(some of the) American guys...

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Replies

  • Laoch_Cailin
    Laoch_Cailin Posts: 414 Member
    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?

    Amm you could try asking him!! Or maybe suggest cheaper date options like walks in the park and a picnic, cinema...something like that
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?
    Wait....his parents? Does he live with his parents? Does he have a job? Some people really are on a tight budget, but I'd be wondering what this person is doing with his life that he can't even afford to buy dinner. This probably says less about Americans and more about the guys you are choosing to date.
  • zela
    zela Posts: 92 Member
    Let me help you OP.

    Being a Serbian guy in America I can attest to people here being alot bigger cheapstakes than in Serbia where money is much more scarce. But I don't think you can call this a problem or slap an American label on it. People in Serbia are more different in their ways or culture than most people and always looking to please guests/friends. Going out with Serbian friends can be more of a drag as we always argue over who has the privilege of paying the bill. I'm not going to say either way is right or wrong, nor pass judgement on people.

    THIS! i don't like serbian guys in particular but i am used to guy paying a bill. but i don't expect that!

    Yes, this is the same reason I don't like Serbian girls. They are usually spoiled little snobs expecting to be catered to for every little thing for doing absolutely nothing.
  • YokoJ
    YokoJ Posts: 253
    he keeps saying i'm beautiful, smart and funny so it's not me.
    i respect him for not wasting his money (that means he is smart and respectful of his parents) but i got the impression that this guy only thinks about that, i mean why are you inviting me to a date if you are gonna behave like that?

    wait??!! his parents?? does this mean he is living off mommy and daddy? THAT would be my concern vs him not wanting to spend money.


    Lmfao!!!! You read my mind!
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    Most of the men I know don't like to let a woman pay for anything on a date (even when they offer).

    this^^^.

    i'm from latin america, men are very traditional and dont usually ever let the girl pay. they dont ever want to feel inferior i think but more than anything its kind of like a gesture to show he can take care of her financially and in other ways.
    I think its more common in the U.S. that i saw the women paying for their own thing on dates.

    dont get me wrong, i would treat my guy sometimes and pick up the whole check not just pay for my stuff but it just didnt happen that often. did i mind doing it? not at all. was he grateful, yup.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    so you are then really complaining that his parents don't pay for him to take girls out...how rude of them. This has nothing to do with his nationality. It is bc he is a poor college student...not because he is an American tightwad.
  • tsaarloos
    tsaarloos Posts: 58 Member
    Seriously, on a 1st date?! I'd think twice about seeing him again, because usually we're on our "best" behavior when getting to know someone... It stands to reason, that it would only get worse...get out while you still can. Just my opinion. Good Luck :) And I don't think this had anything to do w/being American, more like inproper manners or "issues" that run pretty deep.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    While the complaining would be totally annoying....is some fiscal responsibility in this economy really a bad thing? I wasn't aware there was a salary requirement for dating; should I have checked my boyfriend's paycheck stubs before going out with him? A meal, movie, and a bottle of wine at home is pretty inexpensive and can be just as nice (if not nicer) than a fancy dinner out somewhere.

    And I don't really think this is an "American" thing...I've only dated American men and there have been those who throw money around like it's nothing and those who have to watch their spending more closely. Perhaps you're dating the wrong men (for what you're looking for) in general.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    If you are a woman who wants to be a wife and mother and stay home with the children, you will appreciate a good husband who is a family man and provider...these experiences will help you to appreciate that man! So be wise in who you spend time with, and be the type of woman that man would choose as his wife!!!
  • crobl
    crobl Posts: 380
    okay...here's my rant on the subject... who cares if the guy pays or not? I make good money so I have no problem paying for myself or my guy. I didn't realize women in America spent years pushing for equality just so we can piss and moan about not being treated like a princess!

    I had a first date the other day - he told me point blank that he just bought a car the week before (which is true, it still has the temp. plates) and couldn't really afford anything fancy. So, he took me to an old-school drive in and then out to a part to watch fireworks.
    Did he pay? Yes.
    Did I also pull out my wallet? YES!
    Did he tell me to put it away? Also yes.
    Did I think he was a gentleman? Yes.
    Was it because he paid? HELL NO.
    It was because he opened the door for me, because he looked in my eyes when we talked, because he held my hand when I slipped on a grassy hill, and because unlike men in my past, when he said he'd call me the next day - HE DID.

    If as women we keep getting caught up in who pays the check - then maybe you should just stop dating!

    i agree that paying doesnt define a gentleman, most guys with a lot of money who pay for everything because they have money to wipe their butts with are complete A-holes....but i dont think its fair for u to bash on her becuz she met a cheap guy and is frustrated. i wudnt even go to date #2 with someone who was whining and complaining about money.
    if he doesnt have money to go out and do stuff, HE shudnt be dating!

    I'm not bashing because she's frustrated - I'm pointing out that money doesn't define a relationship or a good guy. Maybe we should focus on his personality instead of his wallet. Maybe it's just me...but I think that's the real issue!
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    so for you "non-cheap american guys out there." ..do u always pay? do u let girls pay when they offer? how far along into the relationship do u keep paying for dates? i've heard some ppl say just on the first date but i'm interested in what u boys will say about this one since u are not cheap skates and all...
    I always try to pay, but I will let the lady pay if she insists. I also get a little turned off by women who don't even at least offer to pay once in a while.
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    so you are then really complaining that his parents don't pay for him to take girls out...how rude of them. This has nothing to do with his nationality. It is bc he is a poor college student...not because he is an American tightwad.

