Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm

wineplease

But the meaning you were giving to it was not the literal one. You were clearly insulting her for not wanting to put up with children raising hell and bothering others. Not to mention your comment right above that about how she's such a "peach" for not wanting to put up with screaming children.

I used the word "entitled" correctly. She feels more entitled to not have to listen to a crying child because she's paying more money.

I said she's a peach because she used the word retarded and the belittling way she referred to children with special needs. It was sarcastic, as I do not find her to be peachy at all.

wineplease

Take an example here. Chucky Cheese is a low dollar establishment where you expect screaming kids and running around and such. If I go out to ruth's chris, I should not expect to put up with your screaming brat. So, basically yes.

Poor analagy here. Chuck E. Cheese is a pizza place meant for children. If you are at Olive Garden (low dollar) or Ruth's Chris (higher dollar), you should expect to dine without hearing a screaming child. My point is, expecting more because of how much you're paying is entitlement.

MelsAuntie

But the meaning you were giving to it was not the literal one. You were clearly insulting her for not wanting to put up with children raising hell and bothering others. Not to mention your comment right above that about how she's such a "peach" for not wanting to put up with screaming children.

I used the word "entitled" correctly. She feels more entitled to not have to listen to a crying child because she's paying more money.

I said she's a peach because she used the word retarded and the belittling way she referred to children with special needs. It was sarcastic, as I do not find her to be peachy at all.

Oh, bull****. I did NOT belittle kids with special needs. I said I didn't want to have to listen to a kid--ANY kid--making a noisy disturbance. Reread the posts, I'm not the only one who doesn't want to put up with that.. And far from "entitled", I couldn't afford $100 for a haircut--that would be a high-priced salon, where OF COURSE I wouldn't expect to have to be bothered by somebody's screaming kid.

Flab2fitfi

Gave up reading half way through.

I have children with autism and yes it can be hard.

I can understand the owners point of view but the way she went about it was all wrong. She also knew the history of the child and quite happy to take the booking. Also the child was quite young and anyone with any experience will know that ANY child of that age may react badly to someone trying to cut their hair BUT again she allowed the booking.

However badly she reacted is no worse than then some of the comments on here.

Been called lazy or being TOLD to make my child behave because they have a disability. Would those same people want a wheel chair bound child to get out of their chair and walk?

We try to limit the situations which triggers our children behaviour but sometimes we have no choice but brave the outside world. Most of us parents with children on the spectrum rather not put our children in situations that cause meltdowns so please remember however hard it is to hear a child throwing a tantrum imagine how much harder it is for a parent who is trying to deal with the best way they can because they have to get some ilk, visit a dentist or get a hair cut. That parent is dealing with a child that maybe also be physically aggressive, immobile or trying to run - they will be trying to calm a child down who may be unable to understand or communicate why they are upset.

And parents have to do all this while dealing with tuts and stares form other adults who think they could do better AND yes we are very aware (and embarrassed) that our child has spoilt your day out. Just remember you may have to put up with that child for 10 minutes of your life - those parents deal with it day in day out.

Sorry if this is a rant but I'm fed up people telling us that we should MAKE our children behave.

Joocey

But the meaning you were giving to it was not the literal one. You were clearly insulting her for not wanting to put up with children raising hell and bothering others. Not to mention your comment right above that about how she's such a "peach" for not wanting to put up with screaming children.

I used the word "entitled" correctly. She feels more entitled to not have to listen to a crying child because she's paying more money.

I said she's a peach because she used the word retarded and the belittling way she referred to children with special needs. It was sarcastic, as I do not find her to be peachy at all.

Hah. So when you said, "Entitled much? I don't find this a "high-priced" place anyway." you weren't being sarcastic? You were, in fact, supporting her in agreement that she is entitled to greater peace because she paid more?

Joocey

And parents have to do all this while dealing with tuts and stares form other adults who think they could do better AND yes we are very aware (and embarrassed) that our child has spoilt your day out. Just remember you may have to put up with that child for 10 minutes of your life - those parents deal with it day in day out.

Sorry if this is a rant but I'm fed up people telling us that we should MAKE our children behave.

It doesn't make me feel any better if you are embarrassed and/or aware that your child has spoiled my day. That's just an awful situation for all parties. And I understand that, sometimes, things happen that are beyond your control.

But that doesn't change the fact that your child spoiled my day. It happens. I get it. But I'm disgusted by some of the posters that make it sound like that is MY FAULT that my day got spoiled. (Which, I suppose, is only accurate to the extent that it's my fault anytime something happens and it affects me e.g. if I get rear-ended it's my fault if I get upset when I could, alternatively, go meditate or something and not care that my insurance premiums will now go up, that I've been injured, that I'll be without a car, etc.)

wineplease

Hah. So when you said, "Entitled much? I don't find this a "high-priced" place anyway." you weren't being sarcastic? You were, in fact, supporting her in agreement that she is entitled to greater peace because she paid more?

No. I just explained why I used the word entitled. She suggested that because she considered it a high-priced place, she was entitled to not having to be exposed to a crying child. I was not being sarcastic when I said I don't consider that a high-priced place. I don't. Those prices are not high to me.

credessa

Then the owner of said upscale spa should ream out her stylist for booking and honoring the appointment, not the patron.

wineplease

It doesn't make me feel any better if you are embarrassed and/or aware that your child has spoiled my day.

A crying child spoils your day? Maybe if you changed your attitude about life, little things wouldn't spoil your day do easily.

