Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

CristinaL1983

Never. But that's just my opinion.

This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.

I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!

I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.

but isn't, like some have said on this thread "if they are likely to bolt, they should be in a stroller" just as lazy?

What are you suggesting? When your 1-2 year old child is too young to understand the dangers of traffic, that you'd have no safeguard at all? just your own interaction with them, like warning a child that young not to run in the road and expecting them to listen? Or would you have them in a stroller (that would be just as lazy as reins, if not more so because you just have to push them...... you can't actually get anywhere if your child is going crazy on the end of reins, you actually do have to teach them to walk next to you unless you just want to stand around while they run circles around you)....?

IMO it's no easier to control a child when they're wearing reins than when they're not. The only difference is if they're wearing them, they can't get as far as the wheels of a motor vehicle before you can stop them.

I'm suggesting that people hold hands like we always have. As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took . I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around, nor do I find strollers necessary. When they're old enough to walk, let them, but hold their hand.

Sure, when a kid is two it is a bit different than when they are walking and less than a year old or even less than two. When my daughter was walking and less than a year old, I couldn't even reach her hand. Plus kids that age have very limited verbal skills and part of my fear was that she would either get lost (and not be able to tell anyone who she belonged to) or be snatched and not be old enough to realize to scream etc... Most of the people here have said that the upper end they used them was about 3 years old. A lot of others have said that 2 is the highest. All due respect, your opinion isn't completely relevant or formed by experience as you don't have the experience with children in that age range.

adenium11

The only time we used them on our twins.. was when they were runners at a zoo... It I believe was the only time. But saved all our *kitten* in big crowds that day for kids who refused to stay in strollers!

cwaters120

I grew up in one and it did no harm. My mother used one on all four of us and we didn't care nor have we ever held anything against her for doing it. It meant she knew we were safe, we knew we were loved because she cared about our safety. I never used one for mine ONLY because I had twins and it was hard enough going places with two of everything WITHOUT the added tangles, being pulled in two different directions, etc.

I would think as soon as the child is old enough to observe their surroundings and know what is dangerous, what to avoid, and listens well to parents, it would be time to remove the harness. Maybe 4 or 5? Certainly by kindergarten.

DavPul

No, problem with it. If your kid likes to take off and run. Times are different now, kids getting snatched up more these days.

.
This is the opposite of true. Every measurable crime stat is down. And kidnappings by non-family members are incredibly low. Everyone has these imaginary crime stats in their head where things are soooo much worse these days. Things are better in pretty much every way imaginable.

CaffeinatedGlitter

It depends, most of my siblings (I'm the oldest of twelve) never wandered nor were they slow walkers... HOWEVER there was ONE haha He was once so persistent on running from me in the mall I chained him to my Tripp pants(Don't judge me, I deserved those rebel days haha) At that time I think he was about five... I now have one of my own who has just learned to walk, I doubt I will need a harness for her though since she doesn't like to leave my side.. ever.....Needless to say though I did get a lot of looks of worry from parents of other children who passed me in the mall.. Do what ya gotta do to protect your young, if that means a harness (or chaining them to you Tripps) then do it and don't worry about how it looks.. Just don't gag and blindfold them too.... lol

geebusuk

I don't have kids, but I do have a dog.

The dog doesn't walk with a leash.

He did until I taught him to walk by my side.

(The previous owner had to use a halti and leash because he couldn't handle how much he pulled.)

Would I have considered always holding on to him myself, or putting him in some kind of kart where he's restrained?
No!... pretty 'dehumanising', I'd say .

Symphony6

I didn't have them with either of my daughters who are now teenagers. We didn't have that stuff. We taught our kids to hold a parent's hand when crossing the street or walking in a parking lot, and I never had a problem with them bolting on me.

That being said, I know some children don't really listen. SOME children may need things like this. I prefer to teach, as a leash teaches them nothing.

NOW, that being said..lol..I used one for my 2 year old son when we were at an outdoor concert. We knew we were going to be there all day and didn't want to just leave him in the stroller. It was quite full of people and, eventually, it got dark. So, special events and busy places, I can understand.

