My Husband Doesn't Understand - I Need Advice

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Set it up yourself. You could have worse 'obsessions'.

Amen!

We men can be pretty dumb. Haven't met a guy yet that doesn't like his wife/girlfriend to be his arm candy and yet sometimes we stand it the way. I bet down deep he admires what you're doing and probably feels like he should join in, just hasn't got up the motivation yet. You've gotten a lot of good suggestions on this thread and I'm not sure I can add anything. I would definitely find another group of people, maybe a girlfriend, in which you could share your enthusiasm and I would start cleaning out the basement. Best of luck to you!

I applaud your quest for fitness, but it does sound like you are somewhat obsessed! Instead of p90x and weight benches, what about looking for sports and activities you can all enjoy as a family?. Maybe try riding bikes or going on a hike as a family? Surely there are ways you can find a passion you can pour yourself into that in addition, your whole family can enjoy? Why not get them all obsessed with you? :happy:

As to the weight bench, I guess I would question your need for a weight bench at all. it's actually a very limited device and there's no muscle group you can't activate some other way. Dips and pushups (weighted if necessary), would be some classic examples, but there are many more. Another compromise might be kettlebells. They provide a tremendous workout and take up very little room.

^ I like this. If you integrate some of your activities with your family, you'll get the benefits of exercise while making it more about your family. 2hours+ a day is a lot for a personal activity. If he wanted to go fishing for 3 hours a day, every day, I think you'd be going "seriously?" I know most on here won't equate fishing and working out, but at the end of the day they are 2 hobbies/lifestyle choices that people choose. You should be able to get the benefits/changes you want in under 2 hours a day. Maybe if you scale back the time you're working out and spend more with him he'll be more receptive. That's also not a guarantee. Some people just like someone beside them every second even if you're doing/saying nothing. If he's like that, then there is no happy answer. You just have to do what you need to do and hope they can become more independent as well.

I am thankful to have my wife here on MFP and equally obsessed.
If she were not, I'd just do my thing the way I wanted anyway, and if she was too much a crybaby, I'd start throwing stuff out like game tables and whatever to make room.
My health and fitness goals are paramount, and anybody inhibiting that will be miserable living with me; I would see to it.
There are two ways I always get my way.
1. Mutual respect in a relationship [not just talking about SO - ANY relationship: social, sports, business especially]
2. Fear
If a person refuses to reciprocate the respect I show, then just fear me, because I will get even.
Either way I always end up getting what I want.

Remember, the person who cares the least about the relationship gets to write the rules.
And that is why all his toys are taking up most of the space, and you're the one groveling for a few square feet for a weight bench.
Wise up - DEMAND - DON't ASK!
Good Luck:bigsmile:

...what he said!!!!!

My husband finally got over me being fitness obsessed...I guess he accepts that this it what I do and that he'd better be with me rather than left behind. There are much worse things we could be addicted/obsessed over.

I have read this twice and honestly I don't think your obsessed in the bad way....this sort of lifestyle, is just that a lifestyle and it takes, time, commitment and focus. What I and many others who embark on this path find is that it becomes a passion, the learning, the challenges, seeing your body transform and the way it makes you feel. It's no different than a runner who starts running 10km races and become obsessed with going longer and faster, the high, the feeling of meeting a goal and starting a new challenge, these ppl go on to do marathons, and most non-runners will look at them as obsessed, who would want to run for 4 hours straight? I too am into fitness and talk about it ALL the time to ANYONE who will listen, to the point that some ppl get sick of it and don't want to hear it...but in my opinion it's no different than the guy who sits on the PlayStation 20 hrs a day obsessed with completing the next level or when the newest game is being released, those folks' world revolves around those games, or for some its football or sitting on the couch drinking beer, buying the latest fashions etc..We all have areas we focus on, some more than others..is it healthy? That is subjective...is the action negatively affecting your or your family's health? As far as neglect, this also is measurable, as a woman and a mother I KNOW for a fact we NEVER take time for ourselves, not enough anyways, and fitness is one way we can have some "ME" time, the bonus here is that you are setting a healthy example for those around you and making yourself healthier in the process...My partner (now) is very supportive of my efforts..he sees the positive affects and no negative ones..others on the other hand see all negatives, where there is none. \My ex partner didnt like my fitness interest(and i was no where near involved as I am now), but his reasons were purely selfish and he just didnt want me to look and feel good about myself, meanwhile he spent every free moment on the PlayStation and ignored our kids, I at least have time for my kids and only workout when they are in bed or on my lunch hour at work, I rarely take time away from family time to workout. It's all about balance in life...if this is your thing those around you should support you. Good luck...and don't sacrifice your needs for those of others...may seem selfish but if you don't look after yourself first you won't be able to look after anyone else.
Cheers

It could be the balance. There needs to be an equal balance in both your lives of 'ME' time, 'WE' time and 'US' time. The 'ME' time is of course you and this can possibly be with your fitness and exercise. My hubby did the P90X and I got to a stage where I felt left out and felt like I was always looking after the kids because he would come home after work at 6pm, go straight into 90 mins of exercise, then a shower, and then dinner and by that time it was 10pm or later. I had no time with him, he had no time with the kids. The plus side of it, I thought it was great he was doing something for himself, he was achieving his fitness goals (He lost 23kgs) and he was getting fitter for life really. The 'US' time is between you and your hubby. If you aren't spending as much time together as you are on your fitness, then he's gonna feel left out. Possibly. I dont know. The other part is the 'WE' time where you do something together as a family with your child. There needs to be regular occurances of this, on a weekly basis for example. There also needs to be an understanding that each of your family members gets their own 'ME' time allocated as well. Maybe your partner wants to be doing something himself, maybe its not fitness based but if he hasn't got a hobby or activitiy and a social group himself, he may be feeling like he's missing out on your attention.

I was happy my husband was getting fit and achieving great goals. The only way I finally got to accept it was the fact he motivated me into a starter program that i was able to do myself in my own time and I started losing weight. I dont know your whole situation, I do agree with possibly not talking about it all so much, which kinda sux on its own as you sound so keen and are honestly just talking to him out of interest. I wish he could be just as interested in it as you. Starting out with something like Zumba maybe a way to get your daughter into something with you and then if you can do something with your partner together, it may work to your advantage. Get you both moving and motivated to live active healthy lifestyles hey.

best of luck with what you come up with. Of all things my dear, take time to talk to him. Ask him honestly at a time when he seems calm and approachable as such, not when he raises an eyebrow to your statements, but when he is calmer and able to think through his answers. Ask what is it about what you are doing that you feel he isn't too keen on and that you want his honest opinion. Make it just a time to discuss the situation and that you want to know his opinion on the whole thing. Very very true with not bulking up, you truly wont, its very hard for a woman to do that. You get way quicker results from using REAL actual weights than tiny hand weights and huge repititions. You get nothing from those little pink things other than a waste of time!

Good on you for doing that program though. I'm only giving the starter program of 'Power 90' a go and really like it. good luck

Why do you need his permission to set up the bench? In our house I would just do it myself if I wanted it done. But I also don't talk much about my workouts or calories unless its with someone who is like minded. I might mention things here and there to my DH but I do have other more important things to talk about.

But I have always been the type not to even talk about my kids every minute, or B***h about my job all day either. And for the last 3 years I have been home with my kids everyday and other peoples kids and I still have plenty of non-related things to talk about.

I suggest finding other things that you both may be interested in to talk about. My DH and I are two different people when it comes to many things, and can be two separate independent people but also be able to talk about all kinds of things when we are together. Its worked for 18 years and most likely will continue to work for many years to come!