Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

MercenaryNoetic26

or leashes

LOL yeah! My mom would walk around the block yelling my name. When she'd find me, she'd whoop my *kitten* on the way home on the sidewalk for everyone to witness. No leashes needed. I learned my lesson!

eta: BTW, I have 2 children. I strive to be a MILF :bigsmile:

taunto

If I see my brothers or sister in law putting a leash on my nieces/nephews, I will take that leash off and start beating them with the same leash.

And yes, totally judging people who put their kids on a leash.

MsEmmy

Never. But that's just my opinion.

This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.

Seriously? It's 'dehumanizing'? See previous posts about putting safety first, and having disabled children.

shyroxxy82

I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...

A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.



AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!

hungryhobbit1

Kids don't actually get snatched up more these days, we just hear about it more. (In relative terms, the world is actually safer than it has ever been.)

HOWEVER, yeah I would have happily used one for my eldest when my youngest was a baby, but my husband was very vehemently opposed.

We lived in a city, on a busy, hilly street. I would walk to the park with the kids every day. One day I had my youngest in a baby sling and was holding my 2.5 year old's hand, when she just got it in her head to let go and run. I was pushing the (thankfully empty) stroller and had to make the decision to let that go into the street so that I could go after her. I don't want to think about what I would have had to do if the baby had been in the stroller.

Since the eldest was a force of nature at that age and completely without a sense of danger, in the absence of a tether we had to have a rule that she sat in the stroller until we got where we were going, period. That kind of sucked, she really benefited from those long walks.

If I had it to do over I'd buy one. If you've never had a child who would bolt, that's great. My youngest would never in a million years need one of these. But when you need one, you need one.

neandermagnon

I remember the last thread on this.

This is normal in the UK, kids are on reins (what they're called in the UK) generally because it's better for them to walk than be in a push chair (aka stroller) from a young age, and the reins stop the child from running into traffic. UK pavements (aka sidewalks) are usually quite narrow so your kid only has to dash about a metre and a half before they're in danger. UK kids often go walking rather than being in a stroller from age 1 or 2, which is too young for them to be trusted to be obedient versus ending up under the wheels of a lorry (aka truck)

Threads like this make me lol, due to the cultural differences between USA and America. It also disturbs me that someone would frown upon something that is basically for a child's safety. Like I said they've been around for decades in the UK and they have not caused any child to be emotionally damaged. I have not heard of one person ever who went to a counsellor (aka shrink) as an adult, complaining of psychological problems caused by being put on reins as a toddler. I have, however, heard of numerous fatal and crippling accidents involving small kids being hit by cars on busy streets.

ETA:in the UK they're generally used for kids aged 1-3, by which time they're old enough to be trusted not to dash out into the road. Though I wouldn't judge a parent who used them for a slightly older kid, I'd trust their judgement. But usually it's just toddlers.

MsEmmy

I'm stepping out of this, glad once again that I don't live in the United States.

MsEmmy

I remember the last thread on this.

This is normal in the UK, kids are on reins (what they're called in the UK) generally because it's better for them to walk than be in a push chair (aka stroller) from a young age, and the reins stop the child from running into traffic. UK pavements (aka sidewalks) are usually quite narrow so your kid only has to dash about a metre and a half before they're in danger. UK kids often go walking rather than being in a stroller from age 1 or 2, which is too young for them to be trusted to be obedient versus ending up under the wheels of a lorry (aka truck)

Threads like this make me lol, due to the cultural differences between USA and America. It also disturbs me that someone would frown upon something that is basically for a child's safety. Like I said they've been around for decades in the UK and they have not caused any child to be emotionally damaged. I have not heard of one person ever who went to a counsellor (aka shrink) as an adult, complaining of psychological problems caused by being put on reins as a child. I have, however, heard of numerous fatal and crippling accidents involving small kids being hit by cars on busy streets.

QFT! Thank-you, voice of reason!

ldrosophila

And also, did you ever figure that the parent you are judging might have a child with autism? Or have lost a child in tragic circumstances?

I don't understand why this has got me so riled, but it really has!

I wish I saw more kids leashed up. You see some dangerous things with kids all the time. We were camping the other day and the kids from the campground over were invited to eat. These two little boys maybe about 5 were standing on wobbly logs right next to the fire! I freaked! the parents were standing around like clueless idiots. You go into restaurants and see all these unleashed kids allowed to get under foot of waiters carrying hot food. Remember cars cant see kids all the time. My Mother who is almost 60 actually did have a leash, so yes they existed back in the days too.

3foldchord

I had 3 boys in 3 years. I never used one of those harness things. not even with the autistic runner. I held his hand, held him, strapped in the stroller whatever.
(the one with the autism issues is my middle. my oldest was always very easy and held the stroller edge or my hand, only tme my oldest ran off was to 'visit' old people. he thought they were ALL his gammy and pappy)


they are older now...16,18,19

EDIT TO AD- though I did not use leashes, reins, harness- I do not 'look down' or 'frown' on those that do/did. it was just not something I did.we lived in a quiet neighborhood at the end of a quieter cul-de-sac, I rarely went to busy places (like shopping malll)- most of our outing were to parks. Some parents use those harness devices properly. Some misuse them (IMO) and use the harnesses to REPLACE parenting.

just like every other parenting device/method. most are fine when used properly.

christina0089

I did not use one for either of my children because I did not need to BUT had my child been a runner or if we lived in a neighborhood that was constantly busy or even a city where crime is high I would have strapped it on without a second thought!!

