Any other single parents deal with this?
Replies
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I have two children (7 yr old twins) one of which is a special needs child. If a person can't accept that about me, then I don't want them around no matter how much we hit it off. I am a package deal... I will not change... my kids come first. Period. If they don't want you because you have a child, then they aren't woman enough to handle a good man in my opinion.
ETA: I did meet a guy who conveniently forgot that I had kids and when I mentioned something about them, he literally rolled his eyes, said I was contaminated with children germs, went to wash his hands and left.0 -
LOL I had one guy literally just get up and run off...no kidding he didn't walk, he ran! LOL But it was right off the bat during our conversation and I wasn't offended. If a guy sees my children as a burden rather than a bonus I have no use for him any way!!!!0
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I think it's easier with men because women are more accepting of it.
Oh i SOOOOOO have to disagree with this. I am a single dad and have been single for almost 6-7 years now. I find that woman can be just as turned off by men with kids as some men are. In my particular case it seems like woman want men to accept there kids but are unable to accept your kids.
To answer the original posters question, no it is not just you.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
So let me get this straight...most the women you date/smash still live with their parents (you're 26 so I'm assuming they too are in their early 20's), don't like men with kids and don't show up to dinner dates you take the time to prepare???
I do believe you need to change your taste in women...stated in the nicest way possible :flowerforyou:
Yeah, but they are some of the baddest chicks I've ever seen. She didn't show up because me having a kid is scaring her off. Said she needs time to think since she really likes me, but doesn't know if she can handle all "this." WTF is "all this?" lol0 -
I think it's easier with men because women are more accepting of it.
Oh i SOOOOOO have to disagree with this. I am a single dad and have been single for almost 6-7 years now. I find that woman can be just as turned off by men with kids as some men are. In my particular case it seems like woman want men to accept there kids but are unable to accept your kids.
To answer the original posters question, no it is not just you.
Good, glad it's not just me lol0 -
I'm very open about my being a single parent and for a long while I dated mostly single dads so that the kid issue was right out there with nothing to hide because it was something we shared.
I'm currently dating a man without kids and it didn't scare him off because we started as friends and he got to know my son and I in that capacity first.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing barely legals should be less of a priority.0 -
So I take it date #3 didn't go as planned?!0
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Yep, happened all the time when I was a single parent. Hang in there! When the right person comes along, they will love you and your child (and respect your situation)! Sometimes it is dealing with the ex people are put off by, and not the child.0
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I feel like I don't meet people genuinely anymore, its all been off dating sites so that is always the first thing I say. I don't usually get through a whole night without talking about my daughter anyway.
If someone can't accept that you have a child, they are not worth your time anyway.0 -
Not a parent, but this does happen more often than it seems. I know single parents who don't want to date other single parents because they don't want to deal w/ anyone else's children. Fact of the matter is, most people esp those in their 20's and 30's who are single, have children, so to eliminate single parents would greatly decrease the dating pool for anyone. I used to say I wouldnt' date someone with children, but as I got older, wiser, and more mature, I realized this is a lil bit shallow. We all have a past, none of are perfect, so who am I to judge someone because they have a child or children from a previous relationship? I think single parents deserve to find love just like anyone...0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.0 -
I'm lucky to have not had this problem, my eldest son is from another relationship.
i would always be upfront, to be honest, my boys are by far the biggest part of me! not sure i could keep quiet about them if i tried!!
Anyone who is not ready for your kids is not right for you, simples!!! id rather be alone than mess around with someone that does not appreciate how bloody gorgeous they are haha0 -
So I take it date #3 didn't go as planned?!
Nah, she stood me up. Had a great dinner cooked and everything. She said she needed time to think about whether or not she was ready for something serious with me. Obviously finding out about my son gave her another dynamic she wasn't ready to deal with.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
I'm not saying you don't -- I edited my comment -- I think your focusing are girls who are probably why too young to handle the kind of responsibility you have in your life. Try dating women who are older -- your results might be better.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.0 -
So I take it date #3 didn't go as planned?!
Nah, she stood me up. Had a great dinner cooked and everything. She said she needed time to think about whether or not she was ready for something serious with me. Obviously finding out about my son gave her another dynamic she wasn't ready to deal with.
Or maybe she has a profile on here and saw the question you posted yesterday and it scared her off! lol .... nah but really sorry that happened to you ;(0 -
ps.....when did "smash" become a euphamism for sex?
LOL0 -
I think it depends on your age. If you are a young single dad, I assume you probably want to date women in your age range. Maybe those women just aren't old enough to feel ready to take on the responsibility of someone else's child.0
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ps.....when did "smash" become a euphamism for sex?
