Would you be offended...
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I think a distinction needs to be made between loving and caring for your partner (the emotional level of your relationship) and sexual attraction (the physical level of your relationship). A person can love and care for you, emotionally commit to you fully and completely, and dedicate time everyday to making you feel happy and accepted and generally enjoy spending time with you.
But that doesn't mean that you necessarily push their sexy time buttons. You shouldn't feel put of if, upon dropping a ton of pounds and generally becoming a more fit person, Your partner is more turned on by you. And Likely, You'll feel more turned on because you'll feel more confident in yourself and, lets face it, you'll be in better shape for better sex.
My two cents (and the only opinion from a guy in this thread, apparently.)
^^^THIS^^^ is the best comment here.
I totally agree!0 -
when you feel better about yourself the confidence shines through like a light. so chances are it's not the weight loss that has him gaga over you, it's the confidence in yourself that makes you irresistable to him. :-)0
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I don't think I would be (key word there being think); My husband and I are both trying to lose weight and get in shape together. I know he likes smaller women, just like I enjoy looking at fit men, so I don't think it'll upset me too much if my husband enjoys having a trim wife once I get this weight off....because I know (And this is super shallow, but I'm not going to lie about it) I'll enjoy his body more once the fat starts coming off.0
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This is my fear.What if the opposite? What if he lost interest when you got thinner?0 -
I think a distinction needs to be made between loving and caring for your partner (the emotional level of your relationship) and sexual attraction (the physical level of your relationship). A person can love and care for you, emotionally commit to you fully and completely, and dedicate time everyday to making you feel happy and accepted and generally enjoy spending time with you.
But that doesn't mean that you necessarily push their sexy time buttons. You shouldn't feel put of if, upon dropping a ton of pounds and generally becoming a more fit person, Your partner is more turned on by you. And Likely, You'll feel more turned on because you'll feel more confident in yourself and, lets face it, you'll be in better shape for better sex.
My two cents (and the only opinion from a guy in this thread, apparently.)
^^ This is TOTALLY, COMPLETELY TRUE! I worry that my husband won't be as attracted to me when I lose weight. He doesn't have a problem with me now but I KNOW he would be more attracted when I lose more weight. I know that he loves me and that is what matters. He's been supportive, caring, loving and we have a great sexual relationship now BUT quite honestly if he wasn't as attracted to me when I get smaller it would be shocking because *I* don't like looking at myself without clothes. Anyway I know that him being more attracted to me doesn't mean he loves me less. I KNOW he loves me and that has nothing to do with what I look like!
Angel0 -
No. Men are visual. The better the view, the more aroused they are. It's biology.
Right on the money. A man would not love you any more or less, but he would be more aroused.0 -
No I wouldn´t be offended.
I´m not happy or feel attractive with the way I look then why should someone else be?
It would probable encourage me to keep on and do even better.0 -
I think a distinction needs to be made between loving and caring for your partner (the emotional level of your relationship) and sexual attraction (the physical level of your relationship). A person can love and care for you, emotionally commit to you fully and completely, and dedicate time everyday to making you feel happy and accepted and generally enjoy spending time with you.
But that doesn't mean that you necessarily push their sexy time buttons. You shouldn't feel put of if, upon dropping a ton of pounds and generally becoming a more fit person, Your partner is more turned on by you. And Likely, You'll feel more turned on because you'll feel more confident in yourself and, lets face it, you'll be in better shape for better sex.
My two cents (and the only opinion from a guy in this thread, apparently.)
Totally This ^^^^ I would have used my own words, but this was perfectly stated already0 -
Nope. When I got married I was 126 and 5'6. We recently had a baby where I gained a whooping 51 lbs! I wasn't happy with the way I looked so why should I expect my husband to be? He never made me feel lesser but he wanted me to me happy, confident and feeling sexy. So he's been there with me encouraging a healthy way of loosing the weight. I feel more loved through this then if he were lying to me, saying he was attracted when he wasn't, just to save my feelings.0
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Yeah...I don't know why it offends me but it does. Maybe because I feel he wouldn't love me as much if I put on weight, which disgusts me.
He showed me a picture of Miranda Kerr, and I said "I think she's absolutely gorgeous" and he said "yeah but you're hotter because she's heavier than you". MIRANDA KERR of all people. So if I were to have the body of a supermodel that would STILL be too heavy for him to find attractive.
I don't know why I got so offended but I did...0 -
^^^^^^^^^I think it's a confidence thing.
You feel more confident after losing weight and that's what they find attractive!
Not THIS!
No, we find a fit body more attractive than a fat, flabby body.
