Stop saying great job when it's not!!!
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All I have to say is...you are absolutely right. I am guilty of it. In fact if any of my friends reads this, they can confirm what I'm saying is true. I am guilty as sin of saying good job to everyone. In the beginning, I did not look at the diary and some diary's are closed, so obviously if I said good job, it was because they did not go over their cals for the day. Now I make it a habbit only if the diary is open and available, to view it and see what they ate and then I will still comment great job if in fact they have struggled with something but did better on it that day, hell yes I'm going to say good job, because it is.
One thing for sure, every friend I have, I make a personal effort to get to know them one way or the other and I'm not the type to just hit the accept button just to have a wall full of faces. Believe it or not, I actually have somewhat of a relationship even with ones who admit to me they are struggling with an eating disorder, so when I see they would only eat 500 and now they are up to 900, hell yes again I'm going to say great job, because I know they are working to get help for themselves. Frankly I think it's up to the individual themselves to make that decision, and not up to the person on the out side looking in, tripping off what they see.
We need to get the full picture before making assumptions. So far no one has complained and every single one of my friends loves the hell out of me cause I make them smile and feel like they are someone. Whether fat, skinny, overeater, or undereater, I make everyone welcome and feel like they can be a winner. As for a response to everything else that was said in the rant, already forgot, got to caught up on the real issue at hand. Love and be love
Prudencey0 -
^This one, she just about said it like I did.I get what you're saying. I do, but here's my answer.
I don't eat completely clean and I don't expect my friends to either. So, if I see McDonalds or Pizza Hut on their list and they still keep it under? I'm gonna say "great job" and, yes, actually mean it. I don't even care if it's every day as long as they're under, especially if they are just starting out.
Also, when my friends (myself included) go on vacation and go over by 100 to 500 calories one or two days, I'm not going to beat them up over it. I'm going to praise them for not going 3,500 calories in one day and totally setting themselves back. Will I tell them to kick it in gear the next day? Yes, but I'm not going to pass their "day" by, by not saying anything just because they over did it a little. We all make mistakes.
Oh, and I also have a friend that hardly gets up to 1000 calories a day, but when she does, I say "good job" and mean it, because 1000 calories is better than what she was doing. See, you may not see this as a "good job," but I will, because I've been following what she's been doing.
Bottom line, I refuse to snub my nose at people or scroll past their post just because their weightloss actions don't "measure up" to whatever is "ideal." If they are trying and still having a bad day or, heck, even a week, I'll give them praise for what little they actually did while also giving them a nudge to kick it back in gear. I do this, because I feel praise does wonders over negativity/nothing at all. It's what helps me; So, I want to do that for my pals as well.0 -
I don't care what you ate I don't commend people for deciding to stop eating for the day! sorry that's just my take.
I also don't post every calorie I burn, i'm not into fishing for compliments.
Our bodies burn calories even when we are watching tv so why post calories burnt walking to the corner store?0 -
I think I figured the system out. 8=4, 9=6 and a 10=8. I was just cracking up at that thread.Kinda like in the rating threads....lol...never seen so many 8-9-10s in my life!
Im a solid 6.5...7 when im lean.....but Im hilarious and have personality...
woodplow.jpg0 -
I don't care what you ate I don't commend people for deciding to stop eating for the day! sorry that's just my take.
I also don't post every calorie I burn, i'm not into fishing for compliments.
Our bodies burn calories even when we are watching tv so why post calories burnt walking to the corner store?
Hey...I posted my calorie burn running to the cupcake store as part of my exercises yesterday...0 -
THIS!!I never submit my diary anymore.. I know what I eat and I don't need people to tell me good job. It's unlocked too so anyone can see it. I also never comment on diaries.. only exercise and statuses.
Me too. I don't have "has completed her diary" post to my wall. I know what I ate. I know a day like today isn't nutritionally great, and I don't need kudos or condemnation on it.
Also, I never comment on others' food logs.0 -
I do not do this, but I do congratulate my friends for like losing .8 pounds or for losing 5 pounds since last weigh in. Both are accomplishments. Support is the good thing about this website.
