Depression and Weight Loss
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Dear Robert (and everyone)
Thanks for sharing such a success story. Who knows what our body needs until we open up all possibilities. With intelligent help combined with your willingness to do whatever it took(takes) regardless of the cost and disciplined you got there. A true inspiration.
Thanks0 -
Well, this thread certainly has its quiet moments. I wonder if it is hard for us to find the words which describe our pain and suffering. I know that MFP is a rather upbeat commercialised corporation which relies on a rather desparate population of people who tend to be a bit directionless and distressed with weight and fitness issues. Yet, the forums allow us to explore the deeper issues and problems which some human beings face when they choose to be realistic and honest with their minds and bodies. I will try and be a reasonably positive and informed "operator" and when my depression grips me around the neck and I struggle to breathe easily, I will share what works....and what doesn't.
I have stopped my "peanut butter and bread" daily ritual and eliminated chocolate. Is that helping? Well, I'm not gaining any weight so that's a good thing. I may be working too many hours and I'm grumpy but I don't think it's all my fault. I won't bore you with the details but life is tough right now. Still going to the gym and walking and I love that. Just feeling crappy and sad and I suspect depression takes us to the dark side of the moon. Oh well. tomorrow is a new day. My mom used to say that. I miss her.
Time to sleep. Thanks for listening and I look forward to reading more about your worlds. You matter ... to me.
Shel0 -
You matter to me too, Shel. My dad used to say tomorrow is a new day, and I miss him too. He also used to say: Rome wasn't built in a day. Baby steps towards our goals. That's all we need: baby steps. Or sometimes my MO is two steps forward, one step back......but progress is still made, right?0
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On 10/21, both shelleygold and robertwilkens wrote insightful posts I thoroughly enjoyed reading. I did not respond to either, for on that day, I could not collect my thoughts. That is just another symptom of how far I've fallen, but I will climb back out, I assure you. In the meantime, I apologize if my writing is disorganized (or non-existent). My thoughts are equally disorganized, but that, too, Will. Pass. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!0
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I am sorry if i haven't posted too much here. I personally don't feel like MFP should be a depression support board, though i think we can safely discuss issues relating to how weight loss is affected by meds and such (and also how diet and exercise affect out mood -- i've known for at least 10 years that the best prescription for depression is exercise, yet at the same time when i'm depressed it's hard to start moving). There are plenty of other places on the net for that (You'll find me at least occasionally in the discussion groups on nami.org, usually the Schizoaffective board, though i'm not even sure that's an appropriate place at least it's monitored by people with training for the few occasions there have been issues).1
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We are all "works in progress," whether physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually... You have strength beyond measure. Who could work so hard to make each day a good day? Only someone who is willing to put in the energy to learn, grow and work toward it. Every day.
Make one good decision (even if it's eating 2 marshmallows). Then make another (grab a glass of water and walk outside instead of opening the bag again). And keep at it.0 -
Hi Group
As I think about Robrrt's comments I worry that we often mistake intentions and expectations. This thread is nothing more than we make it. Like a Roreschack inkblot or a cloud in the sky with an interesting formation. We give the shape meaning and we tell the cloud what it looks like. Similarly, we decide what might be interesting to write about and what is cool about other's comments and stories. I'm sure support can be helpful and help can include support. This isn't therapy however from a professional perspective. Just people opening up a bit. If someone wrote that they were at risk, I imagine one would identify the seriousness of the comment and do what was possible. I think the complex area of body image, eating behaviours and habits may have important links to mood and our feelings which is why I started the thread last January. I think we can learn from one another and become wiser as we journey through our successss. I know I look forward to what amazing messages people place on here which is of course voluntary and always respected.
.... Hope it continues to move forward.
Off for a big hike today.
