Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

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Replies

  • DMSailer39
    DMSailer39 Posts: 2 Member
    I don't care what people say - I have a 4 year old "bolter" and for her safety, I have one. She picked it out (a little cow) and I explained to her what it was for. She loves it - I also have 3 other children, one a 2 month old and I need to know that she is safe whenever we go out. She loves to run and obviously at her age, she has no concept of danger.
  • HBAppleton
    HBAppleton Posts: 1
    You should not even be having to ask this opinion of others IF you know your child. That is what is pivotal. Consider all the circumstances and the child's temperament. Asking if others used them or not may not be what is right for your child.
  • cupcakes_and_cardio
    cupcakes_and_cardio Posts: 369 Member
    Never. They're kids, not dogs.

    That is uncalled for. I used reins and it kept them safe.

    I was walking along the road the other day and to my utter horror a woman coming towards me suddenly shot towards the busy main road, it was then I realized that her little boy had darted away from her. When she grabbed hold of him, he was on the give-way lines and just about to cross into the traffic.

    This is exactly the point, they are kids and kids can run about and they may not be road traffic-wise.

    I agree, it is uncalled for. They make them for safety reasons and I hate when EVERYONE who hates them says "they're for dogs". They're really not, it's to keep your child safe, especially in crowds - there's crazy people out there who will just snatch your kid from you, even if you're holding their hand. If anyone wants to look at me crazy for keeping my child safe, keep looking because it doesn't phase me! :)
  • gel91
    gel91 Posts: 309
    I haven't ever used one. I do not agree with them. But we all parent different and it's up to you what you decide to do.
    It might be harder to control a toddler with a pushchair too in which case it may be needed. But if a parent is on there own with one kid I don't see why you would need them.
  • Frank_Just_Frank
    Frank_Just_Frank Posts: 454 Member
    Those things are gross. I'm on my 4th kid who never needed that; they aren't necessary.
  • divaindy
    divaindy Posts: 108 Member
    I am 60 and they did not have them when my son was little,BUT if I had a child in this day and age I would use on in a NEW YORK min. For their safety children are very fast and in a store or crowd can disappear in a second.
  • majope
    majope Posts: 1,325 Member
    My son got up and walked when he was 9 months old, and from then on refused to sit in a stroller or be picked up. I got a harness because he was simply too short for me to hold his hand. Worked for us.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    I believe that for most children they are unnecessary.

    They haven't been necessary for anyone in my family, including my 4 year old who thinks that going for a walk means we're running. I simply jog with her. However, she does listen very well when we're out and she knows better than to go near in the street without holding an adult hand.

    You know if your child is capable of conducting himself without one. At least you should. If he hasn't taken to heart that he shouldn't be near the street or running away from you, then get him one and don't worry about the judgement because you are doing what is right for your son.

    I also think it should be added that I know most people will say that they don't do this but I see it A LOT. Please don't buy this and let it lull you into a false sense of security. I see so many people not paying one iota of attention to their child because he or she is on a leash and "can't get into trouble."
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I leash my kids and let my dogs run loose.
  • m76b
    m76b Posts: 1,498 Member
    never did that before in my life
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
    Honestly in my opinion I would never 'harness' my child. That is like leading them on a leash and they most certainly are not a furry little pup.

    My daughter holds my hand and sometimes holds my pocket to stay close which has worked extremely well as she now prefers it and feels sad if I don't. It just doesn't feel right to me to leash a child.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    I never needed or wanted one for my son. He seemed to understand where it was appropriate to run around like a maniac and where it wasn't such a good idea to do so. My parents didn't use leashes or restraints, either.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    I can't even believe this is an issue. If you have a bolter, or are in a busy place/ near a road then it makes sense. What are the arguments against it? Do people think it's 'cheating' or somehow demeaning for the child? 'Um sorry you got run over, kid, people were too concerned about your rights to freedom or that the other parents might judge.'