DebbieLyn63

They weren't out when I had my first 2, but my 3rd, 10 yrs later, was a bolter. And I was disabled and couldn't run after him. I gladly put a harness on him. They actually give a child much more freedom than being strapped into a stroller all the time- starting a sedentary life early, and it also leaves the child's hands free and he isn't being held up by his arm constantly. Hours of a child hanging on to a parent's tall hand will result in a sore shoulder, arm and hand on a young child.
Also, kids elbows and shoulders do not have the end bone joints fully developed yet, and you can easily pull them out of socket when you pull on a child's hand/arm, or when they pull hard against your hand, trying to get away.

And lets face it, it is impossible to keep a firm grip on your child's hand at all times. The minute you let go, just for a second, to get out your wallet, open a door, etc, the child can bolt.

The old argument that your child is not a dog and shouldn't be on a leash is ridiculous. You leash your dog because you care about its safety. You should care even more about your child's safety. This is like saying you shouldn't put a baby in a baby bed because it is a 'cage' for animals.

Hexahedra

I resent the insinuation that having my daughter in a harness means I didn't care to teach her the right manner and precautions. We taught her from very early on the importance of staying close to us, and we are not the kind that "spare the rod" either. I always held her hand, but I had the harness as a second line of defense. My daughter is very intelligent, physically strong, and rather rebellious by nature, so I take offense at the idea that only children with "special needs" wear harness.

TheApocalypse

..... Seriously.... What kinda back assward world do we live in...?

Otterluv

No, problem with it. If your kid likes to take off and run. Times are different now, kids getting snatched up more these days.

.
This is the opposite of true. Every measurable crime stat is down. And kidnappings by non-family members are incredibly low. Everyone has these imaginary crime stats in their head where things are soooo much worse these days. Things are better in pretty much every way imaginable.

This ^^^^ is true.

I support the use of tethers if a parent feels it's necessary. But, increased crime isn't the reason.

amandapye78

Just a scenario for you, yesterday while at the ER with my youngest child ( she dislocated her elbow) a woman was there with twin 2 yr old boys. One of the boys had a bee sting that caused his eye to swell. One of the children ran ( like super human fast) to the sliding doors causing them to open while poor mom was running after him, the other child boarded the elevator ( I was holding a crying child myself so couldn't help) but a nice stranger grabbed the one on the elevator. I bet that poor woman would have given anything for a harness. I have raised 3 kids and did harness my oldest when she was little because if anything took my attention from her for half a second she would run away. My other two didn't need one. I am all for them if needed, it doesn't hurt and it can be very beneficial.

AggieLu

NEVER!!!!

candacefausset

The old argument that your child is not a dog and shouldn't be on a leash is ridiculous. You leash your dog because you care about its safety. You should care even more about your child's safety. This is like saying you shouldn't put a baby in a baby bed because it is a 'cage' for animals.

^^^THIS^^^

jolene_ca

I have never and will never use one. I had 5 kids in 5 years and never used one. Heck I did disneyland on my own last Sept with all 5 of them (6, 5, 4, 2 and 11 months at the time) and I've never had any problems.

I DO remember I was 4 years old and my mom tries to put one on me after my younger brother was born. She was paranoid, I was humiliated. I still give her crap about it lol.

nainai0585

The old argument that your child is not a dog and shouldn't be on a leash is ridiculous. You leash your dog because you care about its safety. You should care even more about your child's safety. This is like saying you shouldn't put a baby in a baby bed because it is a 'cage' for animals.

^^^THIS^^^

I leash my dog b/c its the LAW! I've trained her properly where she can be off leash and I have total voice control over her. Just as I am currently TEACHING my son that he must walk nicely with me or looses all privilages of walking. Its one or the other, there is no in between. You care about your child's safety, then teach them properly, there is no need to 'halter/leash/rein' them.

bmiller211

..... Seriously.... What kinda back assward world do we live in...?

hey? Does it not look as if the kid is leading the mother around...shouldn't it be the other way around? Aren't the parents the ones who should make the rules??:grumble: :explode: :mad:

nainai0585

..... Seriously.... What kinda back assward world do we live in...?

hey? Does it not look as if the kid is leading the mother around...shouldn't it be the other way around? Aren't the parents the ones who should make the rules??:grumble: :explode: :mad:

Hey, why parent when you can just leash your child.

bmiller211

..... Seriously.... What kinda back assward world do we live in...?

hey? Does it not look as if the kid is leading the mother around...shouldn't it be the other way around? Aren't the parents the ones who should make the rules??:grumble: :explode: :mad:

By the way she is your MILF!!

