Is it ok for my wife to talk three hours to a guy. 2 results

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Replies

  • limex
    limex Posts: 81 Member
    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    ^ this
  • jlenz74
    jlenz74 Posts: 30
    oh dear! what she is doing is NOT okay! She is cheating on your emotionally! Cheating is not just physical! Good for you for investigating and trusting your instincts that something wasnt right! My husband was doing the same thing. He was sexting another women behind my back! I knew something was up and I check his phone! Then while he was sleeping I text this women with his phone and invited her over! She agreed and wanted to know where the wife was!

    She needs help not you! I would end the relationship because she will keep doing this to you! Shame on her!
  • monipie
    monipie Posts: 280 Member
    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    ^ this

    wow, i have way more respect for my husband i guess. this makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

    ^ this

    wow, i have way more respect for my husband i guess. this makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.

    i agree with you. BUT everyone's relationship is different. some are totally ok with it while some are not. i am in the "not" club. i don't do it to him and i expect the same respect FROM him. now, we have MUTUAL friends that we have conversations with. one of my dear friends calls my husband on occasion and i'm totally fine with that. i had a friend's husband contact me about weight loss help and my husband was ok with that too, but those conversations were not hours long nor private or even close to inappropriate. and i fully trust my husband. i don't check his emails, calls, etc and i don't think he does it to me unless he is doing it in secret like a ninja. ;)
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    you can't trust her. you need counseling. she did the right thing.
    and now you just proved she cannot trust you.

    you snooped on her. that is definitely not cool.
    what were you thinking?

    you blew the whole thing out of proportion. congrats
    No wonder you're a single mom.. Blaming him for this is why you're single.
    You win biggest douch of the day. Congrats. I don't agree with that poster either but this response was just ridiculous.
  • ThaRealNicki
    ThaRealNicki Posts: 322 Member
    have fun with that...but IMO, it's not innocent if she's blowing up at you.

    more than likely its this, seems like she might have grown feelings of some sort
  • theNurseNancy
    theNurseNancy Posts: 149
    dude, seriously? she has been friends with him for 14 years! if either of them wanted the other, it would have happened by now.

    Did I miss something? I dont see the post where he said she's been friends with him for that long. If that's the case, the situation is a little different.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Is your wife 16 years old?
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    wow, she seems so ready to leave over what she say is such a innocent thing, there is def more to this story she is saying.
  • wingednotes
    wingednotes Posts: 274 Member
    Sorry :( I think you should prepare yourself. She is leaving you.
    She already has an emotional connection to another guy.
    Everything she does from this point forward is going to sabatoge the relationship with you because bottom line is she wants out.
  • theNurseNancy
    theNurseNancy Posts: 149
    Woah guys. Just because she is having an emotional thing with another guy doesnt mean she is leaving him or wants it to end. She may be having a huge issue with their relationship or depression within herself and is handling it the WRONG way.
  • rhonniema
    rhonniema Posts: 522 Member
    Sounds like she's cheating.
    To go through all that to call the cops & delete things from Facebook...
    There's definitely something going on somewhere.
  • dhiannon
    dhiannon Posts: 111 Member
    Ummm isnt the real question here why the hell are you putting up with it?

    If my husband/partner disrespectd me as much as she has you I wouldnt wait to be walked all over I'd be the one leaving.

    No woman wants a guy who will allow them to be walked all over and treated like crap - you need to just cut your losses and leave.

    Haven't you ever heard of "you dont know what you've got until its gone?"

    Show her whats she got and what she'll be missing, if she allows you to walk away then there is your answer.
  • zela
    zela Posts: 92 Member
    Oh boy..... my dude... my man... my fellow male...im banging my head on the desk if this is the level that male kind has fallen to
  • losermomof3
    losermomof3 Posts: 386 Member
    Yup...he is in the doghouse and there is a new puppy in the window!
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
    She shouldn't be talking to anyone for 3 hours ... except her husband. She knows this.. you know this, and the other guy knows this.
    The fact that she does it anyway... means she doesn't care about what you think, probably already gave up on your relationship and is probably already loving the fact that she is flirting with someone else that makes her feel good. (Or she wouldn't be talking to him in the first place)
    If she blows up on you erratically, carries on long conversations with other people, argues with you about being able to carry on long conversations with people that aren't you.. Its because she is cheating, planning on cheating, or ready to start thinking about cheating.
    Sorry to be harsh, just giving my honest (and experienced) opinion.
    Good luck :ohwell:
  • Josette89
    Josette89 Posts: 244
    You are both wrong for doing what you are doing. Women can have guys as friends, it's okay. You need to trust each other. She should not be disrespecting your relationship by being sneaky about it and making it look like she is doing something wrong, that leads to you not trusting her. Then there you are snooping around in her business, obviously she has given you reasons to snoop before, but the least you can do is give her the benefit of a doubt. The biggest thing you should do now is talk to her about how her behavior doesn't make her seem honest.... but then, an action like that is a woman's cry for attention. I've done it before, I regret it because it ended up in a huge fight, but the guy I was texting was this ugly guy who I met in college and he was just drunk texting me and me (being the b**** that I can be) I played it off like I was talking to a guy that I could possibly be into and I didn't try to hide that I was texting him. So, we got in this huge fight leading to us sleeping in separate rooms. I got the attention that I wanted, but it was negative attention and it backfired by having to sleep alone the whole night. Since then we have been more open to talk to each other and we haven't had a fight like that since. He has been paying more attention to me as well, so I do not feel the need to fake flirt.
    ****women suck, we do sneaky things**** ;)
  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
    I don't know how it is with you younger generation, but in mine that was known as an emotional affair... and it sounds like she was just looking for an excuse to cut you loose. And you gave it to her. I am not saying you were wrong for doing so, I wasn't there, so I can't judge your reaction.