I do not veiw anyones diary (friend or not) unless asked to for feedback. Its truly not my business.0 -
I've planned to eat ice cream today. Everything else in my diary is homemade and pretty darn healthy (except for a mini whole-wheat bread roll). Does this make me a bad person? I have to say, though, if nachos and cookies offend you, please never, NEVER look at my diary. I ate two whole cookies after dinner the other night. I know, I know, the horror.0
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I always look at the diary of my friends. I look at it as inspiration and it often makes me think twice about the Double Double I had for lunch from In N' Out. :laugh: With that said, I give true criticism and if it really does look like a great effort, awesome! If not, I'm like you, OP. Better luck tomorrow! :flowerforyou:
With that said, I keep my diary open and I notice my "bad days" never receive comment but my good days most certainly do! It can be inspiring. :bigsmile:
Ohhhh In N Out - How I miss them!!
I grew up in So Cal but live in GA now. Maybe it's for the better I don't have them around. :happy:
But yeah, I don't read others' diaries although it may help for ideas. For the most part I try to stay within my goal and eat as much protein as possible and keep my carbs lower. I do encourage people when they exercise.0 -
I agree with you about the first part, I don't think it helps anyone to encourage them when they're not exactly doing well. But constructive criticism is always a plus. As far as the photo thing goes, I don't agree. Sometimes when people lose weight they gain a lot of confidence, and want to share it. It doesn't always show right off though. Take myself for example, I have lost 18 pounds, and can't see a difference anywhere. Even in the way my clothes fit. I dunno whats up, but I have still lost the weight. People get excited that they lose 20 pounds, maybe in their mind they can see a difference. Who are we to bring them down by saying "I don't see a difference".
I hadn't thought about the photos this way, but now that you say this, I totally agree. Also, when people are asking if you can see a difference they may be needing the motivation to keep going because they themselves aren't seeing it.
Congrats! Hubby & I also celebrated our anniversary this past Sun. And yeah, I pigged out at dinner
Also, in regard to the food- people do blindly comment, but I do have to say that there are days when I plan to splurge (example: my parent's took the hubs and I out for anniversary dinner this week) and I do feel proud if I was able to control the rest of my day well enough that I can fit in the special dinner without killing my calorie count even though the macros will still be way off for that particular day.0 -
speaking of bs. I have actually wondered about the "rate the person above you" thread.... that's gotta be all about motivation. seriously, i have never actually met a person that I considered an 8.5+ yeah... that's what keeps me up at night.0
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I don't care what your diary says, personally I think it's rude to look at someone's diary so that you can comment on it. If they are losing weight and they are happy about it, who cares. Sure it may be an unhealthy diary and it may not last but at some point they will have to learn it on their own. Now if your eating that stuff and whinning that you can't lose anything then they deserve to be blasted for it. You never know that they ate one plate of nachos, but the old them would have eaten 3 times that much,so for them this is good, this is them cutting down and learning. Don't be quick to judge what people do, you don't know their story or their reasons.0
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People lie to make others feel better about themselves. It's BS. BE HONEST!
Also, a lot of people don't view food diaries so they don't actually know what they're saying 'WTG' or 'Great job!' to. I remember reading somewhere on here, someone hadn't actually filled in their log and submitted it anyway and still got comments, lol.
I think this is a winning answer. I read all of my friend's diaries that post them. However, I have kept my friend list to about 35. When you have 100s of friends, how can you possibly have the time to read all of their diaries? I think people just see the "under calorie goal for the day" and then add a quick, meaningless comment. Of course, this is just my opinoin.
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I find it irritating that people who meets a milestone or goal that they reward theirself with food. Really? that's what got you fat to begin with. Reward yourself with something else, anything but food. Food should not be a reward for losing lbs. But this is my opinion and I don't expect others to feel the way I do.
I bought some new clothes with my 100 lb loss. I don't want to pig out and have to lose those lbs over again. Makes no sense to me.0 -
Didn't read all the pages but I agree with dad106, and only comment/praise the exercise people do. I figure we all eat but exercise is the work.0
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When people say that, I'm assuming that they're not actually VIEWING the diary. They're just looking at the newsfeed post and not clicking. ???
I personally don't make comments on peoples diaries unless I actually take the time to go in there and check it out (which I rarely do).
