CHEESY JOKES THREAD

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  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    What's small and screams and can't turn corners?

    A baby....with a spear through it.

    What's black and white and red and can't fit thru a door?

    a nun with a spear thru her head
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

    Snowballs.
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
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    What's red, white, and blue and goes 100 miles an hour?

    Smurf's in a blender.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
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    How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?

    . . .
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
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    End the seat up/seat down debate by using the sink!
  • Rixx31
    Rixx31 Posts: 220 Member
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    What do you call a...

    Man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?
    Bob

    A man with a shovel on his head?
    Doug

    A woman who can balance a bottle of beer in each hand and a pool cue between her knees?
    Beatrix Potter
  • Rixx31
    Rixx31 Posts: 220 Member
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    One more.

    Q:What do you get if you cross a donkey leg with an onion?

    A: A piece of *kitten* that makes your eyes water
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    Q: What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?



    A: Dr. Dre
  • MNguerita
    MNguerita Posts: 198 Member
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    what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    Eleph-ino! (get it??? He-double hockey sticks if I know?!?!?) cracks me up every time!!!!
  • ashbee03
    ashbee03 Posts: 270 Member
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    how do you make a tissue dance?

    ...


    you put a little boogie in it.


    :P
  • jenbridges
    jenbridges Posts: 213 Member
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    What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

    Most kids won't eat broccoli!
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
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    why do seagulls live by the sea?

    if the lived by the bay they would be bagels!
  • Puddles0308
    Puddles0308 Posts: 74
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    What special team did the Police put together to combat insects?



    The SWAT team!
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
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    What do you call a pig that knows Karate?

    A pork chop!
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
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    Why do fish live in salt water?

    Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  • Puddles0308
    Puddles0308 Posts: 74
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    What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?



    About halfway! hehe
  • nicescent
    nicescent Posts: 44
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    Just received this from a friend. enjoy. not really jokes but good anyway.

    When a chemist dies, they barium.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. However, he says he can stop any
    time.

    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
    herbivore.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I just can't put it down.

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

    PMS jokes aren't funny ¬ period.

    Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
    couldn't control her pupils?

    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    Broken pencils are pointless.

    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police
    have nothing to go on.

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    Velcro is a rip off!

    A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!

    The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

    Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
  • NoleGirl0918
    NoleGirl0918 Posts: 213 Member
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    Courtesy of my 5 y/o:

    Child: Why did the chicken sit on the nest? Adult: i don't know why? Child: Because he didn't have a chair!!!! (followed by hilarious laughing).

    :bigsmile:
  • kariebo
    kariebo Posts: 101
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    What do you cal a brunette and three blondes on a street corner? Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.

    That one is kinda dated...think pizza hut.

    lol... i remember that.....
  • ScotsLad1874
    ScotsLad1874 Posts: 69
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    What do you say if you see a blind dinosaur

    Doyouthinkhesaurus

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