    But you had every right to be upset, even if you DIDN'T handle it right (not there, not saying you didn't).

    Everyone nowadays things that as long as you aren't screwing someone else that anything goes. Bullcrap. That is a cop out. If you truly love the person you are with you don't even WANT to get in any situation that is dicey. And that was so dicey I'm callin' Yahtzee.

    thisthisTHIS!!!!!!
  • ThaRealNicki
    ThaRealNicki Posts: 322 Member
    dude, seriously? she has been friends with him for 14 years! if either of them wanted the other, it would have happened by now.

    Did I miss something? I dont see the post where he said she's been friends with him for that long. If that's the case, the situation is a little different.

    tikig i missed something too, if this is the case then he would of known by now that this dude is here and as long as there are no feelings put out there then i would trust her if its really been this long that theyve been friends but that doesnt stop the emotional toll that the firendship takes on her partner and Im going still say this is wrong because she sure as hell aint right
  • rkgb
    rkgb Posts: 22
    I'm sure this is not what you want to hear.
    I married that guy I used to talk to. 6 years 1 week ago.
    I was not happy with my boyfriend, he was a great guy but..... it didn't work obviously.
    Anyway like I said I married that guy.
  • living_loving_laughing2013
    living_loving_laughing2013 Posts: 233 Member
    Sadly emotions get in the way and if she's flippin' out over it...it's not all innocent. My husband and I just got back together after being split for over 6 months behind this same nonsense. (He was the offender in my case) I gave him and ultimatum (me and his son) or his little fling he had going. For 6 months he felt it that necessary to keep his "we're only friends" friendship going... When I finally packed up to walk out and file for divorce...he decided his family was more important.

    It's gotta stop!!
  • jjelizalde
    jjelizalde Posts: 377 Member
    It's unreasonable to talk to another man for 3 hours and text late into the evening. Those are both giant red flags. I would not let this escalate. Talk to a lawyer, just so you know what your rights are. If she's calling the cops on you, you need to be VERY careful.

    I'm sure this is painful, but take care of yourself, your kids and your house. Do NOT agree to leave or separate until you speak to a lawyer.

    This. Call your local bar association. They usually offer at least a 30 minute free consultation. Find out what your rights are before you go any further. It is imperative you do that as soon as possible!
  • Kathy53925
    Kathy53925 Posts: 241 Member
    I've been married for 37 years. What she is doing is NOT okay. We have had our ups and downs in 37 years, and if I have to hide it from my husband, then something is not kosher. Disagree all you want to, but she is flirting with this guy and probably considering an affair, or leaving you for him. It could be just flirting, and she would not act on it, but she is NOT being honest about it.

    I would tell her it's not okay to spend countless hours talking and texting another man....PERIOD!
  • missxjuicy
    missxjuicy Posts: 205 Member
    lets text :)
  • ebonijo2
    ebonijo2 Posts: 73
    Def Not ok
  • childofArtemis24
    childofArtemis24 Posts: 334
    All I can say is WOW!!!! I can see this from both sides..I still txt some of my guy friends(Every once in a blue moon) but my husband knows that I talk to them. If she can't see , that what she is doing is affecting you big time , then she needs therapy. She is doing what she pleases, without thinking that there maybe side effects. I agree with you, you guys need to talk it out. Separating just right out of the clear blue..seems to be a little rash.

    But on the other hand she may view this as a way for you to control who she talks to. And maybe she thinks that you do not trust her.
    I was dating a guy , lived with him too, but we were falling apart. And would sit on the couch next to him and txt this other guy (who is now my husband) . When he found out he flipped, and the argue ments became violent ..so I made the decision to leave . He was so controlling though and he had my whole life in box.
    So do be aware of the things that they talk about, but dont seem like your being nosy, cause she will shut down or that will be another fight. I hope things workout, I hate seeing marriages fall apart.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
    hmm...

    If it were me (in your wifes shoes) Id be angry that you snooped, cause that justifies your mistrust. and I would make it a bigger deal than it should be... wel.. cause im a woman.. thats what we do.

    But hey, Im in a relationship with 100% trust, I dont care who he talks to, or for how long, and Die to our respect and trust for each other, He gives the same back to me, He knows I love him, and i know he loves me, end of story. I guess both of us are too lazy to either
    A: get jealous and
    B- cheat

    ahh the joy of mutual laziness..

    but i understand not everyone is iek this, we definatey have a different kind of relationship compared to most people
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I'm going to give you the best advice you'll get here.

    Go back to every post you've made tonight and delete everything. Trust me.

    I'm with Brett...seriously.
    lets text :)

    This would be hella tempting though...if you weren't married lol.
  • SteffieSunshine
    SteffieSunshine Posts: 61 Member
    I just found out my boyfriend was on here telling other women how HOTTT they were, how sexy their eyes were, and one... He alluded to a certain arousal at her legs. When I read the " Do you have an MFP crush?" answer of... "Ummm...YES!"... It was over. =\

    If it bothers you, she needs to respect that!!! Hope you guys can work it out.
  • beckymcp
    beckymcp Posts: 1
    If she respected you she wouldn't do it if she knew it upsets you. I think it depends on the relationship. If you both are ok with it fine, if you both aren't then don't. Easy. Sounds to me she was looking for an out.
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