    Do we not get enough judgement in the world without people judging each other over the use of a harness ffs? If you use a harness in the car or the stroller, why not on the street? Also, a minor point but they can save many a scraped knee if a newly walking toddler trips up.

    And we did have them in the 70s cos I have pics of me in one, and I used one with my oldest son when he was little (he's now 18) as he was rather clumsy. I don't think they are over protective at all, just another tool in the box.

    Edit : People who 'don't agree with them'....what is there, 'not to agree' with? Is this another American over-reaction as I've never heard of it even being an issue over here in the UK.
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    I am one of 4 kids, and the only one of us that required reins was my youngest sister. Any opportunity and she would make a run for it. I lost count of the amount of times we would have to scour the neighbourhood for her. She hated the contraption, but it was necessary.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    I put one on mine as soon as she could walk. I didn't stop until she was old enough to know not to bolt at the very first opportunity, which was about early 4 years old. We used to joke that my daughter couldn't walk, she could only run. My wife was born with the tendency to daydream and be easily distracted; her occasional absent mindedness was NOT a good combination with a bolting toddler, it takes only one mistake to lose my daughter forever. Harnesses are not illegal, so I would rather see the sneer of total strangers than the lifeless body of my daughter after a car ran over her.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    And also, did you ever figure that the parent you are judging might have a child with autism? Or have lost a child in tragic circumstances?

    I don't understand why this has got me so riled, but it really has!
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    I put one on mine as soon as she could walk. I didn't stop until she was old enough to know not to bolt at the very first opportunity, which was about early 4 years old. We used to joke that my daughter couldn't walk, she could only run. My wife was born with the tendency to daydream and be easily distracted; her occasional absent mindedness was NOT a good combination with a bolting toddler, it takes only one mistake to lose my daughter forever. Harnesses are not illegal, so I would rather see the sneer of total strangers than the lifeless body of my daughter after a car ran over her.

    Excellent post :flowerforyou:
  • spidey11186
    spidey11186 Posts: 141 Member
    Are hot moms the ONLY people who should be answering in this forum?!? So confused...
  • baileybiddles
    baileybiddles Posts: 457 Member
    I am completely and totally against them. That being said, I do NOT have children myself.

    However, I did raise my niece, who was always a hyperactive child, and a good strong grip of her hand did the trick just fine. They don't have to be holding onto your hand for you to hold onto theirs. :) That's just my opinion though. Hopefully I don't offend anyone. I don't agree with the "leashes are for dogs" thing. You put your dog on a leash so they don't run into traffic and die, not BECAUSE they are an animal.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    I never used one - but I didn;t really have runners for kids.

    I think they can be good for safety issues and in places like Disneyland or something.
  • ChangingAmanda
    ChangingAmanda Posts: 486 Member
    I was just telling my cousins a story about this yesterday. When I was a kid, my mother used them on my brothers (twins and bolters) and me (an independent wanderer). We were at the mall when my brothers were about 2-3 so I was 5-6. A lady came up to my mom and went off on her about how her kids weren't animals and shouldn't be leashed like dogs, etc.. We happened to be standing at in the center court where the 4 wings of the mall met. My mom said, "She goes that way, he goes this way, and he goes the other way, which one do I chase and whose two heads end up in the river?" Mom said the lady turned white, shut her mouth, and walked off. This was just a couple years after the Adam Walsh kidnapping.

    With most everything to do with child rearing, I firmly believe you have to do what's best for the child and your family. If a harness is what is needed to keep them safe, then so be it.
  • zinatara
    zinatara Posts: 76 Member
    When I just had my oldest daughter I always felt these were wrong to use. Then I got my son and I could understand why someone would use one. But we live in a rural place and I mostly used to babywear or bring a stroller. I remember when I was close to my due date with my youngest and he could out run me. Once he got to the pick and mix candy and had his mouth full before I could reach him.
  • strongmindstrongbody
    strongmindstrongbody Posts: 315 Member
    If you kid is a known bolter and is willing to wear a harness, go for it. Safety first, right? It's not about what other people will think of seeing your child in a harness; it's what's appropriate for your child's safety.

