Is it ok for my wife to talk three hours to a guy. 2 results

I think you BOTH need to see a marriage counselor. The relationship needs help and there are two people in the relationship- you and your wife. Every marriage has rocky moments but these kinds of things can be difficult to iron out on your own and a mature, emotionally-unattached third party can help mediate and get to the root of the issue. My husband and I have acquaintances of the opposite sex, but we safeguard our marriage and we don't engage in long personal conversation with other men/women because those things can quickly develop into something else if you are building up an emotional tie with someone. I don't know your wife, or her motivations so I can't jump to conclusions, but it's obvious that you love her and I urge you to seek marriage counseling with her.

I get uncomfortable texting/PMing with men. I try to brush them off as quickly as possible. One guy even asked me if I was getting the seven year itch. Really? Even if I were, I wouldn't discuss it with a stranger... weird.

I used to talk to a very good friend frequently (a guy friend), but my husband wasn't comfortable with it. We now rarely speak because we set up those boundaries-much to my chagrin. He was a really good friend to me when I was a single mom (strictly platonic, but my husband will never believe that). I miss my friend, but my marital relationship was suffering because of it. It just makes sense to make peace on the homefront over being buddies with some person online, IMO.

I honestly don't think that people have any business having friends of the opposite sex unless they are part of a mutual friendship with another couple. Singles and marrieds oftentimes just don't always mesh well anyway--even more trouble when it's opposite sex. Even my single girlfriends and I have pretty much parted ways. My life consists of cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and taking care of kids. Theirs is a life of continual parties and few responsibilities (they may never grow up)....

I am sorry for you! My husband and I always talk. Being married isn't easy. My husbands cousin was married young, had a little boy with his wife and she started doing the same thing towards him. She was mean and hateful and had to just get out and get away. The entire family didn't find out they had problems until it ended up in divorce. She's still down right hateful to him.
My own brother is fixing to get married to a woman who beats him. My brother could have any woman he wanted, but the fun loving personalities that match mine.. he hates. He hates anyone that doesn't treat him bad. I don't understand this.
My relationship with my husband has its ups and downs. We tell each other everything. I don't keep secrets from him. I don't ever leave the house unless I'm going to meet a freind and her daughters and go swimming. I will not do things, unless my own daughter can be a part of it. Some things my husband can't tell me because of his job, but usually he never keeps anything from me.
A relationship based on trust and faith, is the best kind. I am a woman, who has woman freinds that do these things and I KNOW she's up to something. I just hate that you've got kids involved. I would defidently seek the advice of a lawyer. My own mom planned to divorce my dad 5 years in advance and made sure every bill was late and she took all his savings too, plus everything in the house. I pray for you that your able to work things out.. for the kids sakes, but I would seek advice. She is being fishy!

I wouldn't dare talk to another guy without my husband knowing!! I do not want GOD to strike me down for breaking a vow. Cheaters don't have places in heaven. When you do the right thing, you will prevail! Don't forget that!

One word. No.... After reading your post and all the happened. Something is happening and you don't need that drama. I don't mean to sound like a card hearted b*tch but even if she isn't being physically active with him she is still being emotionally attached that in my book is just as bad. Just my opinion. I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do.

I don't think it sounds like she wants to be with another guy, but personally, if my husband ever asked me why I was talking to another guy (for any amount of time or at any time of day) I would punch him in the face.

It sounds like there is a different problem going on here: First, if you knnow she doesn't like to talk about things right away, why would you push her on it? Let her walk away and cool down and talk about it later. You said you prefer to solve issues right away but if she doesn't, then you have to let her cool down first.

Second, nobody likes to feel like their partner is insecure and needs to snoop and question them about things. Either you trust her or you don't, and if you don't, then you need to get therapy or end it now.

I am a very happily married women. I do not have guy friends that I call or talk to without my husband. It is just rude and very disrespectful. Let this man figure it out and stay out of his business.

excellent post!

I have gone through something very similar.

She is giving you a lot of signals that not only does she not regard your feelings as important, she doesn't even feel she owes you the truth or answers. Since you confronting her leads to her backing away and calling for a separation, I would surmise that she is defensive about something, possibly the inappropriateness of the relationship between them.

This really just reads to me as she does not respect you and wants to do whatever she wants. She seems selfish, from what you've posted. She wants to separate until you get counseling? Why is that/what for? YOu don't have to answer that, but that may be part of it. Either way, you are not the only one who needs to do work here. And if she is not willing, that is saying with her actions that she is not going to try to make it work. Actions are much more meaningful than words. I am sorry this is happening to you. IT is conufusing and painful and I am sure it can be hard to know how to handle it. All I can tell you is to try to have healthy boundaries and if you love her, that's fine, but it doesn't mean you have to accept this kind of behavior which is really detrimental to your relationship.

http://rejoiceministries.org/questions.php
Go to this website. Don't post these details on this website if you want to save your marriage.
Talk to your wife, not us. My prayers are with you.--Ask that her heart be softened.
Fellow fitness pal -ers, please leave this man alone so that he and his wife can take care of their own business. Do not speak to a lawyer. Do not take polls. Talk with your wife even if that means that you need to talk with a nonpartial, confidential counselor together.
Do not spill your heart to anyone of the opposite sex. Stand for your marriage.
Please, for the sake of your marriage, do not post any more details about you and your wife on this site.
A three fold cord is not easily broken.

^^ This.

It's only okay if you know the guy is full out gay.

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It's unreasonable to talk to another man for 3 hours and text late into the evening. Those are both giant red flags. I would not let this escalate. Talk to a lawyer, just so you know what your rights are. If she's calling the cops on you, you need to be VERY careful.

I'm sure this is painful, but take care of yourself, your kids and your house. Do NOT agree to leave or separate until you speak to a lawyer.

very good advice!

When my dh and I first got married he received a letter from an old gf, telling him how her engagement fell through, and how she never should have left my hubby go. Very full of innuendoes. He was deployed in the Gulf at the time. when next we spoke, I told him about the letter, and that I was not going to forward it on to him. I also asked that he not get in touch with her. 22 years later we're still married. He never disagreed with me. Was only sorry she chose to express these feelings outloud to a married man!

good luck and don't leave your house and kids if you want them! possession is still part of the law! Do get counceling, her too. it is used in court.

Final question for you to ponder, and be honest with yourself. Are you controlling or suspicious? I do not mean to be mean. Just asking you to be honest w yourself. If you truely are not, then keep in mind many people acuse others of what they themselves are guilty of.

like many other's said...talk to your family and friends, hers too, if they'll talk to you. Maybe couples you guys are friends with?

good luck, I will say a prayer for you. This is very difficult to say the least.

i have a male friend of several years. we are close but when i married, my relationship changed with my friend. i still love him and we keep in touch from time to time. i dont know the entire situation but i don't feel it is appropriate for any spouce to be on the phone and txting late at night with a member of opposit sex. it doesn't look good at all, so sorry.

Totally agree.

I am a "guy's girl". Growing up, I had wonderful, close male friends and we are still very close today. They are all some of the most loyal and amazing people I know. But as we got older, and got married, we no longer spent time on the phone or texting a lot. We don't go on vacations or road trips together anymore. My husband has never had an issue with me having male friends or even doing things with my girl friends (I go on "girl vacations" sometimes). He's not the jealous type. In my opinion, because I respect my marriage and my husband, that sort of behavior is inappropriate with my male friends.