Unfriended for being too fat?

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  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    i unfriend people all the time for not eating the way i do. if they're not active. if they have views i don't agree with, etc.

    i don't see the big deal.

    I can see unfriending people who aren't active, or have different views, etc. But because they've got more to lose than you do, that's childish. I can see unfriending someone who eats crappy and then has to work their tail off to burn those calories off because obviously, they're not taking this seriously. Or someone who thinks starvation mode is the way to go... I get that do. So I do have to ask (and hopefully you'll answer); What do you mean by "not eating the way I do?"

    REALLY? You don't want to be friends with people whose food choices differ from yours? And what harm is there if a friend isn't active for a while? Seriously.
  • mzfiyaa
    mzfiyaa Posts: 94 Member
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    2 bad for her that is horrible to delete someone because of there weightloss goal.....Dont feel bad thr are a lot of us on here that wants to lose 100 pounds or more and would love to be friends.....Dont worry or stress about it...
  • mistigoodwin
    mistigoodwin Posts: 411 Member
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    You don't need friends like that anyway!!! Her loss!
  • StirFriedGiblets
    StirFriedGiblets Posts: 89
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    I received a friend request a few days ago along with a message from the person..I'm not including the whole message, but this was part of it
    They say you lose more weight if you have friends to help motivate you. I liked your post and maybe we can motivate each other. I don't have much to say to people who have to lose 100 pounds or so because I have enough of a fear of being fat so that between 20 and 25 pounds is the limit that happens to me before I start back down.

    I had accepted the request and replied to her that I was one of "those" people who needed to lose close to 100 lbs and how that came about. I was nice about it and today I realize she's unfriended me...really? I guess I'm fortunate I've made it this far in life without dealing with discrimination...but from someone that also needs to lose weight? All I can say is..wow.

    Some people genuinely have a fear for fat people. One CBT session I had, the therapist said the person who needed help couldn't bear to be in the same room as her because she was fat.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    perhaps you should ask her WHY she deleted you instead of jumping to conclusions. I know for me-I want friends with "similar" fitness and weight goals-as it is hard for me to understand what it would be like to have a lot of weight to lose. Not saying I would delete someone for that reason but I would hesitate accepting a request if our goals were vastly different.

    typically-I only delete people that don't offer the same support I do.
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
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    Wow you are better off.. more deserving people out there who would love to support you!.. Please add me... love my friends :)
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i unfriend people all the time for not eating the way i do. if they're not active. if they have views i don't agree with, etc.

    i don't see the big deal.

    I can see unfriending people who aren't active, or have different views, etc. But because they've got more to lose than you do, that's childish. I can see unfriending someone who eats crappy and then has to work their tail off to burn those calories off because obviously, they're not taking this seriously. Or someone who thinks starvation mode is the way to go... I get that do. So I do have to ask (and hopefully you'll answer); What do you mean by "not eating the way I do?"

    i do a ketogenic diet. it's hard to be friends with 'calorie counters'. they mean well, but sometimes their ideas on meals/snacks just aren't what i need. it's nothing personal! i just want friends with similar goals.
  • gr8grl68
    gr8grl68 Posts: 417 Member
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    I notice on MFP that there is a distinction between those who have 20lbs or less to lose, the people in between, and then the obese people who have 100lbs or more to lose. I don't really give a crap anymore. I'm on here to lose weight, plan on losing it, and if you can't support that, leave me the hell alone.


    THIS!!! ^^^^:drinker:
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    i unfriend people all the time for not eating the way i do. if they're not active. if they have views i don't agree with, etc.

    i don't see the big deal.

    I can see unfriending people who aren't active, or have different views, etc. But because they've got more to lose than you do, that's childish. I can see unfriending someone who eats crappy and then has to work their tail off to burn those calories off because obviously, they're not taking this seriously. Or someone who thinks starvation mode is the way to go... I get that do. So I do have to ask (and hopefully you'll answer); What do you mean by "not eating the way I do?"

    i do a ketogenic diet. it's hard to be friends with 'calorie counters'. they mean well, but sometimes their ideas on meals/snacks just aren't what i need. it's nothing personal! i just want friends with similar goals.

