Not attracted to overweight women = "shallow"?

As an over weight woman who hates my weight I can understand why men wouldn't find it attractive... I don't find myself attractive! Fair play. Having said that recently I've been getting a lot more attention off men. I'm still 230lbs but I must be getting a more acceptable weight! X

I know what you mean!! I am gay too, many of my friends are very slim women though. They get plenty of attention from guys, so I know lots of guys like small women and there is nothing wrong with that at all of course. But few guys would admit to liking very slim women because people act like they are horrible if they do!!

I think in general life people should not discriminate on weight or anything else. But sexual attraction is special case. People have different tastes, it is just a natural thing, you can't control it or rationalise it, it just is what it is. And you shouldn't apologise for that. People who like very slim people, or aren't into big people, nothing wrong in it. From the other view, some people are into very big people, and they too are made to feel like they are bad- either because they are considered weird by the mainstream, or even by bigger people themselves, who say they feel they are being seen as a weird fetish object... you can't win!!

I think the whole idea is insiduously anti fat still; because if you think about it, it is saying that if a guy likes bigger people, he is really NICE, like he is being charitable, or that he is UNSHALLOW; so it is basically saying, if he likes bigger people, it must be because he doesn't care about looks much, because overweight people can't look good. So for all its pretensions of being right on, that sort of talk is still saying fat equals ugly.

The facts are, people have various tastes. Everyone will be totally sexual attractive to someone, and not to others. I think the way is to be how makes you happy, you shouldn't just be to please others, and it would be impossible to please everyone anyways!
xxx

Nope but a lot of people will hate on you for it.

How about if the person you are marrried to/ in a relationship with gains 50 lbs? I gained 35 my husband was fine with it but likes that I have lost 27 of those lbs???

I don`t consider it shallow per se. If we`re talking about pictures in a magazine or random people walking along in my gym, then yes, I have a type. Mostly, it`s men over 40 with a little gray around the temples, good skin, nice eyes, a great smile, tall, a bit of chest definition, but not too muscle-y.. yum, lol.

However, I`ve been attracted to men of varying ages and body types. In my case, it`s related to the way the person IS. There have been men who I`ve loved at first sight and then grown to loathe - the horrible personality and behavior, a sense of entitlement, misogynist behaviour.. it outweighs any physical atraction that was there. And then the opposite - an overweight or older person whose personality makes them the MOST attractive person in the room.

I think you eliminate a lot of potential partners if you don`t get to know the person. I`m attached, but if I weren`t, I`d want to keep my options and mind open.

Not finding someone attractive based on some physical features (in this case weight) is not shallow. Deciding it's okay to ridicule someone or say insensitive things because they posses a feature you consider unattractive, under the assumption it's a fault does cross the line. Remembering that even though they are not a person worthy of your affection, they still are worthy of common decency is important.

You really can't help who you're attracted to. Everyone has different taste. The only time I would ever get on someone's case (for not "being attracted to" someone else) is if they were being a cocky pr!ck about it and hurting the other person's feelings.

^^ This.

If a guy said to me. "No sorry, I don't date fat chicks." Then he would get hurt from being a prick. However if he just said "Thanks but you're not my type." Then it would be fine.

We all have our types and I can't do anything to change that. Now there will be some people with low self esteem that might read into that and get angry thinking it was because he/she was fat. Can't do anything about those people either. They have to find their own way to cope with lives.

Not being attracted to someone just because of a preference doesn't necessarily make you shallow. It depends on tact. You may not be attracted to a woman/man because of their appearance/weight, but openly going "no fat dudes/no fat chicks" would make you appear shallow. However, if you're respecful about it "Sorry, not my type", then it's a matter of preference.

However in my opinion, being prejudiced or hating a certain group of people for their appearance (male or female), i'd consider that shallow.

i am definitely attracted to tall, thin men, but neither my ex-husband nor my current boyfriend have met this "ideal". for me, attraction is far more chemical and destined by overall lifestyle & spirituality / philosophy.

i have always been a "heavy" woman and have never had a problem finding a boyfriend, ever. i know that maybe the "ideal" for some of the men I had dated was different than my body shape, but really I have found that it's less important to most men than one might think (via media).

a *kitten* is a *kitten* no matter how you fill it.

this!

I dont take that personal anymore. at all. because I stopped and thought about how im attracted to fit guys. im not generally (there are exceptions) into fat guys. my reasoning? i have enough fat for both of us! lol. but really. im working hard to give my ideal match something they want too. everyone has a type. just dont be a **** about it, and its all good.

It is shallow, but I wouldn't want to date someone who likes me or loves me but can't stand to look at me/touch me because of my weight.

You wouldn't be doing overweight women any favor by dating them (you know, if you were interested in women) *DESPITE* their weight ... that's worse than a sting of "no, thanks. I'm not interested" right away.

And really, we're all shallow ... at the beginning of any relationship, it's about the shallow stuff. It's only months and years into knowing someone that you get to the "deeper" stuff.

I think judging someone's abilities, personality or worth or criticizing them based on their weight is pretty damn shallow, but if you're not attracted to someone then you're just not attracted to them. Nothing at all wrong with that. I personally find dark tans unattractive. I don't think that makes me shallow or a bad person.

Different strokes for different folks.

Of course it's not shallow.
When was the last time a fat girl won Ms America or Ms Universe?
HELLO!
And when was the last time the Chippendale dancers hired a fat guy?
Ain't going to happen.
It's not unkind to be truthful.
I WAS UGLY FAT!
My wife even told me she was no longer attracted to me. She did not fall in love with and marry a fat guy.
Not shallow!
Reality.
Welcome to the human race.:drinker:

That ^ being said, just because it's not shallow, doesn't mean you aren't a rude douche nozzle if you feel free to say to any overweight woman who asks you out, "sorry, I don't do fatties" or something similar.

I think this bypasses shallow and goes straight to douchebaggery personally.

I don't think it's shallow. I don't think we can control what we're going to find attractive or not. If it's there it's there, if it isn't it isn't.

What I do think is shallow though, is completely ruling out someone who does not meet your visual definition of perfect. Looks are only a small part of the equation.