    I only wish I could've gotten my youngest to wear a harness when he was a toddler. But he'd have a total meltdown with it on. Screaming, punching, kicking, the whole nine yards. Couldn't even get him to hold my hand without him clawing and biting me. Ended up just having to stick by his side like glue when we were in a parking lot or sidewalk street. So glad he outgrew that stage.
  • jennylea16
    jennylea16 Posts: 97 Member
    I have two children, 4 and 7, and have never used one. I don't really like them and would not use one unless it was an extreme situation. We go out all the time, multiple trips to Disney and we've managed. If your child is a bolter, I can understand the impulse to use one. However, if you start using one as soon as they start walking, how are they going to learn to pay attention to whats around them and stay with you if you are always doing it for them with the harness? Just my opinion.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    2msrfF6.jpg

    or leashes

    I'm calling bull on this argument. Not everyone did make it. There were lots of deaths due to accidents. Just look up the statistics. It's one of the reasons we now have carseats, seatbelts, and helmets. My mom remembers them being told to put babies underneath the front dash, where the passengers feet would go. Can you imagine doing that now? And what would happen?

    I have a cousin still dealing with a traumatic brain injury that happened when he was 10, my father had a cousin accidentally shoot another cousin when they were 7, my father in law lost a sister when they were 7 to drowning. These things happen, just nobody ever talks about it. We were lucky, Dave.

    That's the key. Not everyone is going to make it no matter what we do. Take some precautions, take some risks. Everyone has to draw the line for themselves. The question was "would i" and then answer is "no, never". Everyone else is free to do as they see fit.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    I am completely and totally against them. That being said, I do NOT have children myself.

    However, I did raise my niece, who was always a hyperactive child, and a good strong grip of her hand did the trick just fine. They don't have to be holding onto your hand for you to hold onto theirs. :) That's just my opinion though. Hopefully I don't offend anyone. I don't agree with the "leashes are for dogs" thing. You put your dog on a leash so they don't run into traffic and die, not BECAUSE they are an animal.

    Well expressed and not offensive, but I still don't understand why people are 'totally against them'. What is there to be totally against? Some kids don't like holding hands or just can't (I have one with Asperger's who hates being touched.)
  • Power_Man77
    Power_Man77 Posts: 207
    If you kid is a known bolter and is willing to wear a harness, go for it. Safety first, right? It's not about what other people will think of seeing your child in a harness; it's what's appropriate for your child's safety.

    I only wish I could've gotten my youngest to wear a harness when he was a toddler. But he'd have a total meltdown with it on. Screaming, punching, kicking, the whole nine yards. Couldn't even get him to hold my hand without him clawing and biting me. Ended up just having to stick by his side like glue when we were in a parking lot or sidewalk street. So glad he outgrew that stage.

    No, problem with it. If your kid likes to take off and run. Times are different now, kids getting snatched up more these days.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
    Never. But that's just my opinion.

    This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    I have two children, 4 and 7, and have never used one. I don't really like them and would not use one unless it was an extreme situation. We go out all the time, multiple trips to Disney and we've managed. If your child is a bolter, I can understand the impulse to use one. However, if you start using one as soon as they start walking, how are they going to learn to pay attention to whats around them and stay with you if you are always doing it for them with the harness? Just my opinion.

    I think that's rather like saying we won't learn to drive safely if we always have a seatbelt on. Or you equally apply that argument to holding their hand - how will they learn if you hold onto them? Yet they still learn how to be safe. You would still be explaining how to cross roads/ not to go off with strangers etc. You don't use a harness in place of parenting, anymore than holding their hand is.
  • Bbwnomore2
    Bbwnomore2 Posts: 225 Member
    in my opinion they are a wonderful thing. my child wore one, not only kept her in sight, also kept her safe

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