Serious Question for MILFS (pics)
Replies
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As a mother of a 7 yr old and a 2.5 yr old, I find it quite sad to see a child leashed like a dog.
These are the choices I give my 2.5 yr old, he either a) walks nicely with me and holds my hand along busy roads or crossing the street or b) he looses ALL privilages of walking and must be put into the ring sling (I never bothered purchasing or using a stroller for him and chose to use carriers since he was an infant). That's it, only the 2 choices. If you use a stroller or a wagon, then use that.
I am a no nonsense type of parent though and expect my children to act appropriately. This is done by my example above. You either do as your told or you loose out, its that simple. You want to run into the street or away from me, your in the (insert whatever you use, such as the stroller or carrier). Its that simple with me.
But what if after all this, the kid still gets lose?
( I guess you have a point though. I guess for some people life really does need to be simplified, doesn't it?)0 -
I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...
A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.
AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!
I feel very very sad for you. Seriously.0 -
Honestly for us it was NEVER even an option to put our children on a 'leash'. Our dog yes, but not our kids
Our two girls learned quickly to hold our hands and stay with us, or there were sudden and quick consequences, like sitting down or missing out on something fun we were about to do until they were willing to stay with us. Once they realized we meant it, it wasn't an issue. We of course also took the time as they were sitting (and also later) to tell them why it was important to stay with us. 0 -
As a mother of a 7 yr old and a 2.5 yr old, I find it quite sad to see a child leashed like a dog.
These are the choices I give my 2.5 yr old, he either a) walks nicely with me and holds my hand along busy roads or crossing the street or b) he looses ALL privilages of walking and must be put into the ring sling (I never bothered purchasing or using a stroller for him and chose to use carriers since he was an infant). That's it, only the 2 choices. If you use a stroller or a wagon, then use that.
I am a no nonsense type of parent though and expect my children to act appropriately. This is done by my example above. You either do as your told or you loose out, its that simple. You want to run into the street or away from me, your in the (insert whatever you use, such as the stroller or carrier). Its that simple with me.
But what if after all this, the kid still gets lose?
( I guess you have a point though. I guess for some people life really does need to be simplified, doesn't it?)
Yep, quick black and white answers or they just get loost. Subtleties and grey areas are hard for some people.0 -
My son never needed it. He's not a runner and he doesn't have special needs. I do understand how it would be appropriate for different personalities.0
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i have a 2 year old boy, and i use ours at places like the zoo, mall. ect.. any busy place where if he took off i'd have a hard time finding him. I couldn't honestly care less who is against it, my son is my NUMBER ONE priority and i will do anything in my power to keep him safe. he can not get to far away from me with it, nor can someone snatch him up and run off before i knew it, which btw is one of any mothers biggest fears i would think! Ours buckles to his back, no more uncomfortable than a back pack, and he loves the thing, he actually wears it around the house sometimes because he thinks the monkey on his back is pretty cool
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I used to think those things were awful! I always said I would never put my child on a leash but after having my first child, I sometimes consider them and think I might go buy one. My 20 mo daughter is really good about holding hands with us whenever she is walking beside us. But sometimes she pulls if she sees something exciting. She has yet to let go and I normally hold firmly on my end but I would never shame a parent who uses one now as I can see the importance. Increases in traffic, urban and metro areas as well as general population over the last 50 years has really made it dangerous for children sometimes. I used to think it was just bad parenting or lazy parenting but now having my own 20 mo, I realize, they can get fast! And knowing that two seconds of her running fast before I realize she is headed in the direction of a busy street, was all it would take for me to lose her forever, I vote for doing what makes it easier for you to feel your child is safe. Especially if you have multiple young ones.
Parents who shame or look down on another parent for doing so need to get over themselves.0 -
hmmm.. i own one for my 2 year old boy, he LOVES it0
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I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...
A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.
AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!
Hmmm, I think our children are very different from each other :laugh:
Mine had more brains then sense. By the time they were 1 and could walk, they were working on figuring out how to get out of their car seats and stroller harnesses. And they could problem solve their way out. Of course, their mother (me) figured out how to unscrew the screen window in her bedroom and sneak out - at 2 years old. So, it shouldn't be too big of a shock.
One of my kids is on the autism spectrum, part of what that meant for him is that he didn't know the difference between what could just cause a little injury, and a "dead thing". That was my job as a parent, until he could work it out.
Yes, children can be taught. But, there is an in between time when they are learning, but yet are incredibly fast and lacking in any kind of sense of danger. They are children, not robots.
