(some of the) American guys...

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Replies

  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    He probably wants you to drive over to his house, using your gas, and give him some.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I am really in deep *kitten* with the IRS and the State due to some stuff that went down a couple of years ago. I am so strapped in debt that paying $3 for a beer is ridiculous. So, yes, I am one of those guys right now. I count every penny I have. I have to. But, it's not because I am cheap, it's because I have to.

    I don't always think guys like that are cheap, I think sometimes guys are responsible. They have $x amount to play with and when it's gone, it's gone.

    People think I have money, if you see me around, it appears that things are fine. But, I can barely put enough gas in my car to get to work. So, it's tough. One date, and I'm broke all week and unable to eat or put gas in my car. I mean, it's that bad. People that live around here, it's very expensive. Everything is so expensive. It's overlooked a lot. And, women think we're cheap. It really pisses me off. It's why I'm not dating. Why bother? I don't want to be called cheap because I'm not. I am what they call, the working poor. In a couple of months, I will literally be working only to survive, no more. It's horrible.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    This is definitely not a stereotype that fits most american men, hell my fiance and I had been dating for two weeks and he bought me a damn bose radio on HIS birthday. Not to mention paying for absolutely everything and getting offended(not meanly) if I tried to. My french roommate however was a very frugal guy, but he was a student as well
  • Annette_rose
    Annette_rose Posts: 427 Member
    I have kind of run into that with dating also. I have paid for some dinners, drinks, etc, especially when they hint about being broke and then I feel guilty for costing them any money. Ugh. And, I don't make much money myself at all as a single mom. I did go out with one though who wanted to buy me whatever I wanted in KC and that was nice, but I am not used to that kind of generosity. He ended up buying me a pair of Lucky jeans and I was floored that the price tag on them was $100. Never paid that much for a pair of jeans. I have to admit that I enjoy being with a man who would like to pamper me.
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
    Lol. I feel your pain, I dated a guy like this for a short while. although I didn't mind paying for stuff (or my share) some of the time, the complaining and never wanting to go anywhere, cause it cost money, drove me nuts. I only stuck around as long as I did in hopes he would learn to stfu....and the sex was good.
    I walked away before I ended up choking him :wink:
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
    My hubby is the only American I have dated, and we have been together almost 10 years and I STILL argue with him about him paying for everything. He says we are a team.

    I'm not working/earning because I'm at home with the kids so he agrees that I AM working and saving us a fortune on childcare!

    From the start he was always a gentleman and had his hand in his wallet but I too am a pay my own way kind of girl and if he bought one round of drinks I bought the next, if he paid for dinner one time Id pay the next. Never once did he complain about spending too much money.

    I'm with the others who have said you either met a tight wad or a guy with financial problems who doesn't want to admit it. If you like him and feel comfortable bring it up, if you couldn't care less, let him go on his merry whiney way :P
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    Since he's essentially only paying for himself because, as you said you pay for yourself, maybe he's not as well off as you think. I have met MANY american men that always pay for a woman, and don't say a word. Him choosing to stay home when you said he is into you.... maybe he just doesn't have the $$. It can be expensive to go out all the time, and some people like to spend a night relaxing at home, you could have offered to join, bring a movie and bottle of wine or something.

    he is, he wasn't bragging or anything but it's not hard to guess.
  • _SpeshK_
    _SpeshK_ Posts: 496 Member
    I think a good place to throw this out there would be in the Group "Single Peeps!"
    Loads of good advice on dating, etc.

    Also, my 2 cents...he's a douche to complain about spending $
    ESPECIALLY if you are paying your fair share.
    I mean if he doesn't like spending money he doesn't need to be dating.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I am really in deep *kitten* with the IRS and the State due to some stuff that went down a couple of years ago. I am so strapped in debt that paying $3 for a beer is ridiculous. So, yes, I am one of those guys right now. I count every penny I have. I have to. But, it's not because I am cheap, it's because I have to.

    I don't always think guys like that are cheap, I think sometimes guys are responsible. They have $x amount to play with and when it's gone, it's gone.

    People think I have money, if you see me around, it appears that things are fine. But, I can barely put enough gas in my car to get to work. So, it's tough. One date, and I'm broke all week and unable to eat or put gas in my car. I mean, it's that bad. People that live around here, it's very expensive. Everything is so expensive. It's overlooked a lot. And, women think we're cheap. It really pisses me off. It's why I'm not dating. Why bother? I don't want to be called cheap because I'm not. I am what they call, the working poor. In a couple of months, I will literally be working only to survive, no more. It's horrible.

