Depression and Weight Loss

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Replies

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,883 Member
    68myra wrote: »
    I would really like to know what you think about this area?

    Sometimes meds are critically necessary. Sometimes meds can take the edge off so that we can be able to learn and apply other skills so that we don't need meds long term. Each case is different.

    Amen to this, allenpriest!

    I would love to forgo big pharma. I've tried, with bad results. Each case is different, and frankly, each rise and fall of my own depression is also different. Without being able to exercise, the drug that worked so well in July is no longer working. Sigh, back to the proverbial drawing board. Could I try again to just stop taking pharma drugs and see what happens? I could, but I really don't want my children visiting me in a mental hospital. I'm not being dramatic. There are so many levels and severities of this "issue" we call depression........ Not wanting to be alive anymore just feels like an illness to me. It is not normal to want to die. Maybe I use the term "illness" as a crutch. I will never kill myself. Never. As much as I would like to. I tell myself it is the illness that wants to die, not me. That, and not wanting to give my children the legacy of a mother who left them through suicide....... Keep me alive. (On my darkest of days)

    My brother's anti-psychotic stopped working a few years ago, and it was a rough year before they found something that worked again.

    09390f60c79382015ca532165d45f5f3.png
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,883 Member
    My goodness,
    Mr Depression wrote that last message. I think he took great pleasure in wrecking my love for this thread and the people I am getting to know. I wonder if he expected a pity party and hoped that he would be rescued. Hmmmm. I wonder if that is where my Deoression and weight problems attach to? Is that a form of victimisation or victim consciousness? We are in charge of our choices and maybe not our moods BUT how we respond to them. I can let today be a crap day or turn things around. May I let you know what works? Something has to!
    Take care
    S

    Glad you turned your mood around :)
  • TrickyDisco
    TrickyDisco Posts: 2,869 Member
    68myra wrote: »
    if only i could learn to treat myself with the same compassion i so easily feel for anyone but me.

    Can really relate to this and I expect many others can too - a lot of the people who treat those with depression and other mental health issues with such scorn and even hatred (as if it's all our own fault/choice to have those issues, like we'd CHOOSE to be this way) don't realise that everything they say and do to hurt us is nothing compared to what we put ourselves through. I could not say/do the things to another person that some have said and done both to me and to a relative with a far more severe mental health condition than mine.


  • kuroshii
    kuroshii Posts: 168 Member
    "But [Kuroshii], how can you be depressed? You have nothing to be sad about!"
    ::headdesk::
  • shelleygold
    shelleygold Posts: 178 Member
    Ok,
    Today: a new challenge
    One thing you know about yourself which is true. And one thing about what you think about yourself which is totally false.
    Depression distorts my thinking and just because I think of something doesn't make it true!!
    My one is: I can change the way I approach certain eating habits (true)
    I can't stick to anything (false).
    Let's learn to use our brains in a more controlled way.
    Okay tribe: your turn.

