Any other single parents deal with this?
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Yep! Thats happen to me! You meet someone, get to know them a little bit and start to talk about your kids... in my case, i only have one daughter, but i have 2 nephews whom I claim as my kids lol . .. . But I talk about them like its nothing, bc to me, it is nothing. I'm not out here looking for a daddy for my child. She has a daddy. I'm looking for a man for ME! Now, he HAS to treat my daughter with respect. But i think most guys find those girls who have kids, who think that the guy is going to take care of the kid. in my situation, thats not true. But most women ruin that for me. . . So yea its happened to me. . sadly enough i'm still single, probably because of it. . . but, hey if they dont like to have kids around. . they aren't for you :flowerforyou:0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Not a single parent, neither have I dated one, but...
I'm 21 and if I liked the guy enough, I wouldn't have a problem with it, regardless of if I was still living at home or not.
Sure it's not ideal, but again, if I liked the guy enough it wouldn't matter. What would put me off is if the kid was a total nightmare, spoilt, disruptive behaviour etc If you keep your child relatively well behaved (all have tantrums sometimes, right?) I'm happy. If it's a regular thing, I know it wouldn't be the guys fault, but I wouldn't be able to handle that.
I'd want some time for ourselves, where it's just me and the guy I'm seeing, especially in the early days. Don't introduce me straight away, it's not fair on the kid if things don't work out. Later on, if things get more serious I'd be more than happy to meet the child, just not straight away.
Also, they have a mother of their own. I'm not there to be one. It's your responsibility to tell them off, make important decisions in their life, look after them (aside from babysitting/childminding, like you would for a friend) The only time I'd be willing to accept that role is if we were married. Even then, unless they're completely absent, they're mother's more suitable for that.
Just a POV from the other side
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Nope.
Don't date.
I'm what you'd call. . . unsociable. . . er . . . unconscionable. . . er. . .unconscious. . . er. . .0 -
I've never hid the fact that I have a son since motherhood made me the person I am now. However, when it comes down to actually making a commitment after doing the whole dating thing for awhile, men want to use him as an excuse as if he hasn't been around the entire time... :grumble: Thankfully, I don't bring numerous random guys around him and never have. I've taken a break from the dating scene because of this reason though. I'm in no rush and perfectly happy without the bs.0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Why are you dating and "smashing" little girls-(not women) that live with their parents?? You need to find a grown woman... That's a lot of your problem right there about the issues of you having a child... ****, I'm young, 23 but live on my own, like an adult should.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Why are you dating and "smashing" little girls-(not women) that live with their parents?? You need to find a grown woman... That's a lot of your problem right there about the issues of you having a child...
I'm in college lol0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
My daughter's dad takes her once every couple of months, if I'm lucky. You have a few days a week? bliss
Although - I hate that week she's away. Hate it, hate it.0 -
When I was younger, I wouldn't go near anyone with a kid, because I wanted to get married and have my own children, not raise someone else's. I really didn't do casual all that much, and so I didn't date that I didn't think wasn't likely "wife material" from the very beginning. I would suppose many young women feel the same way.
That said, if I was still unmarried at 40, that attitude would be kind of stupid, because most people have kids by then - but it makes sense when young.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
Yeah, this was my frame of mind when my original comment. Most single moms I know don't have time to have a relationship or date because their children's fathers are not involved. It's not that you don't deserve a relationship -- but if you have time for it -- you're way ahead of most people.0 -
I never dealt with that but I am a woman. I think the approach is different for both sexes. Maybe they're intimidated by the fact that your ex will always be around in some way or another.0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
Yeah, this was my frame of mind when my original comment. Most single moms I know don't have time to have a relationship or date because their children's fathers are not involved. It's not that you don't deserve a relationship -- but if you have time for it -- you're way ahead of most people.
This is why some of us just "smash" instead of date.....
I've got not only my teenage daughter but my elderly father living with me. it wouldn't even be fair for me to try to start a relationship with anyone right now, so, yeah....if there's any time at all for adult fun, you're lucky. 0 -
@ the woman who's date said she was contaminated with kid germs, that's horrible!! what a relief you missed that boat...cause honestly if that's his reaction? that tells you, you would have ended up with another child(him) by keeping that relationship... so childish...