^^ all children are different. I agree with the above. You need to do what is right for you and your child. Just because we all don't agree doesn't mean you are doing the wrong thing when it comes to your kids
Every child is different and every mother will have her own way to mother thier children. You are absolutely ridiculous to think that every 2 year old will want to SIT in a stroller for hours while at the zoo, mall. ect... i think that THAT is way more miserable than being able to let them walk and play safely close to thier mothers/fathers. I'm usually not an argumentative person but when it comes to children and raising them, i think your negative opinions should stay in your head!0 -
I remember the last thread on this.
This is normal in the UK, kids are on reins (what they're called in the UK) generally because it's better for them to walk than be in a push chair (aka stroller) from a young age, and the reins stop the child from running into traffic. UK pavements (aka sidewalks) are usually quite narrow so your kid only has to dash about a metre and a half before they're in danger. UK kids often go walking rather than being in a stroller from age 1 or 2, which is too young for them to be trusted to be obedient versus ending up under the wheels of a lorry (aka truck)
Threads like this make me lol, due to the cultural differences between USA and America. It also disturbs me that someone would frown upon something that is basically for a child's safety. Like I said they've been around for decades in the UK and they have not caused any child to be emotionally damaged. I have not heard of one person ever who went to a counsellor (aka shrink) as an adult, complaining of psychological problems caused by being put on reins as a toddler. I have, however, heard of numerous fatal and crippling accidents involving small kids being hit by cars on busy streets.
ETA:in the UK they're generally used for kids aged 1-3, by which time they're old enough to be trusted not to dash out into the road. Though I wouldn't judge a parent who used them for a slightly older kid, I'd trust their judgement. But usually it's just toddlers.
This is pretty much the reason I got one. And as someone else mentioned, my daughter was 9 months when she was walking. I couldn't reach her hand so I would watch her like a hawk or carry her. When we went somewhere that was crowded with lots of things to see, I would put the backpack on her, see how I felt and then if I thought there was a risk that she could be snatched and I might not see or that if she ran, I wouldn't find her, I would put the "leash" part on the backpack. Maybe a couple of the times that we were in the zoo, conditions were right for it probably before she hit two years old. Other than that, I didn't use it (only because I didn't see a risky situation). She loved the backpack. I didn't want to keep her confined to a stroller as there have been health and brain development benefits shown in toddlers walking or being carried vs. stroller and I didn't want to risk her safety either.
I don't really concern myself with what other people think about what I do. We all have our opinions. I have opinions about strollers and other people have opinions about the "leashes" we each make the best choice we know how and then deal with the fact that other people are judging our decisions. NBD.0 -
Do what is right for you and your family. Discuss it with your wife and take into consideration your childs behaviour.
I think that whether you use it or not is your decision and we should not judge others.
I personally think that even if you teach your kid that either you listen or you get put in a stroller, it only takes them running off once for something to happen. Do you really want to take that risk?
I've never used one with my second child because most of the time, he's busy pushing his stroller. I don't believe in holding my childs hand for the whole length of a walk. A child needs the freedom to explore his/her surroundings.
However, my first was a bolter, very active, very curious and very strong headed. I prefered him being restrained and able to walk and explore than stuck in a stroller where he couldn't develop because he couldn't exercise or discover his surroundings. I was also able to teach him to not wander and to hold hands at critical moments (crossing the street, in a busy market) while he was restrained.
Yes some parents use the restraint as a way to be inattentive, but not all. I think that having a child in a restraint doesn't rule out the capability to teach them proper behaviour. These things are not mutually exclusive.
That being said. Being a parent is difficult enough as it is. Why not use the tools that are available to make teaching and keeping our children safe more efficient?
Food for thought...
If you don't believe in restraining your child because it is dehumanising, too much like how you treat a dog, does that also mean that you have never used a crib to stop a toddler from wandering during the night, or a baby gate to stop your child from going to dangerous places, or bribed them with a treat (food or something else) to either teach or get them to do what you wanted?0 -
I never used one and I had 5 children and a set of twins. I just don't like the way it looks, I guess that is what seems offensive or like walking your pet. however, I have learned to have an open mind and if this is being used to keep a child safe, then by all means it is important to that parent and child. Someone on this thread said we all parent different, and that is true. I am happy that the difference in this case is to keep the child safe and for their best interest. Hopefully, the restraint is just short term and the parent continues to work on the rules when on an outing. Maybe use short trips to practice rules of safety so that eventually they can do away with the restraint. just my two cents worth.0
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Thread title disappoints.
Leashes and MILFS should be about something else.
I know. Maybe OP has a different definition of MILF0 -
LOL it's totally personal. I was a wanderer as a child and was therefore tethered a lot of the time.
I bought one of the ones with the little animal backpack thingy when my daughter was around 1.5 - 2. It was a normal thing growing up so it never really seemed like an issue.
