Tactless Boyfriend!

DTMFA

No offense, but if you have not opened up to him about your ED past, you are as much of a douche for expecting him to be sensitive about something he doesn't know about - doesn't sound like a solid relationship either way IMHO.

Grow up. He's trying to talk to you about something he can see you are passionate about. A little awkwardly perhaps, but since you're not giving him much to go on, give him a break.
And three hours at the gym?
He probably is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see you again.

He wasn't asking her to go to less classes, he was questioning why she wasn't doing 4 hours that day. Doesn't seem like someone who is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see her again.

And commenting rudely on the fact that she dared to eat the last bit of yogurt and blueberries is not talking to her about something she is passionate about. If anyone needs to grow up it is him.

The struggle is coming from within. I have a similar situation. And honestly anything the hubs says about my weight is wrong. I get super defensive. Like he will say "i love when you eat" and i feeel like he is saying "you are fat"....but hes not. I also feel like my workouts aren't good enough...but again that's jut ME "thinking" my workouts aren't good enough. You have lots and lots and lots of emotional baggage due to the ED. It's hard. Hugs.

I know exactly what you mean about the boyfriend comments... However mine usually says these things because he doesn't understand why I can't just "eat everything in moderation." He questions be because I go from exercising 5 days a week to not exercising at all. I go from not eating lunch to eating ice cream for lunch (no sugar added coconut, of course). Men just don't understand us and are just pigheaded about it sometimes. Maybe he is just worried about you or surprised that you are not sticking to your normal routine. Guys don't like change, or at least not my guy. Don't worry about how he feels about your body. Do what feels right for you. He tells me from time to time that I'm too skinny. I had a guy tell me once he liked girls "ED-thin." Don't let guys get into your head. You have to do this for yourself.

I agree that pointing out someone's BAD eating habits might be helpful. Guy or girl, NO ONE should say things like that. There's a difference between pointing out something, and being downright rude and unhelpful.

Woo..I feel your pain (and anger.) What he is doing is called "patronizing." I had to look it up because my boyfriend does this alot to me. It's a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse if he does it all the time. In other words, he may not curse or yell at you - but he makes these veiled sarcastic comments which are degrading, can ruin your self esteem, and make you feel mentally helpless to respond back with any comment that is positive.

I remember asking my boyfriend what he wanted, and his response was for me to be "healthy." I then proceeded to ask him is it really because of my health or was it because he was in love with an idea of me be skinny rather then a love for me as a person. The reason why you're not just nodding your head in agreement with the yogurt incident is because your intuition (always listen to it, it protects you) is saying that even though he seems to mean "well" something doesn't feel right.

My 2nd question to him was what did he want to change about me? He kept saying my health. (You can exchange the word health for weight) He just didn't want to be rude. I called him shallow, and said again," ARE YOU SURE THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT FOR ME TO CHANGE?" He then paused and thought about it, his eyes widened then he responded, " I want you to change nothing."

His final answer was the right one. It is NOT UP TO HIM WHAT I NEED TO CHANGE. IT is YOUR BODY. Your CHOICE.
It wasn't so much that I couldn't lose the weight, although he wasn't helping my motivation if he kept picking apart the foods I ate or the exercises I did. You don't need his validation to make yourself whole and healthy. I know we have some forms of dependency on the people we love one way or another, but my point is that if there is something he does not like about you - then that is a form of communication that is negative and you should at least defend yourself. I know I did. Talk to him about it, stand your ground. Do whatever you want to your body, you should be PROUD of yourself that you're even exercising and eating decently, most people rarely find the time or the motivation to do that.

and BTW, he was cheating on me behind my back - sending texts to his ex girlfriend and planning on meeting her. That was a wake up call for me to surround myself with positive people and lose weight and be "healthy" for myself. Not to look good for him. I forgave him, because unconditional love is unconditional. But I don't forget.

OMG your post got me going on my own rant because I remember with my old roomates (2 guys) they never picked apart anything I did and because of that I was so EXTREMELY HEALTHY and skinny. It's when you are genuinely happy and loved that the weight will come off naturally because you will be naturally motivated to change for yourself.

I don't know why everyone is giving him a free pass just because he's "a guy" and "guys say stupid things".

The part where he said something about her needing "all of it" as she finished her yogurt. That's just snarky and rude. It doesn't matter who you're talking to, or what their eating.. why would you need to make a comment like that? It sounded a lot like he was shaming you for eating the whole bowl.

Now, some girls love them a rude guy. I don't get it. But I even have friends who have the snarkiest, rudest husbands, and I just think "how do you do it?" But they just laugh off the comments.. and that works for them.

Does he always make jerk comments? Do you usually think they are funny? If so, he might just be trying to make you laugh and accidentally hit a nerve.

However, if this is something new and different.. maybe you should mention to him, just in passing.. "Hey, I don't like comments about what I eat, or how long I work out.. I'd rather you just support me" You could say it sweetly with a hug, and hopefully it will stop.

If it doesn't.. he's a jerk, and you'd be better off without him.

Grow up. He's trying to talk to you about something he can see you are passionate about. A little awkwardly perhaps, but since you're not giving him much to go on, give him a break.
And three hours at the gym?
He probably is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see you again.

Did you not read? He was criticizing her for not doing 4 hours!!!!!

Some of these responses here are making me sick.

I know right? I feel like I am on a battered women's syndrome site or something...

I suspect he was kidding when he said made the yogurt comment. Tell him how it made you feel. Watch the confused look on his face. As for the exercising, while I agree that four hours is extreme, he probably is confused because he sees it as something you like to do and consider fun that you aren't going to do and wonders why. Tell him about your ED so that he at least is warned to not joke about food and that your devotion to exercise had gone beyond fun.

And if I am wrong, end the relationship BEFORE September. You need to focus on your own health, not what he is thinking.