Have a great day/evening wherever you are
Shel
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Hi Everyone
I attended an interesting group yesterday. Anyone hear of Overeaters Anonymous? The assumption people make when you go to this type of meeting is that you are a "compulsive" eater. I would love to hear your views on the what makes someone compulsive. I think to myself that we all have to eat to live so that is a reasonably good compulsive to have; otherwise ...well the alternative is silly. I think the organization targets people who cannot stop eating or at least cannot stop eating whatever foods meet needs that ought to be filled in healthier ways. (need for love, acceptance, having excitement in life, having meaning etc). So that made me think about how challenging it is to manage moods and food at the same time. If we have become used to eating to "feel better" or to distract or to fill a void, this may create a lifestyle and an environment for us that isn't easy, natural or balanced. How do you manage the balance in your life? Is eating food in a good "place" for you? Do you know what enough is enough? My partner can put a block of chocolate in the fridge and she can make it last a week... a month even. For me, that is unbelievable. If the sucker survives one night near me, that is an achievement. Would you be willing to share your relationship(s) with food. Mine is a love/hate one. It is getting easier but I notice with age, it gets harder and harder for me to lose weight so being far more mindful of what I am eating, I think. is critical. But I don't think I should take it out on food. Food exists in every type of form imaginable. Is it more about self-control/self discipline? Having foresight into how certain foods impact on the body and our metabolism? Lots of people talked about sugar last night. They equated abstinence with no sugar. Not everyone did this but quite a few. what are your thoughts about your relationship with sugary foods? I would love to know what you make of how food and you get along?
Look forward to your thoughts and stories
Shel (the not so sure) compulsive eater
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shelleygold wrote: »Hi Group
As I think about Robrrt's comments I worry that we often mistake intentions and expectations. This thread is nothing more than we make it. Like a Roreschack inkblot or a cloud in the sky with an interesting formation. We give the shape meaning and we tell the cloud what it looks like. Similarly, we decide what might be interesting to write about and what is cool about other's comments and stories. I'm sure support can be helpful and help can include support. This isn't therapy however from a professional perspective. Just people opening up a bit. If someone wrote that they were at risk, I imagine one would identify the seriousness of the comment and do what was possible. I think the complex area of body image, eating behaviours and habits may have important links to mood and our feelings which is why I started the thread last January. I think we can learn from one another and become wiser as we journey through our successss. I know I look forward to what amazing messages people place on here which is of course voluntary and always respected.
.... Hope it continues to move forward.
Off for a big hike today.
Have a great day/evening wherever you are
Shel
I'm so glad i procrastinated writing about robertwilkens' post. Shel, you have a writing gift that i do not posses
i do UNDERSTAND where Robert is coming from, and I'm glad he posted an alternative website. and for those who may be interested, i also recommend "projectbeyondblue" which was started for those of us with "treatment resistant depression" and their families. However, I found this thread by accident...... when i was told by my physical therapist to stop doing all the exercise forms i love (for a good reason, of course)..... and i knew, from prior experience, it would lead to worsening depression. by accident, I have met wonderful souls here, and I intend to continue dropping by! I can surely "dial it back" if i've been too intense lately. hopefully a new medication i started earlier this week will do that by default. ("it can happen!") at any rate, mood disorders and eating behaviors are surely linked..... in this girl's world, at least. 0 -
shelleygold wrote: »Hi Everyone
I attended an interesting group yesterday. Anyone hear of Overeaters Anonymous? The assumption people make when you go to this type of meeting is that you are a "compulsive" eater. I would love to hear your views on the what makes someone compulsive. I think to myself that we all have to eat to live so that is a reasonably good compulsive to have; otherwise ...well the alternative is silly. I think the organization targets people who cannot stop eating or at least cannot stop eating whatever foods meet needs that ought to be filled in healthier ways. (need for love, acceptance, having excitement in life, having meaning etc). So that made me think about how challenging it is to manage moods and food at the same time. If we have become used to eating to "feel better" or to distract or to fill a void, this may create a lifestyle and an environment for us that isn't easy, natural or balanced. How do you manage the balance in your life? Is eating food in a good "place" for you? Do you know what enough is enough? My partner can put a block of chocolate in the fridge and she can make it last a week... a month even. For me, that is unbelievable. If the sucker survives one night near me, that is an achievement. Would you be willing to share your relationship(s) with food. Mine is a love/hate one. It is getting easier but I notice with age, it gets harder and harder for me to lose weight so being far more mindful of what I am eating, I think. is critical. But I don't think I should take it out on food. Food exists in every type of form imaginable. Is it more about self-control/self discipline? Having foresight into how certain foods impact on the body and our metabolism? Lots of people talked about sugar last night. They equated abstinence with no sugar. Not everyone did this but quite a few. what are your thoughts about your relationship with sugary foods? I would love to know what you make of how food and you get along?
