Irrational fears? Weight loss and Infidelity.
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ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »
I may have miss read some of your comments, and you let me know I was reading a tone that wasn't there, and I did answers the questions raised.ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »
And I repeat: If you didn't want these people judged, you should have kept your fingers shut and not put the story out there.ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »I'm not worried about cheating on my SO when I lose weight... And he's already putting out more now than he did when I was 12lbs heavier. I'm hoping losing weight brings us closer. I'm kind of a *kitten* when I'm fat
Can you go one post without attacking this person? I understand you are passionate about the topic but why label them without knowing them? It is your right to post and feel how you want, but your inability to remove your judgmental comments, in a discussion you claim is straight forward black and white, speaks volumes.
If you CANNOT trust yourself to be faithful because someone paid you a little attention, you are not doing the person you supposedly love any favors. That's selfish and wrong. If you CAN'T be monogamous (thinking you might want to bang someone but knowing you wouldn't follow through is a different story), stay single or choose a different kind of relationship.ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »
That kind of person should really rethink being in a committed, monogamous relationship then.RekindledRose wrote: »Temptation is a powerful thing.
Everyone who has said that a person shouldn't change who they are simply because they are slimmer is missing the point. When a person is more attractive they will have more opportunities to flirt or cheat. Someone who knows that they are easily tempted may in fact opt to keep on their weight as it is both a psychological and physical 'shield' to help keep temptation away.
I've had plenty of opportunities to cheat in my life and I haven't because I'm committed to my partner. The attention is flattering and nice, but that's as far as it goes.
So those who desire a monogamous relationship but struggle with temptation should deny themselves the relationship?
It is nice you have never felt these struggles, but to condemn someone to a life without something they want because they have to work harder for it than you do is wrong!
It isn't OK to do that to another person. It just isn't.
And quit complaining about how people react to the people you're talking about. Don't put it out there if you don't want people to respond. Of course they're going to judge. You are describing people who are very screwed up.
again volumes! It's sad that because you have no ability to debate/discuss like an adult, without name calling, or character attacks, others have to refrain from answering threads.
Yes, but there have been perfectly fine responses that you have perceived as attacks. You are being highly sensitive on this issue, for whatever reason.
This person freely admits the attacks and somehow feels it is how a conversation or debate is supposed to go. Even when called on the childish behavior she continues and even defends it. It just makes me smh...
Sounds like she cannot help it.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »
I may have miss read some of your comments, and you let me know I was reading a tone that wasn't there, and I did answers the questions raised.ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »
And I repeat: If you didn't want these people judged, you should have kept your fingers shut and not put the story out there.ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »I'm not worried about cheating on my SO when I lose weight... And he's already putting out more now than he did when I was 12lbs heavier. I'm hoping losing weight brings us closer. I'm kind of a *kitten* when I'm fat
Can you go one post without attacking this person? I understand you are passionate about the topic but why label them without knowing them? It is your right to post and feel how you want, but your inability to remove your judgmental comments, in a discussion you claim is straight forward black and white, speaks volumes.
If you CANNOT trust yourself to be faithful because someone paid you a little attention, you are not doing the person you supposedly love any favors. That's selfish and wrong. If you CAN'T be monogamous (thinking you might want to bang someone but knowing you wouldn't follow through is a different story), stay single or choose a different kind of relationship.ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »
That kind of person should really rethink being in a committed, monogamous relationship then.RekindledRose wrote: »Temptation is a powerful thing.
Everyone who has said that a person shouldn't change who they are simply because they are slimmer is missing the point. When a person is more attractive they will have more opportunities to flirt or cheat. Someone who knows that they are easily tempted may in fact opt to keep on their weight as it is both a psychological and physical 'shield' to help keep temptation away.
I've had plenty of opportunities to cheat in my life and I haven't because I'm committed to my partner. The attention is flattering and nice, but that's as far as it goes.
So those who desire a monogamous relationship but struggle with temptation should deny themselves the relationship?
It is nice you have never felt these struggles, but to condemn someone to a life without something they want because they have to work harder for it than you do is wrong!
It isn't OK to do that to another person. It just isn't.
And quit complaining about how people react to the people you're talking about. Don't put it out there if you don't want people to respond. Of course they're going to judge. You are describing people who are very screwed up.
again volumes! It's sad that because you have no ability to debate/discuss like an adult, without name calling, or character attacks, others have to refrain from answering threads.
Yes, but there have been perfectly fine responses that you have perceived as attacks. You are being highly sensitive on this issue, for whatever reason.
This person freely admits the attacks and somehow feels it is how a conversation or debate is supposed to go. Even when called on the childish behavior she continues and even defends it. It just makes me smh...
Sounds like she cannot help it.
Prob the same way my friend can't help feeling the weight saves them from temptation.
Guess the world is full of people who respond irrationally to life situations. Lol0 -
fenderman9 wrote: »"If I lose a lot of weight, I'm going to be a lot more attractive and with the added attention from the opposite sex, it might affect my current relationship".
There is the old saying that a person is only as faithful as their options. Fact is, there are plenty of people in the world that have more options that you could imagine, and they are faithful in relationships. There are plenty of overweight and out of shape people that cheat. That is to say, one does not cause the other.
A person being unfaithful is simply a choice they make based on weakness.
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