Relationship advice

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  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Yeah, if it's meant to be it will be, willing to give it my all and if it doesn't work then I know I tried. On another note, my son has a great dad that is very involved in his life as well, just because we didn't work out doesn't make him a bad person, just glad he is there for my son...

    That is what I am talking about. Most people think cause a relationship doesnt work out that the guy is a piece of crap. Sometimes things just dont work out between two great people. Im glad he is there for him. That is really cool.

    agreed. this is great. so u dont have to worry about finding him a father figure cuz he has one. i'm not saying to be picky but be sure that u want to marry this guy before u jump in :)
    i think a lot of times women fall in love and think thats all it takes to make a relationship work. maybe i'm just sappy like that. but in my last relationship i realized that sometimes love is not enough to keep two ppl together.

    but in general if he's a good guy, makes u happy, and u guys have talked about marriage and kids, go for it :)
  • nwhitley
    nwhitley Posts: 619
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    Oh honey. If he's telling you that he's not going to marry you "until you're nicer"... That is an excuse, he doesn't want to commit.

    Why are you letting him put everything on you? If a man is in love with a woman, she doesn't have to prove herself in order for him to want to commit to her. I'm sure he's perfect and the only problem you two ever have is that you aren't "nice" enough.

    Agree with this.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    If you are living together and have been in a relationship for 4 years, what difference does it make when you get married? I agree that 4 years is a while, but will being married really make your life any better?

    OP, you remind me of my ex-girlfriend. She was a good person, just a bit OCD and had to constantly complain about something. Mainly she complained about not being married. I can't count the number of times I tried to explain to her that if she chilled the hell out, and stopped picking fights with me about every little thing then maybe I would have been more open to getting married. She never got it.
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
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    Yeah, if it's meant to be it will be, willing to give it my all and if it doesn't work then I know I tried. On another note, my son has a great dad that is very involved in his life as well, just because we didn't work out doesn't make him a bad person, just glad he is there for my son...

    That is what I am talking about. Most people think cause a relationship doesnt work out that the guy is a piece of crap. Sometimes things just dont work out between two great people. Im glad he is there for him. That is really cool.

    agreed. this is great. so u dont have to worry about finding him a father figure cuz he has one. i'm not saying to be picky but be sure that u want to marry this guy before u jump in :)
    i think a lot of times women fall in love and think thats all it takes to make a relationship work. maybe i'm just sappy like that. but in my last relationship i realized that sometimes love is not enough to keep two ppl together.

    but in general if he's a good guy, makes u happy, and u guys have talked about marriage and kids, go for it :)

    Agreed, sometimes it isnt enough. For me though, I would never give up fighting for love. You know in the old days when a knight would go against the odds in battle to save the one he loves. Ok that doesnt work, I can even ride a horse, I so would fall off and that armor is way too heavy, ill just shut up now.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Yeah, if it's meant to be it will be, willing to give it my all and if it doesn't work then I know I tried. On another note, my son has a great dad that is very involved in his life as well, just because we didn't work out doesn't make him a bad person, just glad he is there for my son...

    That is what I am talking about. Most people think cause a relationship doesnt work out that the guy is a piece of crap. Sometimes things just dont work out between two great people. Im glad he is there for him. That is really cool.

    agreed. this is great. so u dont have to worry about finding him a father figure cuz he has one. i'm not saying to be picky but be sure that u want to marry this guy before u jump in :)
    i think a lot of times women fall in love and think thats all it takes to make a relationship work. maybe i'm just sappy like that. but in my last relationship i realized that sometimes love is not enough to keep two ppl together.

    but in general if he's a good guy, makes u happy, and u guys have talked about marriage and kids, go for it :)

    Agreed, sometimes it isnt enough. For me though, I would never give up fighting for love. You know in the old days when a knight would go against the odds in battle to save the one he loves. Ok that doesnt work, I can even ride a horse, I so would fall off and that armor is way too heavy, ill just shut up now.

    unfortunately guys like that are far and few in between.
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
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    If you are living together and have been in a relationship for 4 years, what difference does it make when you get married? I agree that 4 years is a while, but will being married really make your life any better?

