Is it ok for my wife to talk three hours to a guy. 2 results

donjoe1024
donjoe1024 Posts: 30
in Chit-Chat
If you want to see the other thread email me and I will send it to yas Thanks
I talked with my wife about how felt about her talkingto some man for three hours and txting him late in the eve and she told me she did not care how I felt about it, if he got foolish she would remove him from her life, well I saw a few text messages from him to her and her to him. She said she is a dork and he said I am a dork too that is why we get along so well and then he goes to say do you know and dorky cute women you could set me up with, It sounds to me like he is flirting with her and trying to get a reaction from her. she said no none that I would reccommend. What the heck is that about and so I got upset and I said your hiding things and she flipped out on me I tried talking to her cause she was going outside, cause I like to resolve problems right away. She doesnt well anyway so I talked to my wife and tried to go outside with her and talk so we would not argue in front of the kids and she said no I am going out to get away before it escalates, I said well let me come outside please. She said no so she grabbed her keys and I said I am going with you and that was it, she called the cops on me and said I would not let her leave. I never said she couldnt leave. Well anyway I left and went to my storage unit. and then to the VFW let he calm down and today she told me we need to seperate until I get therapy my therapy session is not until July 13th. I could not get any sooner. SO anyway I checked facebook and she erased the fact that we are married. It doesnt say anything. What the hell is up with this guys I am so concerned I dont know what to do.
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Replies

  • olivia_sweeetie13
    olivia_sweeetie13 Posts: 43
    Honestly, I don't see why she'd be talking to another guy in general, especially for 3 hours :o
  • lilmzzgreeneyez
    lilmzzgreeneyez Posts: 133 Member
    she blew up too fast i think. i replied to ur other thread and i told you how i have an innocent friendship with a guy that i have known 9 years but if my bf tried to talk to me about it i wouldnt act like that. i would talk to him. of course im not her. it really sounds like she just wants to leave. you should let her and go ahead with ur life as you want. i cant say that she wants to be wih her guy friend but maybe shes been wanting out for a while and took this as her chance. just give it time. maybe by the time ur therapy is done she will be ready to talk and yall can work things out possibly. (or not)
  • wgn4166
    wgn4166 Posts: 771 Member
    not for 3 hours. i talk my X because we have a son together but its only for about 20 mins
  • niciemetts
    niciemetts Posts: 49
    the way i feel about things............i can talk to who i want as long as i am not doing anything that i shouldn't.......same goes for man or woman.............
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Hopefully you guys are able to work this out or at least get on with your lives. If she wasn't doing something wrong, I don't think she would have blown up like that. Seems like she's a bit defensive there. *hugs*
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
    have fun with that...but IMO, it's not innocent if she's blowing up at you.
  • donjoe1024
    donjoe1024 Posts: 30
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/631297-is-it-ok-for-a-woman
    Here is the site to the old thread thanks everyone
  • tugers2
    tugers2 Posts: 139
    not at all
  • FlyEaglesGuy
    FlyEaglesGuy Posts: 436 Member
    If that is your woman, then she should respect your feelings and cut or reduce ties to the guy.

    Only that will show you how much she feels for your relationship.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    It's obvious from your original post that it is NOT ok with you... and as her husband, your opinion should be the only one that matters to her and out of respect for you and your marriage, regardless of whether or not she is up to any funny business, she should respect your feelings and cease communication.
  • smkafka
    smkafka Posts: 134 Member
    I am sorry that things have gotten so out of hand. Sounds like she is guilty of something that she blew you off so easily. I hope you can work it all out. Best of luck!
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
    and now you just proved she cannot trust you.

    you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
    what were you thinking?

    you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    Not good. Very disrespectful.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    It's unreasonable to talk to another man for 3 hours and text late into the evening. Those are both giant red flags. I would not let this escalate. Talk to a lawyer, just so you know what your rights are. If she's calling the cops on you, you need to be VERY careful.

    I'm sure this is painful, but take care of yourself, your kids and your house. Do NOT agree to leave or separate until you speak to a lawyer.
  • khedl85
    khedl85 Posts: 196 Member
    VFW? where do you live??---off topic I know.



    secondly, hell no.
  • iamihobo
    iamihobo Posts: 232 Member
    I think out of respect a woman should keep in mind how her husband feels, and as a consideration as her position as a married woman, should be able to show all messages and conversations to her husband. If there's topics being discussed that you wouldn't want your spouse overhearing, you shouldn't be having it.
    And I think her letting you go have your "man time" away isn't a sweet thing. She's feeling disconnected and her talking with this other guy only causes a bigger wedge.
  • Jillemac
    Jillemac Posts: 2 Member
    My best friend is male and I could talk to him for hours at night and we are constantly texting. So men and women can be friends however, my male best friend is very involved in our family. If my husband ever asked me to see our texts or be included in our conversations I wouldn't have any issues because I want the three if us to hang out.