MelsAuntie

Sounds like YOU might be entitled, Wine, if you think $100 isn't high priced for a haircut. It's $20 more than I've ever paid for a haircut, color, AND styling. Wow.

wineplease

Sounds like YOU might be entitled, Wine, if you think $100 isn't high priced for a haircut. It's $20 more than I've ever paid for a haircut, color, AND styling. Wow.

You don't understand the word, then. It has nothing to do with how much you spend on something. It has to do with the attitude one has.

I looked at the price list, and it's not $100 for a haircut. Not sure where you got that info.

Joocey

Hah. So when you said, "Entitled much? I don't find this a "high-priced" place anyway." you weren't being sarcastic? You were, in fact, supporting her in agreement that she is entitled to greater peace because she paid more?

No. I just explained why I used the word entitled. She suggested that because she considered it a high-priced place, she was entitled to not having to be exposed to a crying child. I was not being sarcastic when I said I don't consider that a high-priced place. I don't. Those prices are not high to me.

It's hard to tell if you honestly believe what you're saying or if you're taking great liberties with what you said to avoid making it sound like you belittled her.

When you ask someone if they're "Entitled much?" it comes across as the text equivalent of asking, "Gee aren't you spoiled pretty little princess who wants the world handed to her on a silver platter?" In other words, "Entitled much?" = You are NOT entitled to anything.

IF -- and I don't believe this for a second -- you were simply stating a FACT i.e. that she paid for greater service and thus deserves greater service, there would be (1) no need to ask it as a question; no need to add the modifying "much"; and (3) no need to state it at all. It would simply be a repetition of the literal definition of what she said.

See, for example, if I replied to your post with:

"Deal with the real world much?"

"Think about others much?"

"Make personal attacks much?"

But ultimately, only you know what you meant so I'll stop belaboring this point other than to say that, however you INTENDED it, it came across as CONDESCENDING.

LMT2012

So when the spa owner was hollering at the mother, the post states that the mom, stylist and other patrons were silent/disbelieving. I can't help but wonder what was the kid doing? Perhaps the distraction shut him up too?

Joocey

It doesn't make me feel any better if you are embarrassed and/or aware that your child has spoiled my day.

A crying child spoils your day? Maybe if you changed your attitude about life, little things wouldn't spoil your day do easily.

I was responding to a post where the POSTER said in such a hypothetical situation that they were aware and embarrassed that their child spoiled my day. I made no separate comment on whether a crying child would, in fact, spoil my day.

Maybe if you took the time to read posts more carefully you would stop making unwarranted personal attacks on other posters.

wineplease

But ultimately, only you know what you meant so I'll stop belaboring this point other than to say that, however you INTENDED it, it came across as CONDESCENDING.

I've already told you I was being sarcastic and snarky by saying, "Entitled much"? I'm not sure what you're getting at here. Her comment made her sound entitled, so I asked her in a snarky way if she was entitled. Is that better?

frankizoy

upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

she could have handled it better though, she didn't have to yell at them

Joocey

But ultimately, only you know what you meant so I'll stop belaboring this point other than to say that, however you INTENDED it, it came across as CONDESCENDING.

I've already told you I was being sarcastic and snarky by saying, "Entitled much"? I'm not sure what you're getting at here. Her comment made her sound entitled, so I asked her in a snarky way if she was entitled. Is that better?

Then why are you arguing when you agree with me that you were "snidely insulting people who don't want to put up with children raising hell and bothering others as "entitled"."

wineplease

Then why are you arguing when you agree with me that you were "snidely insulting people who don't want to put up with children raising hell and bothering others as "entitled"."

Good grief! The word "entitled" has to do with her thinking that way because she's spending more money.

KristysLosing

thats sad
I was a single parent and not by choice it was leave my kids dad or end up dead
both kids were very young 8 months and 27 months, I could not just leave them and go shopping or whatever only time they had a baby sitter was when i worked. when i needed to go shopping they went if they had a tantrum well i would leave the store with them in tow they quickly learned that having tantrums did not pay

And parents shouldn't leave their kid to do things like shopping and such. Kids will never learn how to act in a situation like that if we don't put them in the situation. My kids are 4 and 5. I have been taking them shopping alone and to sit down restaurants for years. They get a little loud sometimes, which I take care of, but they know how to act. Tantrums are out of our control. What is within our control is how we handle them. I hate the people think a person is doing a bad job because their 2 yr old is throwing a fit. It happens at 2, and there is hardly such a thing as situationally appropriate at this age. I do feel sorry for this mom. Being in that situation is stressful enough. I see both sides...should have taken the kid somewhere kid friendly, but I've heard she's been taking him there for a while. At the same time...I don't know of any place around where we live that is special for kids. I don't know what she has there. I feel the owner handled this very poorly. Even if she was having a bad day, that is no excuse. If I unleash on one of my customers because I'm having a bad day, I'm going to lose my job. I'm obviously not the owner, but the point remains. That is not how you treat your customers, albeit the one making the scene or not. Like I said before...children will not learn how to act in certain places and situations if not put in those places and situations. And they are people too.

Joocey

Then why are you arguing when you agree with me that you were "snidely insulting people who don't want to put up with children raising hell and bothering others as "entitled"."

Good grief! The word "entitled" has to do with her thinking that way because she's spending more money.

Hells Bells!

Raise your hand if you think that paying more for something doesn't entitle you to more than someone who is paying less for the same thing. It's not a "way of thinking". It's what entitlement MEANS.

Unless you routinely pay more for something than necessary without getting something more in return. But that would seem to be the height of foolish consumerism.