    OP, you remind me of my ex-girlfriend. She was a good person, just a bit OCD and had to constantly complain about something. Mainly she complained about not being married. I can't count the number of times I tried to explain to her that if she chilled the hell out, and stopped picking fights with me about every little thing then maybe I would have been more open to getting married. She never got it.


    It reminds me of an ex as well. Thats what most of the women on here dont get. Im not talking about the original poster but I am talking about most women ive dated. It sucks to be fussed at all the time, put down, and constantly be in fights that are just stupid. There are way more important things in life to worry about than if something is put on one shelf down from where she wants it. I think what it is, alot of women dont have hobbies so they just think of things they want done and as soon as we get hime, bam, they let us have it and all we want to do is sit down, relax, and have a beer because we are tired from work or had a bad day. Work, kids, and fussy woman can really drain a person.

    These women are not bad people at all, in fact they are good women but I dont think they realize how much the fussiness drains us and they just ignore it and say "he loves me and will put up with it" and then they are shocked when we leave them or dont marry them or they just forgot how to have fun with us. If there is an inner lining problem then they fail to talk to us about it, they talk to their friends and think we should know what it is, we can read minds, trust me if we could, well, we would prolly be confused still. lol. We have been telling them the whole time, calm down and dont sweat the small stuff, it will be ok, I promise. Women, we dont like it. Why can they understand this? Fighting over things like the soap fell out and in in the tub is stupid to fight over. Im sure all my exes are giving all their men hell as im writing this. Like I said this was not directed to the OP, towards some of the others on here.
  • DrewMaxwell
    DrewMaxwell Posts: 269 Member
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    I think Calvert pretty much nailed it.

    It's a pretty old concept as well.

    Proverbs 25:24
    Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
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    Lol.
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
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    I think Calvert pretty much nailed it.

    It's a pretty old concept as well.

    Proverbs 25:24
    Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

    I like that quote
  • gatecityradio
    gatecityradio Posts: 401
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    The best relationship advice is, don't go on the internet looking for relationship advice.
  • daniellegastineau
    daniellegastineau Posts: 8
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    Im gonna go with...

    KICK HIM TO THE CURB! THAT BOY IS NOT GOING TO COMMIT!

    So sorry girl! That sucks :(
  • Pfeiffer24
    Pfeiffer24 Posts: 106 Member
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    I dont know if u will read this but just think of it this way... would u treat(nag) at a stranger the way u treat your bf?... we get so comfortable that we forget how to interact with each other....
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
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    Lol, I agree, no relationship advice on m f p! Fitness advice, maybe...
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    not sure if my advise is the best. I was married 3 moths after meeting my wife. been married for 12 years. I would never move in with someone i wouldn't marry
  • Jani2416
    Jani2416 Posts: 275 Member
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    Tough one. I've been there, but I was the one that was not rushing to get married. We finally did it when our son was almost 4. The only advice I can give is make sure you guys are on the same page because it can cause issues later down the road. Best of luck :)
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    I have been married 13 years, and we lived together a year first. I was just as ornery then, as I am now =) He loves me regardless. You are super cute, and of course you aren't perfect, no one is!! You should stop wasting any more years with him, and find someone who you love that wants to marry you, personality flaws and all. JMO ;)
  • gonnabethinandfit
    gonnabethinandfit Posts: 38 Member
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    I don't know much about relationships but it sounds to me like you should wait for somebody who would still walk down the aisle with you no matter your mood.. somebody who accepts you 100%. Just my two cents.
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
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    I pretty much agree to the last two posts, but idk if I'd rush down the aisle with me issues..but I definitely am reaching my end....
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    I have been with the same guy for almost four years, and living together for one. I am ready to get married and have a child ( I'm divorced with a five yr old)...he knows how I feel, but says he doesnt want a time clock, and until I'm nicer there's no way hes rushing down the aisle. I understand but I don't want to be spinning my wheels forever. And I hardly think four years is rushing..when is it time for an ultimatum, or is that a bad idea?? Thoughts, appreciated :)


    For Get About it! He has already said "You are NOT Nice!" You are ok to Live with right now, but do "I" want to commit to this woman for My whole life? NOPE! Look, You are who You are, if he does not think you are "nice" or whatever...if you can't change for him and you are not married, HE KNOWS you are NOT changing.

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