Someone threatened me

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  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
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    Here's my recommendation, as someone has has been there.

    1. Try to get a restraining order against this perp. If you get it, then if this guy gets in your face for another threat, he's broken it and goes to jail.
    2. Take a self-defense class. A GOOD one. Good is defined by a class that teaches you how to break holds and hurt the guy enough to get away. Don't settle for one night class, either. Multiple nights help to reinforce it. Find girlfriends to go with you so you can practice on each other regularly after that so you don't forget. If you have the means, I recommend taking regular martial arts classes with a belt/degree system so you get it ingrained.
    3. Carry something that you can use to hurt him. It doesn't have to be a gun. Pepper spray or mace can work as well for the jerk who likes to stop and gloat first. Heck, if it comes right down to that you can stab him in the eye with a lipstick and then run while he's rubbing his eyes.

    I would avoid guns. The answer to a gun is a bigger gun. You need a lot of training to make good use of a gun, typically. But that's my opinion. Having never lived in or visited California, that's not my expertise there.
  • amymt10
    amymt10 Posts: 271 Member
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    Call the police again (or go to the station), something should have been done. I am not an officer but I've been working for my local sheriffs office for 12yrs. I would also suggest a restraining order. Yes if he really wants to harm you or someone a piece of paper wont stop him, but he can be charged if he comes anywhere near you or contacts you in any way (text, calling, or in person). If you have to request to speak to a supervisor.

    Oh and def tell as many of your neighbors as poss!!! It will keep them alert to anything going on with him. Keep your dog inside and a self defense class would prob be a good idea. I'm against the you carrying a gun idea. Dont threaten him back!!
  • jennifeffer
    jennifeffer Posts: 98 Member
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    Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:

    I thought the same thing. It's sounds so weird. And please, I"m not insulting Americans. But a Canadian wouldn't even have that option. We couldn't even buy pepper spray. The best we could do is go to an outdoors/camping store and buy some bear spray.
  • jwaitman
    jwaitman Posts: 367 Member
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    Carry a hard object in your hand when you are outside. Doesn't have to be large, just enough to fit in your hand. When and if he presents himself again take said object and knock him in the wind pipe. If he can't breath he can't do anything. Then take advantage give a couple good swift kicks to other choice areas, joints are a good spot as they are the weaker part of the extremities. Snap his leg.

    Make sure he is on your property when defending yourself. Then call the police and have him hauled away. He may think twice about bothering you again.
  • KHoiriis
    KHoiriis Posts: 33 Member
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    I have never spoken a word to this man. I was taking pictures and he thought i was taking a picture of him. Thats when he spewed all that crap to me. I have seen this man trying to break into my neighbors house before. Those are the only times I have seen him.

    1. I cannot move. I cannot afford it
    2. I did nothing wrong. Wrong place at the wrong time.
    3. There are only 4 patrol cars in my town. Since I live in a **** neighborhood they are around but sometimes it takes 30+ minutes to get them to my house.
    4. I haven't had much luck with police officers. The one I spoke with today was one of the better ones.
    5. I can't afford the gun or classes. I am unemployed.

    OK so heres what to do...
    1.alot of civic places offer women defense courses for FREE. Find one, find many, take them often.
    2.get a whistle, rape whistle is best, but if too costly then get a referee whistle. When you see this guy blow it, dont wait for him to approach you. Be proactive. Blow the whistle so that other people will be watching too.
    3. Get WASP spray. It can spray up to 50+ feet. There are some horrible chemicals in there and it would be very effective in stopping him. WASP spray is cheap enough and no special permits to carry it.
    4. Try to spend little time outside your apartment without a buddy. There is strength in numbers.
    5. Any contact he has with you call the police. If you have call 15x a day. Maybe then they will find something that they can do within their jurisdiction.

    I wish you much luck and safety in your situation. Please keep us all updated. And feel free to add me as a friend if you want to.
  • jamies76
    jamies76 Posts: 30 Member
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    oh man what did you do to him?

    I REALLY hope your comment was a case of not thinking it through before posting, which happens to us all. For some people the fact that you EXIST is enough of a "reason".
  • KHoiriis
    KHoiriis Posts: 33 Member
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    Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:

    I thought the same thing. It's sounds so weird. And please, I"m not insulting Americans. But a Canadian wouldn't even have that option. We couldn't even buy pepper spray. The best we could do is go to an outdoors/camping store and buy some bear spray.