    s
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    kuroshii wrote: »
    "But [Kuroshii], how can you be depressed? You have nothing to be sad about!"
    ::headdesk::
    IF i had a dime.... for every time i've heard this one..... :) at my current age, all i can say is.... LUCKY THEM, that they have no clue! :smiley:
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    now for today's challenge:
    true: I can persevere until i find the right solution to ease my depression.
    false: I'm feeling so very tired, it is just too hard to try to help myself.
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    thanks to kshama2001. I shall hang in there like that cute little kitten :) yes, it does "stink" when a med stops working it's magic. i was OK on one for almost ten years..... now i'm trying a 4th "replacement". 4th time is the charm, right?
  • shelleygold
    shelleygold Posts: 178 Member
    There are no promises, no guarantees and no predictions regarding our future. We can do all the right things and be dealt a critical blow to our well-being, our goals and our hopes. Then, just when it doesn't look like anything will matter and giving up looks pretty inviting, a glimmer of hope and slight breeze of change wafts through our awareness and we find something to hang on to. Depression isn't a stable element if we do not let it. Being overweight is not a life sentence. My healthy body lives at the gym, on walks by the sea, in the refrigerate which offers it proper food and nutrition and in my mind, where I create its choices and possibilities. If I am down and indifferent, my body gets neglected, abused, and misjudged. I treat it like it is the enemy and it is me against Mars (reference to the Martian...good movie). But, I have to have a relation with my body and understand that I am making choices for this bundle of tissue and mass and if I don't look after it, who will? If Depression becomes the boss, then we are both doomed. So.... I think the relationship between me and my body has to be a mindful and respectful one defined by truth, sincerity, honesty and love. I may have to put it through the paces and it will get hungry and sore at times. But, if I am being considerate and responsible given past injuries, true limitations and real concerns, then it is what it is and we will find a common and acceptable platform to work from. I do not think I will be a concern for the Australian olympic team anytime soon nor will I become a MFP hero. I will just be me, trundling through my ups and downs, my fears and anxieties, my depressive thoughts and my sense of optimism and each step will be a learning experience. "How did you climb all the way to the top"?, someone asked Sir Hillary (Man who first scaled Mt Everest). His infamous answer..."One step at a time". Not exactly, a riveting answer, but one based on thoughtful and mindful truth. Some of us have to rely on therapy, some on medication, some on both. Some of us are injured lambs, limping through our pain and difficulties whilst trying to create a "normal" existence. I do not know how the blessed few who skate through life unscathed and natural positive and happy do it but I am guessing that there are quite a number of folks like me (and perhaps you) that have to decide that we can take each step and make the step just as rewarding and fulfilling as the destination. I do not want to sound like a cliche as I have no idea how tough life is for each individual. Some fun was made of the man in the States who ordered a Pizza during his weight loss ordeal in the hospital and I noted that quite a number of people felt comfortable blaming him and stating the obvious regarding that choice. From my point of view, the very reason he has the overwhelming challenged of an eating disorder and consequentially, an enormous body is EXACTLY related to his sense that that was a good idea at the time. He needs help to see that he has other choices and there can be a way through this. I have taken up enough of your time with this insert my friends. I am feeling the gravity of the challenges today and at the same time, do not think there is anything other than taking the next tough step upwards.
    Hope your day/evening goes well. Be mindful and courageous.

    See you at the top

    Shel
  • RobertWilkens
    RobertWilkens Posts: 77 Member
    I have a disorder which 'includes' depression (Schizoaffective Bipolar Type)... I've had this illness almost 20 years now... I've been doing well the past year... Maybe the B-Complex and Fish Oil thing is right? Why? I found that my omeprazole (for heart burn due to being obese) was blocking absorption of B-12 and Iron. B-12 is linked to energy and positive mood as i understand it. Actually after that i started taking D-3 (for energy) in addition to the B-12, Fish Oil (my psychiatrist strongly suggested fish oil), and Iron, and soon after added in a daily probiotic. It gets expensive, all these supplements (the 'cheap' part is the generic prescriptions which insurance mostly covers). I hate to take any of these supplements away because no question I'm doing a lot better. Two years ago I was constantly crying out loud, feeling like i was going to break down, and when i couldn't take it anymore i fought hard to hold back rage. This year i have nothing like that. In full disclosure, between 2 years ago and now there have been medication changes, and i think getting back on lithium (rather than whatever other mood stabilizer i was on) helped get rid of the rage feelings. Incidentally, it's kind of funny, whatever i was crying about 2 years ago, i couldn't care less about today -- what seemed earth shattering important, today (recently) is completely irrelevant to my life. And nothing in reality has changed about it.
  • shelleygold
    shelleygold Posts: 178 Member
    Dear Robert (and everyone)
    Thanks for sharing such a success story. Who knows what our body needs until we open up all possibilities. With intelligent help combined with your willingness to do whatever it took(takes) regardless of the cost and disciplined you got there. A true inspiration.
    Thanks
  • shelleygold
    shelleygold Posts: 178 Member
    Well, this thread certainly has its quiet moments. I wonder if it is hard for us to find the words which describe our pain and suffering. I know that MFP is a rather upbeat commercialised corporation which relies on a rather desparate population of people who tend to be a bit directionless and distressed with weight and fitness issues. Yet, the forums allow us to explore the deeper issues and problems which some human beings face when they choose to be realistic and honest with their minds and bodies. I will try and be a reasonably positive and informed "operator" and when my depression grips me around the neck and I struggle to breathe easily, I will share what works....and what doesn't.
    I have stopped my "peanut butter and bread" daily ritual and eliminated chocolate. Is that helping? Well, I'm not gaining any weight so that's a good thing. I may be working too many hours and I'm grumpy but I don't think it's all my fault. I won't bore you with the details but life is tough right now. Still going to the gym and walking and I love that. Just feeling crappy and sad and I suspect depression takes us to the dark side of the moon. Oh well. tomorrow is a new day. My mom used to say that. I miss her.
    Time to sleep. Thanks for listening and I look forward to reading more about your worlds. You matter ... to me.
    Shel
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    You matter to me too, Shel. My dad used to say tomorrow is a new day, and I miss him too. He also used to say: Rome wasn't built in a day. Baby steps towards our goals. That's all we need: baby steps. Or sometimes my MO is two steps forward, one step back......but progress is still made, right?
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    On 10/21, both shelleygold and robertwilkens wrote insightful posts I thoroughly enjoyed reading. I did not respond to either, for on that day, I could not collect my thoughts. That is just another symptom of how far I've fallen, but I will climb back out, I assure you. In the meantime, I apologize if my writing is disorganized (or non-existent). My thoughts are equally disorganized, but that, too, Will. Pass. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!
  • RobertWilkens
    RobertWilkens Posts: 77 Member
    I am sorry if i haven't posted too much here. I personally don't feel like MFP should be a depression support board, though i think we can safely discuss issues relating to how weight loss is affected by meds and such (and also how diet and exercise affect out mood -- i've known for at least 10 years that the best prescription for depression is exercise, yet at the same time when i'm depressed it's hard to start moving). There are plenty of other places on the net for that (You'll find me at least occasionally in the discussion groups on nami.org, usually the Schizoaffective board, though i'm not even sure that's an appropriate place at least it's monitored by people with training for the few occasions there have been issues).
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,257 Member
    We are all "works in progress," whether physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually... You have strength beyond measure. Who could work so hard to make each day a good day? Only someone who is willing to put in the energy to learn, grow and work toward it. Every day.