Look forward to your thoughts and stories
Shel (the not so sure) compulsive eater
I have heard of overeater's anonymous, but have never attended a meeting. I am, however, familiar with other 12-step programs. oh, how easy it is to "conquer" one addiction just to pick up another. I am not a food addict, but, i do have a love/hate relationship with food. After my long-time psychiatrist retired about a year ago, i had to "start over" with a new one. The initial intake is always the hardest part of that process, ANYWAY, i told her i was a food abuser. she asked me to explain and i told her....... when i'm struggling.... i don't eat to fuel my body. (in my mind's eye... that is the real reason for food) i eat my emotions (whatever they are), i eat because i'm bored, i eat to fill a "void", i eat because it's there, or it's "time" or as a social outlet. occasionally, i wonder if sometimes i overeat as a form of punishment! i have labeled this "food abuse" and that's when i hate food. i really wish i didn't have to eat at all. but that's just me.
this is also just me: my body doesn't like sugar. i think a balanced diet includes sugar! but my body just doesn't do well on it. every time i overdo sugar, i pay the consequences. every single time. that's just me. I have (obviously) binged on sugar in the past, i will overeat sugar again in the future. i will pay the consequences and they are mainly emotional/mental ones. lucky me, i don't "pay" on the scale, at least not much, and although i can't say losing weight is by any means "easy" for me, it is a lot easier for me than for others. lucky me. I feel so much better mentally/emotionally when i eat whole foods, with minimal sugar. it is difficult for me to maintain eating that way when i don't exercise. probably the mood thing again. i have learned all of this through trial and error, by the way, and i surely understand that everyone is different and has different needs and experiences. i can only share with you what i've learned about myself! 0 -
girlwithcurls2 wrote: »We are all "works in progress," whether physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually... You have strength beyond measure. Who could work so hard to make each day a good day? Only someone who is willing to put in the energy to learn, grow and work toward it. Every day.
Make one good decision (even if it's eating 2 marshmallows). Then make another (grab a glass of water and walk outside instead of opening the bag again). And keep at it.
i LOVE your attitude! KUDOS to girlwithcurls
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Dear Myra,
Your thoughtful comments add a depth of wisdom and insight which I look forward to with eagerness. Please don't stop sharing. What one person writes, many think. You write beautifully and from a soulful place. I relax into your words and sip the nector of your story.
Thank you
Shel the sipper0 -
wow, could i actually be feeling special?
i just logged on to "check in" and wasn't expecting such a kind post, so thank you.
I am going to try something new (to me), that I've been putting off for a long time, but i think my yoga teacher has given me the motivation to finally try it.
has anyone here ever heard of EFT? Emotional Freedom Technique? (also called Tapping)
here's a link for the curious:
http://www.emofree.com/eft-tutorial/tapping-basics/how-to-do-eft.html
almost a week on a "new to me med" and i'm feeling a little bit hopeful. fingers crossed.
happy monday to you all!0 -
@kae612 I do see what you mean, and I agree that you shouldn't jump on the medication bandwagon right away. If a person's clinical depression is very mild, other things might work and you won't need medication. So it's worth trying other things, but if they don't work, then there's nothing wrong with taking the next step to try medication.