LOL
Lol Idk, it's just the proper vernacular for the urban residents of Brooklyn, NY.0 -
Yep! Thats happen to me! You meet someone, get to know them a little bit and start to talk about your kids... in my case, i only have one daughter, but i have 2 nephews whom I claim as my kids lol . .. . But I talk about them like its nothing, bc to me, it is nothing. I'm not out here looking for a daddy for my child. She has a daddy. I'm looking for a man for ME! Now, he HAS to treat my daughter with respect. But i think most guys find those girls who have kids, who think that the guy is going to take care of the kid. in my situation, thats not true. But most women ruin that for me. . . So yea its happened to me. . sadly enough i'm still single, probably because of it. . . but, hey if they dont like to have kids around. . they aren't for you :flowerforyou:0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Not a single parent, neither have I dated one, but...
I'm 21 and if I liked the guy enough, I wouldn't have a problem with it, regardless of if I was still living at home or not.
Sure it's not ideal, but again, if I liked the guy enough it wouldn't matter. What would put me off is if the kid was a total nightmare, spoilt, disruptive behaviour etc If you keep your child relatively well behaved (all have tantrums sometimes, right?) I'm happy. If it's a regular thing, I know it wouldn't be the guys fault, but I wouldn't be able to handle that.
I'd want some time for ourselves, where it's just me and the guy I'm seeing, especially in the early days. Don't introduce me straight away, it's not fair on the kid if things don't work out. Later on, if things get more serious I'd be more than happy to meet the child, just not straight away.
Also, they have a mother of their own. I'm not there to be one. It's your responsibility to tell them off, make important decisions in their life, look after them (aside from babysitting/childminding, like you would for a friend) The only time I'd be willing to accept that role is if we were married. Even then, unless they're completely absent, they're mother's more suitable for that.
Just a POV from the other side
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Nope.
Don't date.
I'm what you'd call. . . unsociable. . . er . . . unconscionable. . . er. . .unconscious. . . er. . .0 -
I've never hid the fact that I have a son since motherhood made me the person I am now. However, when it comes down to actually making a commitment after doing the whole dating thing for awhile, men want to use him as an excuse as if he hasn't been around the entire time... :grumble: Thankfully, I don't bring numerous random guys around him and never have. I've taken a break from the dating scene because of this reason though. I'm in no rush and perfectly happy without the bs.0
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Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Why are you dating and "smashing" little girls-(not women) that live with their parents?? You need to find a grown woman... That's a lot of your problem right there about the issues of you having a child... ****, I'm young, 23 but live on my own, like an adult should.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Why are you dating and "smashing" little girls-(not women) that live with their parents?? You need to find a grown woman... That's a lot of your problem right there about the issues of you having a child...
I'm in college lol0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
My daughter's dad takes her once every couple of months, if I'm lucky. You have a few days a week? bliss
Although - I hate that week she's away. Hate it, hate it.0 -
When I was younger, I wouldn't go near anyone with a kid, because I wanted to get married and have my own children, not raise someone else's. I really didn't do casual all that much, and so I didn't date that I didn't think wasn't likely "wife material" from the very beginning. I would suppose many young women feel the same way.
That said, if I was still unmarried at 40, that attitude would be kind of stupid, because most people have kids by then - but it makes sense when young.0 -
Young women aren't that accepting of it. Understand, most of the woman I date, or smash, still live with their parents.
Yeah, you might have to date, or smash, gals who don't live at home. That there alone will help your situation. Oy!
It's hard, I'm still in college lol
Um, maybe, If you have children and are in college, dating or smashing should be less of a priority.
I have a 3.8 gpa, I'm an amateur boxer, and I'm an excellent father. My son is 4 and I've taught him how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, read, and write his name.
I think I have earned the right to have a bit of fun on the side too.
At least you get to have some fun on the side...the only way I can is I can find someone to watch my kids. Their dad takes our kids one or 2 days a week, if I'm lucky. Doesn't leave much time for fun
Don't get me wrong, my kids & I have a blast together; I'm talking about fun with other adults.
Yeah, this was my frame of mind when my original comment. Most single moms I know don't have time to have a relationship or date because their children's fathers are not involved. It's not that you don't deserve a relationship -- but if you have time for it -- you're way ahead of most people.0 -
I never dealt with that but I am a woman. I think the approach is different for both sexes. Maybe they're intimidated by the fact that your ex will always be around in some way or another.0
This discussion has been closed.
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