified Drinking Injuries

    :drinker: Black eye and broken finger - same night. No idea how and 17 years later not one friend has filled me in on the details.
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
    I just remembered another one...

    The moment in the morning where you've realised your contact lens split because they didn't actually go into the solution the night before. This sucked the big one when I was on a cruise and they were the only contacts I had. Had to stick to glasses for the rest of the cruise..ugh.
  • PhilipByrne
    PhilipByrne Posts: 276 Member
    You wake up in a bar in Beijing at lunchtime, surrounded by diners. You have no shoes and no idea where your hotel is.

    Nobody speaks English and the last thing you remember is sitting at a bar with your best friends ever, whom you just met, and having a bloody great time drinking shots from around the world.

    True story folks.
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    One time i drove to town 45 mins to see my then boyfriend, we got a few hotel rooms with friends to party it up and we got intoxicated beyong belief... right before we were about to do the deed, we got into a huge fight about something neither of us could remember and so i chased ended up him down the street in my bra and undies in 8 inch stripper heels yelling that i didn't care if he was mad or not, he better come back and have sex with me at least, then he could leave.....a girlfriend of mine who was in the room next to us had to tell me everything, but i still got my way and apparently had sex that night lol
  • SoCalWoman
    SoCalWoman Posts: 2,384 Member
    you wake up with "rectal callouses" written on your hand

    ok this cracked me the hell up
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    Damn what a bunch of sots. LOL. JK. A buddy of mine and I were drinking and driving around our town. Had to take a leak, jumped out and ran into someones yard. I tripped over the curb, my cigarette fell out of my mouth, my hand landed on it. I was so drunk and laughing so hard I didnt realize it until the next morning. Nothing like a third degree burn on your palm to make you remember what happened the night before.

    We went to party one Saturday night, got ripped badddddd. Got to bed at 2 AM, up at 6AM and went to the firestation for my shift. Got to the station and after the other shift left, my captain asked me if I had drank last night. (I was still drunk). I said yeah I had had a few. He told me to check my truck out, go to the bunk room and hit the bunk until 10AM. I did as I was told. I got up feeling better but he ripped me a new *kitten* and told me if I ever did that again I was gonna need to find another job. I never did that again, there anyway lol.

    Good times...
  • xxxTiaxxx
    xxxTiaxxx Posts: 310 Member
    When I don't remember the whole journey home or even getting into my room.... or falling asleep.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    You wake up in Berlin.
  • ichigo007
    ichigo007 Posts: 97
    When I ran out of alcohol. I am one of those few that can drink like a fish still walk home and wake up remembering everything and have no hang over. Some one told me I have a over active liver and a poor digestive system absorbtion rate. But when I drink I drink to have fun not get drunk for the most part and not that often.
  • You walk out of the bar bathroom into a busy bar with your jeans down around your knees calling out to your husband to help pull up your pants. He was standing by the pool tables with my girlfriend's shoes in his hand and two bouncers telling him he had to make her put her shoes back on and stop taking posters off the wall. The benefit of having a large intimidating looking husband is that the bouncers are always super nice. Other bar patrons are always asking him for drugs though. He doesn't understand why so I told him that its a secret local gay pick-up line and he just doesn't know the response. Lol.
  • Coolhand1969
    Coolhand1969 Posts: 821 Member
    You're at a co-worker's Halloween party and decide you've had enough, so you go out to crash in the tent you pitched in their yard earlier. However, you can't find it due to rain and end up a quarter mile down the road being barked at by their neighbor's dog falling down in their yard trying to knock on the door of the barn to let you in. Luckily they know you from work also and stick you on their couch to crash... ...only to be told that you were up in the night pee'ing all over their living room carpet...
    yeah... that was too much..
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    ...you fell and don't remember it, but DEF have a bruise of proof.

    Anyone else willing to share?

    Oof. I've been there before.

    When my husband tells me all the funny things that I did the night before and I don't remember a thing. Until hours later as the bits and pieces start ever so slowly filtering through.

    Or when I wake up in the spare bedroom and have no idea how the hell I got there.

    Or I curl up in a ball on the floor and go to sleep.

    Or I start flashing people in very public (and sometimes very nice) establishments. :smile: <--- this one is a quick gauge as to how drunk I am getting. If I say to my husband that I wasn't that drunk the night before he'll say "Jennie, your boobs came out. You were drunk." LOL.
  • kzivic
    kzivic Posts: 326 Member
    ...after a night out, you see your friend on crutches the next day and ask what happened. You find out she tripped on the curb leaving the bar, sprained her ankle and you're the one who helped carry her home. No clue that happened at all...
  • missprincessgina
    missprincessgina Posts: 446 Member
    you need a bloody mary the next morning just to get out of bed! :flowerforyou:
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Tiger in the bathroom the next morning, followed by a visit from Mike Tyson in the afternoon.
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
    When you wake up reeking of cigar smoke and shame.


    And then you see that your husband is passed out on the toilet, and it's his cigar smoke and his shame you're tokin' on.