    ^^ This

    That coupled with the fact that the US$ is not at its highest when it comes to exchange rates , chances are when he exchanges it he has even less that he thought he started with.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Did you sleep with him anyway?
    YOU, sir, are a very bad man......:laugh:
  • MashaSK
    MashaSK Posts: 142 Member
    Date russian! he will pay for everything, he will also marry you faster and won't let you work . But forget about equality I've dated american guys They always paid If he can't be able to pay for you he shall not ask you out. Later in relationships that's ok to be 50/50
  • DonttrythatwithME
    DonttrythatwithME Posts: 214 Member
    I am a Brit, I would defiantly take you out and act like a gent

    1.open doors
    2 pull out that chair
    3.make interesting conversation
    4 be devastatingly suave

    This is the nature of us.

    On the date

    a. i would never mention money and pay for everything
    b. never ask you to pay for anything

    What i would do is send you and invoice within the next 48 hours outlining your 50% expenditure so I can can then claim it as a business meeting and get my tax back.

    #truegent
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    I am really in deep *kitten* with the IRS and the State due to some stuff that went down a couple of years ago. I am so strapped in debt that paying $3 for a beer is ridiculous. So, yes, I am one of those guys right now. I count every penny I have. I have to. But, it's not because I am cheap, it's because I have to.

    I don't always think guys like that are cheap, I think sometimes guys are responsible. They have $x amount to play with and when it's gone, it's gone.

    People think I have money, if you see me around, it appears that things are fine. But, I can barely put enough gas in my car to get to work. So, it's tough. One date, and I'm broke all week and unable to eat or put gas in my car. I mean, it's that bad. People that live around here, it's very expensive. Everything is so expensive. It's overlooked a lot. And, women think we're cheap. It really pisses me off. It's why I'm not dating. Why bother? I don't want to be called cheap because I'm not. I am what they call, the working poor. In a couple of months, I will literally be working only to survive, no more. It's horrible.
    Given this situation, I would simply invite a lady to the park for a nice walk and a picnic.
    And I'd just be honest about my situation. And suppose you were rejected for this?
    GOOD!
    You don't want to date some broad anyway.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    Ever stop to think that MAYBE his parents are paying for him to get an education and a cultural experience, not take girls out on expensive dates? Because I know when I was in college, my parents sure as hell weren't paying for my social life.
  • aimsteen
    aimsteen Posts: 49
    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.



    It's sounds like he's a student studying abroad that has to watch his financial situation. I agree he shouldn't complain about money if he asked you out on a date; however, I have to wonder how much complaining he was doing or if, at your own admission, you just expected him to pay for everything because that's what you're used to. It sounds like he's just trying to be mindful of his finances and honest about it with you...since he is a student, who doesn't have a job, and is financially supported by his parents. It doesn't sound like an "American" issue...it's sounds like he's a struggling student. If you need more, or have higher expectations, I'd suggest dating a different person.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    You know, I think he should take the OP out for expensive dinners in the best restaurants and buy her diamonds and just forgo eating and paying his electric bill.

    It's what she deserves, after all.

    Now that the rest of the facts are out, all I can say about the OP is she's a spoiled brat. And the America-bashing was incredibly unnecessary and shows your character.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    In my experience, European/old world men are a lot more generous in general.
  • cmdwyer00
    cmdwyer00 Posts: 40 Member
    he doesn't make his own money. we both study abroad so his parents are paying for everything. he is my age.

    Ever stop to think that MAYBE his parents are paying for him to get an education and a cultural experience, not take girls out on expensive dates? Because I know when I was in college, my parents sure as hell weren't paying for my social life.

    Exactly.


    Also, if you're in college and honestly expecting another college student who has no income and probably a lot of debt to pay for your stuff, or to be able to regularly afford to go out even, you probably need to reevaluate your priorities.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    so for you "non-cheap american guys out there." ..do u always pay? do u let girls pay when they offer? how far along into the relationship do u keep paying for dates? i've heard some ppl say just on the first date but i'm interested in what u boys will say about this one since u are not cheap skates and all...
    I always try to pay, but I will let the lady pay if she insists. I also get a little turned off by women who don't even at least offer to pay once in a while.

    this is fiar i think :smile:
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.

    I dont think the idea his parents are helping him through college is outlandish...its outlandish to know that is the situation and then be put off bc he doesnt have enough money.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I date (American men) quite a bit, and I've never experienced this. Perhaps you're meeting the wrong men, for whatever reason that may be.

    I only date traditional, financially secure men, and they've all been generous with me.
  • krystyleee
    krystyleee Posts: 219
    Generalizations will get you no where.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.

    I dont think the idea his parents are helping him through college is outlandish...its outlandish to know that is the situation and then be put off bc he doesnt have enough money.

    I just gotta wonder why he'd make such a big deal, its not so hard for him to have bowed out gracefully instead of b itching so much. That, more than him being "cheap", is more of a red flag than anything.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Ive never come across something like that.
    My bf has almost always paid but he's a high ranking official and I'm just a retail manager. He makes tons more. Of course I've picked up the tab here and there, but never at the beginning.

    The guy the OP was talking about, how his parents take care of him, it's not so outlandish. In some cultures it's that way, parents help you out. Nothing wrong with it.

    I dont think the idea his parents are helping him through college is outlandish...its outlandish to know that is the situation and then be put off bc he doesnt have enough money.

    I just gotta wonder why he'd make such a big deal, its not so hard for him to have bowed out gracefully instead of b itching so much. That, more than him being "cheap", is more of a red flag than anything.

    It was definitely rude to complain about it. My guess is, since he's a student, he's just very immature. I wouldn't go out with him again simply for the rudeness, especially when you can have a lovely, fun, wonderful date for next to nothing.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I've never dated a cheap American guy lol. My hubby ain't cheap either. Maybe it's just the guys you pick? lol
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