    Make one good decision (even if it's eating 2 marshmallows). Then make another (grab a glass of water and walk outside instead of opening the bag again). And keep at it.
  • shelleygold
    shelleygold Posts: 178 Member
    Hi Group
    As I think about Robrrt's comments I worry that we often mistake intentions and expectations. This thread is nothing more than we make it. Like a Roreschack inkblot or a cloud in the sky with an interesting formation. We give the shape meaning and we tell the cloud what it looks like. Similarly, we decide what might be interesting to write about and what is cool about other's comments and stories. I'm sure support can be helpful and help can include support. This isn't therapy however from a professional perspective. Just people opening up a bit. If someone wrote that they were at risk, I imagine one would identify the seriousness of the comment and do what was possible. I think the complex area of body image, eating behaviours and habits may have important links to mood and our feelings which is why I started the thread last January. I think we can learn from one another and become wiser as we journey through our successss. I know I look forward to what amazing messages people place on here which is of course voluntary and always respected.
    .... Hope it continues to move forward.
    Off for a big hike today.
    Have a great day/evening wherever you are
    Shel


  • shelleygold
    shelleygold Posts: 178 Member
    Hi Everyone
    I attended an interesting group yesterday. Anyone hear of Overeaters Anonymous? The assumption people make when you go to this type of meeting is that you are a "compulsive" eater. I would love to hear your views on the what makes someone compulsive. I think to myself that we all have to eat to live so that is a reasonably good compulsive to have; otherwise ...well the alternative is silly. I think the organization targets people who cannot stop eating or at least cannot stop eating whatever foods meet needs that ought to be filled in healthier ways. (need for love, acceptance, having excitement in life, having meaning etc). So that made me think about how challenging it is to manage moods and food at the same time. If we have become used to eating to "feel better" or to distract or to fill a void, this may create a lifestyle and an environment for us that isn't easy, natural or balanced. How do you manage the balance in your life? Is eating food in a good "place" for you? Do you know what enough is enough? My partner can put a block of chocolate in the fridge and she can make it last a week... a month even. For me, that is unbelievable. If the sucker survives one night near me, that is an achievement. Would you be willing to share your relationship(s) with food. Mine is a love/hate one. It is getting easier but I notice with age, it gets harder and harder for me to lose weight so being far more mindful of what I am eating, I think. is critical. But I don't think I should take it out on food. Food exists in every type of form imaginable. Is it more about self-control/self discipline? Having foresight into how certain foods impact on the body and our metabolism? Lots of people talked about sugar last night. They equated abstinence with no sugar. Not everyone did this but quite a few. what are your thoughts about your relationship with sugary foods? I would love to know what you make of how food and you get along?
    Look forward to your thoughts and stories
    Shel (the not so sure) compulsive eater
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    Hi Group
    As I think about Robrrt's comments I worry that we often mistake intentions and expectations. This thread is nothing more than we make it. Like a Roreschack inkblot or a cloud in the sky with an interesting formation. We give the shape meaning and we tell the cloud what it looks like. Similarly, we decide what might be interesting to write about and what is cool about other's comments and stories. I'm sure support can be helpful and help can include support. This isn't therapy however from a professional perspective. Just people opening up a bit. If someone wrote that they were at risk, I imagine one would identify the seriousness of the comment and do what was possible. I think the complex area of body image, eating behaviours and habits may have important links to mood and our feelings which is why I started the thread last January. I think we can learn from one another and become wiser as we journey through our successss. I know I look forward to what amazing messages people place on here which is of course voluntary and always respected.
    .... Hope it continues to move forward.
    Off for a big hike today.
    Have a great day/evening wherever you are
    Shel