I think my point I was trying to make is that there is still stigma for taking antidepressants. So many people believe that 'happy pills' as they call them are a shortcut and you can 'cure' depression with will and effort. Add to that the stigma of having any kind of mental imbalance (or whatever you want to call it) means you're broken and it's shameful, it's a wonder that so many people do actual try meds.
And I have a general question: am I the only person that gets really annoyed at the 'hang in there' motivational speeches people try to give when I mention I'm feeling down? It's like, dude, if it was that easy, I wouldn't be feeling down! *headdesk*0 -
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If you're at a 'low' then i think "hang in there" can be good advice if taken right. It's kind of what i've told myself when i hit a deep depression, i could think suicidal thoughts or at least "passive death wish" thoughts, but instead I try to tell myself "I've felt better than this before, I've had good times, just be patient, they've come back in the past and they undoubtedly will in the future". It's always a matter of getting 'past' the low period. In the end, depression is just a mood, and for those with a mood disorder it's an abnormal/extreme mood, but it's just a mood and not a reflection of the reality of your life.
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I go the other way. When I am depressed I stop eating and lose a ton of weight. For 6 months I was off work. All I did was lie in bed and not move. The only thing that got me out of bed was my pets. They were fed, water changed, litter box changed and dogs put out in the yard. I cried all through doing this, but I did do it. My brother and sister-in-law walked my dogs for me and brought me food, pet food and litter as I could not go out for this. They also took me to my weekly Dr. appointment and counselling. They were great. I am now on anti-depressants and my mood has stabilized. I still have occasional bouts of depression, but now I am exercising I get fewer. I had to take early retirement, as I had a lot of trouble working, even though my mood was stabilized. Of course, once I was better, I gained all the weight back. I am now going to Curves and Bikram yoga. I am losing weight via Jenny Craig. When I started with them I thought Yeah, no cooking. Now I am looking forward to starting to cook for myself. I am volunteering at the SPCA. I still monitor my mood, to make sure I am not slipping back into negative thoughts and emotions.0
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robertwilkens wrote: »If you're at a 'low' then i think "hang in there" can be good advice if taken right. It's kind of what i've told myself when i hit a deep depression, i could think suicidal thoughts or at least "passive death wish" thoughts, but instead I try to tell myself "I've felt better than this before, I've had good times, just be patient, they've come back in the past and they undoubtedly will in the future". It's always a matter of getting 'past' the low period. In the end, depression is just a mood, and for those with a mood disorder it's an abnormal/extreme mood, but it's just a mood and not a reflection of the reality of your life.
See, for me, it doesn't work. I end up spiraling down into what I called the 'fail cycle' and people telling me to cheer up made me feel worse because I couldn't at the time, which just contributed to that little voice telling me I'm a failure. I do take something now that allows me to balance that mood out myself without feeling horrible for days on end. I still have bad days, but at least now I can pull myself out of them before they go on for too long.0 -
See, for me, it doesn't work. I end up spiraling down into what I called the 'fail cycle' and people telling me to cheer up made me feel worse because I couldn't at the time, which just contributed to that little voice telling me I'm a failure. I do take something now that allows me to balance that mood out myself without feeling horrible for days on end. I still have bad days, but at least now I can pull myself out of them before they go on for too long.
interesting. for whatever reason, i interpret "hang in there" and "cheer up" completely differently. i agree with you that hearing "cheer up" when you know that is out of your reach at the moment, does nothing but make you think "if only...." on the other hand, "hang in there" to me means: you know it will get better, it always does.... just keep being faithful to that thought and it'll be alright, even though it doesn't feel like it right now.
so, there you go.