    Well thats how we became Americans now isnt it. We are our own militia. I can not imagine waiting for a police officer to arrive to protect me. The crime would be over and done with by the time they show up. Where I live we have one cop and he goes home at 10pm. The coyotes and bears get too close to my house, saying shoo wont make them go away. I need protection. There are parts of America where guns are not allowed, but I live in NH and our motto is Live Free or Die! God Bless.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    You're only 28. Where are the men in your life? Dad? Big Brother? Male friends?

    I have 3 daughters. One of them is your age. They would have come to me with this issue and I would have taken care of it.

    Reach out to someone.
  • LittleMissAlx
    LittleMissAlx Posts: 291 Member
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    I wouldn't get a weapon - unless you are good with them, they are easily taken off you and turned on you. Agree with previous poster, reach out to the men in your life for support.
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    oh man what did you do to him?

    I really do not like this comment.

    Neither do I. In fact, it made me want to throw something across the room. Why is it that people assume the woman must have done something to provoke the guy (and even if she did, that doesn't make what he said/did acceptable), rather than that the guy is a ****ing nutjob?
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
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    Mace that mofo in the face next time. Hopefully, there won't be a next time.

    I'm not a fan of using deadly force when trying to protect yourself from a non-deadly situation. For right now, this guy is a pervy d-bag. If he tries to get close to you, loudly and clearly warn him that you have a weapon and will defend yourself. If he gets closer, whip that can out and aim for the eyes!
  • handle123
    handle123 Posts: 62
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    i would have kicked him in the knackers and told him to F off!
  • paulcer
    paulcer Posts: 167 Member
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    A big dog is a bigger safer deterrent than a gun. I love guns, but really in a bad neighborhood you're more likely to get it stolen and used against you. It sounds like this guy is crazy and was just running off at the mouth. Keep your head low, lock your doors and bring your dog inside. Odds are his brain is like Swiss cheese and he won't remember you anyway.

    And yes, pepper spray even if you have to buy it illegally.
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
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    You should have called the police back and insist that you wanted to file a report. It may not be too late. If they still would not comply, go over their heads. This man threatened to harm you, which is illegal in any state. In the meantime, get mace and carry it with you. I don't know how you feel about guns. I have one and carry concealed most of the time. My friend last week caught a glimpse of it on my hip in its holster and say, "My God! Is that a gun!!??"

    Don't get a gun if you are not ready to take a life in order to save your life or someone else's life. Have I ever shot anyone? Once. Two burglars broke into my apartment when I and my two young children were sleeping. My dog heard them and pawed me. I realized what was happening, grabbed my gun, went to investigate, and shot the one. He died in my living room. The other peed his pants and took off. Do I feel bad about shooting the burglar? Absolutely not! They took the chance of entering a home where the owner had a gun. There are little signs on my home that says that the property is protected by Smith and Wesson, although mine was a Glock. Thing is, I knew the kid I killed and his parents. Because he was lying dead in my living room with a pair of pantyhose over his head when the police came, it was obvious it was a burglary. But you have to be able to shoot a person, otherwise owning a gun is pointless.
  • skinnybearlyndsay
    skinnybearlyndsay Posts: 798 Member
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    I hope you stay safe. When you're out walking around your neighborhood, carry your keys in your hand. That way, if he comes up behind you you can either shank him in the nether region or in the face. Buy a whistle. Buy a MagLite flashlight for home (those suckers are HEAVY!).
  • majones_orl
    majones_orl Posts: 195 Member
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    I have never spoken a word to this man. I was taking pictures and he thought i was taking a picture of him. Thats when he spewed all that crap to me. I have seen this man trying to break into my neighbors house before. Those are the only times I have seen him.

    1. I cannot move. I cannot afford it
    2. I did nothing wrong. Wrong place at the wrong time.
    3. There are only 4 patrol cars in my town. Since I live in a **** neighborhood they are around but sometimes it takes 30+ minutes to get them to my house.
    4. I haven't had much luck with police officers. The one I spoke with today was one of the better ones.
    5. I can't afford the gun or classes. I am unemployed.

    Talk to you neigbhbors and have them watch out for you also. Just be cautious when you are out, keep looking around to see if there is someone out there. Get you some mace or pepper spray. Walmart $10. I would call the cops everytime he does something, then there is a record.

    Stay Safe.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    Get a tazer. You can order them online. So many people want to go the gun route and it's disturbing. First of all, you can't just go buy a gun and be ready to shoot it. Second of all most people don't even take the responsibility of owning one seriously. LIke when you pull the trigger are you prepared to kill someone. Are you prepared for that stray bullet you fired off hitting and killing someone else? Do you think you could be calm enough in the situation to actually handle a loaded gun? Would you just react and just shoot instead of showing him you have a gun and mean business?

