Who should pay when dating? men/women/both

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  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
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    Who ever does the asking out. That's how I used to run it. Now that I am an old married woman (lol) whoever has the most money on them pays. :bigsmile: Granted it's always my DH. I leave the tip.
  • deang55
    deang55 Posts: 5
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    You ever break up, let me know!! LOL!!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    I usually pay, because the pimps get pretty pissed when I don't.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jessicaallsorts
    jessicaallsorts Posts: 22
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    Going Dutch? Never heard this expression before!

    I think if a man skis me out then it's nice for him to pay, though I'd offer.

    After that, definitely 50/50.

    I don't want to go Germaine Greer on your *kitten* but definitely don't want a man to 'take care' of me...financially anyway...All da women who independent., throw your hands up at meeee! Haha

    Mind you, maybe I should let some old fashioned chaps into my life a little more!
  • bbshell0219
    bbshell0219 Posts: 32
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    I think the man should pay.
  • JacquelineD35
    JacquelineD35 Posts: 279 Member
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    Just a purely curious topic.

    When you are dating someone (not the first date) who do you think should pay? Men 100% of the time, or is it ok to go 50/50?

    I have been in both situations and not sure which one I prefer. I have been with a man who NEVER let me pay and overtime I felt bad becuase I wasn't dating him for a 'free ride'. I have also been with a man who paid the first date but after that I offered to share the bill and it became the norm -- or one paid the movie, one paid dinner, etc. This is totally ok for me, but once in awhile I think it would be nice for them to reject me and pay...

    I realize men like to 'take care' of women, so does going dutch offend men?

    So just curious on thoughts!!

    MY RULES :

    he asks me somewhere, he should pay (unless it's really exspensive, then I will help)

    I ask him somewhere, I SHOULD PAY

    if we both want to go somewhere/do something mutually, then going dutch isn't a problem :smile:

    if he insists on paying ... well, we'll see how it turns out haha

    Agree, I dont mind paying at all but if the guy asks me out then he should pay.
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    Whoever does the asking does the paying.

    Can I take you to dinner? Implies I am hosting the evening and I will pay the costs.
  • obolton756
    obolton756 Posts: 261 Member
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    on my first date with my boyfriend.. he paid.. not gonna lie, i kinda liked that he did, he was the one who asked me out, picked me up and chose where to go etc, i also thought it was really nice of him to pay while i went to the bathroom at the end of the meal so there was no awkwardness... lol

    its been 2 and a half years now and its no longer an issue at all, i pay about half the time... although he still TRIES to pay for me all the time...

    i don't think there should be any set rule about it.. it all depends on the situation...
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    The men! Once again, they are paying for the pleasure of my company. Plus I'm in the south now. I have plenty of my own money but I'd rather let the guy take care of paying. Less headaches for me and he can feel good about providing for me. ;)
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    I guess it depends on what you're comfortable with. I'm okay with footing the bill so long as I have the funds and I'm okay with going dutch. If he's adamant he's going to pay or, like one time with my boyfriend, he automatically pays without consulting me, I'm alright with that too. Especially if it's cash, I don't carry a lot of it with me.

    Really why should we designate the footer of the bill? Everyone has their own ideas and comfort levels when it concerns money and coming across as polite.
  • xsabrinalynn
    xsabrinalynn Posts: 146 Member
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    My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We don't have a 50/50, we just somewhat take turns so to speak. Sometimes, I'll pay completely and oher times he will. When we first began dating, he insisted on paying for everything. I'm a working lady and very independent so I like to pay for things too!
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
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    He pays on dates, but once I'm in a relationship, my independent side comes out and I like to share all responsibilities if I can afford it.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Simple deal.
    If I invite, I pay.
    And any real gentleman will ALWAYS offer to pay.
    If you're broke and can't afford to be diamond Jim, then invite her to the park for a picnic or for a walk in the woods.
    Live beneath your means, and you will never stress over money.
    If she likes you and you like her, just being together is enough.
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
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    for an official date I think men. But I am an old fashioned gal. but when in a mutal commited relationship I think things should be equal
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
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    Well, without researching the archives *dorky computer beeping sounds*, I would imagine it was originally based on the fact that men worked outside the home more; and thus it would be silly to ask or expect the woman to pay if she wasn't working. Just guessing ...

    But today it's much different ... (love the rock/paper/scissors idea by the way!) ... however I'm still a traditionalist, but I would never pay if it was making my partner uncomfortable ... I would always offer, but never fight for the check.

    Every relationship and situation is different ... relationship building is worth far more than bill anyway :) ... I've always made a decent income and would have felt odd if I didn't pay, but there were time in my dating days I let the check slide over! :) ... whatever works for the couple!
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
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    No fence riding for me. The man pays.
    Why? :huh:

    It's been so long since I dated, but if I offered to take someone out for dinner and I chose the restaurant, then I'd pay, and we'd usually share rounds on any pre/post-dinner drinks.

    If we met for a drink and decided to go out for a meal, then we'd split the bill.

    It's a total nonsense for a woman to expect a man to pay for everything on a date, especially in this day and age when we're supposed to have equality and in some cases a woman may earn far more than a man.

    I guess being gay it's more or a level playing field, but I would never have gone on a date with the assumption that everything was going to be paid for!

    ^^ Agree with all of this! Didn't matter if I was going on a date with a man or a woman, I've always believed that whoever invited pays or we just go dutch.

    Now, my girlfriend and I just kinda go with the flow... 'tis the reason why we're inseparable and don't bicker about small things like this lol :bigsmile:
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    I have been married for 22 years, so I am not in the dating scene. BUT, I know right at first, he paid for our dates, but then we just took turns paying. Lke he would get dinner and i would do the movies. We were both working and going to school, so money was tight for both of us....so why should he have to pay for everything just because he is a male.


    Funny thing is, when we go out now, I usually pay. But that is because we use his money to live....like pay the bills and so forth. And my money pays for us to do fun things. In the end, it is still "our money" but I guess I am the one that has the cash!! haha!
  • Kebabmeatchips
    Kebabmeatchips Posts: 32 Member
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    Reading most of the posts so far, it appears that in the US it is still mostly the Man that pays. In Europe, especially here in London, UK - many Women earn as much if not more than men so it is common to "go dutch" here or even for the Woman to pay. Both myself and my wife shared most bills during dating, and still do now with joint account.

    In Europe its allot more equal and modern (non chauvinistic) to share costs, and happy to do so.

    Also we do not have the complication of "tipping" either here - how does that work in the US?
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    I have been married for 22 years, so I am not in the dating scene. BUT, I know right at first, he paid for our dates, but then we just took turns paying. Lke he would get dinner and i would do the movies. We were both working and going to school, so money was tight for both of us....so why should he have to pay for everything just because he is a male.


    Funny thing is, when we go out now, I usually pay. But that is because we use his money to live....like pay the bills and so forth. And my money pays for us to do fun things. In the end, it is still "our money" but I guess I am the one that has the cash!! haha!

    You've got it tink, plus your man is crazy smart and yet you own it. Kiss!
  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
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    In my house it depends on the situation. If it just let's get something to eat, we split. If I am really wanting to eat somewhere specific, I pay or we're not going. I always offer to pay my share, but often if it was his suggestion, he'll offer to pay my share. I would not be comfortable with the man paying all the time.

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