    maybe your on the wrong site if you find it hard to be friends with calorie counters!
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
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    how are you sure she unfriended you because you are fat? i've unfreinded people for a number of reasons, they werent eating enough and it was becoming clear they were trying to hide an eating disorder, or because they were being inconsistent with logging daily, or because they repeatedly kept "falling off the wagon" and leaving for days/weeks at a time. she probably had other reasons for deleting you.
  • applejuice3977
    applejuice3977 Posts: 18
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    Yep, phewy on them!!!!!!!
  • davidr730
    davidr730 Posts: 126 Member
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    Everyone struggles with things in their own way. It's better to feel sad for people like that than to be angry at them. Feel free to friend me if you would like encouragement.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
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    why would you want a mfp friend who's that shallow. oh well i'm sure it's her loss. feel free to friend me. i don't care how much you have to lose as long as you give it your all. :) oh and if your profile pic is really you - you look great!
    I received a friend request a few days ago along with a message from the person..I'm not including the whole message, but this was part of it
    They say you lose more weight if you have friends to help motivate you. I liked your post and maybe we can motivate each other. I don't have much to say to people who have to lose 100 pounds or so because I have enough of a fear of being fat so that between 20 and 25 pounds is the limit that happens to me before I start back down.

    I had accepted the request and replied to her that I was one of "those" people who needed to lose close to 100 lbs and how that came about. I was nice about it and today I realize she's unfriended me...really? I guess I'm fortunate I've made it this far in life without dealing with discrimination...but from someone that also needs to lose weight? All I can say is..wow.
  • gc_tweety
    gc_tweety Posts: 205 Member
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    I have never even considered how much someone had to lose when I have asked to be or have been friended - strange. Hope you didn't let her get you down even for a second.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i unfriend people all the time for not eating the way i do. if they're not active. if they have views i don't agree with, etc.

    i don't see the big deal.

    I can see unfriending people who aren't active, or have different views, etc. But because they've got more to lose than you do, that's childish. I can see unfriending someone who eats crappy and then has to work their tail off to burn those calories off because obviously, they're not taking this seriously. Or someone who thinks starvation mode is the way to go... I get that do. So I do have to ask (and hopefully you'll answer); What do you mean by "not eating the way I do?"

    i do a ketogenic diet. it's hard to be friends with 'calorie counters'. they mean well, but sometimes their ideas on meals/snacks just aren't what i need. it's nothing personal! i just want friends with similar goals.

    maybe your on the wrong site if you find it hard to be friends with calorie counters!

    this is the exact attitude i mean.


    i have plenty of great friends here, and i wouldn't trade them for the world.
  • gayje
    gayje Posts: 230 Member
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    what a meany pants! i hope she reads your post and feels shamed by her discriminatory and judgemental choices. I have 39 pounds to loose and I am sending you a friend request right now!
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
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    I am also guilty of unfriending members when I see them only eating 400 calories a day or only eating fast food.

    But I always include a message on their page: "Sorry I can't be part of your journey towards weight loss but I wish you all the success in the world, good luck!"

    We just don't have anything in common. I am on a lifestyle journey, not a quick fix journey with heath problems down the line.

    You have your reasons hunny but it goes to show you though that you are still a really nice person to do that. If half off the ones said that to me I would be happy that they decided to let me know anyways
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    i unfriend people all the time for not eating the way i do. if they're not active. if they have views i don't agree with, etc.

    i don't see the big deal.

    I can see unfriending people who aren't active, or have different views, etc. But because they've got more to lose than you do, that's childish. I can see unfriending someone who eats crappy and then has to work their tail off to burn those calories off because obviously, they're not taking this seriously. Or someone who thinks starvation mode is the way to go... I get that do. So I do have to ask (and hopefully you'll answer); What do you mean by "not eating the way I do?"

    i do a ketogenic diet. it's hard to be friends with 'calorie counters'. they mean well, but sometimes their ideas on meals/snacks just aren't what i need. it's nothing personal! i just want friends with similar goals.

    maybe your on the wrong site if you find it hard to be friends with calorie counters!

    this is the exact attitude i mean.


    i have plenty of great friends here, and i wouldn't trade them for the world.

    good for you!
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
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    Maybe she just wanted friends with similar weight loss goals?
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    I notice on MFP that there is a distinction between those who have 20lbs or less to lose, the people in between, and then the obese people who have 100lbs or more to lose. I don't really give a crap anymore. I'm on here to lose weight, plan on losing it, and if you can't support that, leave me the hell alone.

    I've noticed that too, especially the >20 and 100< groups. Then there are groups of maintainers... It is very sectional on MFP, which is odd considering that everyone's end goal is personal health and fitness!

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