    That's a rough situation. I'd prefer someone were upfront with me about something like that. I'd certainly be if I were going to date right now, I can't afford extras most of the time, either, and it's not like that's something you can really hide, or not for long.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Simple soltion....date me.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,262 Member
    I think that guy was a rare bird. Move on. ;D
  • Madmoosebaits
    Madmoosebaits Posts: 55
    Let's say the guy is really cash-strapped. That's fine, many of us can relate. However for him to complain and whine about it all the time and then text you saying he doesn't want to spend money going out is a little dumb. I think he will just end up being a whiner as your relationship grows.

    What's wrong with, "Hey 'm a little strapped, okay if we grab some take out and a Redbox movie and chill aty my place?"
  • futuremalestripper
    futuremalestripper Posts: 467 Member
    Really depends on the area.
    Like in Miami, the guys will pay for everything because that's the culture.
    In Las Vegas, they are all broke real estate agents living beyond their means so they are stingey as heck.
    Me, I think a guy should pay for everything when dating. Once married, it should be 50/50.

    Edit: If I'm poor, I just bring the girl to my place and make dinner and drinks for way less. Plus it impresses them.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I think it's you, honestly. I have not had this experience and I've lived and dated in the US for a long time.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Since he's essentially only paying for himself because, as you said you pay for yourself, maybe he's not as well off as you think. I have met MANY american men that always pay for a woman, and don't say a word. Him choosing to stay home when you said he is into you.... maybe he just doesn't have the $$. It can be expensive to go out all the time, and some people like to spend a night relaxing at home, you could have offered to join, bring a movie and bottle of wine or something.

    he is, he wasn't bragging or anything but it's not hard to guess.

    You make a lot of assumptions.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Generalizations will get you no where.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Um, why wouldn't you suggest going on a walk or something free to do if you actually like this person and want to spend time with them? Or a less expensive place?

    Just because people are well off but don't want to dump hundreds (or thousands) in a bar doesn't mean they are cheap -- it's means they probably have a decent understanding of excess and wastefulness. I don't think he should have "complained" about the prices to your face, but I can't help but wonder if he'd hinted that he didn't want to go to whatever bar/club you went to it and you turned a deaf ear...
  • Bull2707
    Bull2707 Posts: 106
    When I go on a first date with a woman, I make it less expensive on the both of us. Walks on the beach, drinks and small appitizers that we can share. Getting to know each other and brake the ice. Inexpensive stuff that we have in common. I have learned the less stress of the whole eveninng makes it better. Get to know each other that night and if it goes a second date then the evening moves up to a more levels. The last time i did this I ended up marring her and we stil do it 8 years later.
  • historygirldd
    historygirldd Posts: 209 Member
    sooooo I married one of those cheap guys. I thought, at least I will alwayls have money for food and a house. However, I would be concerned that he used the excuse of not wanting to spend money to not go out one night. Rent a movie and cook dinner together. Nice night and not so expensive.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    I do not think this is going to end well...so I will stick around and watch!~

    Jodi, I really appreciate you you always pay for the female entertainment and confectioners sugar.

    Since I can't call it what it really is anymore....

    You are awesome.

    Now, gimme my change.

    but my rent is due...you didn't leave it on the nightstand. give and take my dear.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    He's a cheapskate, for sure.He knows the cost of the drinks and food, but doesn't really value company he is entertaining.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    theres an algorithm that was developed long ago, and i can't recall exactly how the formula works, but it has to do with the man willing to pay X amount (in percent) for total cost, based on several variables, including his attraction to you, your personality, and the likelihood of "getting in". it seems that because he refused to pay, he did the math quickly upon meeting up with you and we can only see what results were calculated.
    he found you slightly attractive but with a mediocre personality. now divide that by the likelihood of you banging him (98% or .98) and get the square root of that. what it equals is him not paying.
    math can be a brutal beast. good luck in the future!
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    By your math Josef Stalin would define all Russians
  • Easywider
    Easywider Posts: 434 Member
    Aww that's unfortunate...but that's something he should have accepted long ago.


    You want to date a girl? Get your wracks up.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    By your math Josef Stalin would define all Russians

    but he wouldn't complain about paying for a date
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Maybe American guys are cheap because they're all saving up to buy their foreskins back? O_o
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    Let's say the guy is really cash-strapped. That's fine, many of us can relate. However for him to complain and whine about it all the time and then text you saying he doesn't want to spend money going out is a little dumb. I think he will just end up being a whiner as your relationship grows.

    What's wrong with, "Hey 'm a little strapped, okay if we grab some take out and a Redbox movie and chill aty my place?"

    Agreed.
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?
  • callmeBAM
    callmeBAM Posts: 445 Member
    there is a certain stereotype about american guys (again, this is not meant to offend anyone, i am a serbian and most of you will immediately think, terrorist)

    Actually, we think nothing. It's pretty sad that you have such judgmental opinions of people. I may associate civil war with Serbia, but not terrorists. I guess I will now though, thanks.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    american guys suck.

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