I'm not sure she ever actually used it though. Maybe once or twice. I've used it with my little guy, he was walking before the age of 1 and really wasn't old enough to "just learn" about safety or hand holding or whatever. He's 2 now and holds hands and listens just fine. We haven't used it in ages and probably won't ever use it again. Who knows though.0 -
My daughter loved her reins/harness because it left her free to explore and use both her hands to pick daisies or buttercups. It also meant that I could 'save' her if she tripped.
Lots of people don't like them but I think the body reins/harness are great, and if your child is happy then I wouldn't worry0 -
Thread title disappoints.
Leashes and MILFS should be about something else.
I know. Maybe OP has a different definition of MILF
Maybe OP will only listen to MILFs and doesn't think other people give valid opinions. But, yeah, I was expecting something different when I got here.0 -
I have two nieces and one nephew. by the time they were old enough to walk, they were smart enough to know if they jetted away from us in public I would leave them,(not serious, but they didn't know that part) lol. needless to say they would try to be sneaky and run off, but when i paid them no attention they ran back to me0
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is your son wearing a hair bow and a skirt?0
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I wondered that too but didn't want to mention it. :laugh:is your son wearing a hair bow and a skirt?0 -
I think he probably just google imaged harnesses and didn't actually take a picture of his son.is your son wearing a hair bow and a skirt?0 -
Sometimes use them on my 2yr old as he will run off as fast as he can and Il be pushing the baby and cant just let go and run after him. I have the reins on him but have a lose grip so he doesnt feel like his tied up and he doesnt mind them at all. I prefer him to wear them as then I know he cant run away in the blink of an eye!0
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I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!Never. But that's just my opinion.
This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.
but isn't, like some have said on this thread "if they are likely to bolt, they should be in a stroller" just as lazy?
What are you suggesting? When your 1-2 year old child is too young to understand the dangers of traffic, that you'd have no safeguard at all? just your own interaction with them, like warning a child that young not to run in the road and expecting them to listen? Or would you have them in a stroller (that would be just as lazy as reins, if not more so because you just have to push them...... you can't actually get anywhere if your child is going crazy on the end of reins, you actually do have to teach them to walk next to you unless you just want to stand around while they run circles around you)....?
IMO it's no easier to control a child when they're wearing reins than when they're not. The only difference is if they're wearing them, they can't get as far as the wheels of a motor vehicle before you can stop them.
I'm suggesting that people hold hands like we always have. As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took. I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around, nor do I find strollers necessary. When they're old enough to walk, let them, but hold their hand.0 -
That's a rough question... I'm not going to lie, I have tried using one ...it didn't work well for me.. But I think since each child is different , it's going to be different choice for each parent... Wish you the best of luck...0
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I live in a small town in the uk, and I have honestly never heard of this being an issue at all. I view reins in the same way I do any other safety restraint. Seat belts, pushchair straps, highchair straps, safety gates etc. Every parent I know has reins, and most use them until the child is about 3 years old.
I'm a pretty protective parent, but I want my children to learn how to behave around town, along a river, so I think reins allow the child to learn this. Keeping them in a stroller until they are 4 years old doesn't. Just my 2p worth 0 -
Quote:
'As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took. I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around,....'
When I held my son by the hand, he would try to throw himself on the ground and then I would have to pick him up or put him in a stroller. When he was restrained, I didn't 'pull him around'. He walk by me, or wandered off or tried running away and I would follow him then take his hand like I would have if he wasn't restrained. If he was examining something, when the time was right, I would take his hand and bring him back to the sidewalk to continue on. I never 'pulled' him around, nor dragged him. The restraint was there in case I wasn't fast enough to catch him when he would bolt.
Why do most people that are against these assume that because the child is restrained we treat him like an animal. I would not tug on my child harness like you would do like a dog to keep him in line. It was a precautionary tool, to stop him IF I was not fast enough to catch him. I am sure some parents use it in a way that even I don't find acceptable, but I also don't think it's ok to generalise that everyone would use them this way.0 -
Depends on the child. My granddaughter is ok in a confined setting, but in a busy area with cars, I harness her. I always harnessed my kids when flying, especially internationally. They like it, it's NOT abuse...lol - if I could I would put a GPS on the harness...0
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I had 2 small kids that were 17 months apart and I never put one on them. Even when we went to Disneyland I never did. I don't like them.0
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milfs? really.0
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I'm suggesting that people hold hands like we always have. As I've stated many times and will continue to state, just because the child doesn't want to hold your hand doesn't mean that YOU can't get a good grip on their hand. I raised my niece from 2 years old and onward and that was all it took. I just don't think it's necessary to strap a kid into a harness and pull them around, nor do I find strollers necessary. When they're old enough to walk, let them, but hold their hand.
You can't judge all children by one.
You can't judge 9-24 month olds by a 2 year old.
I don't personally use a leash, but I also don't judge.0 -
or leashes
Amen, miss them good ol days with scars all over your knees and elbows. Thx for keeping it vintage.0
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