To call/text him or not to call/text....

So, everyone, I need an opinion.

Quick back story: I have what I like to call my "lightswitch" boyfriend. We are on off on off on off. Already redflagging, right?! Well that's not what I'm here for. We have long periods of off in there, it's not a weekly thing, but it's been going on for like 5 years. We just always end up back with each other. Ok. So that's the background.

This time: We've been together for like... 8 months this time. Really good. We have been training for the color run, he's been all excited about it, I've been SUPER excited for it (I paid for it for him to do it with me since he couldn't afford it), and just been overall pumped for it to happen.

So Friday night rolls around, and I told him he should probably just sleep over at my place, so we could just get up and go. He said ok. Then he went to the bar with his friends like always. I told him I'd be up till 11 if he was going to come over. If not he better be at my place at 7 am sharp. He didn't come up, but said he'd be there at 7 in the morning.

Next morning, 7 rolls around... 7:05... 7:10... some phone calls and texts..... 7:20 and still nothing. So I left and told him to meet me. At 7:45 I asked my best friend, who was coming to take pictures, if he'd run with me and I'd give him the boyfriends stuff. So I called the boyfriend and still no answer, so I left a message. At 7:57 (mind you the race started at 8am) I get this text: "dang clock." I was so angry and just texted back "f*** you".

I'll admit, I probably shouldn't have said that but I was just so annoyed. So since then.... he has not apologized, texted, called, or made any attempts at communication with me. I was expecting at least a "OMG I'm so sorry!" or something... I don't know.

I'm not mad he missed the race, now. What I'm mad about is the fact that he hasn't apologized or said ANYTHING to me.

So now, 4 days later, I'm wondering... should I text/call him? Or just wait and see how long he actually goes and if he ever does apologize.... I've been struggling with this all day.

Thanks.

p.s. The color run was AWESOME.

If its been off and on again and he did this you should probably just dump him and find someone who respects you more. You had all right to say what you did to him out of anger, it was very rude and disrespectful on his part so why show him any curiosity? The next text you should send him is that you guys are done and don't have contact with him.

If this has been going on for five years, you guys either need to see a counselor to see where the issues are or just let it go...this wondering what the other person is thinking limbo isn't adult at all..these conversations should be able to be had and must be had..its no way to live

p.s.-I'm working off limited information here

He goes to the bar every Friday night with his friends? I understand time alone, but every Friday night... even before a big event that the two of you were doing together?

let him go.

Thanks everyone -

I replied to the one person who said that she wouldn't call me back, because I do know how these posts go. One person will say the opposite of what everyone else says and get attacked for it. I like hearing other peoples opinions, whether or not they are what I think.

At least that's what I think I was thinking last night.

But, I like what a couple of people have said. Just to text him and apologize for my rudeness and be done with it. Like the girl that said contacting him doesn't have to be making up - it can be just having a quick talk, goodbye, we're done.

So thanks everyone. That is what I'll be doing.

you say you are on/off/on/off, so he's getting the message it's alright to treat you with disrespect, so he walks all over you.

and you expect him to say 'sorry'?

not gonna happen.

why do you keep taking him back anyway? does he shoot sparks out of his *kitten* or something?

Thanks everyone -

I replied to the one person who said that she wouldn't call me back, because I do know how these posts go. One person will say the opposite of what everyone else says and get attacked for it. I like hearing other peoples opinions, whether or not they are what I think.

At least that's what I think I was thinking last night.

But, I like what a couple of people have said. Just to text him and apologize for my rudeness and be done with it. Like the girl that said contacting him doesn't have to be making up - it can be just having a quick talk, goodbye, we're done.

So thanks everyone. That is what I'll be doing.

honestly I wouldn't even apologise for the rudeness. Totally warranted and he should have seen from that he had clearly annoyed you so called you up or whatever.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it seems to me like he isn't that interested, just likes you around for a bit and is getting bored again. Hence why he didn't go to yours or bother ringing or texting.

Best thing is to leave it where it is and forget about the whole thing.

Thanks everyone -

I replied to the one person who said that she wouldn't call me back, because I do know how these posts go. One person will say the opposite of what everyone else says and get attacked for it. I like hearing other peoples opinions, whether or not they are what I think.

At least that's what I think I was thinking last night.

But, I like what a couple of people have said. Just to text him and apologize for my rudeness and be done with it. Like the girl that said contacting him doesn't have to be making up - it can be just having a quick talk, goodbye, we're done.

So thanks everyone. That is what I'll be doing.

I disagree that this post isn't about him being your "lightswitch" boyfriend. You've allowed him to be noncommittal, which is why he felt it was okay to let you pay for his race fees, go out drinking the night before a morning race, and not even bother showing up for the race.

But aside from the fact that you've allowed him to treat you like garbage, your reaction to his ridiculous text was disrespectful and wrong and completely demonstrates why you don't have a real relationship with this guy. You can't very well expect him to treat you well when the example you are setting is "It's okay for you to flake on me, and it's okay for me to text obscenities to you when you do."

What you should do is call him, apologize for the way you behaved, and tell him you're done pretending to be his girlfriend. Then never speak to the guy again. This is what it means to take the high road.

I am sorry but I believe you to be WAY off here! She finally stood up for herself regardless on the past!

Hmmm. Well I'm not the one in a dysfunctional quasi-relationship. I'm in a relationship with someone who respects me enough not to pull that garbage with me and whom I respect enough not to ever to tell him to go !@#$ himself. The immaturity isn't just on her "boyfriend's" part in this situation. She admitted she did it out of anger, which means she can't control her actions anymore than he is willing to control his douchebaggery.

Thanks everyone -

I replied to the one person who said that she wouldn't call me back, because I do know how these posts go. One person will say the opposite of what everyone else says and get attacked for it. I like hearing other peoples opinions, whether or not they are what I think.

At least that's what I think I was thinking last night.

But, I like what a couple of people have said. Just to text him and apologize for my rudeness and be done with it. Like the girl that said contacting him doesn't have to be making up - it can be just having a quick talk, goodbye, we're done.

So thanks everyone. That is what I'll be doing.

Perfect, hun.... Sounds like the right decision. Good luck.