    A tazer is less lethal. It gets the job done but you don't have to worry about killing a 3 year old in some other house because you were nervous and shot one off.
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
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    I have never spoken a word to this man. I was taking pictures and he thought i was taking a picture of him. Thats when he spewed all that crap to me. I have seen this man trying to break into my neighbors house before. Those are the only times I have seen him.

    1. I cannot move. I cannot afford it
    2. I did nothing wrong. Wrong place at the wrong time.
    3. There are only 4 patrol cars in my town. Since I live in a **** neighborhood they are around but sometimes it takes 30+ minutes to get them to my house.
    4. I haven't had much luck with police officers. The one I spoke with today was one of the better ones.
    5. I can't afford the gun or classes. I am unemployed.

    How do you afford a house, phone or internet if you are unemployed?
  • KHoiriis
    KHoiriis Posts: 33 Member
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    A gun is a bad idea. Unless you have training you are going to miss and maybe get shot. Depending on the state there are lots of options. You can try giving the Guardian Angels a call. http://www.guardianangels.org/chapters.php

    He recommended getting a concealed weapons permit...this would require a minimum of an eight hour class (pending which state you're in) in which you are educated on gun safety and tested on your ability to shoot. I'm all about one's right to bear arms....although I will say more states should require background checks on persons taking permit classes/purchasing firearms.

    Thank GOD I live in NH. Wet to the PD grabbed the application filled it out, turned it in with my check. Following week had my permit. Took classes on my own and practice when I can. 11 miles from my home a woman was brutally murdered by a bunch of teenage punks. LIVE FREE OR DIE

    I'm not sure how I feel about this...I really do feel like there should be some training and testing. I mean, if all you do is go get an application and are granted a permit without any proof of your ability any idiot could just go get a handgun permit. AND I am in no way, shape or form implying you don't know how to handle a handgun (kudos for following up with classes on your own)...just saying that there are some people who could and probably would get their handgun permit just because they can and they think it's cool.

    Well you do have to pass a background check. But here hunting is a way of life and that trade is passed down generation to generation. Fathers teach their sons and daughters. Here in NH we have a very low crime rate, so there arent too many idiots with guns. In Washington DC where guns are banned, there are more gun related crimes and deaths than anywhere else in the country.
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
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    Seriously can not believe that guns are just an everyday thing in america...it's scary!! :noway:

    I thought the same thing. It's sounds so weird. And please, I"m not insulting Americans. But a Canadian wouldn't even have that option. We couldn't even buy pepper spray. The best we could do is go to an outdoors/camping store and buy some bear spray.

    Well thats how we became Americans now isnt it. We are our own militia. I can not imagine waiting for a police officer to arrive to protect me. The crime would be over and done with by the time they show up. Where I live we have one cop and he goes home at 10pm. The coyotes and bears get too close to my house, saying shoo wont make them go away. I need protection. There are parts of America where guns are not allowed, but I live in NH and our motto is Live Free or Die! God Bless.

    I agree with the last comment. America is based on individual rights and the freedom to bear arms to protect ourselves. That is what makes us American. I once called the police and it took them 45 minutes to get to my house. So I bought a gun. If the police can't protect me, then I will protect myself. To me, it is taking responsibility for protecting oneself.

    Many women deal with physical and verbal abuse in this country. As a nurse, I see the results of that abuse - rape, beatings, etc. Women need to realize that they are the weaker sex as far as strength. They also need to realize that they are worth something and do not need to put up with this crap. The police not filing the report is like the good ole boys letting the pervert get away with abusing a woman. They probably got a good laugh from it for an hour or two. "Yeah, stupid ..... can't even deal with someone calling her names." "Yeah, she probably did something to bring it on."

    You know, I was a paramedic for several years and it really irked me when I would be called to a domestic and the police would ask the woman what she did to cause her spouse/boyfriend/whatever to slap her around. The truth is that the woman probably did nothing more than serve dinner two minutes late or maybe put the gravy on the potatoes and he didn't like that. Men who abuse do so because they can get away with it, because the woman won't report it or the police won't file a complaint and arrest the abuser. The woman most likely did nothing wrong. To the OP, you did nothing wrong. You need to call the police and make them file a report. Chances are, this guy will eventually harm someone - maybe a woman or a child. If a trail of abusive behavior is established, there is a better chance the guy will get the help he needs or be put in jail.

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