Friends who don't exercise?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I am touching on other issues that need to be talked about that will help her do the C25K program. I had talks with friend (OP). She told me somethings I care to not share here being they are very personal to her.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I am touching on other issues that need to be talked about that will help her do the C25K program. I had talks with friend (OP). She told me somethings I care to not share here being they are very personal to her.
Then why even hint at them here. Take it to PM. Seriously.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I am touching on other issues that need to be talked about that will help her do the C25K program. I had talks with friend (OP). She told me somethings I care to not share here being they are very personal to her.
Then why even hint at them here. Take it to PM. Seriously.
Good point maybe I was just trying to help the way OP project herself here since a lot of people have called her out but did not take one second to figure out why. I think the very first or second comment that was deleted was a direct attack to OP that we still never got a explanation for.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I am touching on other issues that need to be talked about that will help her do the C25K program. I had talks with friend (OP). She told me somethings I care to not share here being they are very personal to her.
Then why even hint at them here. Take it to PM. Seriously.
Good point maybe I was just trying to help the way OP project herself here since a lot of people have called her out but did not take one second to figure out why. I think the very first or second comment that was deleted was a direct attack to OP that we still never got a explanation for.
Yeah, I guess. The thread started to shift positive though and you just put it right back into the negative.
OP said she's going to try it out - let's give her a round of applause for that step and leave it be!0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I am touching on other issues that need to be talked about that will help her do the C25K program. I had talks with friend (OP). She told me somethings I care to not share here being they are very personal to her.
Then why even hint at them here. Take it to PM. Seriously.
Good point maybe I was just trying to help the way OP project herself here since a lot of people have called her out but did not take one second to figure out why. I think the very first or second comment that was deleted was a direct attack to OP that we still never got a explanation for.
Yeah, I guess. The thread started to shift positive though and you just put it right back into the negative.
OP said she's going to try it out - let's give her a round of applause for that step and leave it be!
You are right.
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looks best clothed or looks best in a swimsuit? big difference! be specific about your goals and ytou'll get way more specific advice
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looks best clothed or looks best in a swimsuit? big difference! be specific about your goals and ytou'll get way more specific advice
Eh, I don't wear swimsuits. I'd settle for looking good in jeans and a t-shirt. But maybe I'll be able to wear a swimsuit someday if I lose weight.:)0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I didn't see his post as negative. Negative self talk is a bad habit, I know. I'm working on it. It's hard to see yourself in a positive light, or even fake it, when you've felt awful about yourself for years--especially when it comes to physical appearance.0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »What a shame it is how you talk to her.
What a shame it is how you talk to everyone.
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malavika413 wrote: »Eh, I don't wear swimsuits. I'd settle for looking good in jeans and a t-shirt. But maybe I'll be able to wear a swimsuit someday if I lose weight.:)
You can wear one now. Seriously, wearing one and swimming and enjoying the water is way better than not wearing one because you're too self-conscious.
I don't enjoy the beach very much; I'm a fair-skinned redhead and I burn in like 10 seconds in the sun. But I still own a swimsuit and go to the beach or to the pool sometimes, and my friends certainly don't judge me -- they're just happy to have me around.
There's no rule you have to be a certain size to wear a swimsuit.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »Eh, I don't wear swimsuits. I'd settle for looking good in jeans and a t-shirt. But maybe I'll be able to wear a swimsuit someday if I lose weight.:)
You can wear one now. Seriously, wearing one and swimming and enjoying the water is way better than not wearing one because you're too self-conscious.
I don't enjoy the beach very much; I'm a fair-skinned redhead and I burn in like 10 seconds in the sun. But I still own a swimsuit and go to the beach or to the pool sometimes, and my friends certainly don't judge me -- they're just happy to have me around.
There's no rule you have to be a certain size to wear a swimsuit.
That's true, and I do have one. But it's a fat girl swimsuit and wearing it just reminds me of how far I have to go. I'm not a swimmer anyway, so there aren't really opportunities to wear it.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Why do you keep using this negative talk about yourself friend? Now sometimes I do use it to motivate me. You using it it not helping you though.
I think I remember a lot of what you feel is in your head. You don't want to be sweating (working to better yourself) in front of your boyfriend. You told me a lot of other things that you feel other people think but you do not know that unless you ask.
Now real talk. You call yourself gross right. Exercise can and will change that outlook on yourself. The first step which you already made was to change your eating habit which is get. I have the fitness side down and still working to make my diet better.
If you find yourself gross why are you not doing 100% effort to change that. Everyone keeps bring exercise of some form into this equation because it will help you get to where you want to be.
I also remember you were seeing someone. Do you find this helpful? If too personal to put here you can always PM a friend.
Did you actually read her post?
She has decided to do a C25K with her boyfriend. Yay for her!
I didn't see his post as negative. Negative self talk is a bad habit, I know. I'm working on it. It's hard to see yourself in a positive light, or even fake it, when you've felt awful about yourself for years--especially when it comes to physical appearance.
I know that my delivery was very tough but I know I have build enough rapport to know that she was not going to discard it.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
so this +1000000000000000000000000000000000000
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malavika413 wrote: »An update on my end. My fitness-averse boyfriend decided he wanted to work out with me. Despite the fact that I'm very very nervous about sweating in front of him, or in front of other people in general, I'm going to give it a shot. We're going to try out the C25K thing on Saturday and see if we want to complete the program. I just really hope I don't chicken out (I've chickened out before) because I'm scared of being out of shape in front of him. Yes, he's out of shape too, but he's not chubby and gross.
Enjoy it together. i wish my bf would do something like that with me.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This makes me exceptionally sad.
I see so many women on this site who are on the cusp of being brave enough and launching themselves into better overall fitness and someone comes along and announces that the gym is nothing more than an exclusive clubhouse filled with an insensitive crowd of indecent bullies who gang up on overweight people by calling names and alienating them.
That is not a gym.
That is not how you see a gym when you are there 3-5 days a week for years and years. You see it as a safe haven. A second home. Somewhere to run to when you are alone and broken and defeated and unloved. Somewhere you can gather yourself before a fight. Your secret lair. Your BatCave. shared with your brothers in arms.
People don't go to the gym to point and laugh at people who are starting.
People who frequent gyms also know a bit of the timing of the demographics that roll through the gym as well.
In the evenings on Thursday/Friday nights and Saturday afternoons - it's a social arena. It's when the flirting and the joking and the playing happens. Between 2 and 4:30, its the highschool kids.
If THESE are the demographics you are avoiding, then recognize that is the goals and habits of certain people at certain times that you would prefer to avoid - that it isnt THE BIG EVIL GYM FULL OF BULLIES.
yall break my heart.
I would be completely lost without my gym. I'm so glad I took that first step to join.0 -
me too. I wish I had discovered lifting before I was 37. It has changed my life0
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