Jesea

My two cents...my younger son is a runner. We flew for vacation when he was two, and had a backpack for him to carry with his toys, etc. and it had a tether strap I could attach. We had no problems at all with the trip, including going through security. We flew with the boys again this year, our youngest is now almost four, and I didn't use the back pack. Coming out of the security area on the way home, my husband and 8 year old son were ahead of us, and my bag must have slipped because I paused for just a second. My younger son continued to walk, and seemed to get caught in a crowd of people going the opposite direction. He couldn't hear me call him, my husband didn't see him get separated from me. I was terrified. Bolted through the crowd, bumping people, almost frantic. Did I regret not using the backpack? You bet.

MizVandyk

Lol I've never used one on either one of my kids. But each parent is different...I don't disagree with them I have just never had the need for one "hold my hand" seems to work just fine

mjl54

not every baby turtle makes it back to the ocean.

btw what does this topic have to do with MILFS nor do i see any pics of MILFS

neandermagnon

Never. But that's just my opinion.

This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.

I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!

I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.

but isn't, like some have said on this thread "if they are likely to bolt, they should be in a stroller" just as lazy?

What are you suggesting? When your 1-2 year old child is too young to understand the dangers of traffic, that you'd have no safeguard at all? just your own interaction with them, like warning a child that young not to run in the road and expecting them to listen? Or would you have them in a stroller (that would be just as lazy as reins, if not more so because you just have to push them...... you can't actually get anywhere if your child is going crazy on the end of reins, you actually do have to teach them to walk next to you unless you just want to stand around while they run circles around you)....?

IMO it's no easier to control a child when they're wearing reins than when they're not. The only difference is if they're wearing them, they can't get as far as the wheels of a motor vehicle before you can stop them.

I'm suggesting that people hold hands like we always have. As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took. I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around, nor do I find strollers necessary. When they're old enough to walk, let them, but hold their hand.

My kids were walking by my side when they were just one year old, from around 14 and 15 months, which is when they learned to walk. If they were able to walk at a younger age, I would have taken them out for walks at a younger age. Of course in reins.

I didn't pull them around in a harness either, they walked by my side, while I held the strap and they walked ahead of me, or I had the strap around my wrist and held their hand. You actually physically cannot pull a very small child around with a harness. They would fall over and be dragged along on their stomach, side or back if you tried. They don't have enough motor control in their legs or ability to balance to cope with being pulled in any direction. It's not for controlling them at all, and it doesn't do anything to help you control them. If you have an out of control toddler in reins they will run rings around you while you go nowhere and get your arms all tangled up in the strap. It's a safety precaution, so if you're walking by a busy road, it's impossible for them to run in front of a car. They walk next to you or in front of you, and if they try to dash away, the reins stop them getting far enough to get in harm's way. Taking a one year old for a walk down a busy street without some way of preventing them from running into traffic is playing Russian roulette with their life. So either you use the reins, or put them in a stroller, or you don't take them out for walks.

It's naive to think that you can restrain a 1-2 year old child every single time with just hand holding and running to catch them. Sorry but you're talking about the possibility of a child losing their life from just one instance of them running from you into traffic. Not worth the risk IMO.

mama_rtw6510

I use my son's little "backpack" (according to him) in very public places like the airport, fairgrounds, parades, etc. My son IS NOT a runner and he stays with me most of the time but it is other people I'm worried. It only takes one second for your child to be snatched up as your head is turned away for two seconds. I'm not worried about running, it's the public i don't trust. My son is almost two. I train him to stay by my side as we walk at home and to not run in the street, this boy listens haha

cwmp

I have kids 14 months apart ( 3 and 2 years old) I have to use what we call the monkey leash on them when we are walking around cuz they will take off in different directions. No Shame!
don't worry what other people think my first boy started walking at 8 months and my second at 10 months. do what you think is right for you and your kids cuz what it comes down to is that its no ones business how you raise your kids, if you want to leash them for their own safety... go for it. just MO

candacefausset

The old argument that your child is not a dog and shouldn't be on a leash is ridiculous. You leash your dog because you care about its safety. You should care even more about your child's safety. This is like saying you shouldn't put a baby in a baby bed because it is a 'cage' for animals.