@YaBoiMugs - I applaud your accomplishments, especially as a plugged in dad....like most single mothers, I'm with my child 24/7 except for the 3 or 4 weekends a year her father deigns to spend time with her, and one month in the summer which has now been reduced to 2 weeks thanks to child services...
I NEVER get a break to even develop adult relationships so I am jealous of your abililty to do so.
I do agree with some people that you are maybe dating a pool that's a little on the young side. or at the very least the inconsiderate side...however as they get older, they will be more understanding, you have a choice, you can wait until they get older, or you can start dating older now....by maybe dating older, at the very least you can make some lasting relationships and good connections while you're at it.
Just a suggestion...take it or leave it
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Yep! Thats happen to me! You meet someone, get to know them a little bit and start to talk about your kids... in my case, i only have one daughter, but i have 2 nephews whom I claim as my kids lol . .. . But I talk about them like its nothing, bc to me, it is nothing. I'm not out here looking for a daddy for my child. She has a daddy. I'm looking for a man for ME! Now, he HAS to treat my daughter with respect. But i think most guys find those girls who have kids, who think that the guy is going to take care of the kid. in my situation, thats not true. But most women ruin that for me. . . So yea its happened to me. . sadly enough i'm still single, probably because of it. . . but, hey if they dont like to have kids around. . they aren't for you :flowerforyou:
Exactly, I'm not looking for a mother to my child. He's got that, and trust me, nobody will ever trump her in his eyes. I'm just looking for someone to hold ME down.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Maybe you need to include "maturity" in your personality type when searching for a date. I'm 23 (a "young woman") and my husband has two kids of his own. Not a big deal. It's actually kind of nice. I get to practice a little parenting before raising my own child, find out where my husband really stands on important issues like discipline and rewards, and I get to send them home at the end of every long weekend as they beg to stay longer. Most women are forgiving of a man having children, and really, I think it can be good for them too.0 -
If they don't accept your child they aren't worth your time in the end. I was a single parent dating for a while and i know it's not fun, but once I found a guy that didn't run away scared, and we really hit it off, and he finally met my little one and they hit it off too, it's just been fabulous!! Almost 2 years ago now!!
I know it's hard right now, but ultimately if they run away because of a child they aren't the one that is meant for you Good luck! 0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Maybe you need to include "maturity" in your personality type when searching for a date. I'm 23 (a "young woman") and my husband has two kids of his own. Not a big deal. It's actually kind of nice. I get to practice a little parenting before raising my own child, find out where my husband really stands on important issues like discipline and rewards, and I get to send them home at the end of every long weekend as they beg to stay longer. Most women are forgiving of a man having children, and really, I think it can be good for them too.
Sometimes you don't find out their level of maturity until AFTER you tell them you have a child. That's when they show their true colors.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
Yeah, this was my frame of mind when my original comment. Most single moms I know don't have time to have a relationship or date because their children's fathers are not involved. It's not that you don't deserve a relationship -- but if you have time for it -- you're way ahead of most people.
This is why some of us just "smash" instead of date.....
I've got not only my teenage daughter but my elderly father living with me. it wouldn't even be fair for me to try to start a relationship with anyone right now, so, yeah....if there's any time at all for adult fun, you're lucky.
Shoot...getting time to just "smash" is next to impossible some times :grumble:0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
Yeah, this was my frame of mind when my original comment. Most single moms I know don't have time to have a relationship or date because their children's fathers are not involved. It's not that you don't deserve a relationship -- but if you have time for it -- you're way ahead of most people.
This is why some of us just "smash" instead of date.....
I've got not only my teenage daughter but my elderly father living with me. it wouldn't even be fair for me to try to start a relationship with anyone right now, so, yeah....if there's any time at all for adult fun, you're lucky.
Shoot...getting time to just "smash" is next to impossible some times :grumble:
RIGHT!?! *sigh*0 -
If a women ever hits on me...I'll let you know if my 2 kids scare her off. Who knows, maybe that has stopped some women from hitting on me as my kids are the most important part of my life.
They're 13 & 10 & if a woman doesn't want to date me because of my children, then I don't want to date her.0 -
I don't have this problem because I let people know up front, minute 1 that I have 3 kids. It's hard for them NOT to find out because I am not only a single parent, but the ONLY parent right now. I don't see how these girls you "smash" come to "find out" about your kid. If you have a kid, people you meet need to understand immediately that you are a package deal.
Unless of course, you're a dead beat.0
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