i'm pleased and grateful that dubird and firststepformefal both found something that works for them 0 -
My 2 cents
Certainly we rely on superficial communication to lubricate the awkward moments when it's hard to know what to say. One if the impacts on my emotional state when I hear cliche type words which generate from (often caring) people is frustration. I imagine the frustration is created by me because my mood is like a wild cyclonic storm and someone is suggesting I "hang on". Of course I am hanging on. I'm still here0 -
I think communication is like a picnic. Someone brings the words and others bring the meaning. Good hearted people often say what comes to mind which may not fit the experiences of others but if the intention is perceived as genuine and caring we can make it ok. I think we gain acceptance over our challenges and permit others to learn that we can manage their journey regarding how they think and feel about our situations. We can manage our responses and be quite excellent at remaining balanced when we have a handle on what we are working on.
I was looking at a shirt I have in my closet which I cannot fit into and was bagging myself for having slipped over the past 4 months. Having read the posts this morning, I looked lovingly at the piece of clothing and asked for its patients. I said to it quietly..(wait for it....)
Hang in there.
Take care everyone.
Shel0 -
Nm0
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hang in there. hang ON there. on the hangar!
no different than the folks pinning teensy bathing suits (they want to fit in by summer) to their refrigerator doors to keep themselves from snacking.0 -
hang in there. hang ON there. on the hangar!
no different than the folks pinning teensy bathing suits (they want to fit in by summer) to their refrigerator doors to keep themselves from snacking.
See, that would be creepy for me. Imagine stumbling into the kitchen in the middle of the night for a drink of something, and you see this itty bitty swimsuit on the fridge door. The white of the fridge is reflecting ambient light so it looks like it's glowing, but there's this ghost bikini floating in front of it......
Yeah, how about a big nope? ^_^;0 -
I have really been struggling to get back on track. I flew into a depression these past few weeks and I am attempting to dig out. I had a rage out which had been building bc of constant criticism for months. I lost it completely and felt as ai did as a child and I had the insight and ability to not respond as I did but I think it's years of pent up emotion towards my mother as she can be quite mean to me and if I show emotions there is something wrong with me or I need to be on meds or see a dr.
It felt good to release it however i could have reacted differently. I also found some release in yard work.
Lately I'm uninterested in any food available at home even when hungry so that is new. Food was my comfort and now it has changed asi am changing.0 -
hang in there. hang ON there. on the hangar!
no different than the folks pinning teensy bathing suits (they want to fit in by summer) to their refrigerator doors to keep themselves from snacking.
See, that would be creepy for me. Imagine stumbling into the kitchen in the middle of the night for a drink of something, and you see this itty bitty swimsuit on the fridge door. The white of the fridge is reflecting ambient light so it looks like it's glowing, but there's this ghost bikini floating in front of it......
Yeah, how about a big nope? ^_^;
I am totally with ya. I just know it works for some people as a reminder of their goal. My goal is to fit into clothes that fit me just fine a year ago but are "suddenly" now rather snug, but they can stay in my bedroom closet just fine.0 -
Hi everyone,
I was wondering if there is an upside to Depression and I thought of the following: Our ancestors had to hunt, gather, and prepare from scratch most foods. No Coles or Woolies on every corner for our Cavemen and women rellies. So, if food was scarce and the weather was crap, perhaps they had to stay in their caves for long periods of time and wait for things to change. Maybe their brains generated a "slowing down" of motivation and initiation so that calories might be preserved. It may have felt like depression WITHOUT the meaning we give it today. We don't have the luxury these days to slow down when the going gets tough. We tend to get angry and blame ourselves and feel even worse. Perhaps we ought to be gentle with ourselves when we are in that low mood and take small steps that move us ahead. That seems to make sense to me.
Your thoughts??
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i love the idea of being gentle with ourselves and taking small steps that move us ahead 0
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i just want to say happy friday to you all it's sunny where i live today, which is nice, and i was fortunate enough to spend my morning in a yoga studio. good stuff. 0
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