    I'm so glad i procrastinated writing about robertwilkens' post. Shel, you have a writing gift that i do not posses :) i do UNDERSTAND where Robert is coming from, and I'm glad he posted an alternative website. and for those who may be interested, i also recommend "projectbeyondblue" which was started for those of us with "treatment resistant depression" and their families. However, I found this thread by accident...... when i was told by my physical therapist to stop doing all the exercise forms i love (for a good reason, of course)..... and i knew, from prior experience, it would lead to worsening depression. by accident, I have met wonderful souls here, and I intend to continue dropping by! I can surely "dial it back" if i've been too intense lately. hopefully a new medication i started earlier this week will do that by default. ("it can happen!") at any rate, mood disorders and eating behaviors are surely linked..... in this girl's world, at least.
  • 68myra
    68myra Posts: 975 Member
    Hi Everyone
    I attended an interesting group yesterday. Anyone hear of Overeaters Anonymous? The assumption people make when you go to this type of meeting is that you are a "compulsive" eater. I would love to hear your views on the what makes someone compulsive. I think to myself that we all have to eat to live so that is a reasonably good compulsive to have; otherwise ...well the alternative is silly. I think the organization targets people who cannot stop eating or at least cannot stop eating whatever foods meet needs that ought to be filled in healthier ways. (need for love, acceptance, having excitement in life, having meaning etc). So that made me think about how challenging it is to manage moods and food at the same time. If we have become used to eating to "feel better" or to distract or to fill a void, this may create a lifestyle and an environment for us that isn't easy, natural or balanced. How do you manage the balance in your life? Is eating food in a good "place" for you? Do you know what enough is enough? My partner can put a block of chocolate in the fridge and she can make it last a week... a month even. For me, that is unbelievable. If the sucker survives one night near me, that is an achievement. Would you be willing to share your relationship(s) with food. Mine is a love/hate one. It is getting easier but I notice with age, it gets harder and harder for me to lose weight so being far more mindful of what I am eating, I think. is critical. But I don't think I should take it out on food. Food exists in every type of form imaginable. Is it more about self-control/self discipline? Having foresight into how certain foods impact on the body and our metabolism? Lots of people talked about sugar last night. They equated abstinence with no sugar. Not everyone did this but quite a few. what are your thoughts about your relationship with sugary foods? I would love to know what you make of how food and you get along?
    Look forward to your thoughts and stories
    Shel (the not so sure) compulsive eater

    I have heard of overeater's anonymous, but have never attended a meeting. I am, however, familiar with other 12-step programs. oh, how easy it is to "conquer" one addiction just to pick up another. I am not a food addict, but, i do have a love/hate relationship with food. After my long-time psychiatrist retired about a year ago, i had to "start over" with a new one. The initial intake is always the hardest part of that process, ANYWAY, i told her i was a food abuser. she asked me to explain and i told her....... when i'm struggling.... i don't eat to fuel my body. (in my mind's eye... that is the real reason for food) i eat my emotions (whatever they are), i eat because i'm bored, i eat to fill a "void", i eat because it's there, or it's "time" or as a social outlet. occasionally, i wonder if sometimes i overeat as a form of punishment! i have labeled this "food abuse" and that's when i hate food. i really wish i didn't have to eat at all. but that's just me.
    this is also just me: my body doesn't like sugar. i think a balanced diet includes sugar! but my body just doesn't do well on it. every time i overdo sugar, i pay the consequences. every single time. that's just me. I have (obviously) binged on sugar in the past, i will overeat sugar again in the future. i will pay the consequences and they are mainly emotional/mental ones. lucky me, i don't "pay" on the scale, at least not much, and although i can't say losing weight is by any means "easy" for me, it is a lot easier for me than for others. lucky me. I feel so much better mentally/emotionally when i eat whole foods, with minimal sugar. it is difficult for me to maintain eating that way when i don't exercise. probably the mood thing again. i have learned all of this through trial and error, by the way, and i surely understand that everyone is different and has different needs and experiences. i can only share with you what i've learned about myself! :)