^^^THIS^^^

I leash my dog b/c its the LAW! I've trained her properly where she can be off leash and I have total voice control over her. Just as I am currently TEACHING my son that he must walk nicely with me or looses all privilages of walking. Its one or the other, there is no in between. You care about your child's safety, then teach them properly, there is no need to 'halter/leash/rein' them.

And how old was your dog when you were able to unleash them fully and them not run away, even if a squirrel or something exciting caught it's attention? Think for a moment about all the "puppy" energy dogs have, how unpredictable they are. Toddlers can be the same. Didn't you teach your dog while it was on a leash? We trained our dogs too. They are very obedient. But while being trained, we leashed them... just in case something else a bit more exciting caught their attention and they decided to dart after it with no warning. Again, I'm not saying I've used one but I understand using them in some cases. That doesn't mean you use it in place of teaching or use it as a lazy alternative. What it means is that it helps in the transitioning stage of a toddler learning to walk and run and learning to be obedient and well behaved. That doesn't happen overnight. Period.

weese17

I had one for my daughter (because she is a bolter, and was nearly hit by a car one day as a result). I always thought I would use it, and never did. My son is still young enough that I carry him most everywhere. I was anti-leash until I realized just how easy it is for a kid to dart into traffic - especially for someone trying to handle more than one child.

nainai0585

The old argument that your child is not a dog and shouldn't be on a leash is ridiculous. You leash your dog because you care about its safety. You should care even more about your child's safety. This is like saying you shouldn't put a baby in a baby bed because it is a 'cage' for animals.

^^^THIS^^^

I leash my dog b/c its the LAW! I've trained her properly where she can be off leash and I have total voice control over her. Just as I am currently TEACHING my son that he must walk nicely with me or looses all privilages of walking. Its one or the other, there is no in between. You care about your child's safety, then teach them properly, there is no need to 'halter/leash/rein' them.

And how old was your dog when you were able to unleash them fully and them not run away, even if a squirrel or something exciting caught it's attention? Think for a moment about all the "puppy" energy dogs have, how unpredictable they are. Toddlers can be the same. Didn't you teach your dog while it was on a leash? We trained our dogs too. They are very obedient. But while being trained, we leashed them... just in case something else a bit more exciting caught their attention and they decided to dart after it with no warning. Again, I'm not saying I've used one but I understand using them in some cases. That doesn't mean you use it in place of teaching or use it as a lazy alternative. What it means is that it helps in the transitioning stage of a toddler learning to walk and run and learning to be obedient and well behaved. That doesn't happen overnight. Period.

At a year old she was at the barn with me going on all the trail rides, including riding on the street. And she is a pure bred Jack Russell Terrier. I do not agree with leashing a child. Either teach them to walk nicely with you, or they don't walk at all until they learn how to walk nicely.

dmpizza

Only appropriate if your child has special needs.
End of dscussion.

Ridiculous.

People have got themselves all worked up because of a tenuous association between leads/ leashes and dogs, and are prepared to put their kids at risk rather than look different.

Are you going to take your kid's car seat away now? Is that dehumanising too?

What about safety gates on stairs? That makes your kid look like a little animal in a zoo. Dehumanising! Take them away. The kid will learn not to fall down the stairs!

Children need to learn to navigate our world themselves, unless they have special needs, LIKE MY CHILD, although we don't leash him.
If ypu can't pay enough attention to them, then don't take them with you.

MireyGal76

I have two girls, 2 years and two weeks apart. BOTH of them are bolters. I was not a single mom, but I did do a lot of activities where it was just me and them.

They are a handful, and yes, I used the harness a few times... particularly when I had my crying 6 month old in a stroller and the 2 1/2 year old thinking it was a fun game to break away and hide at walmart.

It doesn't matter how stern you are, or how well you train your kids... when it is you and two toddlers and a need for food in the house, you do what you have to do in order to be safe. If you haven't tried to manage a stroller, a screaming infant, a cart, and a toddler who bolts and hides, then please don't comment so vehemently about how nasty harnesses are.

They aren't choke chains... they're a cute backpack with a string.

And I'd rather have someone bish me out because I leashed my child, than be the mom standing at the front entrance of walmart crying because the code adam is for her kid... or the one on the side of the road trying to collect her kid's body parts.



As for the title... yeah... only MILFs need to reply because MIDWFs have no opinion worth considering... :laugh: right!