How to get my husband to accept me lifting heavy?

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  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    This thread is highly entertaining.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    OdesAngel wrote: »
    This thread is highly entertaining.

    QFT
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    barefoot, AND in the kitchen. lol.
  • Snow3y
    Snow3y Posts: 1,412 Member
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    Let time do the talking
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
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    Well op I would suggest you have sex before or after you work out then that is not a issue. My hubby complain too but then as I became stronger I was able to do things or position I was not able to and then he loved it! Also it is ok to make him still feel needed by having him do things for you and ask him what does he need to feel needed? If its scooping ice cream then let him do it for you. Its not that big a deal. And I think if he sees how important it is to you and how happy it is making you he may come around or you will have to talk of he id beinh negative every time and fighting you about it I have a non support husband its a daily thing unless I choose my workout times to be different.
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
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    Tell him you will not lift things heavier than a child. Seventeen year old boys are still technically children, are they not?
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
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    TyronnePanaino wrote: »
    Let time do the talking

    Agreed. Continue to lift, since he isn't keeping you from it. Show him that you aren't going to get bulky by just sticking with your program.

  • KnM0107
    KnM0107 Posts: 355 Member
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    Mamahana82 wrote: »
    GothyFaery wrote: »
    Let me just put this out there. My husband loves me dearly. He respects me and treats me like a princess. He opens doors for me. He does everything I was taught a man should do for a woman. Just because we have a 1950's mindset doesn't mean we aren't equils. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it but I'm not asking you to agree. I will always dream of being the perfect Stepford wife. It's what I want. That doesn't mean I can't lift weights though. I really didn't think this would be this big of a can of worms. I really just wanted to know if there was some way I can get him to not resent me lifting. I guess not. I guess it's just something he's got to get used to.

    It kinda DOES mean you can't lift, if this is the type of relationship you have.

    Oh good Lord. No it does not. My husband and I have traditional views and he is the head of the house hold. Having a traditional relationship doesn't mean we are not equal and it doesn't mean I can't be strong and lift weights.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    KnM0107 wrote: »
    Mamahana82 wrote: »
    GothyFaery wrote: »
    Let me just put this out there. My husband loves me dearly. He respects me and treats me like a princess. He opens doors for me. He does everything I was taught a man should do for a woman. Just because we have a 1950's mindset doesn't mean we aren't equils. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it but I'm not asking you to agree. I will always dream of being the perfect Stepford wife. It's what I want. That doesn't mean I can't lift weights though. I really didn't think this would be this big of a can of worms. I really just wanted to know if there was some way I can get him to not resent me lifting. I guess not. I guess it's just something he's got to get used to.

    It kinda DOES mean you can't lift, if this is the type of relationship you have.

    Oh good Lord. No it does not. My husband and I have traditional views and he is the head of the house hold. Having a traditional relationship doesn't mean we are not equal and it doesn't mean I can't be strong and lift weights.

    There's a difference between having traditional views and desiring to be a Stepford wife.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    KnM0107 wrote: »
    Mamahana82 wrote: »
    GothyFaery wrote: »
    Let me just put this out there. My husband loves me dearly. He respects me and treats me like a princess. He opens doors for me. He does everything I was taught a man should do for a woman. Just because we have a 1950's mindset doesn't mean we aren't equils. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it but I'm not asking you to agree. I will always dream of being the perfect Stepford wife. It's what I want. That doesn't mean I can't lift weights though. I really didn't think this would be this big of a can of worms. I really just wanted to know if there was some way I can get him to not resent me lifting. I guess not. I guess it's just something he's got to get used to.

    It kinda DOES mean you can't lift, if this is the type of relationship you have.

    Oh good Lord. No it does not. My husband and I have traditional views and he is the head of the house hold. Having a traditional relationship doesn't mean we are not equal and it doesn't mean I can't be strong and lift weights.

    I'm in a traditional sort of arrangement currently in my relationship too. My husband works full time and I take care of the kids, the house, cooking, grocery shopping ... but I can use the grill. He doesn't get freaked out when I take time for myself to exercise. The type of exercise doesn't even matter, and he's never not once told me he didn't like me doing it. Then again that is where our "traditional" roll ends, because I would tell him where to stick it if he tried to dissuade me from exercising.

    The OP stated she wants to make her husband "completely happy in every way". If he doesn't like her lifting then there's clearly a serious difference in her fitness desires and her goals for her role as a wife.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
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    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.
  • daydreams_of_pretty
    daydreams_of_pretty Posts: 506 Member
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    GothyFaery wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.

    jow6btca20ks.jpg
  • arrrrjt
    arrrrjt Posts: 245 Member
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    KnM0107 wrote: »
    Oh good Lord. No it does not. My husband and I have traditional views and he is the head of the house hold. Having a traditional relationship doesn't mean we are not equal and it doesn't mean I can't be strong and lift weights.
    The difference is he ACCEPTS you lifting the weights.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    GothyFaery wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.