    I say go to therapy for yourself not in hopes to get her to change her behavior or her mind.
  • wifeygrooms
    wifeygrooms Posts: 49
    Well I know if she is talking to this guy for three hours, she is enjoying his convo trust me...She finds him interesting...There is an attraction there...Trust me I'm a woman I know...I sorry to tell you this but your wife is beginning to think the grass is greener on the other side if you know what I mean...She is getting mad to have that extra time to see if she want to act on this new situation and not have to answer to you about it!!!!
  • Pedro_Infante
    Pedro_Infante Posts: 116 Member
    Something is up and you’re just starting to piece the clues together at a subconscious level.

    TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I'm going to give you the best advice you'll get here.

    Go back to every post you've made tonight and delete everything. Trust me.
  • Selfmadepsyche
    Selfmadepsyche Posts: 20 Member
    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    It sounds like there is a different problem going on here: First, if you knnow she doesn't like to talk about things right away, why would you push her on it? Let her walk away and cool down and talk about it later. You said you prefer to solve issues right away but if she doesn't, then you have to let her cool down first.

    Second, nobody likes to feel like their partner is insecure and needs to snoop and question them about things. Either you trust her or you don't, and if you don't, then you need to get therapy or end it now.
  • MNguerita
    MNguerita Posts: 199 Member
    I agree, if you have an open honest relationship she would talk to you about it. The fact that she wouldn't and that she used it as an excuse to separate makes me think that is what she wanted all along.
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    Of course it's ok to talk... and you kind of freaked out a little. But her flippin' out and bolted so quick and all that??? Seems like she was looking for a reason to me!
  • goldengirl111
    goldengirl111 Posts: 684 Member
    http://rejoiceministries.org/questions.php
    Go to this website. Don't post these details on this website if you want to save your marriage.
    Talk to your wife, not us. My prayers are with you.--Ask that her heart be softened.
    Fellow fitness pal -ers, please leave this man alone so that he and his wife can take care of their own business. Do not speak to a lawyer. Do not take polls. Talk with your wife even if that means that you need to talk with a nonpartial, confidential counselor together.
    Do not spill your heart to anyone of the opposite sex. Stand for your marriage.
    Please, for the sake of your marriage, do not post any more details about you and your wife on this site.
    A three fold cord is not easily broken.
  • OnTheReg
    OnTheReg Posts: 20 Member
    It's not ok that she thinks you should be separated until you go to therapy. She's the one with the problem. If she's on the defense that's so wrong of her. She should understand that this behavior of her's does not make for a healthy relationship. I'd say it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex but that much contact is strange and her reaction is way off base. It's also disturbing she did a public display on facebook like that.
  • AbzRocks
    AbzRocks Posts: 45
    Wow that's horrible. I think you are right to be upset about the long conversations she is having with this guy but the way you have approached it may be upsetting her. It would be difficult to stay calm in that situation but it is the best way to deal with it. Tell her it upsets you and makes you feel insecure and ask her how she would feel if you were talking to a chick for hours on end. She isn't dealing with this the best either and it sounds like you would both benefit from therapy so you can learn to communicate without storming out of the house. Calling the police was a bit unfair but I would say she has a lot of other problems underneath this one. You guys just need to talk things through without flipping out but it takes two to tango and if she isn't interested in talking I don't know what you can do other than write her a letter.
  • jamiem1102
    jamiem1102 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Well... I don't think it was cool for you to snoop. On the other hand, I also don't think it was right for her to blow up at you.

    Having said that, I don't think there was anything wrong with her text messages. They seem innocent enough. I think you were being paranoid, and pounced on her. However, the fact that she lost her temper so quickly raises red flags. She SHOULD be patient with you, because she should understand that what she's doing is not generally socially acceptable.

    Good luck!
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    Her reaction seems a bit crazy if all it was was a innocent chat. If the tables were reversed she's realize it's pretty disrespectful to your spouse to be secretive about that kind of stuff. She sounds like someone I know..
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    I'm going to give you the best advice you'll get here.

    Go back to every post you've made tonight and delete everything. Trust me.

    Yes! Like this guy says. Don't burn that bridge!
  • ChaoticMiNd
    ChaoticMiNd Posts: 247 Member
    have fun with that...but IMO, it's not innocent if she's blowing up at you.
    I totally agree with this.

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