(some of the) American guys...

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  • crobl
    crobl Posts: 380
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    okay...here's my rant on the subject... who cares if the guy pays or not? I make good money so I have no problem paying for myself or my guy. I didn't realize women in America spent years pushing for equality just so we can piss and moan about not being treated like a princess!

    I had a first date the other day - he told me point blank that he just bought a car the week before (which is true, it still has the temp. plates) and couldn't really afford anything fancy. So, he took me to an old-school drive in and then out to a part to watch fireworks.
    Did he pay? Yes.
    Did I also pull out my wallet? YES!
    Did he tell me to put it away? Also yes.
    Did I think he was a gentleman? Yes.
    Was it because he paid? HELL NO.
    It was because he opened the door for me, because he looked in my eyes when we talked, because he held my hand when I slipped on a grassy hill, and because unlike men in my past, when he said he'd call me the next day - HE DID.

    If as women we keep getting caught up in who pays the check - then maybe you should just stop dating!

    i agree that paying doesnt define a gentleman, most guys with a lot of money who pay for everything because they have money to wipe their butts with are complete A-holes....but i dont think its fair for u to bash on her becuz she met a cheap guy and is frustrated. i wudnt even go to date #2 with someone who was whining and complaining about money.
    if he doesnt have money to go out and do stuff, HE shudnt be dating!

    I'm not bashing because she's frustrated - I'm pointing out that money doesn't define a relationship or a good guy. Maybe we should focus on his personality instead of his wallet. Maybe it's just me...but I think that's the real issue!
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    so for you "non-cheap american guys out there." ..do u always pay? do u let girls pay when they offer? how far along into the relationship do u keep paying for dates? i've heard some ppl say just on the first date but i'm interested in what u boys will say about this one since u are not cheap skates and all...
    I always try to pay, but I will let the lady pay if she insists. I also get a little turned off by women who don't even at least offer to pay once in a while.
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
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    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    so you are then really complaining that his parents don't pay for him to take girls out...how rude of them. This has nothing to do with his nationality. It is bc he is a poor college student...not because he is an American tightwad.

    ^^ This

    That coupled with the fact that the US$ is not at its highest when it comes to exchange rates , chances are when he exchanges it he has even less that he thought he started with.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Did you sleep with him anyway?
    YOU, sir, are a very bad man......:laugh:
  • MashaSK
    MashaSK Posts: 142 Member
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    Date russian! he will pay for everything, he will also marry you faster and won't let you work . But forget about equality I've dated american guys They always paid If he can't be able to pay for you he shall not ask you out. Later in relationships that's ok to be 50/50
  • DonttrythatwithME
    DonttrythatwithME Posts: 214 Member
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    I am a Brit, I would defiantly take you out and act like a gent

    1.open doors
    2 pull out that chair
    3.make interesting conversation
    4 be devastatingly suave

    This is the nature of us.

    On the date

    a. i would never mention money and pay for everything
    b. never ask you to pay for anything

    What i would do is send you and invoice within the next 48 hours outlining your 50% expenditure so I can can then claim it as a business meeting and get my tax back.

    #truegent
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    I am really in deep *kitten* with the IRS and the State due to some stuff that went down a couple of years ago. I am so strapped in debt that paying $3 for a beer is ridiculous. So, yes, I am one of those guys right now. I count every penny I have. I have to. But, it's not because I am cheap, it's because I have to.

    I don't always think guys like that are cheap, I think sometimes guys are responsible. They have $x amount to play with and when it's gone, it's gone.

    People think I have money, if you see me around, it appears that things are fine. But, I can barely put enough gas in my car to get to work. So, it's tough. One date, and I'm broke all week and unable to eat or put gas in my car. I mean, it's that bad. People that live around here, it's very expensive. Everything is so expensive. It's overlooked a lot. And, women think we're cheap. It really pisses me off. It's why I'm not dating. Why bother? I don't want to be called cheap because I'm not. I am what they call, the working poor. In a couple of months, I will literally be working only to survive, no more. It's horrible.
    Given this situation, I would simply invite a lady to the park for a nice walk and a picnic.
    And I'd just be honest about my situation. And suppose you were rejected for this?
    GOOD!
    You don't want to date some broad anyway.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    Ever stop to think that MAYBE his parents are paying for him to get an education and a cultural experience, not take girls out on expensive dates? Because I know when I was in college, my parents sure as hell weren't paying for my social life.
  • aimsteen
    aimsteen Posts: 49
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    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.



    It's sounds like he's a student studying abroad that has to watch his financial situation. I agree he shouldn't complain about money if he asked you out on a date; however, I have to wonder how much complaining he was doing or if, at your own admission, you just expected him to pay for everything because that's what you're used to. It sounds like he's just trying to be mindful of his finances and honest about it with you...since he is a student, who doesn't have a job, and is financially supported by his parents. It doesn't sound like an "American" issue...it's sounds like he's a struggling student. If you need more, or have higher expectations, I'd suggest dating a different person.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    You know, I think he should take the OP out for expensive dinners in the best restaurants and buy her diamonds and just forgo eating and paying his electric bill.

    It's what she deserves, after all.

    Now that the rest of the facts are out, all I can say about the OP is she's a spoiled brat. And the America-bashing was incredibly unnecessary and shows your character.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    In my experience, European/old world men are a lot more generous in general.
  • cmdwyer00
    cmdwyer00 Posts: 40 Member
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    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    Ever stop to think that MAYBE his parents are paying for him to get an education and a cultural experience, not take girls out on expensive dates? Because I know when I was in college, my parents sure as hell weren't paying for my social life.

    Exactly.


    Also, if you're in college and honestly expecting another college student who has no income and probably a lot of debt to pay for your stuff, or to be able to regularly afford to go out even, you probably need to reevaluate your priorities.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    so for you "non-cheap american guys out there." ..do u always pay? do u let girls pay when they offer? how far along into the relationship do u keep paying for dates? i've heard some ppl say just on the first date but i'm interested in what u boys will say about this one since u are not cheap skates and all...
    I always try to pay, but I will let the lady pay if she insists. I also get a little turned off by women who don't even at least offer to pay once in a while.

    this is fiar i think :smile:
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.

    I dont think the idea his parents are helping him through college is outlandish...its outlandish to know that is the situation and then be put off bc he doesnt have enough money.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I date (American men) quite a bit, and I've never experienced this. Perhaps you're meeting the wrong men, for whatever reason that may be.

    I only date traditional, financially secure men, and they've all been generous with me.
  • krystyleee
    krystyleee Posts: 219
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    Generalizations will get you no where.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.

    I dont think the idea his parents are helping him through college is outlandish...its outlandish to know that is the situation and then be put off bc he doesnt have enough money.

    I just gotta wonder why he'd make such a big deal, its not so hard for him to have bowed out gracefully instead of b itching so much. That, more than him being "cheap", is more of a red flag than anything.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.

    I dont think the idea his parents are helping him through college is outlandish...its outlandish to know that is the situation and then be put off bc he doesnt have enough money.

    I just gotta wonder why he'd make such a big deal, its not so hard for him to have bowed out gracefully instead of b itching so much. That, more than him being "cheap", is more of a red flag than anything.

    It was definitely rude to complain about it. My guess is, since he's a student, he's just very immature. I wouldn't go out with him again simply for the rudeness, especially when you can have a lovely, fun, wonderful date for next to nothing.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
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    I've never dated a cheap American guy lol. My hubby ain't cheap either. Maybe it's just the guys you pick? lol

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