    I don't disagree with you and I'm really not criticizing traditional roles at all. I'm not tearing down or making fun of your lifestyle. I just think that since he mentioned that it is interfering, that this must be on his mind. Maybe he doesn't want to have to ask, maybe he'd like for you to initiate more often, or for it to be more spontaneous. As I said above, perhaps he sees your commitment and schedule for the workout and wishes for more regularity in that area too, without having to ask or initiate. I could be wrong. You could try it and see if it makes him happier, or you could sit him down and have a discussion, or you could ignore me entirely. *shrug*

  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    GothyFaery wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.

    He's probably tired of having to ask.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
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    deksgrl wrote: »
    GothyFaery wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.

    I don't disagree with you and I'm really not criticizing traditional roles at all. I'm not tearing down or making fun of your lifestyle. I just think that since he mentioned that it is interfering, that this must be on his mind. Maybe he doesn't want to have to ask, maybe he'd like for you to initiate more often, or for it to be more spontaneous. As I said above, perhaps he sees your commitment and schedule for the workout and wishes for more regularity in that area too, without having to ask or initiate. I could be wrong. You could try it and see if it makes him happier, or you could sit him down and have a discussion, or you could ignore me entirely. *shrug*

    I'm sorry for the snark, it really wasn't directed at you. Most of my views on what I believe a good wife should do have been argued in this thread and it's made me more defensive than I should be. I do appreciate your advice.
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
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    deksgrl wrote: »
    GothyFaery wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.

    I don't disagree with you and I'm really not criticizing traditional roles at all. I'm not tearing down or making fun of your lifestyle. I just think that since he mentioned that it is interfering, that this must be on his mind. Maybe he doesn't want to have to ask, maybe he'd like for you to initiate more often, or for it to be more spontaneous. As I said above, perhaps he sees your commitment and schedule for the workout and wishes for more regularity in that area too, without having to ask or initiate. I could be wrong. You could try it and see if it makes him happier, or you could sit him down and have a discussion, or you could ignore me entirely. *shrug*

    Honestly it seems like his issue is sexual attraction, not the actual lack of sex. He doesn't want her to be "bulky" like her friends. I'm guessing he'd be turned off if she suddenly sprouted visible muscles.

    also LMAO at "I never turn my man down," girl this is 2014.
  • mave34
    mave34 Posts: 109 Member
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    I guess it comes down to what you really want and you need to figure out whether you would rather play your role as the perfect 50's wife that lives by her husbands rules or you want to do things for yourself to be a better you. I guess you have a fine line there but if he is against it than I guess you better step away from the gym. I'm not sure how you can have both? I live my life for me and my children, not for any man, so I have a hard time wrapping my brain around this one. But it doesn't seem like you can have your cake and eat it too. Orrrrr you keep going and maybe he will just get used to the idea, maybe even join you...... or the negative side of the coin. You cannot really convince or change someones way of thinking and it's a waste of energy trying.

    I have to add that just because he is a gentleman and holds doors for you etc etc doesn't mean he isn't mentally damaging and controlling (that is the independence in me talking) I was getting comments from my fiance like "who are you trying to impress?" "must be coworkers your trying to look good for" and "there's no time for me" and guess what, I sent him packing last week! I'm more important because my children need me here and healthy that's my the bottom line. JMO
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    levitateme wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    GothyFaery wrote: »
    deksgrl wrote: »
    It is all solved. He just wants more sex.

    I know I'm going to get a rash of *kitten* for this but I have never once turned my husband down for sex. I beleive it's my duty as a wife to be there for my husband. I don't care how tired I am or what I feel like, I have not and will not ever turn him down. That being said, he doesn't ask for it if he knows I'm really not feeling well... But if he wants more he knows all he ever has to do is ask.

    Now if you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine but please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not going to change.

    I don't disagree with you and I'm really not criticizing traditional roles at all. I'm not tearing down or making fun of your lifestyle. I just think that since he mentioned that it is interfering, that this must be on his mind. Maybe he doesn't want to have to ask, maybe he'd like for you to initiate more often, or for it to be more spontaneous. As I said above, perhaps he sees your commitment and schedule for the workout and wishes for more regularity in that area too, without having to ask or initiate. I could be wrong. You could try it and see if it makes him happier, or you could sit him down and have a discussion, or you could ignore me entirely. *shrug*

    Honestly it seems like his issue is sexual attraction, not the actual lack of sex. He doesn't want her to be "bulky" like her friends. I'm guessing he'd be turned off if she suddenly sprouted visible muscles.

    also LMAO at "I never turn my man down," girl this is 2014.

    I suppose that is possible, but in my experience, most guys think if you still have boobs, you are still plenty attractive. lol. I know there are exceptions, but....

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