People are quick to judge and say that kids are not animals and they are right they are humans and both their lives and our animals lives are sacred. We should always put their safety first.. And it's not just for their safety...

One day I was taking my kids to my parents and as I was coming down the street there was a child standing with his mother as she was talking to a friend. The child was short enough that you could not see him over the cars so it appeared that there was only the two women as I got closer the child ran right in front of me. Luckily I was not going fast and I was able to avoid him (barley) But had I been going faster he would have not been so fortunate. I would have tried to avoid it with everything in me but then swerving could have caused me to hit one of the women or another car and hurt or even kill someone myself and/or my children included.. I later learned that this child makes a habit of running into the street... A harness could save this kids life or the life of another...

Every situation is different just as every child and parent are different but I would like to think that we all really do have our kids best interest at heart.

ldrosophila

I'm stepping out of this, glad once again that I don't live in the United States.

I dont think it's a UK vs. US thing like I said my Grandma has to leash my Mom up in the good ol' US of A so she wouldn't bolt almost 60 years ago.

TorrizzleWillSizzle

I use to also think leashes are for dogs not people ... then I had a kid. She's not walking yet but I have nothing against harnesses or the parents that use them. I' rather use it than lose my child.

GetSoda

Children should be leashed from the moment they crawl up till about 23 or os.

neandermagnon

I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller.

Sorry but no. They should be walking for the good of their health. The USA has a childhood obesity crisis, yet you want to confine kids to strollers until they're old enough to learn to walk without reins? How ridiculous. How are they going to learn road safety if they're in a stroller? With reins, they can walk from as soon as they're able to walk, get strong legs, learn road sense, and it's a lot easier to teach your child to hold your hand, stop at the kerb, not run away, and all the rest, if they're on reins. Can you teach them that in a stroller? The answer is you can't. However you can teach them that if they're on reins. They learn that while they're a toddler and by the time they're 3-4, they'll not only be able to be trusted to walk next to you, hold your hand, stop at the kerb, understand road safety, they'll also have really strong legs.

I regularly went on long walks with my parents as a small child, at 5 I walked 8km one time. Do you really think I could have done that if my parents had had me in a stroller? No. I was on reins as soon as I could walk.

MercenaryNoetic26

Okay, okay... if you haven't seen Kat Williams poking fun at the kid's leash... here's a video. Rated mature for EXTREME language. If you already hate Kat Williams don't watch!

But if you know what I'm talking about... LMAO! This never gets old!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx3DORtqoe8

baileybiddles

I am completely and totally against them. That being said, I do NOT have children myself.

However, I did raise my niece, who was always a hyperactive child, and a good strong grip of her hand did the trick just fine. They don't have to be holding onto your hand for you to hold onto theirs. That's just my opinion though. Hopefully I don't offend anyone. I don't agree with the "leashes are for dogs" thing. You put your dog on a leash so they don't run into traffic and die, not BECAUSE they are an animal.

Well expressed and not offensive, but I still don't understand why people are 'totally against them'. What is there to be totally against? Some kids don't like holding hands or just can't (I have one with Asperger's who hates being touched.)

It's a very grey area sort of issue for me. I worked with autistic kids and kids with Asperger's when I was in high school and realize how difficult they can be to handle and/or discipline. As for normal kids who don't like holding hands, as I said before, they don't need to be holding on to you for you to hold on to them. For normal kids, or kids without any sort of mental disability (I shouldn't say normal, that's completely offensive), I think that some good old fashioned discipline will do the trick. My niece is slightly autistic and has a mess of other mental issues, but after one time of running off and losing her favorite toys, she never, ever did it again.

I just know I'd rather not put my child in one when that time comes. My future husband and I are both extremely neurotic and extremely attentive, so hopefully the need for one never arises. I think it's just an issue of being 100% attentive to the child, knowing what their next move will be before they make it, and planning for what to do if the child does run. I know, seems like a lot of work, but it worked for me raising my niece and I've seen it work for many others.

KellyKAG

I had one for my son who is a runner when he was little after he bolted and I had a moment of having to choose between dropping my daughters hand to chase my son or holding onto her and hoping he didnt turn out between the cars.

footiechick82

If my little cousin would have been on a harness, he would be 23 years old today. Instead, he was 3 years old and hit by a car by his grandmother and instantly killed.

I say, if it keps children safe, use them. I don't have kids myself but I do live in a busy city and see too many kids escaping especially in malls. It's not only so they don't get hit by cars, but what about people abducting children? I would rather be safe then sorry.

MsEmmy

I'm stepping out of this, glad once again that I don't live in the United States.

I dont think it's a UK vs. US thing like I said my Grandma has to leash my Mom up in the good ol' US of A so she wouldn't bolt almost 60 years ago.

Yes, I shouldn't judge a whole nation, you are right. :flowerforyou: But our perspective in the UK (and I've lived in the US for a while as well) is that Americans (in general) make issues out of things that aren't issues. Considering one of the arguments is that harnesses are 'dehumanizing' I I hear of far more US children needing therapists/ counsellors for a myriad of reasons than you ever hear of over here. I think there is a tendency to overthink, judge and create issues where there really are none instead of using common sense. I'm not saying British parents are perfect (far from it) but there is a more laid back and less judgemental approach.