Let's not try to make this the Oprah Winfrey show.
OMG!!! I love how REAL you are!!! Sending you a friend request!!!! LMFAO!!!
And, no...I wouldn't be offended. I've been the fat girl, and I'm now the fit girl (for the past 6 years). I don't want some dude who's butt-to-gut ratio is the same. (Or worse...he has more *kitten* in the FRONT than in the back!)
So, I can understand when my mate found me more attractive when I became "thin" as opposed to when I was "thick" (ok, FAT). Hell...I found MYSELF more attractive when I lost a bunch of weight. Just saying!0 -
He's showing you pictures of random women and rating your attractiveness compared to theirs, can't see why you'd be offended by that at all...Yeah...I don't know why it offends me but it does. Maybe because I feel he wouldn't love me as much if I put on weight, which disgusts me.
He showed me a picture of Miranda Kerr, and I said "I think she's absolutely gorgeous" and he said "yeah but you're hotter because she's heavier than you". MIRANDA KERR of all people. So if I were to have the body of a supermodel that would STILL be too heavy for him to find attractive.
I don't know why I got so offended but I did...0 -
Love isn't the same thing as sexual attraction. That's some high school stuff right there.
I wouldn't be too thrilled about banging me right now. I don't expect the hubby to be very gung ho about it either. I'm mopey. I don't like myself. I want lights off and under covers. Don't look at me. That kind of sex isn't fun.
BUT I know that as I tone up and drop some pounds, I'm going to be more excited about my body. I'll feel less self-conscious and more willing to let go and have fun. I'll be smaller and more able to find sexytime dress up clothes, etc.
While I want to get healthy, my main goal is to look good naked. I look okay in clothes right now; chubby, but okay. Naked is a totally different story. When I reach my goal, I WANT my hubby to be more attracted to me. I want to be more attracted to myself. I wanna look in the mirror and say "Man, I'd totally bang me!"0 -
^^^^^^^^^I think it's a confidence thing.
You feel more confident after losing weight and that's what they find attractive!
Not THIS!
No, we find a fit body more attractive than a fat, flabby body.
Let's not try to make this the Oprah Winfrey show.
Love that your so honest. Sending you a friend request.0 -
I don't think I would because it is probably about more than the weight loss. There are a whole host of other things that come with weight loss: increased confidence, a greater interest in sex, dressing better etc so I think it is about more than the losing weight. It is about the change in attitude too. What can be more sexy than a confident you that loves and values herself and her body whatever her shape...0
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I am puzzled that people find simple attraction so hard a concept to grasp.
^^^^^^^^^I think it's a confidence thing.
You feel more confident after losing weight and that's what they find attractive!
Not THIS!
No, we find a fit body more attractive than a fat, flabby body.
Let's not try to make this the Oprah Winfrey show.
OMG!!! I love how REAL you are!!! Sending you a friend request!!!! LMFAO!!!
And, no...I wouldn't be offended. I've been the fat girl, and I'm now the fit girl (for the past 6 years). I don't want some dude who's butt-to-gut ratio is the same. (Or worse...he has more *kitten* in the FRONT than in the back!)
So, I can understand when my mate found me more attractive when I became "thin" as opposed to when I was "thick" (ok, FAT). Hell...I found MYSELF more attractive when I lost a bunch of weight. Just saying!
Fit = beautuful
Fat = not.....:flowerforyou:
It's not meant to be unkind but to have the courage to hear and accept reality.
Our best is always better than not our best.
That's why we're here on MFP~!0 -
Yes! Couldn't have said it better.I am puzzled that people find simple attraction so hard a concept to grasp.
Fit = beautuful
Fat = not.....:flowerforyou:
It's not meant to be unkind but to have the courage to hear and accept reality.
Our best is always better than not our best.
That's why we're here on MFP~!0 -
No, thats naive. I know personally i look better now than in January but to expect otherwise is just silly0
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Yes and no.
Yes because I thought I was pretty good looking "piece of real estate" in the first place. No, because I've worked hard to make myself look good, who else should appreciate it more than the person that you have been with for an extended period of time and developed a relationship with. Why can't the man (or woman) you love have an intense desire to want to smother you with extra affection?0 -
Yes! Couldn't have said it better.I am puzzled that people find simple attraction so hard a concept to grasp.
Fit = beautuful
Fat = not.....:flowerforyou:
It's not meant to be unkind but to have the courage to hear and accept reality.
Our best is always better than not our best.
That's why we're here on MFP~!
im fat and beautiful... i want to get fit for my health not my looks...0
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