But I can tell ya, my friends have definitely looked at my diary.. as they've commented on my 1/2 serving of Haagen Dazs for dessert...:blushing:
Yeah. .I once posted Lion Steak, Hyena hearts, and Rattlesnake (with a side of rice pilaf). . I got all the usual "WTG", "gread day", "nicely done". etc. . . lol! Nobody reads the food!0 -
:yawn:0
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The best thing about this whole thread is how offended everyone got about the whole Nachos thing lol It was just the first thing that popped into my head! I'm SORRY!!! lol I didn't realize how much everyone loved nachos!!!
Look, its nachos. Everyone be happy now.
Oh, that is so unfair.. I am SO craving nachos now!! With extra jalapanos.. mmmm..0 -
I never comment on anyones diary. Food choices are personal and can be driven by medical reasons or perhaps someone is recovering from an ED.
Lol...yea I've noticed some not so much progress..progress pics. I just don't comment on them. If the person feels good about themselves who am I to come along and ruin their day. The world needs more positive attitudes!!0 -
The best thing about this whole thread is how offended everyone got about the whole Nachos thing lol It was just the first thing that popped into my head! I'm SORRY!!! lol I didn't realize how much everyone loved nachos!!!
Look, its nachos. Everyone be happy now.
Oh, that is so unfair.. I am SO craving nachos now!! With extra jalapanos.. mmmm..
You could have posted any food. Big Mac's lets say...that person ate two that day, but the old them would have had 3 or 4 with a couple sides of fries and several refills of pop. This is them backing off. To you it looks horrible but to them it's progress. Why discourage them so that they quit all together? Maybe if they are here long enough they will see what others are doing and follow them. You've just got to keep in mind that you don't know their story so don't be so quick to judge them.0 -
Do you ever mistake excellent burn for excellent bum?? I do it all the time!0
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The best thing about this whole thread is how offended everyone got about the whole Nachos thing lol It was just the first thing that popped into my head! I'm SORRY!!! lol I didn't realize how much everyone loved nachos!!!
Look, its nachos. Everyone be happy now.
Oh, that is so unfair.. I am SO craving nachos now!! With extra jalapanos.. mmmm..
You could have posted any food. Big Mac's lets say...that person ate two that day, but the old them would have had 3 or 4 with a couple sides of fries and several refills of pop. This is them backing off. To you it looks horrible but to them it's progress. Why discourage them so that they quit all together? Maybe if they are here long enough they will see what others are doing and follow them. You've just got to keep in mind that you don't know their story so don't be so quick to judge them.
You are so awesome... for some people bantered is what it takes to get started... I still eat crap food...but I am loosing...sometimes I am way under on my calories and sometimes I eat my exercise calories back to the point that I almost go over...but this is my journey and the support I receive on this site keeps me going more than hearing everyday how bad I'm doing...I get to hear that at home...so for all of you that think. Saying great job or WTG without looking is a bad thing don't for it but for me I'm glad to have friends that are supporting me on this journey of mine...you make my day0 -
I agree with the first part of your rant, the second part.. not so much.
Just because you don't see a difference doesn't mean others don't.0 -
Here's a thought...put this on your page and not in the forums. Reaching out the the thousands that are not on FL will achieve nothing.
As for your rant...take it with salt. You know the effort you put forth. And you either want it or you dont. Chastising those for trying to give you support based on what they can read shows you have a lot of negativity. Be grateful you have them,0 -
Why bother having friends on here then. My diary is private for a reason. I don't want people judging me if I decide to have a cookie or two. We are on here to motivate each other, not to judge or condemn. To be honest, I never look at anyones food diary. I've had a few friends dump me because my diary is not public. I figure if thats the only thing you are interested in...take a hike.0
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The reason my diary is public is because people keep asking me what I'm eating to lose weight. Some of them might be shocked by some of the crap in there. But it is the most honest way I can answer it. Do I eat clean? Nope. Do I eat a lot better then I used to? Yup! Is it working for me? So freaking far.
Also, seriously. I was promised nachos. WTF0 -
Just showing up is a success0
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Me Too! all the time~Do you ever mistake excellent burn for excellent bum?? I do it all the time!0 -
GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!0
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It makes me laugh that SO MANY people missed the point of what I was trying to say. LOL some of you seriously don't know how to read!!! It had nothing to do with caring what the people on my friend's list eat. I don't have the perfect diary. Sometimes I eat things that are unhealthy too. I don't care about that. My point was just that people say Good Job regardless of what the person has done and I think that's silly. That's IT. Damn, you guys are feisty!! hahahaha.0
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